Of Body And Soul

by L. J. Valentine

Fall and its glory lasted another few weeks. Andrea took day excursions over the Rip Van Winkle Bridge and set her easel up in the valley’s morning mist. She didn't wait for the landscape to appear before the mist lifted, but painted the landscape on the canvas, making it fit what was in mind’s eye.

  The days were long and exhausting but she had to make every minute count in order to capture this God-given picture.

  She had just pulled into the garage after one of her excursions when she heard the phone ringing. She dropped her easel and paint case in a heap and ran to answer it.

  "You're finally home," said a cheery voice.

  "Grayson. It must be ESP. I just got back from the mountains and I promised myself I'd give you a buzz tonight. I have something to discuss with you."

  "What's the problem, dear? You seem anxious."

  "I had hoped you'd be here by now, but I guess it's impossible now that your season has started. Your B & B must be in full swing."

  "It is my dear. I never dreamed it would do so well. By the way, you have never asked me what I named it."

  "Well?" she said with a snicker, "what did you name it?"

  "Le Wyndemere del Sol."

  Goose bumps ran across Andrea's arms. "Why Wyndemere? she whispered.

  "I knew you loved to go to Windham as much as I did, and I thought it would be nice for you and me to have something from our past."

  "You won't believe this, but Kurt and I spent a long weekend at the Wyndemere Inn, just two weeks ago.”

  "Then you're pleased?"

  "Oh, yes, Grayson, I am. I can't wait to see it."

  "Now, what's troubling, you dear?"

  "You know how desperately I want children. And, do you remember me telling you how upset Kurt got every time I mention it?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, I don't know what to do about it."

  "Try talking to him again. You can't harbor this much longer. You must bring your feelings out in the open."

  "I know, but he walks away from me when I bring it up."

  “Have you talked to Emily about it?"

  "Yes, I have."

  "And?"

  "Well, she finally told me their parents were abusive, especially to Kurt. Emily remembers Kurt saying, he would never have children. Even when he was a small child he’d say it. Emily thought he'd get over it.”

  "Oh, the poor man. Has Kurt gotten any professional help?"

  "He did as a boy, but none as an adult."

  "Why don't you talk to him about seeing a doctor?"

  "Emily said she tried to talk with him before our marriage, but he wouldn't listen to anything she had to say. He told her he'd never have children, and that was that."

  "Had you known this before you married him?"

  "No, I didn't. He told me he'd like to wait a few years. He never said he didn’t want children."

  “Do you love him, Andrea?"

  "More than anything in the world."

  "Then forget about having children. Take my advice if you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him."

  "I know once I become pregnant, he'll come around."

  "Andrea, listen to yourself. You sound like an immature schoolgirl. You know as well as I do, if this is not settled before you get pregnant, you'll be creating grief for yourself, grief for the child, and grief for Kurt. Stop and think."

  "I have given this a lot of thought and I know, deep down I know he'll come around. He loves me, Grayson. His eyes tell me every day; his body every night."

  "Then why jeopardize what you both have?"

  "Because I definitely want a family," she said.

  "Please, dear, talk to him again."

  "I’ll try."

  "In the meantime, be careful, Andrea. Don't lose control and forget."

  "I won't."

  "Is that a promise?"

  "As much of a promise as I can make. I love you, Grayson. Thanks for listening."

  "Remember, dear, I'm always here for you. In my heart I know whatever decision you make will be the right one."

  "Thank you for the confidence. I'm going to need it. Goodnight, Grayson."

  "Goodnight, my dear, and God bless you."

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Andrea’s trips to the valley stopped when a colorful autumn turned into a gray winter of snow and ice. She hadn't faced Kurt with their problem and Kurt hadn't talked to her about it either. Right after Christmas, she thought.

  Kurt stood at the window, watching a dazzling white blur of snow fall heavily from the sky. "Darling, do you want to go skiing in Vail for the holidays?" he asked, walking over to where she sat in front of the blazing fireplace thumbing through Vogue.

  "No, I don't think so. I can’t seem to shake this flu bug. I don't want to get there and be sick all the time we’re there."

  "That's fine with me. I would just as soon stay home and have a family Christmas with Em and Michael and a few of our close friends. Do you think you'll be up to it?"

  “For sure. I only wish Grayson could be with us. December is my favorite month. I love all the excitement around the holidays. And this will be our first Christmas as a married couple." She kissed him and pulled him down to the floor to lie beside her. "Make love to me now," she said in a husky voice.

  The month of December proved to be as exciting as she had predicted. They shopped together for Christmas presents and they decorated the house.

  "When are we going to get the tree?" she asked, as she wrapped pine garland around the banister.

  “How about next weekend?" he answered, helping her finish the banister. "That looks great. Are we putting lights around the greens?"

  "Yes, and white lace bows and baby's breath."

  "We bought enough decorations to decorate two houses," he said, stepping around boxes and bags.

  "That's what you think. Wait until it's all done. It will look like a page from Hans Christian Anderson."

  He looked at her and saw a childish sparkle in her eyes.

  "I've never had this much fun preparing for the holiday," he said to himself.

  "Did you say something to me, darling?"

  "No, I was just thinking out loud." My earliest memory of my father was when he came home from the office and headed straight for the liquor cabinet. It was his nightly ritual. He'd down a few before dinner and then come to the dinner table with a glass in his hand. The damn thing was never empty. After dinner he'd get down to some serious drinking and then the demon appeared.

  I’d grab Em. We’d run and hide. Hide anywhere we could find. Mom would scream profanities at my father and then lock herself in the bedroom.

  My father would bang on the bedroom door and shout obscenities at our mother until she opened the door to him. Then you'd hear the crack of a slap, the rocking of their bed and groans of satisfaction. The damnable thing about it all was no one ever mentioned anything ever happened. It was like a normal family activity. Something every family did. I must stop thinking about the past. I need to think of the present.

  He looked around the room; it had an ethereal quality which gave him an instant sense of peace.

  "Andrea, aren't you tired yet? You've been going non‑stop since early this morning."

  "I know, but I want to get everything done so we can enjoy it sooner."

  "Are you sure you're okay? You look a little green around the gills." He laughed as he pulled her close to him and gave her a huge hug.

  "I feel fine now, but this morning I didn't feel well at all. I must still have that bug."

  "If you're not feeling better tomorrow, please call the doctor."

  "I will. You know these flu bugs just seem to hang on forever."

  The next morning, tension gripped her as she left the bathroom for the third time. "What in God's name is wrong with me?" she said to the empty room. “Kurt is right. I'll call Doctor Mitchell and she'll give me an antibiotic or something.”

  "How long have you felt like this?" Doctor Mitchell asked her voice quiet and
tranquil.

  "Oh, I don't know, a month, maybe two."

  "You mean to tell me you've been ill for two months and haven't sought treatment?" she asked checking Andrea's blood pressure and pulse.

  "Well, with the holidays coming up, I just didn't want to take the time. Anyway, flu bugs take forever to leave you."

  "Oh, I didn't realize you had a Ph.D. in medicine. What makes you think it's a flu bug?"

  “I'm totally exhausted and I'm nauseated."

  "And you say this has been going on for about two months now?"

  "Yes. It isn't anything serious, is it, Doctor Mitchell? It's only the flu bug, right?"

  Doctor Mitchell looked at Andrea in total surprise. "Andrea, how old are you now?" she asked.

  "Thirty-five. Why? What does my age have to do with it?

  "Well, I think congratulations are in order. Let me do a test to confirm my diagnosis, but I think you're going to have a baby. Merry Christmas."

  She reached over to Andrea and hugged her.

  Andrea looked at the doctor and took in a quick breath of utter astonishment. She was wholly taken aback. A great exultation filled her chest to bursting, "How can this be?" she asked. "We've been extremely careful."

  "Not careful enough, by the looks of things. What's the matter, Andrea? Don't you want this child?"

  "I want this baby with my whole heart and soul. I couldn't be happier."

  "Then why do your eyes tell me something different?"

  "I don't know if Kurt will welcome the news."

  “What do you mean? When I met Kurt at the Fourth of July celebration, I thought he was very personable and very attentive to you. We talked for almost an hour.” Dr. Mitchell paused. “He loves you. I saw him with you.” Again she paused. "What's the problem? Doesn't he want children?"

  "He said he does, but he wanted to wait a few years before we started our family. But I guess now is as good a time as any." Andrea smiled. "I couldn't be happier and I know, once Kurt finds out he's going to be a Daddy, he'll be happy also."

  "I have a wonderful obstetrician I'd like you to see. Doctor Kalic specializes in pregnancies of women your age. You’ll have to get on an exercise program. Although by the looks of you, you must already be on one."

  "Yes, I am."

  "Well, you'll need pre-natal vitamins and something to help you with your morning sick-ness. Do you have time to see her today, if she has an opening?"

  "Yes, that would be great while I'm already in the city. Morning sickness." She smiled smugly. Doesn't that sound wonderful, she thought, as she watched her physician place the call.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  When Andrea entered Doctor Kalic's office, she immediately noticed the time someone had taken to make the office festive and warm. Christmas lights and garlands had been draped around all the door frames. In one corner of the room stood a mid-sized tree, decorated with rattles, bibs, pink and blue bows, wooden soldiers, and Disney characters. What a great idea! she thought.

  She walked over to the tree and touched the rattles.

  "Clever, isn't it?" said a friendly voice from behind the desk.

  "Yes, it is. Did you do this?"

  "I'd like to take the credit, but Doctor Kalic is responsible for all the decorations."

  "Well, she did a wonderful job."

  The receptionist smiled, "Yes, she did. Are you here from Dr. Mitchell's office?"

  "Yes. I'm Andrea Purcell."

  "Why don't you take a seat? Doctor Kalic will be with you shortly." The woman showed her to a chair next to the tree. She waited only a few minutes before a beautiful woman, about her age, with short curly blonde hair and a good figure, entered the room and extended her hand.

  "Mrs. Purcell. Doctor Kalic. Please come in." She smiled a smile that invited a grin back. "So tell me what’s been going on with you for the last few months and then we'll examine you."

  Andrea proceeded to tell her everything.

  "Well, you sound as if you are about two and a half, possibly three months pregnant.

  Does that sound right to you?"

  Andrea smiled, feeling the heat flood her cheeks as she remembered the weekend in Windham and their love making by the lake. "Yes, I guess so."

  Dr. Kalic's examination, gentle and quick, reassured Andrea of the doctor’s kindness and caring.

  "If you have any vacation plans in June, I think you'd better cancel them," she said, patting Andrea’s knee.

  Andrea sat and cried. Dr. Kalic smiled accustomed to such emotions. "You're in great shape, and once the morning sickness subsides your pregnancy will be a breeze. Let's look forward to a due date of June fifth. I'd like to see you in a month, and every month thereafter. I also would like your husband to come with you, if at all possible."

  "I'm sure he’d like to meet you. Thank you for seeing me so soon. Have a wonderful holiday." Andrea glowed with happiness as she left the office. Magic bubbles of anticipation and excitement bounced within her like the street lights bounced their glimmer off the glistening snow.

  The drive home was a blur as she wrapped herself in happiness, sweeping aside the nagging question of Kurt’s reaction to her news. She hoped Kurt would also be pleased. It would take awhile, but he’d come around. After all, he is the father, she thought confidently.

  "What an exciting time to find out I’m pregnant," she said, as she left the highway and turned down her street. Night swooped over the village, turning it into a fairyland. New snow, puffy and clean, reflected the colored lights that adorned the houses and shed a soft light over yards and shrubbery, making the neighborhood warm and inviting.

  As she slowly drove past the homes she peered into the windows stealing glimpses of the decorated Christmas trees shining in the front windows. Snowmen and ice sculptures stood sentry in several yards, while lighted nativity scenes graced an equal number of homes.

  Andrea drove through the winter wonderland uttering a prayer of thanks for all the good fortune the Lord had bestowed upon her.

  When she approached home, she noticed all of the lights had been turned on. She was surprised Kurt had gotten home early. With his new job, he was usually late.

  She smiled with delight when she saw the tree standing in front of the living room window. When she turned into the driveway, she saw Kurt look out. She honked the horn and waved.

  He ran out to help her out of the car. "Where have you been? I began to worry." He took her arm, "As you can see, I haven't had time to shovel."

  "I decided to take your advice and go see Doctor Mitchell," Andrea said, giving him a quick hug and a kiss.

  "It can't be anything serious. You look happy and content. Do I need an invitation to share this contentment?" He smiled and kissed her softly.

  She ignored the question sniffing the air. "Hmm, something smells delicious. What's for supper?"

  "Why don't you find out for yourself," he said, and gave her a slap on her behind.

  Andrea kicked off her boots and turned toward the kitchen, stopping abruptly in the dining room doorway. She glanced around and saw candles blazing everywhere. Kurt had set the dining room table with their best lace table cloth, china, crystal, silver: the works.

  "What's going on?" She walked over to the table and caressed the arrangement of white poinsettias sitting among branches of Douglas Fir and sprigs of holly. A soft smile tugged at her lips as Barbra sang ‘White Christmas’. What a perfect setting for my news, she thought.

  "Andrea, come in here," Kurt called from the living room.

  As she turned toward his voice, the lights went out. She felt her way into the living room. "Kurt, where are you?"

  "I'm here, Darling." He took her hand as he switched on the tree lights. A blaze of miniature white lights adorned a tree at least ten feet high. Andrea took a quick breath of utter astonishment and felt the holiday tingle. "Oh, Kurt, the tree is beautiful." She walked over to it as the branches reached out to her. She grazed the branches and leaned into the tree to enjoyed the fresh s
cent of the Douglas Fir.

  Kurt leaned down and kissed her velvety skin. “You smell like wild flowers, mixed with the scent of Christmas.. The combination is driving me mad."

  He took her hand and led her upstairs and down the hall to their bedroom. The impact of his gaze stunned her. He pulled her into his arms and within moments, between feather-like kisses, tantalizing touches, and clothes stripped away, they were as they should be.

  Hours later Kurt nudged Andrea gently. "Ready for some dinner?" he whispered.

  She sighed. "In a minute."

  He left her warm comfort and headed for the shower. Turning, he held out his hand. “Come shower with me."

  "I'll be there in a minute, Darling," she repeated. "Let me rest. You gave me a workout," she said, and dug herself deeper into the warmth of the comforter.

  He grinned down at her. "Come on, Tiger. Join me."

  She giggled, and covered her head.

  Kurt dried himself off and walked into the bedroom to see what had happened to Andrea. Gazing at her sleeping form, he smoothed her hair back away from her forehead, leaned down and kissed her tenderly. "Sleep, my darling." He'd let her sleep while he finished preparing dinner. He covered her shoulders with the comforter and left the room.

  Andrea woke with a start. She reached over for Kurt and felt an empty space. Night had arrived and there were enticing smells wafting up the stairs. She patted her stomach, visualizing this tiny body curled up inside her.

  She felt unconditional, pure love. She felt complete. "Next Christmas Santa will bring presents and put them under the tree for you," she said softly to her baby. She stretched, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Dragging her thoughts from the baby, she wrapped herself in her chenille robe and went in search of her husband.

  She found him in the kitchen, removing a pan from the oven. She watched from the doorway, admiring the muscles that rippled lightly across his shoulders. His buttocks were outlined in his tight faded jeans, the only clothing he wore. He turned in time to see her smile.

  "Hi, sleepyhead. It's about time you got up. I was ready to come up and bounce you out of bed," he said, setting the hot dish on the counter.

  "Kurt, you shouldn't work in the kitchen without a shirt," she said as she stroked his muscled arms and back.