Miss Independent, Volumes 1 - 4

by Kiki Leach

  “What is it, girl?”

  She waited and sucked in air before speaking again.

  “You know that cover story of me, Nathan and Sheila from back in high school?”

  “The reason your life became more important to the public than it ever should’ve been? Yes.”

  “Well…” She leaned her head. “Maurice was sort of the one responsible for that. He wanted to hurt Nathan and Sheila just as badly as they hurt me and so he went to Page Six and gave a story about them.”

  Alexis clasped her hands together and pressed her chin on top of them, staring out of the window behind her daughter. “So the love of your life is the one responsible for turning it into the spectacle it’s become today. Is that what you’re telling me?”

  “In a nutshell.”

  “And you’re not able to forgive him for it.”

  “He broke a trust with me, Mother. I still love him with every part of my soul…” She had to stop and catch her breath as the emotion of what he truly meant began to overwhelm her. “But how can I be with him when I can’t even trust if what we have will continue to stay between us? How can I lie next to him every night without wondering if something I say to him will be used against me down the line if he decides that being with me is too much?”

  “Baby girl,” she said. “If after all these years that man is still willing to put up with you and all the things you’ve done, he ain’t goin’ nowhere. Period.”

  “Except he did!” she hollered. “The night we got into that huge fight and I told him to get out, he left! He left with no real intention of ever coming back--”

  “Everybody hits a breaking point, baby, but that doesn’t mean he was never coming back. Most times you are even too much for me to take, and that’s saying a lot considering I gave birth to you.” Alexis got up from the chair and moved around the desk to stand in front of her daughter. She leaned back and folded her arms. “Do you believe in your heart of hearts, even in the light of Page Six, that Maurice Livingston would actually go out of his way to ever sell you out or violate your trust for his own gain or anyone else’s?”

  “No,” she said. “No! But I’m afraid. Nathan made me afraid. Adrian made me afraid. I don’t want to be afraid with Maurice.”

  “Then don’t be,” replied Alexis.

  “Easier said than done.”

  “You two were friends first, Vanessa. Better friends than any two people I’ve ever seen, even now. How hard can it be to find your way back to that first?” She grabbed either side of Vanessa’s face and bent forward to kiss her directly in the center of her forehead. “I want you to be happy. And I know that you want it for yourself just as much. Don’t let a mistake get in the way of something you know damn well you deserve. This man is nothing like your father. He is nothing like Nathan, thank God. And he’s nothing like Adrian. Don’t wait too long to see him for the blessing he truly is.” She pat Vanessa on the face then went to the door, but stopped and turned back to her. “By the way, wish your sister a Happy Birthday and be at the house by eight o’clock tonight. That friend of yours isn’t invited.”

  “Mother.”

  “My house,” she said upon exit. “My house.”

  Vanessa rolled closer to her desk and rested her elbows at the edge. Her mother was right, she and Maurice were friends first, the best of friends. Losing even that much of him felt as if she had lost too much of herself.

  It was now or never, she thought. I can’t waste any more time in finally getting back what’s rightfully mine.

  Part Twenty-Nine

  After arriving at the Avian in Midtown, Sheila spotted Adrian sitting behind a menu in the corner of the restaurant and rushed over without the help of an overly eager hostess who was more enthusiastic about getting a good look at Adrian again as opposed to actually showing Sheila to their table.

  When Adrian saw her coming forward on her own, he smiled and stood up from his chair. Dropping his menu to the table and draping one hand around her waist to give her a hug, she wrapped both hands around him and pressed her entire face into his neck, drawing in his natural male scent. It made her slightly dizzy but in a way that she felt if she had fallen over from it, she would’ve landed on a pile of pillows instead of the concrete beneath their feet.

  He reached around to push her chair in and as they both sat, couldn’t stop staring into one another’s eyes.

  “Hi,” he said first.

  “Hi. I’m sorry I’m so late. I had to run a few errands around the city, and some took longer than others.”

  “I hope one of those errands included informing your wedding planner that you wouldn’t be in need of her planning any longer,” he said.

  She laughed, feigning ignorance. “What?”

  “Because you broke things off with Nathan and therefore wouldn’t need her services.” Adrian stared down at her hand. “You must have done something, because you’re no longer wearing that ring.”

  “Oh.” She wrapped her fingers around the base of her ring finger and fell back in her chair.

  “Mm.” From the guilt-ridden look on her face, Adrian could see plain as day that Sheila had yet to end anything, with anyone. He removed his napkin from his lap and slammed it down on top of the table. “So he’s still clueless about us.”

  “I had planned to tell him last night, but…” She eyed every patron in the restaurant before turning back to a very pissed off Adrian. “I went to have my ring appraised. And the jeweler told me that it had been purchased in Manhattan long before Nathan and I ever moved to California together.”

  “Then he had been planning to propose to you before the move?”

  “No.” She rubbed her thumb back and forth across the finger. “He bought that ring with the intention to give it to Vanessa. My guess is that he was hoping to use it as a token of his affection and a way to get her back after screwing her over by screwing me. Obviously, he never got the chance because I became the lucky winner of that Cracker Jack box piece of shit.”

  “Where is the ring now?”

  “Somewhere inside my purse. I had planned to confront Nathan about it when I got back to the hotel, but we started arguing about other things, and then--” She stopped and looked into his eyes. They drew her in in a way that Nathan’s never could. She wanted to tell him what she had done, and why. She wanted to be honest with him because she felt he deserved that much. But she couldn’t risk losing him so soon, if at all.

  She couldn’t.

  “Do you ever plan on telling him what you know about the ring?” he asked. “Because if you ever needed an excuse to leave that son of a bitch, finding out the ring that you thought belonged only to you was initially meant for someone else--”

  “It’s not that simple,” she said. “I wish it were but it’s not.”

  “Why isn’t it?”

  “He came back from jail last night with an entirely new perspective. He wants us to start over and make things right.”

  “Is that what you want, Sheila? Someone who’s only going to treat you well when shit falls in his lap and he thinks he needs someone at his side to help clean it off? Or someone willing to treat you well every day of the damn week?”

  “I’d prefer every day of the damn week,” she said with a smile.

  “Then you need to let him know that.” He placed his hand on the table. She looked down and placed her hand inside. “Look,” he said, caressing the back of her hand, “I have two tickets to Nikki’s ‘Wicked’ opening night party that’s taking place at Bar Nineteen next week. A friend of mine is doing the lighting and some other stage work for it. I’d like to take you with me as my date to make this official. But I don’t want you on my arm as someone else’s fiancée. I want it to be the first time we step out together, away from a bed and enjoy our company together. Right side up.”

  She laughed. “Okay. I’ll call him up right now and tell him that I want to meet him for an early dinner later, or maybe coffee instead.” She reached into her purse for he
r cell and dialed. “Either way, it’ll be public so that he can’t scream too loudly.”

  Standing directly outside his office building, Nathan snatched his phone from his pocket and answered on the second ring.

  “Sheil’s?” he asked, recognizing the first few digits. “Is something wrong?”

  “No.” She looked up at Adrian. “Why, is something wrong with you?”

  “Well, Mr. Gallagher suspended me from work, so there really wasn’t any point in me coming in today.”

  She cringed. “Eesh. Did he see the paper?”

  “The entire office saw the paper,” he said. “Eddie tried to diffuse the situation before I got here this morning as much as he could because the old man wanted to outright fire my ass. But I’ve got leave for two weeks – unpaid.”

  “You might be suspended, but at least you still get to keep your job. And maybe next time you’ll think about what you’re doing before you decide to show up places unwanted again.”

  “I got it, alright?” he said. “I got it. Now what’s up? Is something going on because you don’t ever call during the day unless you need something or worse.”

  “I just need to talk to you about a few things.”

  “We can talk tonight back in the room.”

  “I’d, um… I’d rather do it someplace outside of the hotel, like at The Bean?”

  He became suspicious when her tone of voice turned serious, and frowned. “Any particular reason why?”

  “Nathan, please just meet me at The Bean in about” – she grabbed Adrian’s wrist and stared down at the time on his watch – “an hour.”

  “Now,” mouthed Adrian.

  Sheila grinned. “Now might actually be better. I’ll explain it all when we see each other. Just do this for me, please.”

  When her seriousness turned to desperation, he nodded. “Alright, sure. I’ll be there.”

  “Thank you. Bye.”

  She sat her phone down next to her plate. Adrian raised his hands and began clapping in slow motion.

  “Step one,” he said. “Step two is actually going through with telling him the truth.”

  “The truth, right. Which will be just as easy as it sounds.”

  It was in that moment Sheila wanted to make a run for it across the nearest border.

  Part Thirty

  Nikki and Vanessa arrived at the Manhattan B&G about fifteen minutes after their official reservation was meant to take place and as a result, were forced to wait at the bar for the next available table. After plopping their purses on top of the counter and sliding on top of the stools, while doing all they could in the meantime to keep from showing everyone within the entire restaurant the color of their underwear, they grabbed a couple of menus and eyed the afternoon specials.

  Vanessa was immediately unenthused with just about every meal that she saw.

  “None of this really looks appetizing enough to stick around for.”

  “You’re the one who decided on this place,” said Nikki.

  “And you’re the one who agreed to it.”

  When a woman a few feet away started cackling extremely loudly, both women spun around on their stools to get a good look at her, though they weren’t exactly sure where she was sitting.

  It was in the middle of all that searching when they both saw Melanie. Nikki spotted her first.

  “Don’t look now, but...” She pointed.

  Vanessa followed the direction and soured the moment her eyes landed on Melanie’s face. “Blech. I’m surprised she’s not here with Maurice and trying to sit on his lap. Or his face.”

  They kept their eyes on Melanie as a long legged red headed woman with electric green eyes joined her, appearing to have returned from the restroom, Nikki quickly spun back around to the bar and allowed her head to fall. “Oh shit,” she said under her breath. She could feel every drop of color and expression draining from her face the longer they sat there.

  Vanessa peeked over at her and bumped her on the arm. “What the fuck is it?” she asked. “Do you know that woman?”

  “What?”

  “Do you know her? Because you act like you saw a damn ghost when she came out and sat down in front of Melanie.”

  “No, I just…” She reached for a glass of water provided for her and quickly gulped down every drop. Then she grabbed Vanessa’s glass and gulped that water as well. “She just looked familiar to me, that’s all.”

  “Nik,” said Vanessa, panicking. “Are you sure you don’t know who that woman in a more personal sense? I mean hell, she’s starting to look familiar to me, but damn if I can’t place her anywhere.”

  Nikki peeked over her shoulder again and squint while staring in their direction.

  She recognized the woman alright. Though the last time she had seen her, Nikki was lying on her back while that same woman, who she remembered calling Dr. Shaffer after waking up on a gurney in a cage of fog, had just finished administering the abortion of Oscar’s child.

  “No. I’m sure I don’t know her,” she said, turning back to the bar and placing her hands in front of her to keep them from shaking.

  There are just some faces you never forget. For Nikki, Jill’s Schaffer’s face would be the ghost that forever haunted her daymares, her past life and mistakes, and if she was as close to Melanie as it seemed from where they sat, her future wasn’t looking all that bright either.

  Part Thirty-One

  Nathan was surprised to see Sheila already waiting for him at The Bean with a cup of coffee sitting in front of his empty chair. He eyed the shop and noticed only a handful of other people around, including the cashier, then pulled the chair back from beneath the table and sat down

  Sheila was nervous as hell. Her palms were sweating, she could hear the sound of her heartbeat inside her ears and her stomach felt like it had already fallen out of her body and hit the floor.

  “Hi,” she said to him.

  “Hey.” He remained suspicious.

  “I ordered you a cup of coffee.”

  He looked down at the mug again and widened his eyes. “I can see that. What’s going on Sheila – why did you want to meet here?”

  “Um.” She cleared her throat and placed her arms on the table. “Last night--”

  “Was pretty damn good, right?”

  “No. I mean, yes. I mean.” She shut her eyes and swallowed, trying to think of how to properly form her words. “It was fine for what it was?”

  Nathan picked up his mug and made a face, confused. “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “It means that what happened last night was a good way to say goodbye.”

  He drank back the coffee, then sat the mug down and shook his head. “I’m not following.”

  “Nathan. You were gone away for a month. Four weeks, that is thirty days of me not hearing from you, you not returning my calls and then you showing back up and getting your ass arrested on the same night, being inside a house”

  “I should’ve never been inside in the first damn place, yeah I know.”

  “A lot of things changed while you were gone,” she said. “I changed. You coming back sort of messes all of that up for me.”

  “I’m sorry to be such a burden in your life,” he told her.

  “You’re not a burden. You’re someone I loved and wanted to marry and had planned to spend my entire life with, good or bad, I had accepted it because I accepted you and us and this a long ass time ago. But I accepted it on the condition, with the belief that things would finally get better between us. That things would finally change. That you would finally love me just as much as I love you.”

  “Sheila, last night gave me a chance to think. Gave me a new perspective on a lot of things”

  “It’s a shame that it took you getting beat in the head to finally realize how much you had actually fucked up.”

  Nathan sat back in his chair and glared at her. “You wanna be with somebody else,” he said.

  It wasn’t even a question, it was a matt
er of fact statement. He could look into her eyes and tell that it was over for them the minute he sat down, and there was no going back to what they had or what she had long hoped they could become.

  She reached inside her purse to pull out her engagement ring and placed it on the table.

  Nathan’s eyes traveled down to it and he nodded. “Still doesn’t fit?”

  “No. But it was never meant to, was it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I had it appraised last night and found out that you bought this ring six years ago, which means that it was never meant to be on my finger.”

  He placed his finger in the center of the ring and spun it around until the diamond faced her.

  “You don’t have anything to say about that?”

  “What can I say, Sheila? I’m sorry?”

  His refusal to deny what she had told him, even now, even as she was breaking things off, determined to be with another man, still cut her deep. She didn’t know what was worse, his continued carelessness or the fact that everything she had ever feared about him, and them was truer than even she could have ever imagined.

  “No. I don’t need your apologies, not anymore. Save those for the next woman you choose to destroy.”

  “I never meant to destroy you,” he said.

  “I’m sure of it.”

  “I never meant…” He paused to think. “I do love you, Sheila.”

  “It’s the way you show it, Nathan, that’s the problem.”

  “I can do better,” he said. “Be better about it.”

  “It’s too late for me. I’ve already had a taste of something better, something sweeter. I don’t need to spend another five years waiting for you to try and achieve that”

  “Adrian,” he said.

  Sheila leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. She reached for her mug and turned to look out of the window.

  “I saw the way that muthafucka looked at you when we were at the Hamptons.”