Islam Dismantled

by Sujit Das

  Kernberg understood malignant narcissism as the worst form of narcissism, and in 1984 he first proposed malignant narcissism as a psychiatric diagnosis and used the terms “malignant narcissism” and “psychopathic behavior” interchangeably. He pointed out that the antisocial personality was fundamentally narcissistic and without morality. Malignant narcissism includes a sadistic element, creating, in essence, a sadistic psychopath. Kernberg called “malignant” those Narcissists whose grandiosity is built around aggression and destruction of those who offer love. These are sadistic antisocial types with a deeply paranoid orientation toward life who so idealize their own aggressive power that they have killed off the sane and loving parts of themselves that might have enabled them to develop attachments and tolerate dependence (Hotchkiss, 2003, p. 168). Malignant Narcissists only wish to destroy, symbolically castrate, and dehumanize others. Their paranoia becomes so intense in old age that they are virtually unapproachable even by the people who are very closely related to him. They ultimately not only destroy themselves but also everyone around them, like “necrophiles” (sexual attraction towards corpses). It is always better to deal with these people by being careful about their dehumanizing capabilities. They are even capable to fool the therapists treating them. Followings are the special characteristics of malignant narcissism.

  Aggressiveness

  1. Glibness / superficial charm.

  2. Grandiose sense of self-worth.

  3. Pathological lying,

  4. Cunning, manipulative, deceitful,

  5. Criminal versatility.

  6. Lack of remorse or guilt, callous / lack of empathy, absence of conscience

  7. Characteristic demonstrations of joyful cruelty and sadism.

  8. Failure to accept responsibility for own actions.

  9. Blame-game

  10. Promiscuous sexual behavior, many short-term marital relationships.

  11. A psychological need for power.

  Socially deviant lifestyle

  1. Parasitic lifestyle.

  2. Impulsivity (Inclined to act on urge rather than thought).

  3. Family and social irresponsibility.

  4. Juvenile delinquency, pedophilia.

  The above traits are common amongst individuals with psychological disorders. However the psychopaths and malignant Narcissists must display a strong tendency towards these characteristics. Whereas the psychopath displays more antisocial features, the malignant Narcissist desires “unlimited power” and “everything”. He cannot delay gratification. He does not want to be equal to God but he wants even God to be inferior to him. He often moves above and beyond his contemporaries by making full use of his capabilities. The malignant Narcissists hardly make positive contributions to the society; their contributions are often negative and harmful.

  Malignant narcissism is a deadly illness. They deserve our genuine compassion. However, it is an extremely dangerous situation when a malignant Narcissist is in a position of power where he can create endless suffering and destruction. They have a sadistic “willingness to kill” just to protect their own self-serving delusions. This makes them particularly dangerous, as they will literally stop at nothing to hold onto the position of power in which they find themselves. War and an atmosphere of violence is the situation in which they feel most themselves. Malignant Narcissists are ruthless murderers (whether it be physically or psychically) who are criminally insane. Many psychiatrists feel the destructive behavior of a malignant Narcissist is an attempt to maintain his false self in the same way an alcoholic is desperate to construct his life to perpetuate his drinking, no matter whatever is the cost (Zayn & Dibble, 2007, p. 87). They can literally turn a man into a corpse without giving a second thought about the consequences. It is a tragic and destructive life.

  As we are going to see subsequently, all the aforementioned characteristics of malignant narcissism were prominently present in Muhammad, and with further critical analysis of the extent of his cruelty, abnormal sexual indulgence, paranoia and extreme greed; it is possible to prove that the beloved Prophet of the Muslims was actually a malignant Narcissist.

  3.5.1: The Defensive False Self of a Narcissist

  “It terrifies me to think of saying ‘This is me; this is my skin’. So I cop out on myself by being some other person, living with some other person’s fantasy. It becomes my fantasy. I know it’s not my real self. It’s fake. But I’m fake. If I let my real self come out, I will be all alone and I cannot handle that” .

  A Narcissist’s confession (Masterson, 1990, p. 19)

  The defensive false self of a Narcissist is characterized by self-importance, grandiosity, and omnipotence. The false self is bogus and fragile because it is based on a grandiose fantasy rather than on reality, and it is defensive because its purpose is not to cope or adapt to reality, but to reinforce grandiosity in order not to feel depressed (Masterson, 1990, p. 93). Because of this, the Narcissist is always alert and at war with his own true self to prevent it from emerging.

  A Narcissist cannot be happy unless he is the best. They often seem to be the people who have everything – talent, wealth, power. They also have a strong sense of knowing what they want and how to get it. They are intelligent and often manipulative. Many are very successful at work but a close observation of these people reveals that underneath of this “well-constructed mask” of grandiose style behavior, they are actually insecure, miserable people (Masterson, 1990, p. 91). The Narcissist is at the mercy of his inner demons (Zayn & Dibble, 2007, p. 67). His life is empty at its core and he often fails to realize that beneath this narcissistic glitter there is an impaired real self. In fact a time comes when the Narcissist becomes a slave to his false self like a person becomes addicted to drugs. Finally the impaired true self becomes like an apparition.

  Vaknin (1999, p. 9) wrote, “ A Narcissist is an actor enacting a monodrama, yet forced to remain behind the scene. The scenes take the center stage instead”. This is where the false self is in action. For example, a reporter on a crime scene may feel as if he is really a participant and he starts reacting that way. The Narcissist does not cater at all to his true self because he does not love his true self. He is at love with the reflection of his true self, i.e., the false self. He is always pressurized to keep moving to keep reinforcing his sense of grandeur. He may be a workaholic to satisfy his false self and hence “nothing to do” is a threat to him. Hence holidays are very stressful for a Narcissist because holidays focus on things not directly related to him (Zayn & Dibble, 2007, p. 77). He sees no red or amber lights ahead to make him stop or slow down. He moves at full speed toward his goal. Whether it is a lucrative business arrangement or a prospective romantic partner or spouse, the Narcissist lunges ahead with extreme self entitlement, feelings of superiority and an iron will that cannot be deterred. Ultimately he adopts the old saying – “not to move forward is to drop behind”. This often makes him an extremely restless person.

  Another distinctive characteristic of the false self is that it develops a strong defense mechanism to protect itself from the intolerable feeling of shame about personal shortcomings and inferiority complex (Hotchkiss, 2003, p. 14). Narcissists want to avoid these two things at any cost. So when we encounter arrogance in a Narcissist, it is not really the pride that we are seeing but a deep and irrational fear of being worthless. His superiority complex is in fact an extension of his inferiority complex. The feeling of supremacy often serves to mask a cancerous complex of inferiority.

  Vaknin (1999, p. 157) wrote, “ The Narcissist has a fake, substitute ego. This is why his energy is drained. He spends most of it on maintaining, preserving and protecting the wrapped unrealistic images of his (false) self and of his (fake) world. The Narcissist is a person exhausted by his own absence ”. What is the cause of his exhaustion? Twenge & Campbell (2010, p. 276) observed, “ … there has been a giant transfer of time, attention and resources from reality to fantasy.” Zayn & Dibble (2007, pp. 67, 87) concluded,

&
nbsp; The entire entity of a Narcissist is based on a lie. He created a false self as a means of acceptance and approval and was forced to cultivate that lie in order to maintain his existence .

  The Narcissist lives a tragic and destructive life, trying to balance on the sharp and rocky peak of his false self. Much of the Narcissist’s psychic energy is directed towards maintaining this balance within himself and his environment and the resulting stress and frustration accumulates .

  Narcissists strongly oppose any force that threatens to knock them from their precarious positions. That is why they are very envious of others. Value is always relative, not absolute. The false self of a Narcissist thinks this way – if someone else’s stock goes up, my stock automatically goes down. When the false self feels deflated, it can reinforce itself by diminishing, humiliating or degrading someone else. If his balloon gets punctured by the ill winds of life, it can only be repaired by proving that someone else is more inferior to him.

  3.5.2: The Narcissistic Supply

  A Narcissist is strongly motivated by the continuous need for “supplies” to feed the grandiose conception of himself. In this sense; the word “supplies” means those specific activities and relationships that reinforce his grandiosity. He feeds off other people, who hurls back him an image (the inflated false self) that he projects to them. This is their sole function in this world – to reflect, to respect, to applaud and to detest – in a word, to assure that the false self of the Narcissist exists (Vaknin, 1999, p. 9). Other people exist in a Narcissist’s life to please him. For him, the people are like “useful tools” and “opportunities”, and therefore they should be used and exploited. The purpose of their very existence is to mirror the Narcissist’s image of himself – unique, special and important. Otherwise they have no right to tax his time, energy or emotions – this is what a Narcissist feels.

  The narcissistic supply can be anything that feeds his fragile false ego. He always goes around “hunting and collecting” the way the expressions on people’s faces change when they notice him. He places himself at the center of attention, or even as a figure of controversy. He lives in a world which is black (being unknown and deprived of attention, i.e., deprivation of narcissistic supplies) and white (being famous and celebrated, i.e., rich narcissistic supplies). For a Narcissist the world looks like a place where the only food is meat and all the humans are cattle. That is why, at the most primitive level, Narcissists think they “have to” act the way they do in order to survive.

  A Narcissist continuously rates people round him for potential supply sources. First he conducts a binary test – can this or that person provide him with narcissistic supply? For him, those who fail this test simply do not exist. “They are two dimensional cartoon figures”, as Vaknin (1999, p. 38) commented, “Their feelings, needs and fears are of no interest or importance”. Those persons who filtered through are regarded as “human” and the Narcissist would nurture and cultivate those people. Needless to say that he loses interest in them once he judges that they have lost their capacity to supply him what he needs. He is not at all concerned or interested either in the person or in the circumstances, and he has no time or energy for anything, except the next narcissistic fix, no matter what the price and who is trampled upon (Vaknin, 1999, p. 39). It is impossible for him to commit himself emotionally to another human being because in doing so, the underlying emptiness, rage and depression of his impaired true self will be exposed. He is fully self-absorbed and self-centered; there is no place for sentiment. An emotional involvement means directing his feeling and interest to another but as far as he is concerned; there is no “other” in his life.

  Narcissists are never satisfied and crave for more power. The more power they have, the more freely they can diminish others to keep themselves inflated. They “misuse” the power to secure more narcissistic supplies and often cause unjustified harm to others without provocation.

  3.5.3: The Causes of Narcissism

  The root causes for the development of an inflated false self is comparatively a new topic in psychological studies which is not thoroughly understood yet. There is still considerable speculation on how the narcissistic personality develops. It seems the Narcissist suffers a developmental arrest prior to the emergence of real self in early childhood but how and why this arrest occurs is not always clear. Another theory regards NPD as a young child’s defense against psychological pain. These two perspectives have been identified with two major figures in psychoanalytic thought, Heinz Kohut and Otto Kernberg respectively. Both these theories go back to Freud’s pioneering work On Narcissism: An Introduction. According to Freud, narcissistic disorders originate in very early childhood development, and this early origin is thought to explain why they are so difficult to treat in later life.

  Both the researchers traced the roots of NPD to disturbances in the patient’s family of origin, specifically to the problems in the parent-child relationship before the child turned three (Masterson, 1981, pp. 16, 24). But they disagree in their accounts of the nature of these problems. According to Kohut, the child grows out of primary narcissism acquiring a more realistic sense of self and a set of personal ideals and values but if the parents fail to provide appropriate opportunities for idealization (e.g., mother’s decreasing availability to meet his every need), the child remains “stuck” at a developmental stage in which its sense of self remains grandiose and unrealistic while at the same time he remains dependent on approval from others for self-esteem.

  In contrast, Kernberg views NPD as rooted in the child’s defense against a cold and unempathic parent, usually the mother. Masterson (1990, p. 102) agreed with Kernberg, and observed that the mothers of the Narcissists are emotionally cold and exploitative narcissistic personalities themselves who ignore their child’s separation and individual needs in order to mould him to fit their own uncompromising standards and serve their own emotional needs. Emotionally hungry and angry at the depriving parents, the child withdraws into a part of the self that the parents value; whether looks, intellectual ability, or some other skill or talent. This part of the self becomes hyper-inflated and grandiose. Any perceived weaknesses are “split off” into a hidden part of the self. Splitting gives rise to a lifelong tendency to swing between extremes of grandiosity and feelings of emptiness and worthlessness.

  Zayn & Dibble (2007, pp. 6, 7) have a rather simplistic hypothesis. According to them, during an important stage of the personality development of a child, a significant individual enters his life who needs him to be something other than what he is. The child then feels as if he has to be different in order to be loved or accepted by that individual. It devastates the emerging “self” of the child. Unable to be the person he actually is and still gain acceptance, the child adapts by splitting his personality into a real and a false self. He learns to hide the real self because it is seen in a negative way and tries to compensate for his “shortcomings” by creating a “special” self – a person who will be loved and admired by all. When the child grows up, he becomes what the environment “needs him to be” and in turn he makes those around him into what he “needs them to be”.

  However, in all accounts, the child emerges into adult life with a history of unsatisfactory relationships with others. Today all the famous psychologists agree that unempathic parenting is one of the major causes of NPD (Costello, 1996, p. 148). The Narcissist feels unprepared for adulthood because he has been raised with an unrealistic view of life. For him reality is replaced by delusion. The child grows up with a grandiose view of the self and a conflict-ridden psychological dependence on others. Ultimately he shows the symptoms of a full-blown narcissism.

  3.5.4: The Narcissistic Rage

  A major characteristic of a Narcissist is his rage originating from his distorted inner world. This is not like any other type of anger; it is unpredictable, highly overreactive and without a valid reason. Kohut coined the term “narcissistic rage”; and according to him (1977, p. 243), the narcissi
stic rage develops out of a profound sense of disappointment and loss of self-objects. It is an empty depression based on the “depleted self”. In fact much of the Kohut’s writing deals with the analysis of narcissistic rage and its socio-political impact (surprisingly, his analysis perfectly explains the rise of Hitler in Germany). Kernberg describes the narcissistic rage as revengeful and compulsive, and it is a driving need to “pay back” another for some insult that threatens the Narcissist’s well-defended persona (Donaldson-Pressman & Pressman, 1997, p. 144). Even a small disagreement may trigger a rage. It is also non-selective. Anyone who is nearby of a raging Narcissist is at risk for insult and attack regardless of his guilt or innocence.

  Many researchers have made significant contributions to the field of knowledge on narcissistic rage. As a summary, we can assume that there are two main reasons of this abnormal outburst of anger. First, when the Narcissist sees glimpses of his true self, he feels threatened. So he initially devalues the person(s), and if it does not work, he uses rage to regain control. Secondly, when a conflict needs to be resolved he cannot fight fairly because he follows no ethical guidelines. So he wants to win the game with a sudden outburst of anger. He wants to “convince” the targets that it is “their fault”. The hostility continues even after the victims admit to faults that are not their own, or forced to devalue their own past achievements, and even try to make amends or beg mercy.