Love Redesigned

by Iles, Jo

  Chapter 2

  Holly spent the next twenty minutes in a whirlwind of activity as she tidied up the lounge, slapped on some war paint and finished getting dressed. She felt so much better with her slouchy sweater on over her tank top, giving her some more coverage and security. Holly also dropped Chloe at the office an urgent message to cancel all her meetings and work commitments that morning on account of a family emergency. This was something she found hard to type. Daniel was not her ‘family’, but she had to say something half-plausible if she was to completely abandon her morning schedule.

  She had only the breakfast things left to clear up when she got distracted as she was coming down the stairs. Holly clocked the personal belongings that she’d made Daniel abandon on her hall table, and sank down onto the bottom step, her inner angel and devil having a heated discussion. She wanted to look, to nose through his wallet and check his phone. Of course she did. She was only human. Holly was desperate for some clue as to what Daniel wanted, what had prompted this early-morning visit so out of the blue. She was convinced he wanted something big—this was not purely a social nicety.

  But as tempted as she was to look through Daniel’s things, she would always know she’d done it. She’d never be able to take the higher ground legitimately if she knew she’d rifled through his belongings. As a consolation, Holly settled for getting a closer look at Daniel’s car keys—without touching anything, of course; for all she knew, Daniel had memorised their exact position on the table, to test her and see if she’d been snooping when he came to retrieve them. Closer inspection showed that the keys belonged to an Aston Martin. So Daniel was still doing alright then, Holly thought to herself as she scanned her tiny home from where she was sitting. She loved her home, but she suddenly felt a feeling of inferiority knowing that Daniel’s house would be so much bigger and grander than hers.

  Holly checked her watch and was alarmed to see that nearly thirty minutes had passed since she’d waved her son off to school. Where was Daniel? Perhaps he had lied to her face and he had abducted Harry. Perhaps it meant nothing to him to abandon his keys, phone and wallet, just like that. He could probably afford to replace all of them in the blink of an eye. The more Holly thought about it, the bigger the panic inside her started to develop. What the hell had she done, relinquishing her son to a stranger? What kind of a terrible mother was she? She was just about to phone the school when she heard the doorbell chime.

  ‘Thank God,’ she said to herself as she rushed to the door.

  ‘You certainly took your time,’ Holly snapped when she clapped eyes on the source of her annoyance.

  ‘I didn’t know you were so desperate for my return,’ Daniel said casually as he strode into the hallway and shrugged off his jacket. Uninvited, he walked through to the back of the house and into the kitchen, slinging his jacket over the back of Harry’s chair.

  ‘Was Harry alright?’ Holly asked, ignoring his banter and following in his footsteps down the hallway.

  ‘He was fine,’ Daniel said, turning abruptly and halting Holly’s progress in mid-step. He just looked at her.

  ‘What?’ Holly asked, uncomfortable under his gaze.

  ‘You’ve changed,’ Daniel said plainly.

  ‘We all change, Daniel,’ Holly responded, pushing past him. She busied herself around the kitchen, putting clean dishes away. ‘It has been over five years.’

  ‘I meant your clothes. You changed your clothes,’ Daniel clarified.

  ‘Oh,’ Holly replied, tugging at her jumper and realising her mistake.

  ‘I liked you more before,’ Daniel said, sounding disappointed.

  ‘I’m sure you did,’ Holly muttered as she turned and put the kettle on. Hopefully she would manage to get to drink her tea this time.

  ‘Yes please,’ Daniel said as he sat down, nodding in the direction of the kettle.

  ‘Make yourself at home,’ was Holly’s sarcastic response. She proceeded to make tea for them both in silence, concentrating on the task at hand.

  Even after all these years, she still felt jittery around him. Of course, it didn’t help that he looked well. Very well, indeed. He was a good-looking man even at the worst of times—and now, sat there in her ordinary kitchen, looking all shiny and expensive, he had the effect of making Holly feel more of a dowdy struggling single mum than a yummy mummy.

  Daniel broke the silence as she placed a mug of tea for him down on the table. ‘I’m glad to see you’re feeding our son marshmallows for breakfast.’

  ‘My son, Daniel,’ Holly said sternly. ‘Your silence over the years has spoken volumes,’ she added, hoping her words would dig the knife in further and make her viewpoint crystal clear. Holly began to clear the offending marshmallows and Harry’s empty cereal bowl away, but Daniel caught her hand and wouldn’t let go.

  ‘What’s this?’ he asked jovially, inspecting her fingers. ‘A naked hand. You’re not wearing your wedding ring! My my my. Moved on, have we?’

  Holly tugged her hand out of his grasp. It was the first time in more than five years that this man had touched her, and it startled her that she should be so viscerally aware of such a casual touch, considering how highly physical and charged a relationship they’d had in the past. Clutching her hand was positively tame in comparison to—well, that—and yet she’d noticed it the second it had happened.

  ‘What do you want, Daniel? Why are you here?’ Holly asked plainly, ignoring Daniel’s blatant attempt at snooping into her private life. Holly put some distance between them and found refuge at the sink. This would reduce the chance of any more unexpected touching.

  ‘I wanted to meet my son,’ Daniel replied. Holly couldn’t tell if he was actually being sincere or just taking the piss. She found herself once again getting riled by his emphatic use of the possessive my. But rather than rise to the bait and take issue with the little things, Holly tried to make herself sound more like an adult and less like a first-grader.

  ‘Why now?’ she heard herself asking in a detached way, as she sloshed the dishes around in the sink.

  ‘Why not?’ Daniel replied rhetorically. ‘Whatever you may think of me, he is my son as well, and I have a right to get to know him. There’s no hiding from that fact, Holly. Plus, judging from today’s events, I’d say he wants to know me too.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Daniel,’ Holly said, unable to hide her irritation or stop her volume from rising. ‘How can you be so arrogant as to think he wants to know you? He’s a little boy, for Christ sake. All he wants is a dad like his friends at school have. Someone to play fight with in the garden and gang up with against their mums. In fact, I’m convinced that any man could do that with him and he’d be happy. He doesn’t need his biological father to fulfill that role for him. Especially one who couldn’t give a toss and for some unknown reason has now decided to complicate our lives with his presence.’ This little rant was accompanied by a series of disgusted and dirty looks. Shaking her head, Holly looked down to see a nice wet patch across her stomach from where she’d splashed the washing-up water in her anger. She lowered her head and concentrated on washing the dishes in silence. Maybe Daniel would do a disappearing act if she concentrated on her scrubbing efforts hard enough.

  ‘Any man could be Harry’s father, could he?’ Daniel said softly. Holly remained at the sink, not even deigning to turn around and look at him. ‘Do you really believe that?’ Daniel continued. ‘And what about you, Holly? Could any man make you blush as quickly as I can? Could any man make you feel as good as I can?’

  Daniel whispered this last question directly into her ear. Holly jumped at the realisation that he was so close. She hadn’t heard him get up off his chair, the sneaky bastard.

  Holly felt trapped. Literally. If she moved or turned around, she’d have to touch him—and she definitely didn’t want to do that. That could lead to a whole chain of events that Holly would not be in control of. Daniel was playing one of his favourite games: using his sizable physical attrac
tion against her. Back in the days after she first met him, she would have melted in this scenario, and they’d have been in bed together before any more words could have been spoken. Sex was Daniel’s number one weapon when it came to women. If he wasn’t getting his way, then he simply turned up the pheromones, got whoever was being argumentative between the sheets, and that was the end of the discussion. Well, that’s what he’d done with Holly, anyway—on more than one occasion. She presumed it was a similar situation with the other women in his life.

  ‘Could you step away from me, please?’ Holly asked politely, turning her head slightly towards him. She could smell him. He still smelt the same. Clean, with a citrusy scent from his aftershave.

  ‘Why would I do that, Holly? Unless I’m very much mistaken, you’re still my wife, and that means I can stand where the hell I please.’

  ‘Please step away, Daniel,’ Holly asked again, feeling rattled at the reminder. They were still married. Technically. However much Holly thought of and referred to him as her ex-husband, the piece of paper tying them to each other still existed. Unfortunately.

  ‘Now why would I want to step away from something that is so exquisite and belongs to me?’ Daniel teased.

  ‘Dammit, Daniel,’ Holly exclaimed, losing all patience and finally turning round. She planted her hands on his chest and pushed him away. Well, she would have pushed him away if he’d actually moved—but the massive brute didn’t budge an inch. Holly felt weak and inconsequential next to him. She was no match against a man of his size and she knew it. This man could do anything he wanted to her and she would be utterly powerless to stop him.

  As if to prove the point, rather than being pushed back, Daniel actually stepped forward, pinning her tightly between the kitchen sink and his body. His arms remained by his sides, but she could feel the firmness of his chest against her hands, not to mention a certain increasing hardness against her stomach. And she didn’t even have to feel what was going on in his groin to know he was turned on: one look at his dilated blue eyes and the soft purse of his sensual mouth told her he had one thing, and one thing alone, on his mind. And it wasn’t his latest business success. It wasn’t even Harry.

  ‘Oh, Jesus,’ Holly breathed as she felt his pheromones do their worst and envelop her senses. He clouded her judgement with his heady chemical mix and physical presence. It didn’t help that he was looking at her like she was dripping in chocolate. Holly found herself trapped between a rock and a—hard place. She knew what the right thing to do was, but however much she knew this, she couldn’t bring herself to act like the sensible adult she was supposed to be. It had been a long time since she’d felt so desired, a very long time, and it was intoxicating.

  ‘You want me?’ Daniel half-asked, half-declared. Holly knew she shouldn’t do it, but she was unable to stop herself from giving him the barest of nods. The next thing she knew his mouth had crashed down on hers and his hands were everywhere at once, desperately trying to find a way through her clothing to her bare skin. He pulled back for a half second and simultaneously peeled off her still wet sweater and simple white vest, leaving her in her newest lace push-up bra. Holly gave herself a silent pat on the back for recently purging her underwear drawer of all faded and jaded items, leaving only the most decent stuff behind.

  ‘Fuck,’ he exhaled as he looked down to see the soft fullness of her breasts overflowing from the top of her bra. He began groping and kissing her all down her neck and chest, exploring her as though for the first time. Holly forced her mind to stop functioning as it normally did and simply allowed her body to take over. As it turned out, her body seemed to be ravenous, and she did her own fair share of groping and kissing.

  ‘Bedroom?’ Daniel said, suddenly growing impatient after several more heady minutes of hurried foreplay. It took Holly a couple of seconds to register what it was he’d actually said.

  ‘This way,’ she breathed, pushing him off her and sliding out from where she’d been pinned. Holly strode off down the hallway and up the stairs, not bothering to look back to check that he was following her. Once in her bedroom she quickly removed her jeans. Her critical eye spied the mildly messy appearance of her room, and she hesitated, considering if she should have a quick tidy round. But her hesitation was summarily halted as she felt herself scooped up in the air and tossed on the bed. Holly lay sprawled, looking up at Daniel who stood there bare-chested. She felt her insides turn to mush. There was no doubt in Holly’s mind about the direction in which they were headed.

  It was Daniel who now seemed to hesitate, and Holly suddenly felt his uncertainty wash through the room. She thought he was going to bolt. She actually thought the sexual predator and lover of sex she’d always known him to be was going to see her imperfections and walk away. Holly subconsciously bit her bottom lip and consciously slid her legs a few inches wider. The suggestion in her movement seemed to have the desired effect, and Daniel quickly overcame his momentary lapse and resumed normal service as he approached the bed.

  It wasn’t sensual and gentle lovemaking. It was hungry, all consuming, noisy, time-is-precious, need-it-now sex. And yet there was something familiar about it. They clicked, falling effortlessly into an easy rhythm, their knowledge of each other’s bodies resurfacing as they automatically seemed to pick up on old muscle memories of what felt good and what felt better.

  When they were both sated, they lay together in Holly’s comfy bed, a tangle of nakedness and limbs, looking at each other.

  ‘I’ve missed you,’ Daniel said, the first to break the post-coital silence. Holly could have sworn that he was being genuine. For once Daniel’s tone and words seemed sincere, rather than couched in his usual confident bravado. She didn’t respond, just smiled shyly as she admired the man next to her. Her husband. God, he was gorgeous, she told herself. There was definitely no question as to Harry’s parentage. He and Daniel had the exact same shade of blue eyes and thick dark hair.

  ‘You haven’t changed a bit,’ Daniel continued, being unusually vocal. ‘You’re still the same fiery redhead who’ll never give in’. Holly did her best to hide the surprise she felt at his words: this was not how she thought of herself at all. In fact, she would have described herself as completely the opposite. Especially when it came to Daniel. Throughout the entire time they were together, she’d thought she was always the one who’d given in and compromised. And as for being fiery? She’d always regarded the ‘fiery redhead’ as something of a false stereotype, and herself as a living counterexample.

  ‘You don’t have to say anything, but judging by the sex, I can tell you missed me too. I would have come and found you sooner if I’d known just how much,’ Daniel quipped, reverting to his arrogant self. Holly was in no doubt that he believed every word of it. And, just maybe, he was the teeny tiniest smallest smidgen of an iota right.

  ‘Nah, it was okay, I suppose,’ Holly responded as nonchalantly as she could. If she was honest, she’d loved every minute of it—not that Daniel needed to know that little nugget of information. ‘I’ve had better though. Maybe you should try again,’ she added suggestively.

  ‘Oh really,’ Daniel growled, needing no further encouragement. And he kissed her to signify the beginning of Round Two.

  Chapter 3

  It was lunchtime by the time Holly managed to get in to the office. After Daniel had left, promising he’d be in touch soon, she’d been in somewhat of a dreamy daze, and it had taken her forever to get her head out of her orgasmic clouds and pull herself together into some semblance of order and coherence. Holly felt good, and for the first time in a long while, she felt she had a spring in her step.

  ‘Oh my God!’ Chloe, her best friend and assistant, practically shouted across the design office as Holly came through the door.

  ‘What?’ Holly asked, unable to rid her expression of its rapidly permeating guilt.

  ‘You had sex!’ Chloe exclaimed, loudly enough for the entire office to hear. The office numbered only seven, but this wa
sn’t something Holly particularly wanted her subordinates to know about.

  ‘A word, Chloe? In private, if you please,’ Holly said firmly, widening her eyes and ushering her friend into the kitchen pantry and hopefully away from prying ears.

  ‘So, details…’ Chloe demanded, as she set about making coffee.

  ‘Oh, Chloe, you’re going to think I’m mad. How can you tell, anyway?’

  ‘Oh please, Holly. It’s written all over your face—not to mention the dazed and confused look in your eyes. Plus, you never cancel client meetings. I figured you would have told me if it was a life-or-death emergency, so I logically concluded it must be the only other possibility. You got yourself some action. And might I say, it’s about bloody time. I know you’ve gotten close a few times, but I don’t think you’ve actually been—well, you know, all the way—since that bloody husband of yours. That one, he damaged you, and I can’t tell you how pleased I am that you’ve broken your duck,’ Chloe concluded, suddenly aware that she’d been talking for a long time and that Holly was suspiciously quiet.

  ‘Holly?’ Chloe probed, eyeing her friend closely. Holly remained mute and stared into her coffee mug.

  ‘Holly Percival!’ Chloe chided. ‘Did you have sex with that good-for-nothing ex-husband of yours?’

  ‘Maybe,’ Holly squeaked, struggling to meet Chloe’s eye. Now was not the time to tell her friend that she wasn’t actually divorced. Officially.

  ‘You shouldn’t have slept with him, Holly,’ Chloe scolded.

  ‘I couldn’t deny myself, Chloe,’ Holly said, forcing herself to look at her friend. ‘Seriously, it’s been so long—and he was interested in me. Me. I know I’m bad, but I just couldn’t help myself. This morning, for the first time in ages I felt like someone more than just Harry’s mum.’