From Daredevil to Devoted Daddy

by Barbara McMahon

  “He’ll be fine here,” Matt said.

  “He can eat in the kitchen.”

  “He’ll be fine.” Matt looked at her, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Unless there’s a reason you don’t want him here.”

  “You’d probably like peace and quiet.”

  He looked at the little boy. “I think conversation would be best this morning.”

  Alexandre beamed. He pulled out the chair across from Matt and sat down. “I can eat here, Mama.” He looked at Matt. “We’re going to La Fête de la Victoire de 1945 together. There’ll be lots to see. Did you want to come with us?”

  “No,” Jeanne-Marie said. “We’re meeting Michelle and Marc and Pierre, remember?”

  “But Matt would like them. Marc is big like him. Then we would all have a friend at the parade. Michelle and Marc, me and Pierre, and you and Matt. It’ll be good, Mama.”

  “I’m sure Matt has already made plans for the day,” she said. “I’ll get your breakfast. Don’t be pestering him.”

  “Did you make plans?” Alexandre asked when his mother walked away.

  “I was going for a climb,” Matt said. Truth be told, he had planned to do another climb not as challenging as he’d been doing. He was getting a later start than he wanted, due to a sleepless night.

  But as he ate and listened to Alexandre’s chatter, he thought more about changing plans and going with the Rousseaus to the fete. Would Jeanne-Marie be amenable? Or would she rather not mingle her guests and friends? She’d gone quickly to her quarters yesterday after they’d returned to the inn, saying she needed to soak in a hot bath.

  He’d gone to town to eat and hadn’t seen her again until this morning.

  Alexandre bounced on his chair. “I love fetes. I like the food and the parades. And all the people. Sometimes I can’t see everything because I’m little, but then Mama picks me up to see better. Pierre’s dad picks him up really high. Mama can’t pick me up so high. You are very tall. You could pick me up highest.”

  “If I were going with you.”

  “Can you, please?”

  When Jeanne-Marie returned from the kitchen with Alexandre’s breakfast, both of them at the table looked at her. “Mama, Matt is going with us to the fete and he’ll lift me up high to see!”

  Jeanne-Marie’s eyes widened and she stared at him. “You’re going with us?”

  “If you don’t wish me to lift him, I won’t. But he would be higher, don’t you think?”

  She nodded, putting the plate in front of Alexandre, trying to understand what was going on. “I thought you were climbing.”

  “I can climb tomorrow.”

  Jeanne-Marie didn’t know what to say. How would she spend the entire day in close proximity to Matthieu Sommer?

  They left the inn just before ten o’clock. Alexandre was beside himself, racing out in front, then running back to urge them on. Jeanne-Marie was careful to keep a distance between herself and the stern-looking man walking beside her. He had not smiled again like he had yesterday. If anything, he seemed to regret it. Still, he was going with her today. She wondered what Michelle would think when she showed up with him.

  The small coastal town was already crowded with colorful booths lining both sides of the main street, which had been closed for the day. Everything imaginable was for sale, from fresh warm cookies to scarves, sunglasses, wood carvings, brassware, and original paintings and crafts of every kind. When they began to be jostled by others, Jeanne-Marie took hold of Alexandre’s hand so he wouldn’t get separated from her in the growing crowd.

  The tricolor flew on every lamppost and by each booth. The joy in the day was evident by the happy revelers. It was a perfect day.

  Or would be if she could enjoy herself instead of being so very aware of the man walking at her side. She was getting too interested in her guest. Surrounded by the crowd, she still felt as if she and Matt were almost alone. She had to pay attention to what else was going on around her.

  Matt studied the scene from time to time, looking wherever Alexandre pointed. They passed a juggler mesmerizing his audience. A small band played near the town center, with people crowding the sidewalks to enjoy the music.

  They stopped at every booth. Matt wondered if the entire day was going to be silent, with Jeanne-Marie not speaking. He reached out and took her arm, stopping her.

  She turned and stared at him with wide eyes.

  “If you don’t wish for me to accompany you, please say so.”

  “Of course you can come with us. You’re here, aren’t you?”

  “And you haven’t said one word since we left the inn. Which leads me to surmise you’d just as soon wish I was a million miles away.”

  She shook her head. “No, I’m glad you came with us. It’s just—” She shrugged. “I don’t know, I feel a bit funny if you want the truth. This is the first time I’ve attended anything with a man since Phillipe died. It feels awkward. I know this isn’t a date or anything,” she rushed in to explain. “But others might look on it as if it were and then I’d have to explain and there’s nothing to explain, but it gets complicated.”

  He nodded. “I get it. This is the first time I’ve attended anything since my family died, too. It is different. It’s not what either of us thought we’d be doing today, but let’s give Alexandre a good day. Let others think what they want.”

  She nodded, relieved he understood. And for her, nothing was more important than letting her son enjoy himself.

  Except—today she wanted Matt to enjoy himself as well. He’d lived with heartache too long.

  “You and I know the truth, so what does it matter what others think?” he asked, leaning closer so she could hear him. Feeling the brush of his breath across her face, her eyes grew even wider as she stared right back at him. Matt was shocked at the sudden spurt of awareness and desire that shot through him.

  His gaze dropped to her lips and she instinctively licked them. He felt another shot of desire deep inside. Time seemed to stand still. Alexandre had nothing to do with the sensations he was feeling now.

  Clearing her throat, Jeanne-Marie dragged her gaze away and turned to look at the booth they stood in front of. “This is a fine example of local wood carving,” she said, her voice husky.

  It took a moment for him to be able to move. He was stunned he could feel anything after Marabelle’s death. He took a step back and gave his attention to the vendor, who tried to convince them they needed an assortment of wooden animals. Blood pounded in his veins. He glanced around, but no one else in the crowd noticed anything unusual. No one picked up on his reaction. No one could condemn him for normal male reactions to a pretty woman.

  “We don’t buy, we just look,” Alexandre said. “Too much stuff to carry,” he said gravely.

  Glad for the boy’s comment, Matt drew in a deep breath, avoiding looking at Jeanne-Marie. “Maybe on the way home we can find a memento of the day,” Matt told the boy. Keep things impersonal. And keep Alexandre between them. He’d focus on the little boy and make sure he had a good time.

  They met Jeanne-Marie’s friends at the designated corner shortly before the parade was to begin. Michelle couldn’t hide her surprise when she saw Matt accompanying Jeanne-Marie and Alexandre, but she tried to cover it up, rushing to introduce her son and husband. Alexandre and Pierre were friends and began talking about what they hoped was going to be in the parade.

  When more and more people pressed in around them, Matt knew the parade was about to begin. He lifted Alexandre into his arms so he could see more than waists and legs. As a defense mechanism it wasn’t foolproof, but it kept his attention focused on the parade and the boy and not the woman standing beside him. When others moved to crowd into the remaining space, Jeanne-Marie had to step closer. He could smell her perfume, light and airy, and as much a part of her as her dark hair. She was no longer so distant, and he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. At least when she wasn’t talking to him, he had been okay. Now he grew more aware
of her every second.

  “I’m up high,” Alexandre said gleefully, leaning over to see Pierre, whose father had also lifted him.

  “Me, too,” Pierre said with laughter.

  The first entry in the parade was an eclectic band, the national anthem played at the midway point of the parade route. Then the musicians played marching music as they continued down the street.

  Following were homemade floats, decorated cars with people waving, a dancing group from a local school. A high school band, and assorted veteran companies dressed in uniform, cheered by the spectators. A fire truck followed, blowing its siren from time to time and spraying the crowd with a fine mist of water.

  When the parade ended forty-five minutes later, Michelle and Marc invited Jeanne-Marie and Matt to join them for lunch.

  “No. I need to get back to the inn,” Jeanne-Marie said.

  “Why?” Michelle asked. “You have Rene to keep an eye on things, and all your guests are surely here.”

  Jeanne-Marie turned slightly so Matt couldn’t see her face and rolled her eyes in his direction.

  Michelle grinned and leaned closer. “To be alone with him?”

  “No!” Jeanne-Marie said, horrified. This was just the kind of conclusion she was afraid her friend would jump to. “I can’t tie him up all day,” she said softly.

  “I want to ride the merry-go-round,” Alexandre said.

  “We usually do let the children ride,” Michelle said, her eyes dancing at Jeanne-Marie’s discomfort.

  “Is there a carousel?” Matt asked Jeanne-Marie. She turned and nodded, giving up on her plan to flee back to the inn and barricade herself into her private rooms.

  “There’s a traveling carnival at the edge of town, in one of the lots set back from the sea. It’ll be jammed with kids, though.”

  “I’m a firm believer in letting children enjoy life as much as they can while they can.” And it would delay return to the inn. He would spend the entire day surrounded by the crowd if he could. He did not want to be alone with either Jeanne-Marie—or his thoughts.

  “Okay, thank you, he’ll love it.”

  Time passed swiftly. Despite his best efforts to remain distant, Matt caught himself darting glances her way. Her laugher was contagious. Her delight in mundane things had him looking at the world in a new light. Everything seemed lighter than before, more colorful. Even the heightened sense of awareness that did not diminish as the day went on. He wondered if she picked up on it. She was careful to keep out of touching distance. Though once or twice the crowded walkway jostled her so she bumped into him. He let his fingers linger just a second when steadying her. Her skin was soft as silk.

  Jeanne-Marie knew most of the people in town and was frequently greeted. She in turn introduced Matt, mentioning only that he was visiting to climb Les Calanques. She ignored the occasional look of speculation.

  By three o’clock Alexandre was definitely tired. He rested his head on Matt’s shoulder and stopped talking.

  “You all right, Alexandre?” he asked.

  “I’m tired,” he said.

  “He usually naps most days. I’ll take him back to the inn. It’s been wonderful. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time. Thank you, Matt, for seeing it with us. I hope you enjoyed it as well,” she said, her eyes darting to his, then back to Alexandre.

  “I’ll go back with you. This little guy isn’t going to be wanting to walk and he’s too heavy for you to carry all that way.” There was still time to get in a short climb. Preferably very steep and strenuous. Something to take his mind off the woman at his side.

  “Thank you.”

  The three of them headed for the inn. To a casual observer they probably looked like a young family, husband, wife and child. For a split second Matt felt a pang that it wasn’t so. Then reason returned. He was not looking to replace his family with another. He was not going to fall in love again. Life was too uncertain to risk everything by falling in love, having his life on edge awaiting another fateful outcome.

  When they reached the veranda, Matt let Jeanne-Marie take Alexandre, who was almost asleep.

  “Thank you,” she said again.

  “No problem.”

  He handed off the boy. When she went to their quarters, he took the stairs to his room.

  Quickly changing into climbing clothes, he headed out.

  She was talking to Rene when he descended. She looked up.

  “Going for a climb? Isn’t it a bit late?”

  “I’ll find a short climb, check out the view from another vantage point,” he said, and kept walking. He would drive himself to the point of exhaustion so he’d sleep. And he’d get his head on straight. He might find some physical attraction to the pretty innkeeper, but he wasn’t going there. She was a forever-after kind of woman, and he’d not risk his very soul again on ephemeral love.

  Jeanne-Marie watched as he left, a spring in his step, his look anticipatory.

  She brushed her fingertips across her lips, remembering their kiss. She’d pushed the thought away during the day, but now the memory returned. She had felt a pull of attraction that was as strong as any she’d ever had for Phillipe. Once when he’d leaned over her to say something, she’d thought he was going to kiss her again.

  But she’d misread the situation. Matt had turned away and the moment had been lost. Not that she forgot it. Doing her best to keep her distance the rest of the day, she still felt an awareness that bordered on the edge of obsession. He was the perfect tall, dark and handsome man romance novels so loved. His body was honed to perfection. His smile didn’t reach his eyes, but still had the ability to stir her heart.

  “Which is foolishness,” she said aloud, to Rene’s confusion.

  “Pardon?”

  “Rien.” Shaking her head, she went to prepare a pitcher of lemonade and then to sit on the veranda. She’d enjoy the rest of the day no matter what! Alexandre would probably sleep till dinnertime, which was good, so he would keep awake for the fireworks. Softly she sighed as she looked across the beach to the sea. Spending the evening on the veranda and watching the pyrotechnics from the comfort of the inn was the perfect way to end the day. The fireworks were shot over the water, so the veranda offered a perfect vantage point. Since she had taken over running the inn, Jeanne-Marie had invited all her guests as well.

  It was a nice tradition, she thought, and kept the memories of Phillipe alive.

  It had taken a while, but now she knew she wouldn’t fall apart if she remembered happy times with him. More often than not, now she was angry at his taking foolish risks and leaving her and Alexandre behind. She knew her loss and his couldn’t be measured by how or why. Only the aching emptiness where love once flourished.

  She felt restless, and sitting still had all sorts of thoughts crowding her mind. Ones she didn’t want. Again her thoughts went to Matthieu Sommer.

  This had to stop.

  She popped in to tell Rene she was going for a walk and would be back soon.

  Stepping off onto the sand, Jeanne-Marie took off her sandals and looped them through her fingers, heading directly to the sea and the packed sand where the water kissed the shore.

  Then, as if unable to stop herself, she turned to walk toward Les Calanques. It wasn’t that she expected to run into Matt on his return, but if she did, then they could talk as they walked back to the inn.

  She studied the crags and cliffs ahead of her. How Phillipe had loved them for the short climbs he could take on weekends. And she’d enjoyed spending time with his grandfather while they waited for him to return.

  Yesterday had been amazing. She’d actually climbed a cliff. Granted, it wasn’t very high or steep, but it was more than she’d ever done before. And Alexandre had loved it. He’d talked about it all last night. And had regaled Pierre today when they were watching the parade.

  She knew Alexandre wanted to climb mountains one day. She hoped he’d outgrow the idea. But if not, could she stop him? She didn’t want to cod
dle him. But the thought of him scaling a sheer face of rock had her almost in a panic. She wanted him to be proud of his father. Yet she didn’t want him to necessarily follow entirely in Phillipe’s footsteps.

  By the time she reached the rocky area that led to the base of the cliffs, Jeanne-Marie knew she had to turn around. She needed to be home when Alexandre awoke. Just as she was about to turn, she saw Matt in the distance, gazing out to the sea. She stopped. Her inclination was to continue until she reached him. But he looked so intent, she didn’t know if she should intrude.

  She watched for a long time. Giving into temptation, she scrambled over the rocks and found the faint path at the base of the cliffs. Following it, she would reach him in no time. Then what would she say?

  He saw her and turned to walk toward her.

  “Out for a walk?” he asked when he was close enough to be heard.

  “Alexandre’s sleeping, so I thought I’d have a bit of time to myself.”

  “Ah, then I’ll leave you to your walk.”

  “No. That’s okay. I’m ready to head back. You looked like you were lost in thought gazing out at the sea.”

  “I was thinking about sailing around the world.”

  “Oh, wow, that’s ambitious. I didn’t know you sailed.”

  “A totally unrealistic thought since I’ve never sailed by myself. I think I’d like a competent crew and big boat that could handle anything the sea throws at us. Then maybe.”

  “Have you done any long distance sailing?”

  “Around the Med a few summers ago as part of a crew. But my father was living then and in charge of the winery. Now, it falls primarily to me. The appeal of being on the water would be the total lack of communication. And that’s unreal—decisions have to be made, plans implemented.”

  “So work up to a sabbatical like professors have,” she said, falling into step with him.

  “Hmm. In the meantime, climbing’s a strong leader for most desired escape.”

  She laughed. “What happened to quiet, safe hobbies like stamp collecting or photography?” She felt almost giddy around him.