The Secret Journal of Brett Colton

by Kay Lynn Mangum

  “Hey—Kathy, isn’t it?”

  I frowned at the stranger who stood in my path. “Yes, I’m Kathy.”

  The unknown but very cute blond guy in front of me grinned. “I’m Dallin.”

  “Hi.” I smiled shyly back, wondering what he could possibly want to talk to me about.

  Dallin continued to grin. “Hi. Hey, great job on the plays you did today.”

  A compliment? From a stranger? I stuttered out a “Thanks!” before he winked and left me standing there staring in shock at his nicely broad back as he walked out of the lunchroom.

  I didn’t have much time to be stunned over being stopped by a very cute someone I didn’t even know, because it happened again. This time, a few girls called out, “Hey, Juliet—good job!” And then a few other guys stopped me before I could finally sit down with my friends.

  “Being hounded by your public, Miss Superstar?” Mistie teased.

  Crystal turned to Mistie and sighed dramatically. “Just think, Mistie, we’ll be able to say we knew her when!”

  “Yeah—don’t forget us little people when you’re rich and famous!”

  “Oh, please—”

  A second later, both King Lear and Kent had swooped down to squeeze in on either side of me at our table.

  “Hey, Kath!” King Lear shocked me by casually draping an arm around my shoulders. “You were amazing as Cordelia, but I can’t get over that Romeo and Juliet scene. That was incredible!”

  “How come you didn’t choose to do the balcony scene instead? I would’ve helped you out.” Kent winked and grinned.

  “I don’t know—I just liked this scene better, I guess.”

  King Lear guffawed. “She’d rather ‘die’ than do an action scene with you!”

  Kent gave Lear a hard smile back. “Good one. You were almost funny. For once.”

  King Lear still had his arm around me. “You’re going to try out for the next play, aren’t you, Kath? We might do Barefoot in the Park—or Charlie’s Aunt. Something great, anyway.”

  I nodded at them both. “Yeah, I’ll probably try out.”

  “Make sure that you do!” Kent grinned one more time into my eyes before leaning over to poke Lear. “Well, we’ve got to go get ready, so we better take off now. See you backstage, Kath!” Kent gave me a slug in the arm and winked again.

  King Lear squeezed my shoulders before finally removing his arm from around my shoulders. And then both of them high-fived me before they left. After they were safely out of earshot, Mistie and Crystal leaned towards me, trying not to giggle out of control. Both had looked like they were about to explode from the moment Lear and Kent had sat down practically in my lap. I gave them each a kick under the table and leaned forward. “What is wrong with you guys?”

  “Granted, the whole lunchroom has been sneaking looks at you—especially the guys—but someone in particular was watching you with your drama honeys.” Crystal grinned.

  “Someone who wasn’t thrilled at all to see them hanging all over you!” Mistie added.

  “Hold on—” Crystal gasped. “Angela’s leaving the lunchroom. Alone! She doesn’t look very happy.” Her eyes grew larger as she gasped out, “Watch out—here he comes now!”

  I quickly glanced behind me and saw Jason moving in easy, fast strides with his crutches towards our table. I hardly had a second to marvel at how well and fast he could move on those things before he was there, balanced in front of us.

  “Hey, Kathy.” Jason smiled at me, only this time, his smile was different. Definitely different.

  “Hey, Jason.” I could barely hear my words over my heart pounding loudly, but I managed a smile back and wondered if mine looked any different to him.

  “Mind if I sit down?”

  Sit down? By me? Here? “Yes! I mean—no! No, of course I don’t mind—” Jason couldn’t be sitting at my table. With me. A popular jock like him, with someone like me? Even if I was his tutor. It just wasn’t done.

  “So—I just wanted to tell you how great you were in those plays.”

  “Thanks—I’m glad it wasn’t boring for you.”

  “Boring?” Jason shook his head in surprise. “No way. I liked it all. But your stuff was the best. How come you weren’t in more of them?”

  I decided not to mention my sordid drama past. “Just didn’t want to overload myself, since this stuff is all new to me.”

  “Well, you were incredible. Absolutely.”

  I had to hide a grin behind my milk carton as I watched Jason stare down any guy who approached our table. It was both amusing and empowering to watch Jason try to hold a stiff smile on his face as I was congratulated again and again—and even received a few winks. Jason was sitting so close to me that I could see just how blue his eyes were, without any flecks of green or yellow or any other color. Solid blue. In fact, they almost looked violet, they were so dark. An uncomfortable yet pleasant feeling tumbled around in my stomach, and I knew I couldn’t eat another mouthful.

  Both Mistie and Crystal were standing now, reaching for their trays and wishing me good luck before giving me a thumbs up behind Jason’s back.

  I waved a firm good-bye to their giggling faces before pushing my chair back. “I better go, too—I’ve got to get back into costume.”

  “You’re putting the plays on tonight, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, at seven.”

  Jason nodded. “Then I guess you probably won’t have time to tutor me tonight.”

  “No, not tonight,” I agreed.

  Jason nodded again. “That’s cool. I understand. But—I hope you’re planning on coming over tomorrow at four for tutoring.”

  I hesitated for a moment. “I don’t know. Three’s a crowd—”

  “Then I’ll make sure Emily leaves us alone,” Jason finished firmly.

  “I wasn’t thinking of Emily.”

  “She’s the only one you’d have to worry about.”

  Only Emily? I couldn’t help staring at Jason’s determined face. “You’re sure about that?”

  Jason nodded again. Firmly. “I’m sure. Absolutely.”

  I nodded slowly back. “If you can guarantee that, then I’ll be there.”

  “Then I’ll see you tomorrow at four.”

  “Okay, then.” I waited for Jason to get his crutches in order before I smiled. “Well, wish me luck.”

  Jason smiled back. “You don’t need luck. You’ve got talent. That’s better than luck.”

  I wasn’t sure if I believed I had that much talent, but I did know that I was liking getting up on that stage. It was hard to believe that I’d been so scared I was sick to my stomach that morning. Never mind the fact that I’d eaten my lunch with Jason in the school cafeteria in front of everyone, and at the same time, had been guaranteed our tutoring sessions wouldn’t be crashed anymore. By anyone. Amazing.

  ~

  The afternoon sets went even better than the morning ones. I couldn’t wait to tell my family at dinner.

  “So, Kathy, how’d your Shakespeare festival go today?” Dad brought up the subject seconds after Alex and Sam and their families had arrived and we’d all sat down to eat.

  “Not only did it go great, but I had so much fun—I can’t believe after tonight it’s going to be all over.”

  “Didn’t I tell you you’d love drama? I love it when I’m right!” Sam gloated while she fed spoonfuls of yogurt to Curtis. “Admit it, Kathy—I was right!”

  Alex grinned and poked me with his butter knife. “Don’t get too mad at her, Kathy. She’s allowed to gloat a little, since she’s hardly ever right about anything.” Everyone laughed at that—except Sam, of course—and looked in my direction, obviously waiting for me to slam her with some cutting remark to ruin her moment of triumph, but I just smiled at them all seated in a circle around the table with me. Nothing could ruin my good mood today.

  “I’m not mad. In fact, Sam, I guess I ought to thank you.”

  Sam’s fork froze halfway to her mouth before sh
e was able to choke out, “Thank me?”

  I grinned. “For making me sign up for drama. I’m so glad I’ve had the chance to be a part of it—and whatever else will be happening for the rest of the year. All the plays, the musical—everything. So thank you.” I didn’t think that mini speech of mine was worthy of silence, but nobody moved or spoke for a few strange, electric seconds.

  “Well, I guess congratulations are in order, Kathy.” Everybody jumped at Mom’s dry sounding voice, rising unusually loud out of the silence.

  I turned and frowned at her. “Congratulations?”

  Mom nodded back and grinned at everyone. “I think you’re officially the first, and most likely the only, person who’s ever been able to render Sam completely and utterly speechless!”

  ~

  When I stepped into the girls’ dressing room that night to get ready for our last performance, I wasn’t surprised to find all the girls from my drama class giggling and talking excitedly and loudly. And running around like headless chickens. What I wasn’t expecting, though, was to see what was resting on my dressing table. Smack in the middle and taking up a lot of space.

  Flowers. A big bouquet of all kinds and colors, including several red roses. And they smelled absolutely incredible. I was sure they were just from my family as I slipped the tiny envelope out of the flowers—but that was before I actually opened it and read the card:

  For the best Cordelia or Juliet I’ve ever seen. Break a leg—just don’t blow out your knee. Jason.

  ~

  I guess because we all knew this was our last chance to perform our Shakespeare festival, every scene went amazingly well. When the moment came for me to sink into unconsciousness as Juliet on my table bed, even with all the loud cheering and clapping, I felt sad knowing it was all over. After sweeping off the table to curtsy and bow for the applause, I was joined by the rest of the drama class for more bowing and curtsying before dragging Miss Goforth on stage to present her with roses. And then we were bombarded by our families and friends who rushed the stage to get to all of us.

  Alex got to me first, grabbing me off my feet in a huge bear hug to sweep me around in a circle, laughing and babbling about how great an actress I was.

  “Good grief! Put her down before you break one of her ribs!” Sam fought her way through the crowd and shoved Alex aside to hesitantly stand before me as if waiting for a cue.

  “Well, are you going to hug her or just stand there?” Alex gave her a nudge, and a second later I was hugging my sister and she was hugging me back. Sam pulled away first to look at me, holding me at arm’s length by the shoulders.

  “So—did I embarrass the Colton family name too much?”

  Sam gave me a little shake. “Really, Kathy! How can you say that?”

  “You thought I did okay, then?”

  “More than okay. When I think of where my acting talent was as a sophomore compared to you—I think I positively hate you!”

  I laughed and hugged her again. From Sam, that was a true compliment.

  While she was still hugging me, she whispered in my ear, “Is King Lear hot or what?!”

  “Sam!” I gasped.

  “I’m just looking—nothing more!” Sam insisted with a wide grin.

  “Okay—enough—it’s our turn now!” Mom and Dad finally made it to the stage, and after getting another huge, rib-cracking hug from Dad, I turned to Mom, who had teared up, blubbering about how proud she was of me, while she clutched me in a hug.

  “Hey, Kathy! Congratulations—you were amazing!”

  Jason. Jason’s voice! I couldn’t believe he was here—but of course, he’d brought the flowers. My heart pounded as I whirled to face him. He grinned at me while Emily clung to him around his crutches, looking up at me shyly. I gave Jason a brief smile and thanks before bending down to Emily’s level.

  “Hi, Emily! Did you enjoy the plays?”

  Emily nodded, her eyes all big and round.

  A moment later, Mom came up by my elbow and with a big, overly polite smile said, “Kathy, aren’t you going to introduce us to your—friend?”

  I turned from Jason to each family member in turn. “Mom—Dad—this is Jason. And his little sister, Emily.” I quickly made the rounds of introducing him to the rest of my family, alternately impressed and disgruntled that he didn’t seem as uncomfortable meeting them as I had been meeting his family that day in the hospital.

  “So you’re Jason, the student Kathy’s been tutoring?” Mom hadn’t stopped eyeing him as if she expected him to sprout horns and charge us all at any given moment.

  Jason smiled and nodded. “I’ve been really lucky to have Kathy for my tutor.”

  Mom arched her eyebrows. “I hope you’re allowing Kathy to truly tutor you in English during your hour together.”

  “Mom!” I gasped.

  But Jason didn’t let that fade his smile or his impressively polite behavior while Mom shushed me with a dark, hard look. “I really appreciate you and Mr. Colton allowing Kathy to come over to tutor me after school. I have physical therapy for my knee at one in the afternoons, so it’s really helped me a lot that Kathy’s been able to come over after school instead.”

  Mom relaxed slightly, but only slightly. “I see. Well, I’m glad Kathy’s been of help to you. It was very nice meeting you. And your sister, of course.”

  I could tell Mom was trying to dismiss him, but to Jason’s credit, he didn’t slink away. I turned to the rest of my family, who were watching the two of us with way too much interest and excused myself from them for a minute to talk to Jason and Emily alone.

  “Jason—I just wanted to say thank you for the flowers. You didn’t have to do that!”

  Jason smiled warmly at me. “I know, but I wanted to.”

  “Well—it was a wonderful surprise. Actually, more of a shock. But a good shock!”

  Jason kept on smiling. “I’m glad you liked them.”

  And I kept babbling idiotically. “I did—I do! Very much.”

  Emily reached up then and tugged on my gown. “Are you coming over to help Jason tomorrow, Kathy? ’Cause you didn’t come today.”

  I laughed and tugged her ponytail. “Yes, Emily. I’ll be back on schedule tomorrow.”

  Emily smiled broadly. “Good!”

  Jason nodded towards my family. “Your family’s waiting, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Okay—see you tomorrow, Jason. And thanks again—you know. For the flowers.”

  Jason smiled again. “You’re welcome.”

  After Jason hobbled out of the drama room with Emily waving at me happily beside him, Dad was the first to recover.

  “So that’s the young man you’ve been tutoring.” Dad poked me in the side with a teasing grin that I knew was just the beginning of my family’s torture.

  “He’s also the one who’s been filling Kathy’s head with a bunch of religious nonsense—”

  “Please, Mom—” I didn’t have to beg for long, because Dad stepped in to cut her off.

  “Honey, please. Let’s not ruin Kathy’s big moment, okay?” I don’t know who was more shocked at Dad’s interruption—Mom or me. Dad put his arm around Mom’s shoulders. “He looks like a nice enough young man. He could be a lot worse. Let’s just be grateful he isn’t.”

  Mom clamped her lips shut tight in a firm line while Sam stepped forward, rubbing her hands together. With glee. “Well, well, well. No wonder you went back to tutoring him. And no wonder you said yes in the first place! Did I say King Lear was a hottie? Because he’s cold compared to Jason the Studman!”

  “Sam, please!”

  “Just calling it as I see it. And believe me, there’s plenty to see!”

  “Stop!”

  “Eye candy for me, and great eye and arm candy for you!”

  I groaned. “I think I’m going to be sick—”

  Sam laughed. “I don’t know why you’re getting so upset! I thought you’d be thrilled to have such a hot guy after you.”

&n
bsp; After me? “Jason isn’t ‘after’ me. I’m just his English tutor.”

  Sam turned to Alex for support. “Oh, yeah? What do you think, Alex?”

  Alex grinned. “Speaking from experience, Kathy, it’s pretty obvious he thinks of you as more than just his English tutor.”

  What? This from Alex? “What makes you think that?”

  Alex laughed. “Why else would he make the effort to come watch this again? And on crutches, no less! Besides—I saw the way he looked at you. A guy doesn’t look at a girl who’s just his English tutor the way he was looking at you.”

  “What do you mean?” I demanded.

  Alex demonstrated how Jason had looked at me, horrifically exaggerated, making Jason out to be a wolf with his tongue lolling out to the side, ready to howl at the moon.

  “See? I told you he likes you!” Sam gasped, exploding with laughter.

  I decided to keep my mouth shut about the flowers. No need to upset Mom and wind up Alex and Sam higher than they already were. Especially since I knew I was nothing more than a tutor Jason enjoyed preaching religion to. A tutor he’d felt obligated to send flowers to in order to make sure she’d feel obligated to keep tutoring him. A tutor who’d just happened to impress him with her until now unknown acting talent. That was all. I couldn’t let myself hope for anything more than that.

  ~

  December 14

  Dear Kitty,

  I saw Jennifer on my way out of the exam room yesterday. I pretended not to hear her when she said, “Hi, Brett.” I drove around town forever before I came home. Mom would’ve screamed if she’d seen how fast I was driving. It’s kind of amazing I didn’t get in a wreck, because the road and everything looked so blurry.

  I feel like someone’s slugged me really hard. Not in the stomach. In the heart. And whatever it is that’s hit me hasn’t taken its fist out of my chest yet. I’ve been lying here staring at the walls all day, having all kinds of drugs pumped into me, but it hasn’t made anything change, or lessened the force of anything. I think this time was worse than hearing about it the first time around. Dr. Grenville’s face looked sad and old when he gave me the news.