Return to the Bear

by T. S. Joyce

  “Why,” Nathan said in a deep and commanding voice, “do you run from me?”

  He’d hear a lie so what was the point in trying? “Because I don’t want to be here.”

  “Do I not take care of you? Do I not give you enough status in the clan? For chrissakes, Joanna. You are one of the highest ranking females, above even my mates. So why the fuck,” he bellowed, standing, “do you keep trying to escape like you are some prisoner?”

  “Because you treat me like one! I’m not here by choice, Nathan. I’m here because you waged war against my people and spared my life.”

  “And you waste the gift I gave you?”

  “You’ve never lived under someone else’s thumb, so you don’t know how it is. I can’t imagine you’d sit idly by while the man who destroyed your people laid down rule after rule for you to follow.”

  He shrugged like her words didn’t matter. “That’s war, Joanna. If you don’t like it, you can join Blood Den in their graves.”

  “You’d do that? You’d kill me after everything?” He’d been kind once. The last alpha was the one who’d decreed the Long Claws wage war with Blood Den. Nathan had been second then, and had won the battle for his alpha. And now he was leader and his heart had gone cold. He’d begged his alpha for her life on the edge of that blood-soaked battlefield, and now he would toss her body in the dirt?

  Leaning forward, his eyes narrowed like a big cat’s before it tackled its prey. “Don’t test me. I’ve been patient with you and still you deny me. I want you as my mate, it’s no secret. Everyone knows it. I’ve been clear with my intentions from day one—”

  “No, you didn’t. You pretended to be my friend. Can’t you see I’m not happy here?” Her voice dipped to a whisper. “Just let me go.”

  He’d frozen inches away from her face and emotion slashed across his eyes. She’d almost missed it, but it had been there. Somewhere in him, he still harbored a soul. The wicked twist of his smile, however, dropped her stomach to the floor like she’d just fallen off a cliff.

  “Spread your legs,” he murmured.

  He wouldn’t touch her. It wasn’t his way to take a woman against her will. His pride was too big to admit a woman didn’t want him. Instead, he’d been patiently hunting her for weeks, driving her to inferno as her heat had grown stronger.

  Hormones were her traitorous little enemies. Like a wanton woman, she pulled her hands away from her sex and splayed her legs. Nathan pushed to the edge of his throne until his jutting erection was inches from her entrance.

  “Be mine.”

  “Nathan,” she pleaded, voice shaking. “I can’t. I want more than what you can give me.”

  “I can give you everything,” he said, crouching on the floor. His powerful muscles tensed as he lowered himself in front of her thighs. His warm breath caressed the building moisture there and she shuddered and let her head drop backward. Her eyes rolled closed.

  “You’re so ripe, Joanna. I could make you come with my breath if you wished it.”

  She was burning. It didn’t matter if it was Nathan, or any other man touching her, she felt reckless to be held. Stupid heat.

  “Do you wish it?” he asked, his breath tickling her sensitive skin.

  She couldn’t remember how to talk. Forming words was suddenly beyond her abilities and her knees, those double-crossing little bitches, gave. His caressing tongue slid into her and his hands gripped her hips, holding her upright. It was the first time he’d touched her and the pain of his fingers digging into her flesh overpowered the ecstasy of his deep thrusting tongue.

  This wasn’t what she wanted. It was what her body wanted, but not her heart.

  “Stop,” she whispered half-heartedly.

  His touch disappeared immediately. When she opened her eyes, he was standing to his full height, much taller than her. His eyes were so dilated, the green had all but disappeared, replaced by searing blackness.

  “Can’t you see what you do to me?” he asked low.

  His hands were clenched at his sides and his erection jutted hard as a stone between them. He never let anyone see this kind of emotion. She knew, because she watched for it. But how could she explain monogamy to someone more animal than man?

  “I want to be with one man,” she said, swaying toward him like her body still required his heat. “And I want to be his only mate. You can’t give that to me. I need more.”

  His face grew ruddy and his eyes took on a dangerous glint. “You would have me forsake all other women, just so I could be with you?”

  She lifted her chin defiantly. “Yes.” Her mother and father had mated for life. Blood Den encouraged those kinds of relationships and she’d dreamt of one day finding that. Nathan was powerful and sexy, but Long Claws had never lived by clan rules. They felt they were above them and gave more power to their animals, forsaking human instincts.

  Nathan didn’t want a mate. He wanted breeders.

  “My love?” Anya asked from the entrance to the stairway. She was a slight thing, mousey almost, with dirty blonde ringlets and an easy smile for Nathan. She always looked at him so adoringly, Joanna had mistaken it for love when he’d first started collecting his mates. It wasn’t though. She was like his other women. High on the power that being mated to the alpha brought, and very well-bedded. That probably looked a lot like love to bear shifters raised to expect this kind of pairing. To Joanna, who’d seen real love, it was terrifying to think she could be like Anya someday.

  With long strides, Nathan reached Anya and slid his hands around her waist. He kissed her, lingering as if addicted to the taste of her. His hand drew up and cupped the back of her head and he tilted her back, and dipped his mouth to her neck. She moaned and pressed against him.

  Maybe he wouldn’t notice if Joanna just slipped behind them and disappeared down the stairs.

  “Anya, I want you on my bed. Joanna, sit in that chair over there. This will be your punishment for running.”

  Aw, crap. More torture. Joanna ambled over to the chair and plopped down with her legs crossed. Maybe if she clamped them hard enough, her hormones would get the message to shut the hell up.

  Nathan undressed Anya on the bed, and she turned and threw Joanna a smile over her shoulder. “Is she joining us today?”

  A severe look dashed over his face, but he replaced it with his usually stony countenance by the time Anya turned to look at him. “Not today, love.”

  Love? The man didn’t know the meaning of the word.

  Tenderly, he lay Anya on his bed and shot Joanna one last lingering look before he pushed his shaft gently into his mate. His muscles rippled as he thrust slowly, ever courteous to pay special attention to Anya’s breasts and neck. The slick sound of them screwing shot warmth down Joanna’s middle and she tightened her legs even more. Damn him for doing this to her. He’d been teasing her for weeks, seducing her slowly and now he was flaunting sex in front of her like she was some plaything.

  Anya threw her head back and whispered his name, and Nathan’s gaze found Joanna’s as he rocked. “Legs apart,” he said in a strained voice. “Let me see you.”

  The brute. The only thing keeping her from orgasming right along with Anya was her tightly clenched legs.

  “Now,” he barked out.

  Uncrossing her knees, she slowly slid her feet apart and clenched her hands against her thighs, fighting the urge to touch herself.

  Nathan’s gaze didn’t leave her sex as he came into Anya. Joanna felt empty and wished anyone but Nathan would look at her like he just did.

  She’d crumble soon and give into him. She couldn’t fight her body’s needs forever. And when she did, her favorite parts of herself would be stifled forever.

  Chapter Two

  Joanna ambled down the pathway that led to the small house she shared with three other shifters. She’d lived here for two years but still, calling it home didn’t feel right. Two of her roommates were still working at the gardens, but Audrey was sitting at the table read
ing a magazine with a plastic container of chocolate pudding sitting open in front of her. Joanna wasn’t a huge Audrey fan, so she nodded a minimalist greeting and strode down the hallway to take a cold shower and find some clothes.

  When she stepped into the small space, however, she drew up short. The bed had been stripped and all of her belongings had been removed. The carpet had been vacuumed and cables hung out of the wall where her small television set used to be. Even her oil painting prints had been removed, along with their nails.

  Rushing for the kitchen, she asked Audrey, “What happened to all of my stuff?”

  She smirked, the little beast. “Blake came by and packed your things. He left that.” Audrey nodded her chin toward a folded piece of paper on the living room coffee table.

  Unfolding the letter, her chest constricted like someone was sitting on top of it as she read.

  You’ll be living with Nathan’s mates in the big house from now on. You’ll find your belongings in the room closest to the kitchen. Dress quickly. Our alpha wants you to join him at dinner. He says he is making a big announcement about you. Don’t be late.

  -Blake, Second to the Alpha

  Second to the Alpha? Putting his rank on a letter like this was such a dick move. She didn’t need to be reminded that he was still higher up and could order her around. She crumpled the paper into a tight ball, shoved it in her mouth, screeched her fury and shot it past her lips like a bad news canon. It bounced off the wall and she glared at it, debating whether or not to set the horrid little thing on fire. The audacity of that irritating, conniving—

  “You could do worse than get boned by the alpha whenever you want, Joanna,” Audrey said around a bite of pudding.

  Why did everyone keep saying that? You could do worse…well, she could do a hell of a lot better than becoming first lady of a harem of shifter breeders, now couldn’t she? This was insane. She still remembered what normalcy was, and this was not it. She’d just watched Nathan boink one of his mates while staring at her lady bits. If she told Audrey that, would her roommate be surprised? No, because everyone here just went around banging anyone they pleased with no regard for actual affectionate feelings.

  She would have tried her hand at finding romance with one of the other males around here, but Nathan would cut off their head. That wasn’t sarcastic. He would take a saber and lob off their head, then probably declare the deed done in her name like she’d asked him to do it. Barbarian.

  She wanted to break everything.

  “You look sexually frustrated, Joanna,” Audrey observed, then slurped another bite of pudding.

  “Shut up,” she muttered and stomped to the front door. He wanted her to live with his mates? Seriously? She’d said no to him claiming her. And whatever big announcement Nathan was going to make at dinner tonight sounded about as exciting as cleaning a gas station bathroom.

  He could force you to accept him. The thought made her sick to her stomach. He wouldn’t. It wasn’t his way. It wasn’t any of their way to force a pairing.

  Marching down the lane, she ignored the odd looks and whispers. Throwing open the door to the big house, she barged through the kitchen where two of his mates, April and Greta, sat chatting quietly. From the dirty looks they tossed her and from the silence that doused the room, she could guess who they were talking about. In the bedroom closest to the kitchen sat her things. The room was cluttered with messy piles, and she swallowed down the fury that was clawing its way up her throat. This had been organized. It wasn’t like Nathan was banging Anya for hours. It was half an hour tops, and not enough time for one man to move all of her things.

  She lifted an embroidered pillow her mom had made when she and Dad had first been mated. Love lives here, it read, and Joanna clutched it to her chest. It was one of the few things Nathan had allowed her to take from her old life, and now it had a big grease stain across the front thanks to some careless mover.

  Anya poked her head inside the open doorway. “Hey you. It’s almost time for dinner. You want to walk with me?”

  Joanna swallowed an angry retort. It wasn’t Anya’s fault Nathan was being a pain in her ass. Maybe Anya was a stolen shifter like herself and was just trying to make the best out of a bad situation. She didn’t really know anything about the woman, other than the fact that she was apparently cool with threesomes.

  “Sure. That would be great,” she said with a sigh. She was still as naked as the day she was born, but nudity wasn’t a big deal. Everyone walked around naked before and after a change. Still, she wanted to wear clothes to dinner, so she rifled through a detached dresser drawer someone had tossed onto the twin sized bed in the corner. Anya was wearing a sundress, but Joanna didn’t own anything nice like that.

  Clad and jeans, a black tank top and matching flip flops, she followed Anya out the front door.

  “A woman came here this morning,” Anya said wistfully.

  “A human woman?”

  “Oh, no. She smelled like a shifter. She was really pretty and looked interested in our Nathan.”

  Our Nathan? Yak. “What did she want?”

  “I don’t know. Nathan asked me to leave before I could hear, but he made it up to me by asking for me when you were there. He’s nice like that. I haven’t been intimate with him in two days, and he does seem to try and be fair to his mates.”

  Nathan and fair didn’t belong in the same sentence. “What did the woman look like?”

  “Dark hair the color of crow feathers, and bright red lips. She was all made up like she was going to a fancy party.” Anya’s eyes looked hopeful and her delicate eyebrows arched. “Maybe she’ll be at dinner tonight.”

  She wasn’t though. The mess hall where Nathan preferred to dine only held bear shifters she recognized. No mysterious dark haired woman with red lipstick, and Nathan didn’t act like anything was amiss when they walked through the front door.

  April and Greta already sat on his right side at a table on a raised platform. A server set a plate of lamb chops, mashed potatoes and garden green beans in front of him. When his eyes landed on her, the sheer amount of possessiveness that dwelled there made her skin crawl.

  He stood in a very chivalrous gesture, but when Anya approached to lay a chaste peck upon his cheek, he motioned for her to sit two seats down. Anya tossed Joanna a hurt look as Nathan guided her to the seat directly beside him. What a way for a man to treat a woman he’d just shared a bed with. Her stomach felt like it was filled with hot stones and she swallowed bile. Anya’s hurt would be her pain to bear someday too. She’d never be loved, only possessed.

  A server set a plate of food before her and she wrung her hands beneath the table. It looked delicious but she’d be sick if she ate now. The announcement Nathan would make tonight weighed heavily on her, and she searched the other faces around the room. She’d never been to a dinner with Nathan. It was reserved for the highest ranking members of the clan, and though he’d elevated her rank as bribery, she’d never been invited.

  Thirty clan members ate comfortably below them, and Nathan watched them, pride evident in his arrogant smile. Here was a man who relished being alpha.

  “Before we eat,” Nathan said, rising, “I’d like to announce that Joanna…” He offered his hand and helped her up. Her skin felt clammy where it touched his. “Joanna has finally accepted my offer to be mated to me.”

  “What?” she whispered. “No, I didn’t.”

  “Didn’t you? You let me taste your slick folds only an hour ago, Joanna. I told you all you had to do was let me touch you, and you did.”

  His voice echoed through the room and nods of frank approval shook, making it look like a sea of bobble heads below them. She was really going to be sick now.

  “I didn’t mean to—”

  “She’s already moved into the big house and will start sharing my bed tonight. She’s in heat, and with any luck, we’ll have a cub running around here by this time next year.”

  Shocked, a strangled noise cam
e from her throat and her knees buckled. She sat heavily into the chair to the applause of the clan. This wasn’t happening. Greta and April could’ve killed her with their looks alone, and Anya looked as sick as Joanna felt.

  Taking the chair beside her, Nathan lifted his glass high and the rest of the room followed suit. All but her. She wouldn’t toast her own demise. Anger, fear and loss churned inside her, wringing burning heat from her skin until it reached the tips of her ears.

  “Settle down, love,” Nathan murmured.

  “Don’t. Don’t you fucking call me that,” she growled low.

  He lifted his chin and narrowed cold eyes at her. “I’m done waiting, Joanna. If you can’t fulfill your duties to me, your alpha, I have no use for you anymore.” He leaned forward until his lips brushed her ear. “And I’ll be damned if I let another man touch what is mine. If you refuse me, you’ll join the rest of your sniveling clan in the afterlife.”

  She clutched her napkin as a warm tear of anger slid down her cheek. Turning slowly, she leveled him with a broken gaze. “Then I’m doomed either way.”

  Fury wracked his face and he parted his lips to say something, but the door swung wide and one of Nathan’s guards led a stranger into the alpha’s dinner party.

  The man was tall, with dark hair that brushed his neck. Thick brows were set over a somber gaze that remained focused on Nathan. The color of his eyes waged a battle between green and brown. She’d never seen such an alluring color on a man’s face before. They were light hued, contrasting against his sun kissed skin. A casual, long-sleeved black shirt stretched across the defined muscles of his torso. His shirt harbored a trio buttons near the strong cords of his neck, and all three had been thankfully left undone, exposing a smooth triangle of his taut chest. He wasn’t a Long Claw. She would have remembered a man like him. His expression was severe, as if he were unafraid of Nathan, and the alpha beside her stood.