by Sara Noble
Connor wasn’t on the verge of tears, but it did hurt to see her go. Maddie disappeared inside and soon they were pulling away back to the hotel. He reached into his wallet and pulled out five hundred dollars. This should keep the driver quiet. He wished he would've given some cash to all of the others who had threatened last night.
Patty was waiting for her son inside the lobby when he arrived back at the hotel. Her face looked aged and tired. He knew she hadn’t slept much that past weekend and it was all because of him. In a way he felt guilty, but his feelings for Maddie superseded it all. He had to focus on making himself happy for once.
“Hi, mom,” Connor said meekly as he approached, hands in his pockets and head hung low.
Patty half-smiled at her son. “Hi. I didn’t get to say goodbye to Maddie.”
“She thinks you hate her.”
Connor’s mother shook her head. “No, that’s not true. We talked about things the other day.”
“All you told her was that you didn’t like Makaela. You confused her by saying one thing and then later taking Lucas’ side. I’m confused, too.”
“I know,” Patty said with a sigh. “I just got scared, I guess. Should I call her?”
“Yes and you need to apologize. She really looks up to you, and you broke her heart.”
Patty’s tired eyes sagged even more. “Oh, Connor. I’m sorry. I’ll call and make things right.” She paused and studied her son’s expression. “You really love her, don’t you?”
Connor nodded. “I don’t know how it happened, but it did. We have a real connection, something that never existed with Makaela. I understand that it’s going to mess things up with the fans and Lucas thinks it’s bad for business, but I can’t ignore how I feel for Maddie.”
“Your boys aren’t too happy, either. Casey seems to be really agitated. Maybe you should talk with him in private and work things out.”
Connor sighed. “Yeah, he’s not making things any easier for me. You would think he’d be on my side.” It really bothered him that his best friend couldn’t support his choices, even if the majority of people in his life thought they were wrong.
Patty linked arms with him. “Come on, let’s tie up the loose ends here and get ready to head to Pocono.”
***
Connor attempted to sleep on the flight to Pennsylvania, but just couldn’t get the mixed thoughts out of his head. He was worried about everything, including how he was going to break the news to Makaela. He hadn’t talked to her since the night before, after he won the race. She had seemed completely oblivious to what was going on and that was a good thing. He wanted to talk to her in private and let it be just between him and her. He thought about giving her a call once he arrived in Pocono, just to see exactly when she would be coming back to the states. He didn’t feel right breaking up with her over the phone, even though he was losing precious time waiting for her to show up in person. She could see a photo or read a news blog by then.
The crew landed, checked into another hotel, and settled in for the night. It was late, but Connor decided to call Maddie first, since he had promised her he would. He missed her already, but he did notice the excitement of the past weekend begin to wind down. Maddie answered immediately and had been in good spirits, but was exhausted from the roller coaster weekend in Indy. She yawned a few times during their brief conversation, so Connor let her hang up to go to bed. He reminded himself to call her the next morning.
After he hesitated and changed his mind a few times, Connor finally dialed Makaela’s number to check on her travel plans. He realized that the more time that had gone by, the more he felt guilty about falling for another girl. Deep down inside he didn’t want to hurt Makaela, but he knew he couldn’t spend the rest of his life with her, either. It’s a crapshoot, he muttered under his breath as he counted the rings. Voicemail picked up instead. Hmm…weird, he thought, and hung up without leaving a message. He would worry about it again in the morning. Maybe sleeping on it would give him more insight into just exactly how he was going to break the news to her.
Connor was as worn out as an old shoe and decided it was time to go to bed. He needed to get back into the groove of things tomorrow and the rest would definitely help. He was hoping to have had sweet dreams about Maddie, and find an easy solution to his quandary, but he was disappointed when he woke up the next morning and didn’t remember a thing.
After a long morning of meetings with his team and crew chief, which appeared inept and monotonous, Connor finally had a chance to talk with Casey alone.
“Hey,” Connor called out and snagged the corner of his buddy’s t-shirt while he passed by, just as the rest of the team left the conference room and headed out for lunch. “Let’s talk.”
“Nah, I’ve got nothing to say.” Casey pulled away and backed up toward the doorway.
“What? You said the other night that you wanted to talk about what’s been going on.” Connor was annoyed with Casey’s equivocatory ways.
“Never mind. Forget about it.” Casey’s eyes darted wildly and avoided Connor’s eyes all together.
Connor raised a brow. “What’s your problem? You were all ready to let me have it that night in the limo. I heard that you went knocking on Maddie’s door looking for me the next morning. What made you change your tune?”
Casey’s face turned as scarlet as his hair. His whole head looked as if it were about to spew hot lava at any moment. “I said forget it! Let’s just get down to the garage and back to work.”
Connor had enough sense to let him go and watched as Casey jogged ahead of him. He decided it wasn’t worth pushing the subject and Casey had obviously cooled down since they had left that club.
Thinking about the fight with those guys at the club got the wheels turning in Connor’s brain. While he walked leisurely to the garage, he remembered the events of the previous two nights. Mostly he thought about afterward, in Maddie’s room, when she broke down in his arms and wept. She had seemed so fragile and exposed. There was no doubt she was worried about his commitment to her and the future that they may have together. He wanted to make things right with his racing family, yet he felt obligated to Maddie, as well.
A feeling of panic began to fill in his chest. The more he worried, the more he felt that things were spinning out of control. Everyone was going to get hurt if he continued the charade with his mistress. As much as he cared about Maddie, he knew deep down inside all of this was going to end in misery.
Suddenly, Connor found himself not knowing what to do anymore. Even last night he was sure he would break up with Makaela and start a life with Maddie. Now things weren’t so crystal clear. It was as if Maddie’s breakdown and the events of the past weekend were omens of what was to come.
“Ready, boss?” Jackson asked, interrupting Connor’s thoughts. He stood next to the car, his blonde hair hanging messily around the edges of his face. Wiry whiskers began to sprout on his jaw line and it was quite obvious he hadn’t shaved in a few days. Connor knew that Jackson was dedicated to the team and had been working hard for weeks without taking a day off. He would have to remember to reward him somehow later on down the road.
“Yeah, I guess.” Connor picked up a wrench and got to work under the hood.
Hours flew by while he concentrated on his car. Jackson entertained the crew by telling bogus stories of his various hook-ups with beautiful women at past Pocono races. Connor liked the way he exaggerated the looks of the women as if they were supermodels. One he described as almost Amazonian, with long black hair and legs that never quit. He said she had the biggest breasts he had ever seen and that they were real. Unfortunately for Jackson, everyone knew better than that.
“She was probably five-six, two hundred fifty pounds, with greasy brown hair and had a big mole above her lip!” joked Gonzo.
“Don’t forget the furry mustache to go with that mole!” laughed Mark. They all erupted in laughter, except the redheaded mechanic in the corner of the garage.
Jackson noticed the sullen Casey and decided to razz him. “You remember her don’t you, Case? She wanted us both at the same time!” He did a few nasty motions with his hips and pretended to spank an invisible female’s behind. Some of the guys laughed so hard at his depiction that tiny tears escaped their eyes, even Connor’s.
Casey looked up from reading a mechanic’s manual. He did not seemed amused, nor did it appear he was even listening to Jackson’s antics. “Nah, that’s your fantasy, not mine,” he mumbled and then glanced back down at his grease-smudged book. The laughter eased and things went back to being quiet.
Connor wondered if Casey was in that foul mood because of Maddie or if something else was bothering him. There was something about the way he avoided conversation and eye contact that seemed eerie. It was also odd that he was ignoring the rest of the bunch. Connor knew he would eventually find out what was troubling Casey, even if it meant he would have to corner him later and pry it out of him.
Casey continued to ignore everyone and only spoke if absolutely necessary. The air around the garage was thick with tension. Everyone knew some serious stuff was going down, yet no one had the guts to bring it up. That suited Connor just fine; he didn’t feel like explaining himself over and over again. He especially didn’t want to talk about it since he wasn’t so sure of his next move. His main priority was to get the car up and running the way they wanted it and to concentrate on winning the next race.
The sun went down late, but the guys continued to work drudgingly on the car. Patty and Jim brought food over and they paused briefly to scarf down fried chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner. Connor noticed that his cell phone was loaded with missed calls and text messages. Only a few of those were from Maddie, but none from Makaela. He decided he should probably let Maddie know he was working late and wouldn’t be able to call her until later, maybe not even until tomorrow. He typed a short message and sent it, and she replied back ‘okay, love you’. Seeing those words made Connor’s heart sink. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to type it back, not when he was lost in such emotional upset. He dialed Makaela’s number and, again, got only the voicemail. He actually was beginning to worry that something was wrong, as she always answered when he called.
When Connor was alone again in his hotel room later on that night, he slid off his sneakers and flopped down onto the bed. Even though the climate was cooler in Pocono than it was in Indy, he still had sweated up a storm while working that day. His body was covered in a salty, gray film and was badly in need of another shower. He yawned and pulled off his dirty clothes. The warm water and soap washed away the grime, helping him feel a bit better, but didn’t leave him feeling completely free of the anguish that swarmed his heart. He knew Maddie was waiting for him to call and he was worried about his fiancée. For all he knew, Makaela already found out about Maddie because of those photos and that’s why she wasn’t taking his calls. If she knew, then the next few days, or weeks, would be really nasty for everyone.
Connor stayed in the warmth of the water until his fingers and toes started to prune. He eventually turned off the water, wrapped a large towel around his waist, and wondered if the maid service had brought up his laundry yet. He needed a clean pair of boxers; otherwise he was going to have to sleep in the nude. He walked out of the bathroom and into the main room of the suite. He nearly fainted when he caught sight of who was sitting on his bed.
“Makaela! Shit, you scared me!” Connor’s heart was thumping out of control and thought me might lose his dinner all over the floor.
“Oh, calm down.” Makaela rose from the bed and circled Connor while he stood in disbelief and shivered from the sprinkled drops of water dripping down his body. Tiny goose bumps dotted his skin from head to toe.
“How come you didn’t let me know you were coming so soon?” Connor asked.
Makaela gave him a harrowing look, one that could shake down a hardened criminal. “Does it matter? Am I ruining any of your plans for tonight?” She continued to circle him and kept her stony blue eyes glued to his face. Her eyes were hard and mean; her tone was ruthless.
She knows. Connor felt nauseous and out of breath.
“I was just going to bed,” he replied, shakily.
Makaela smirked. “Alone?”
“Yes, alone!” Connor tried to sound offended. He could tell she wasn’t buying it.
Makaela tossed her bleach blonde hair over her shoulder. Connor noticed that she was fully decked out in one of her expensive, trendy outfits and had five pounds of makeup caked on her face. She looked ready to hit the club. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw her looking natural. Even though they had lived together for the past eight months, she was always painted and primped like some reality TV star. She may have been high maintenance, but she was gorgeous nonetheless.
“Are you happy to see me?” Makaela grabbed at the towel knotted around his waist and yanked. It slipped to floor and she looked down as it fell. She frowned and her eye makeup creased as her face sagged.
“Well, it doesn’t appear that you’re happy.”
Connor quickly got over his initial shock of her arrival and could feel his blood begin to boil. “Give me a break, Makaela! You just popped into my room and nearly gave me a stroke. How did you get in here, anyway? You don’t have a key and I didn’t leave one for you at the front desk.”
“The maid let me in when she was dropping off your clothes. I guess she recognized me as your fiancée.” Makaela accentuated the word fiancée, like she was the Queen of England or someone of great importance.
Connor gulped. She knows and she’s gonna hit me.
At that moment, his phone buzzed on top of the nightstand.
Makaela’s brows perked up. “You need to get that?” she asked in a whiny snarl.
Connor shook his head. “Probably just one of the guys wanting to talk about the car or something.” He lied, but Makaela continued with her charade. She was trying to shake Connor down and he was about to blow it all out. He could feel himself getting weaker and weaker in response to her taunting.
“Let’s see who it is. It could be important," she said, being facetious.
Connor lunged for the phone, but she beat him to it. He knew it would be Maddie and all hell was about to break loose.
Makaela pursed her lips while she read the illuminated screen. “Maddie has sent you a new message.” She pressed some buttons and Connor watched as her eyes grew larger after reading the text. “She’s worried about you and she loves you. How sweet!”
“Makaela, I-”
“Shut up, Connor! Do you think I’m an idiot? I know what’s going on!” Makaela threw his phone to the floor. She kept her indignant eyes on him as the phone bounced under the bed.
Connor was silent. He had so many questions, but he knew if he opened his mouth then she would only fire back with hurtful words. But he deserved it for cheating. He was busted and there was nothing he could do but take it like a man.
Makaela started the interrogation first. “Do you love her?” she asked, her shoulders trembling. Tears brimmed her black-lined eyes. The insides sparkled cobalt like stormy ocean waves.
“No,” Connor lied. No need to make this worse. She doesn’t need to know everything. “Just a one night stand. We drank a little too much. You know what tequila does to me.”
“Liar!” Makaela shouted and the flood of tears rushed down her cheeks. She smeared the makeup with the back of her hand.
“I’m sorry, Makaela.” He took a step toward her, but she backed away.
“I know everything.”
“How? Did you see the pictures?” Connor was sure she couldn’t have figured out everything just by seeing a few photos of him and Maddie dancing together.
Makaela sniffed. “What pictures?” Then she suddenly remembered. “Oh, yeah. Casey did mention some guys took pictures of you at a club.”
“Casey told you that?” Connor fumed. He couldn’t believe that his best friend had betrayed him.
It was all starting to unfold; he suddenly understood why the guy had been acting so strange since they had left Indianapolis.
“He called me and told me everything. He said you’d been staying in her room since the night she arrived in Indy. There was no one-night stand, Connor! You’ve been poking around with this girl for awhile!”
It hadn’t even occurred to Connor that he was standing there buck naked while they argued. He picked up his towel and wrapped it back around his waist. Makaela continued to sob uncontrollably.
“Let me explain,” Connor pleaded. He witnessed the sadness and distress in her eyes. It made him feel terribly guilty for betraying her, worse than it had when his boss found out.
“What are you going to say? That I’m out of town too much and you got lonely? You needed to get laid and she was there and willing?” Makaela paced back and forth in front of him. “I feel like I’m gonna puke!”
“That’s not how it happened,” Connor said defensively.
“Then how? We’re supposed to be getting married, Connor. You pledged your love to me when you gave me this ring!” Makaela held up her hand. The enormous diamond sparkled in the soft glow of the table lamp.
A lump formed in Connor’s throat and tears welled in his own eyes. “I know I did,” he muttered. He sucked in his breath to avoid the tears from spilling over. The guilt was overwhelming and it was all consuming.
Makaela’s emotions were all over the place. First, she was angry with him and then she was a sorrowful blob sagging on the edge of his bed. Her body heaved as she cried and Connor felt her pain stabbing him in the heart. He sat down beside her and cradled her in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” Connor whispered. He thought of how many people were hurt and how he was putting his career in danger. The fans wanted to cheer for a family man, a man of good character. He was a crummy, poor excuse of a person that was betraying the ones that mattered most.
Then it dawned on him and he knew what he had to do.
“I’ll make everything better.” Connor took a deep breath and then, after losing all of his nerve he said, “It’s over between her and I.”