Miss Independent, Volumes 1 - 4

by Kiki Leach

  Seeing nothing in the pile of mail but junk for Maurice, she thought about leaving it on the table and calling him about it tomorrow, maybe asking him to come and pick it up when she wasn’t there – just in case he felt the need to bring his lapdog along for the occasion.

  The very idea of that woman stepping a single foot inside her house with him made her more sick to her stomach than she had been in seeing her hang all over him like a wet rag that she was certain needed to be wrung and slung.

  She needed to get the images of them together out of her head as soon as possible and knew the only way to do that was through a drink.

  Or ten if she could manage.

  As she headed for the kitchen, she stopped when she heard a chair sliding back and forth across the floor. Unsure of who it might be, and too skeptical to call out anyone’s name seeing as how well that had worked out for her the night before, she dropped the mail near the door and rushed over to her purse. Throwing her hand inside and wrapping her fingers around a small can of pepper spray, she eased over to the kitchen and lightly pushed back on the swinging door. What she saw between the small slither she allowed herself between the door and frame, wasn’t exactly expected.

  Sitting at the table was Nikki, sniffing back what Vanessa assumed to be tears while consuming an entire tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

  As soon as Vanessa pushed back on the door completely, Nikki turned to her with puffy red eyes and swollen cheeks. Hovering the spoon over the tub of ice cream, she thought for a few seconds of what to say that would lessen the obviousness of how upset she was.

  And then she pointed behind Vanessa and nodded.

  “Your stairs are broken.” She consumed more ice cream and continued staring at her.

  Vanessa strolled further into the kitchen and carelessly tossed her purse on the counter. “No shit.”

  “What do you think Alexis is going to say when she sees them tomorrow?”

  Vanessa sighed. “She won’t. I convinced her before I left work tonight to have the party at her house instead.” She moved over to the table and rested her hands on the back of the chair adjacent to where Nikki had been sitting. “What are you doing here tonight?" she asked. "Did William kick you out of his house or something?”

  Nikki gave Vanessa a cruel look and sniffed. “That’s not the reason I’m over here,” she answered, returning to her ice cream.

  “Is it the reason you’ve been crying?”

  “No,” she quickly shot back, though not very convincingly.

  Vanessa pulled the chair back and sat down, then snatched the spoon from Nikki’s hand and pointed it between her eyes. “Then why don’t you start by telling me why, hm?” She dipped the spoon into the ice cream and ate some for herself. And then she frowned, thinking. “Where has your mouth been in the last twenty-four hours?”

  “Not around William’s dick,” Nikki replied.

  “What about anyone else’s?”

  She arched her brows and quickly pried the spoon from Vanessa’s fingers, and dipped it back into the bucket. “I don’t want to go there with you tonight, V.”

  “You obviously wanted to go somewhere with me, otherwise why come home with tears in your eyes? As a matter of fact, I’m surprised to see you here at all without me asking first.”

  “I come by all the time without your knowledge, Vanessa.”

  “Okay, right, sure, yes, I guess that makes sense when you live with someone,” said Vanessa. She raised her hands and formed quotation marks with her fingers. “‘Live’. Because the entire point of having a roommate outside of college is living with someone you never see.”

  “Vanessa.” She was growing frustrated but was trying her best to hide it. “I came here tonight because I felt bad about yesterday in telling you about Mo and Melanie when I have no idea what’s going on. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t--”

  “Trying to throw myself into the Hudson or crying my eyes out before bed again after a few too many glasses of red wine? No. I managed to stop doing that a few weeks ago because I started waking up in weird places around the house. But drunk or sober, going to bed alone is always the most difficult. Especially because he liked to hold me when he slept, just to know that I was still there with him.” She stared down at the table, reminiscing. “But anyway…”

  “That’s when it hurts the most,” said Nikki. She licked the remaining ice cream from the spoon, not realizing until she tasted the salt that her own tears had mixed in with the cream. She quickly tried wiping her face and sat back. “It hurts the most when you expect them to be there only to turn over and realize that you’re sleeping in that bed alone again.”

  Vanessa instantly became suspicious of what her best friend was actually getting at and arched an eyebrow sky high. “Yeah… You know, I was being facetious before, but now you’ve got me hella curious.”

  “About what?”

  “About you and William. Are you two having problems?”

  “You would love to hear that, wouldn’t you?”

  “Not if it’s been making you like this, no.”

  Nikki wiped her face again and crazily shook her head back and forth. “William and I are fine. There’s a few adjustments being made with his daughter finally moving in for good, but other than that--”

  “So it’s been made official? Since when?”

  “Since yesterday when he got word from his attorney that he was granted full custody of her. He didn’t tell me about it until this afternoon because he wanted to make sure that she was okay with everything first, leaving her mother behind and only seeing her on the weekends and all of that. And it seems like she is. His ex. doesn’t seem to be taking it all that well though, from what he said.”

  “Wow,” Vanessa replied in a flat voice. “This whole thing seems like it’s going to be a hell of a lot of fun.”

  “It will be fun for him because he’ll have his daughter around full time now. But I’m not sure if I want to even want to continue on with the way things are between us.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s been a month and that girl still hates me, V.”

  “She’s supposed to hate you, you’re not her mother.”

  “And I’m not trying to be. I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be anyone’s mother, ever. And that means I don’t feel comfortable playing house.”

  “When you date a man with kids, Nik, especially one like William who was fighting to have his kid full time long before you even came into the picture, this is the kind of shit you have to expect.”

  “I’ve never dated a man with kids before,” she said. Vanessa made a face of disbelief, and then she remembered. “Kids that I actually saw and talked to that also knew who I was, I mean.”

  “Is this why you’re so weepy? Because you don’t want kids and he’s going to have his around 24/7 now?”

  “It might be part of it. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately and everything just seems to be catching up to me today.” She attempted a sincere smile, but Vanessa could see right through the façade. “By the way, I came by here this morning to see you about something and found Sheila instead. Did she tell you I was here?”

  “I haven’t spoken to her today which has been a hell of a relief. What did you want to see me about this morning?”

  “We can come back to that because the reason isn’t really all that important anymore. What I’m really curious to know is what she was doing here this morning instead of you and why? I almost called the police on her because I thought that she might’ve come in unwanted and had done something to you as a result of you trying to kick her ass back out.”

  “Well, to be honest,” Vanessa started, “she exists, which is equivalent to doing something but not enough to actually get her to permanently go away. Other than that, as you can see I’m fine, so the significant amount of damage caused to me is slim to nil.” She reached forward for more ice cream, sliding her finger down into the corner and pulling out a sign
ificant amount. “Her, maybe not so much after last night.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because she’s happily fucking Adrian as if Nathan isn't going to give a shit once he learns the truth,” she replied, almost too nonchalantly.

  Nikki almost choked on a few chocolate chips and pieces of dough, and whacked a hand over her chest. “What was that?”

  “You heard me. Now, I didn't actually choke when she first told me the news but I did get one hell of a laugh out of it.”

  "Why? Because you didn't believe her?"

  "No, because I didn't give a shit that it was happening. Or had happened. Or, whatever."

  “How did she react to you not caring about it?”

  “She was pissed off that I wasn’t pissed off. She wanted to get under my skin because I told her about Nathan coming to my office on the night of the reunion. Including the part about us almost fucking on top of my desk.”

  Nikki flew forward in her chair and threw her arms out on the table. “WHOA! What the hell actually went on here between you two last night?”

  “A long overdue truth session of sorts. She told me a lot of shit I didn’t need to hear, and I told her a lot of shit that she had no choice but to hear and agree to.”

  “Shit like what?”

  She sighed while spinning the spoon around the middle of the bucket and dipping out more ice cream. “She wanted to tell Nathan that she boned Adrian and I told her that it might not be such a good idea after the shit that happened here last night.”

  “What else happened here last night? How did the railing get broken on the staircase? I thought maybe Sheila might’ve done something but--”

  “Nathan came by,” Vanessa interrupted. “And long story short, he told me that the whole Adrian thing was in reaction to seeing me and Maurice having sex.”

  Her mouth fell wide open and her eyes stretched to the point of wiggling inside their sockets. “WHA-WHA-WHAT?!”

  “Yeah.” She picked up the spoon and dumped the spoon in the bucket, then fell back in her chair. “That was pretty much my reaction too, followed by a few plates being thrown at his stupid fat head. He probably thinks I was just trying to miss.”

  “And that’s how the staircase got broken?”

  “Yes and no. Mo came by here not long after that and they went Cage Fighter all in the damn foyer like two wild hyenas. I had to call the police and have both of their stupid asses arrested.”

  “Are they still there now?”

  “No. Mo got out this morning and Nathan just an hour or so ago.”

  Nikki leaned forward on the table, her face still in shock, her mouth still agape. “I can’t believe you didn’t call me as soon as all this shit went down, or even right after.”

  “I thought about it. I really did, but… I just couldn’t believe things had gotten so bad between them, Nik. You remember when we were all kids and they were tight as hell. Even when Nathan and I started dating, I didn’t think anything would ever be able to come between that shit. I mean, they had each other’s backs even more than we did.”

  She bobbed her head. “I remember.”

  “That’s why I was so surprised when Mo took my back after I told him about Nathan and Sheila. But seeing that shit disintegrate over the years like it has since then…” Vanessa rested her elbow on the back of her chair and sighed. “Before the shit hit the fan in the Hamptons and Nathan proved himself to be the ass I’ve always known he was, even when I loved him, I thought that when he shook hands with Maurice to form a truce, that there might have been a small part of him that actually meant it.”

  Nikki made a face. “Really?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t necessarily believe it for myself because he’s given me so many reasons over the years to know that he’s nothing but full of shit more often than not. But Maurice seemed to want that side of him to be true so badly. I feel like he wanted to go along with the flow, you know, go along to get along to keep the fighting from happening like it had been. But in truth, I can’t help but feel like he wanted to believe it at the time.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I think deep down beneath all of the bullshit and anger between them that he really missed Nathan as a friend. I’m not so sure about that now, but I was pretty sure of it before last night.” She got up from the chair and went to the cabinet for a pair of glasses. Reaching in the fridge, she pulled out a bottle of wine and poured some for both her and Nikki.

  “Would you even want them to be friends again?”

  “Hell no,” she said, handing her a glass. “But I’d take their relationship over whatever the hell is going on between him and Melanie any day of the damn week.” She sat back down and drank a few sips of wine. “Anyway, I know that it’ll never happen, not because of the fight but because Mo admitted to him that he was the one who spilled the affair to Page Six.”

  Nikki grabbed her glass and sank back in her chair. “He did?” Her voice piqued and she took a large gulp of wine. “What did Nathan say?”

  “He was pissed, obviously. But by then they were in handcuffs, so they couldn’t do much more damage to each other. Or my damn house.”

  Nikki wrapped her hands around her glass and stared down at the purple liquid as it sloshed around on its own.

  "Do you ever think that in spite of everything that’s happened, that you and Maurice will find your way back to each other again?"

  Vanessa side eyed her but answered the question anyway. "I hope so," she said. "But I don’t know for a fact. Why?"

  "Do you think you'll ever go back to Nathan?"

  "HALE no!" she said. "And what the fuck kind of twenty questions game is this?"

  "It's not a game of twenty questions, V, I was just...” She anxiously ran her fingers through her hair and scratched her scalp. “I was just curious about some things. To know if maybe I could've helped to do something to lessen the damage done between you and Maurice. And you and Nathan, instead of helping to cause more.”

  "What the hell are you talking about, Nik? As far as Nathan and I are concerned, we’re irreparable and I'm more than good with that -- hallelu. But Mo... What do you think you could've done to lessen the damage there?"

  "Maybe I could’ve suggested that his telling you the truth about Page Six would've been better than keeping his mouth shut about it.” She gulped back the rest of her wine then slammed the glass back down on the table and fretfully peeked over at Vanessa.

  Confused by what the hell was being said by her best friend and why, Vanessa sat down her glass as well and turned in her chair. "What?"

  She sucked in a large amount of air and blew it out as quick to get rid of the fear building up. "Maurice told me about Page Six when we were in the Hamptons. When he saw that reporter on the beach who got his original information, it shook something up inside of him and he was anxious to say something to you about it. I talked him out of it."

  A stumped Vanessa was at a cross between wanting to strangle Nikki with one hand. Or two.

  “Why the hell would you do something like that? As if we both didn’t have enough baggage already to deal with, you want to try adding to it by telling him lie to me about something that literally changed ALL of our lives overnight?”

  “I’m sorry, Vanessa,” she pleaded. “I thought if he said something that it would cause problems between the two of you that I felt you didn’t need.”

  “Obviously it caused a big fucking problem between us, Nicole, because we’re not together now.” She got up from the table and moved across the room, folding her arms and fuming.

  Guilt washed over Nikki as she watched her pacing back and forth while mumbling to herself and chewing down on her fingers, essentially running what looked to be a fresh manicure.

  “You said you thought you would find your way back to each other. My revelation shouldn’t have changed that.”

  “It doesn’t,” she snapped. She stopped pacing and leaned back on the counter. “I’m just so sick and fucking tir
ed of everyone lying to me about bullshit! If he had just told me what he had done, all of this shit could’ve been prevented. Every single fucking thing” – she closed her fist and began hitting it inside the palm of her other hand – “could’ve been prevented from happening as it did.”

  Nikki wrinkled her brows. “What are you getting at, V?”

  Vanessa waited a few moments before responding.

  “I know that he never went out of his way to humiliate me by exposing Nathan and Sheila. Getting at them was his goal and I just so happened to be an unfortunate casualty.” She started pacing again. “If he had just told me what he had done back then, and why, I’d still be hella pissed, don’t get me wrong. But if I had known just how far he was willing to go to have me, our relationship could’ve lasted a hell of a lot longer than what it had. I would’ve put in the effort to make things work. I wouldn’t have run off scared while trying to find what I wanted in him, with someone else that I knew deep down would never allow me to have it.”

  Nikki slightly lifted her shoulders, shrugging. “I know that you’re referring to Adrian, but what’s the big deal about it now that he’s apparently sleeping with Sheila?”

  “Because I was sleeping with him first.” She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes while turning away from Nikki. “Which resulted in me getting pregnant.”

  Every muscle in Nicole’s body fell limp. She dropped her hands down either side of the chair and stared up at Vanessa, whose face was now flooded with tears. “Aye Dios Mio,” she said under her breath. “When did this happen?”

  “I found out right before he left town. And when he was gone, I miscarried.”

  “Oh Vanessa.” She got up from her chair and raced across the room to hug her friend. As she took her in her arms, Vanessa began sobbing quietly against her shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I was embarrassed,” she said, pulling away. She wiped her face and leaned back. “I had made up this entire life for us together in my head, only to realize that it would forever remain in my head. I wasn’t exactly looking to get pregnant by him, but when it happened, I wasn’t exactly hating it. But then I lost the baby and my gyno said it was due to stress. The only other person who knew about it before I told Mo on the night we split, is Sheila. Well, at least until she opened her big fat mouth and told Nathan.”