Miss Independent, Volumes 1 - 4

by Kiki Leach

  She pointed to the bags in the chair. “I went shopping. Since you were still sleep and I had already gotten my exercise for the day in…” She grinned. He cleared his throat and focused on another part of the room. She frowned taking notice, but suppressed the uncomfortable feeling that was bubbling up in the center of her chest. “I decided to pick up a few things for my parents. Now…” She casually slid her arm around his neck, her ebony skin glowing from exuberance in the sunlight. She hoped to ease herself of the sour feeling, and to entice him into wanting her again. “I have to meet Vanessa later, but did you want to pick up where we left off before I go?” Her eyes fluttered shut and she leaned forward for a kiss. Nathan stepped back and her arm slid down the side of his. Her eyes popped open and she furrowed her brows and scrunched her nose. “What’s wrong with you today?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re acting strange,” she said. “You don’t even want me to touch you.”

  He looked down at himself and sighed. “I just took a shower.”

  “And you think I’ll get you dirty again? If I did, would that be such a bad thing?”

  She tried flirting, but he wasn’t interested. He grimaced, thinking of last night, of them in bed together, and rattled his head. “Why are you meeting Vanessa?” he asked.

  “That’s what this comes down to, being about V, again.”

  “No, it’s not. I just want to know what you two could possibly have to discuss after what happened.”

  “A lot. I wanted to talk some things over with her and apologize. I thought about it this morning and I realized that whatever you two had is in the past. After last night I know damn well that it will always be just that.” She bent forward to try and kiss him again, but he turned to avoid her lips. She twisted her face in confusion. “Nathan, what the hell is going on with you?”

  “Nothing is going on with me, Sheila. It’s odd that you want to see her today, that’s all.”

  “It doesn’t seem like that’s all, because to me, you seem a little bit too protective of her right now.”

  “How am I being protective in asking you why you’re meeting her?”

  “Because it’s like you assume that something’s going to happen and I’ll be the cause of it. You’re concerned that little miss precious might get hurt in another rumble.”

  He opened his arms and backed away. “When you talk like that, I can’t help but wonder.” He opened the door wide and went to the other side of the bathroom to gather his robe.

  Sheila leaned on the frame and crossed one leg over the other. “I didn’t mean to call her that. It sounded like I did, but…” She stopped. “I really do want us to be friends again. I feel like if I keep saying it, maybe it’ll come true. Hell, at this point, I hope that she can just forgive me for what I said to her last night so that we can go from there. I tried calling to apologize, but she never picked up. I didn’t tell you because we got too busy to talk about it. I wanted to take back everything and told her that I think she’ll be happy someday, with someone.” She crossed her arms and looked aside. “Maybe she’ll even find happiness with Maurice.”

  Nathan stopped gathering his things and stood straight. A crinkle formed between his brows and his face turned to stone. “Maurice?” He turned around and stared at her, his eyes glowing with a fury she had never seen. “You think they have something going on?”

  She shrugged. “Isn’t it obvious from the way he attacked you last night?”

  “He attacked me because he’s in love with her. The man is resentful because he knows that she’ll never feel the same way.”

  “And if she did, what the hell does that have to do with you or us?”

  “It has a lot to do with us if he’s going to keep attacking me every time we go out someplace.”

  “Nathan, he probably drank too much like we all did. In fact, there were things you said to him last night that you really could apologize for too.”

  “Things like what?!” he snapped.

  “How about for calling him a lapdog? There’s a lot of things I’ve learned about Maurice over the years, being in love with Vanessa might be one but being her lapdog has never been the other. Not with all of the women he’s ever been with before and after.”

  “After what?”

  She flinched, quickly remembering he had no idea of Maurice and Vanessa’s brief relationship in college. She knew how angry it would make him, seeing as her little mention of them together already made him want to choke something or someone, so she covered her tracks as best as she could before he could explode on her again. “After we left… for California.”

  “And that’s the reason he’ll never have her. He hasn’t conquered her and he’s angry about it. Probably be pissed until the day he dies.”

  “You talk about her like she’s Mount Everest and he has yet to climb her to the top.” She sighed. “Listen, I’ve done my part and reached out to Vanessa. Maybe it’s time you did the same with Maurice.” She went over for her jacket, slipping it on her shoulders.

  He followed her out of the bathroom and tossed his robe inside a hamper that sat across the room. “He attacked me and you think I should apologize?”

  “Be the bigger person. Why do you think I keep going out of my way to contact Vanessa? It might mean nothing in the end, but she can never say I didn’t try. Speaking of which, I better go before I’m late. You know how much she hates that.”

  “Why are you suddenly trying so hard to be the bigger, better person?” he asked. “Things were just fine as they were.”

  “No they weren’t,” she said. “Being the way we have been over the last few years hasn’t really gotten us all that far with many people, has it?”

  He stared at her for a moment and nodded. “You miss the friendships.”

  “I miss a lot of things, like sex, which we hadn’t had in a very long time. My body was never more ready for it than it was last night, and it made me realize after that it only came to me as a reward.”

  He made a face. “A reward for what?”

  “All the good deeds I’ve done. I apologize to Vanessa and the universe rewarded me with sex. Maybe if we become best friends again, the universe will reward me with an actual wedding.”

  “I never said I wouldn’t marry you, Sheila.”

  “You don’t have to say it,” she replied. “Your actions speak louder than your words sometimes. I don’t think you understand that.” She turned toward the door and he came up behind, slipping an arm around her waist and holding her tight.

  “Sheil’s.”

  She smiled and leaned her head away from him. “You’re all wet.”

  “So were you last night.” He bent down to kiss the side of her neck. “Things are going to be different now, I promise,” he said. “The time we spent together was what we needed to get everything back on track.”

  “You’re sure?” she asked. He nodded, thinking. “If that’s the case, are you sure you don’t want to go for another round before I leave?”

  “No.” He released her almost as quickly as he had taken hold. She immediately felt the emotional distance between them. Knowing that the sex they had was beautiful couldn’t seem to erase that. The thought of it swelled her heart to the size of a melon. “You should get to Vanessa. You don’t want her to wait.”

  She turned to look him in the eyes, pleading with her own. He wouldn’t look at her and she knew all too well the reason why. “We wouldn’t have to be long--”

  “Sheil’s.” He shook his head. “We can make time when you come back later.”

  She no longer knew what to think. One minute he was all over her, reassuring of them and his love, and the next he couldn’t get away from her fast enough. She didn’t know whether to keep appreciating the little she was given or wonder why it wasn’t so much more.

  “Okay.” She looked down and gnawed her lip. “Tonight, then. We can go out to dinner and come back here for dessert.” He nodded again. She knew th
rough his silence that he hadn’t planned to meet, but she remained hopeful. “I’ll be back soon.” She grabbed her purse and keys and headed for the door. “By the way, I got you something in one of the bags. It’s only a pair of socks. I had hit my limit by the time I reached Tiffany’s, but… I hope you like them.”

  Once she closed the door behind her, Nathan turned back to stare at the room again. He thought if he told Sheila everything she wanted to hear that he would start to believe it himself. He thought if he made her feel good about where they stood in their relationship, that he would feel the same. Unfortunately, the lies made it all so much worse than it already was.

  Part Four

  Back at the townhouse, Vanessa periodically checked her phone as she dressed, preparing herself for the wrath of Alexis. Though they had never been close, or as some mothers and daughters considered themselves to be friends, they had become slightly closer since Sheila and Nathan had arrived back to town almost a month prior. But after the fight with Sheila, and with the story spreading far and wide across the east coast like an unnamed virus, Vanessa knew that whatever closeness she felt with her mother was sure to disappear just as quickly as it emerged.

  As she adjusted her fitted jeans while staring at herself in the floor length mirror attached to the wall and slipped into her red suede Blahnik’s, she heard a knock at her bedroom door. Hesitating to answer, as she feared it was Maurice, she froze where she stood, waiting for the person on the other side to speak first.

  “V?” a light voice asked. It was Nikki.

  She breathed a sigh of relief and dropped her shoulders. “Yeah, come in.”

  Nikki peeked her head inside and got a glimpse of her outfit. “Wearing something that you don’t think Sheila has ever worn before?”

  “I don’t think that girl owns a pair of jeans, let alone even knows how to spell the word.” She frowned. “That sounded kind of bitchy, didn’t it?”

  “Un poco.”

  “Well, it’s the least she deserves. Not that it matters anymore, I guess.”

  “Why?”

  She rattled her head and pulled down on her orange tank. “No reason.” She grabbed an oversized shirt to wear over it and fluffed the large curls in her hair. Most people would’ve hidden themselves behind shades and big hats after such a scandal had hit the mainstream media, but Vanessa was never that kind of girl. Nikki thought she looked like someone headed for an audition of ‘I love the 80s’ but bit her tongue in saying so. Vanessa rummaged through her clutch bag for a tube of red lipstick and a peppermint. “So what’s up?”

  “I wanted to ask you the same thing about Maurice. Are you two having sex? Is this happening now?”

  “What the hell would make you ask me something like that, Nik?”

  “You two were acting extraño in the limo last night. I know he’s a professional flirt, but you took it un poco demasiado lejos as well. And then downstairs? I thought he was going to punch a hole in the wall, he was so pissed when he heard about you and Nathan.”

  “We’re not doing anything, he’s just… being protective like he always is. Which brings me to asking how the hell you two got to talking about Oscar last night. What did he say when you confirmed it?”

  “He wasn’t all that surprised. I don’t think he cares as much--”

  “As much as I do?”

  “I wasn’t going to say that.” Her skirt flew up as she fell back to the bed and tucked one leg beneath the other. “My love life isn’t something that he thinks about because he doesn’t want to be a part of it, not like yours. Did something else happen between you two after I went to sleep and you finally came home?”

  Vanessa thought long and hard about her question. She knew if she answered yes, he kissed me until my lips burned with a pleasurable pain I hadn’t felt since college and forced my pussy to tingle with the thought of his dick inside me all while making my heart flutter as if I were fifteen years old all over again, Nikki would most likely think her pathetic and wasting her time. She wouldn’t say it out loud, of course, but it would certainly be what she was thinking. Maurice was a player if there ever was one, but his heart only ever belonged to Vanessa; she was the only person in his life who managed to give him credit for it.

  “We just talked,” she finally said, “that’s all. He wants to try again, but I’m not so sure it’s a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  She tilted her head and scowled. “You do?”

  “I didn’t say that, I’m asking why you don’t.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t want to screw up our friendship if we happen to end things.”

  “You didn’t screw it up before.”

  “We never had sex before, we barely even kissed before. Things are different now. If we got together for real, we’d do all of that and more. I’m not sure my heart would be able to handle losing him as my friend if things ever went south.”

  “You don’t know unless you try, V. Aprovechar el día!”

  “Seize what day? And why are you suddenly advocating for Maurice?” She dotted her mouth with the red lipstick she had found and spread it around her lips with the tip of her finger. “Is this suddenly the Twilight Zone or did he pay you to speak up on his behalf?”

  “No,” Nikki replied warily. “I just thought more about it and if you’re thinking of going back to Nathan, then Maurice is the lesser of two evils.”

  “I’m not going back to Nathan, Nik. Newsflash, he’s getting married. But, then again, it hasn’t stopped Oscar, has it?” She wiped her fingers with tissue and dropped her lipstick back into her clutch before heading downstairs. Nikki pursed her lips and followed after. “Speaking of, are you going into work today?”

  “I took today off because I was too tired. But I’m going in tomorrow after an audition. And I’m going in the day after that, and the day after that, and maybe even the day after that--”

  “There are other coffee shops in New York looking for a trained barista every day, Nik. I’ve mentioned that, right?” she asked, whirling around to face her as they reached the foot of the stairs. “And the owners probably don’t sleep with their employees. Oscar doesn’t own every shop on the block.”

  “I know that, V.” She rolled her eyes in the manner of a child and looked away.

  Vanessa folded her arms and leaned in. “Tell me, what exactly do you plan to get out of this relationship with this man aside from a lot of sneaking around and sex that better not be happening inside my house?”

  “I plan to get him,” she said. “He is going to leave her, it just takes time.”

  “You act as if his dick is like some kind of magic wand that only reacts to YOUR pussy when activated!”

  “Que la burda.”

  “I’m sorry, look--” She pressed her hands against her face and grinded her teeth. “Okay.” She breathed out and lowered her arms to her sides. “I’m starting to feel like all we seem to do is have the same conversation over and over again regarding him, and nothing’s getting through to you no matter what I say, but let me just see if I can try a different approach with you this time. You remember Professor Adrian, right? The one I was having all the great sex with at NYU, except he wasn’t married to anything but his job?”

  Nikki groaned. “Yes.”

  “He bent me this way and that, turned me upside down once… my body was explored in ways I never knew even existed on planet earth before I met him.”

  “V?” she asked, disgusted and cringing. “I got the picture.”

  “Sorry, I was just thinking back. Anyway, you remember how I told you how often he filled my head with all kinds of things before and after such great sex, like he would quit someday and we would be the ones married with all kinds of kids like his friends, and live in the suburbs next door to his parents, or at least any place that wasn’t New York City? He said all of this with me knowing it wasn’t going to happen, but only telling me so that we could continue screwing against every flat surface inside his office and apartment
, because he knew that kind of life was what I ultimately wanted, and I was just stupidly desperate enough at the time to do damn near anything to get it. I was still so broken from Nathan and things with Maurice weren’t working out like I wanted. Adrian was older and sophisticated and sexy and so much smarter than any other man I had ever been with to the point that it all blinded me for a while. But he was also a master manipulator and a liar, and once I realized those things, I exited stage left from that relationship.”

  “It’s not the same thing, Vanessa.”

  “It is, Nicole,” she snapped. “It might have only lasted a few months compared to a year, but I never forgot that time in my life because it made me into the woman I am now. Adrian fixed what was broken inside of me, not because he made me feel something real but because he made me see for the first time since Nathan that I could stand on my own two feet. I might have wanted a man and children, but I didn’t necessarily need those things to fill whatever hole I had inside of me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I still want those things. I still dream of having an all-consuming love that will leave me breathless for days, weeks, months and years to come. But I learned to never, ever rely on someone who is telling you what you want to hear rather than showing you what you need to see.”

  “V--”

  “Stop, and listen, Nik. Now, my mother used to tell me when I was little from a poem she often read after my dad left, that when someone shows you who they are, believe them. I learned what that meant all too well when it came to people like Nathan and Sheila, and honey, Oscar has been showing you his ass since the very beginning. He is not leaving Melanie for you or anyone else. I don’t know how many times anyone has to tell you short of beating it into your skull that he ain’t going nowhere. And when you finally realize that, I’ll be here to hold your hand and blow your nose when you cry and I will even go out of my way to hire someone to vandalize his house and car if need be. I will always be here for you, but I cannot keep listening to you talk about this man as if what he’s telling you is the God’s truth when all I see are lies spilling out one after the other.” She checked her watch and grabbed her keys from her clutch. “I should go but… you’re gonna be okay. With or without that man, you are going to be fine, because you have me. I told you before it’s not the same, and I know that, but unlike a man, you don’t have to sleep with me to keep me here. I’ll see you later.”