For the Sake of Their Son

by Catherine Mann

  * * *

  With the baby nursing, Lucy Ann curled up in her massive bed. She took comfort in the routine of feeding her child, the sweet softness of his precious cheek against her breast. With her life turning upside down so fast, she needed something familiar to hold on to.

  The medieval decor wrapped her in a timeless fantasy she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with. The castle had tapestries on the wall and sconces with bulbs that flickered like flames. Her four-poster bed had heavy drapes around it, the wooden pillars as thick as any warrior’s chest. An arm’s reach away waited a bassinet, a shiny reproduction of an antique wooden cradle for Eli.

  Her eyes gravitated toward the tapestry across the room telling a love story about a knight romancing a maiden by a river. Elliot had chosen well. She couldn’t help but be charmed by this place. Even her supper was served authentically in a trencher, with water in a goblet.

  A plush, woven rug on the stone floor, along with the low snap of the fire in the hearth, kept out the chilly spring night. The sound system piped madrigal music as if the group played in a courtyard below.

  Through the slightly opened door, she saw the sitting room where Elliot was parked at a desk, his computer in front of him. Reviewing stats on his competitors? Or a million other details related to the racing season? She missed being a part of all that, but he had a new assistant, a guy who did his job so seamlessly he blended into the background.

  And speaking of work, she had some of her own to complete. Once Eli finished nursing and went to bed there would be nothing for her to do but complete the two projects she hadn’t been able to put on hold.

  She’d expected Elliot to try to make a move on her once they got inside, but the suite had three bedrooms off the living area. One for her and one for him. The British nanny he’d hired had settled into the third, turning in after Lucy Ann made it clear Eli would stay with his mother tonight. While Mrs. Clayworth kept a professional face in place, the furrows along her forehead made it clear that she wondered at the lack of work on this job.

  This whole setup delivered everything Elliot had promised, a unique luxury she could see her son enjoying someday. Any family would relish these fairy-tale accommodations. It was beyond tempting.

  Elliot was beyond tempting.

  Lucy Ann tore her eyes from her lifetime friend and onetime lover. This month was going to be a lot more difficult than she’d anticipated.

  Desperate for some grounding in reality before she weakened, she reached for her phone, for the present, and called her aunt Carla.

  * * *

  She’d made it through the night, even if the covers on the bed behind her were a rumpled mess from her restless tossing and turning.

  Lucy Ann sat at the desk at the tower window with her laptop, grateful to Carla for the bolstering. Too bad she couldn’t come join them on this trip, but Carla was emphatic. She loved her home and her life. She was staying where she belonged.

  Who could blame her? A sense of belonging was a rare gift Lucy Ann hadn’t quite figured out how to capture yet. In South Carolina, she’d dreamed of getting out, and here she craved the familiarity of home.

  Which made her feel like a total ingrate.

  She was living the easy life, one any new mother would embrace. How ironic that at home she’d spent every day exhausted, feeling like Eli’s naps were always a few minutes too short to accomplish what she needed to do. And now, she spent most of her time waiting for him to wake up.

  She closed her laptop, caught up on work, dressed for the day, waiting to leave for Elliot’s race. She still couldn’t wrap her brain around how different this trip was from ones she’d shared with Elliot in the past. Staring out the window in their tower suite, she watched the sun cresting higher over the manicured grounds.

  Last night, she’d actually slept in a castle. The restored structure was the epitome of luxury and history all rolled into one. She’d even pulled out her camera and snapped some photos to use for a client’s web design. Her fingers already itched to get to the computer and play with the images, but Elliot was due back soon.

  He’d gone to the track for prelim work, his race scheduled for tomorrow. Normally he arrived even earlier before an event, but the wedding had muddled his schedule. God, she hoped his concentration was rock solid. The thought of him in a wreck because she’d damaged his focus sent her stomach roiling. Why hadn’t she considered this before? She should have told him about Eli earlier for so many reasons.

  She was familiar with everything about his work world. She’d been his personal assistant for over a decade, in charge of every detail of his career, his life. And even in their time apart she’d kept up with him and the racing world online. Formula One racing in Spain alternated locations every year, Barcelona to Valencia and back again. She knew his preferences for routes like Valencia, with the street track bordering the harbor. She was used to being busy, in charge—not sitting around a castle twiddling her thumbs, eating fruit and cheese from medieval pottery.

  Being waited on by staff, nannies and chauffeurs, being at loose ends, felt alien, to say the least. But she’d agreed to give him a chance this month. She would stick to her word.

  As if conjured from her thoughts, Elliot appeared in the arched doorway between the living area and her bedroom. Jeans hugged his lean hips, his turtleneck shirt hugging a well-defined chest. Her mouth watered as she considered what he would do if she walked across the room, leaned against his chest to kiss him, tucked her hands in his back pockets and savored the chemistry simmering between them.

  She swallowed hard. “Are you here for lunch?”

  “I’m here for you and Eli.” He held out a cashmere sweater of his. “In case you get chilly on our outing.”

  “Outing?” she asked to avoid taking the sweater until she could figure out what to do next.

  She’d worn pieces of Elliot’s clothes countless times over the years without a second thought, but the notion of wrapping his sweater around her now felt so intimate that desire pooled between her legs. However, to reject the sweater would make an issue of it, revealing feelings that made her too vulnerable, a passion she still didn’t know how to control yet.

  Gingerly, she took the sweater from him, the cashmere still warm from his touch. “Where are we going?”

  He smiled mysteriously. “It’s another surprise for you and Eli.”

  “Can’t I even have a hint?” She hugged the sweater close, finding she was enjoying his game more than she should.

  “We’re going to play.” He scooped his son up from the cradle in sure hands. “Right, Eli, buddy? We’re going to take good care of your mama today. If she agrees to come with me, of course.”

  The sight of their son cradled in Elliot’s broad hands brought her heart into her throat. She’d imagined moments like this, dreamed of how she would introduce him to their child. Day after day, her plan had altered as she delayed yet again.

  And why? Truly, why? She still wasn’t sure she understood why she’d made all the decisions she’d made these past months. She needed to use her time wisely to figure out the best way to navigate their future.

  She tugged on the sweater. “Who am I to argue with such a tempting offer? Let’s go play.”

  They left the suite and traveled down the sweeping stone stairway without a word, passing other guests as well as the staff dressed in period garb. The massive front doors even creaked as they swept open to reveal the waiting limousine.

  Stepping out into the sunshine, she took in the incredible lawns. The modern-day buzz of cars and airplanes mixed with the historical landscaping that followed details down to the drawbridge over a moat.

  The chauffeur opened the limo door for her. Lucy Ann slid inside, then extended her arms for her child. Elliot passed over Eli as easily as if they were a regular family.

  Lucy An
n hugged her son close for a second, breathing in the baby-powder-fresh scent of him before securing Eli into his car seat. “Shouldn’t you be preparing for race day?”

  Getting his head together. Resting. Focusing.

  “I know what I need to do,” he answered as if reading her mind. He sat across from her, his long legs extended, his eyes holding hers. “That doesn’t mean we can’t have time together today.”

  “I don’t want to be the cause of your exhaustion or lack of focus because you felt the need to entertain me.” She’d been so hurt and angry for a year, she’d lost sight of other feelings. Race day was exciting and terrifying at the same time. “I’ve been a part of your world for too long to let you be reckless.”

  “Trust me. I have more reason than ever to be careful. You and Eli are my complete and total focus now.”

  There was no mistaking the certainty and resolve in his voice. Her fears eased somewhat, which made room for her questions about the day to come back to the fore. “At least tell me something about your plans for today. Starting with, where are we going?”

  He leaned to open the minifridge and pulled out two water bottles. “Unless you object, we are going to the San Miguel de los Reyes Monastery.”

  She sat up straighter, surprised, intrigued. She took the water bottle from him. “I’m not sure I understand your plan....”

  “The monastery has been converted into a library. We’ve never had a chance to visit before on other trips.” He twisted open his spring water. “In fact, as I look back, we both worked nonstop, all the time. As I reevaluate, I’m realizing now a little sightseeing won’t set us behind.”

  “That’s certainly a one-eighty from the past. You’ve always been a very driven man—no pun intended.” She smiled at her halfhearted joke, feeling more than a little off balance by this change in Elliot. “I’ll just say thank-you. This is a very thoughtful idea. Although I’m curious. What made you decide on this particular outing when there are so many more obvious tourist sites we haven’t visited?”

  “You sparked the idea when we were on the airplane, actually.” He rolled the bottle between his palms. “You mentioned not believing in fairy tales anymore. That is why I chose the castle. Fairy tales are important for any kid...and I think we’ve both lost sight of that.”

  “We’re adults.” With adult wants and needs. Like the need to peel off his forest-green turtleneck and faded jeans.

  “Even as kids, we were winging it with those fairy tales. Then we both grew jaded so young.” He shrugged muscular shoulders. “So it’s time for us to learn more about fairy tales so we can be good parents. Speaking of which, is Eli buckled in?”

  “Of course.”

  “Good.” He tapped on the window for the chauffeur to go. “Just in case you were wondering, I’m calling this the Beauty and the Beast plan.”

  They were honest-to-goodness going to a library. She sagged back, stunned and charmed all at once.

  God, she thought she’d seen all his moves over the years—moves he’d used on other women. He’d always been more...boisterous. More obvious.

  This was different. Subtle. Damn good.

  “So I’m to be Belle to your beast.”

  “A Southern belle, yes, and you’ve called me a beast in the past. Besides, you know how much I enjoy books and history. I thought you might find some interesting photo opportunities along the way.”

  “You really are okay with a pedestrian stroll through a library.” The Elliot she’d known all her life had always been on the go, scaling the tallest tree, racing down the steepest hill, looking for the edgiest challenge. But he did enjoy unwinding with a good book, too. She forgot about that side of him sometimes.

  “I’m not a Cro-Magnon...even though I’m playing the beast. I do read. I even use a napkin at dinnertime.” He waggled his eyebrows at her, his old playful nature more evident.

  She wished she could have just slugged him on the shoulder as if they were thirteen again. Things had been simpler then on some levels—and yet not easy at all on others.

  “You’re right. I shouldn’t have been surprised.”

  “Let’s stop making assumptions about each other from now on about a lot of things. We’ve been friends for years, but even friends change, grow, even a man like me can mature when he’s ready. Thanks to you and Eli, I’m ready now.”

  She wanted to believe him, to believe in him. She wanted to shake off a past where the people she cared about always let her down. Hundreds of times over the past eleven months she’d guessed at what his reaction would be if she told him about the baby.

  She’d known he would come through for her. The part that kept haunting her, that kept her from trying... She could never figure out how she would know if he’d come through out of duty or something more.

  The thought that she could yearn for more between the two of them scared her even now. She was much better off taking this one day at a time.

  “Okay, Elliot—” she spread her arms wide “—I’m all-in...for our day at the monastery.”

  As she settled in for her date, she couldn’t help wondering which was tougher: resisting the fairy-tale man who seemed content to ignore the past year or facing the reality of her lifelong friend who had every reason to be truly angry with her.

  Regardless, at some point the past would catch up with both of them. They could only play games for so long before they had to deal with their shared parenthood.

  * * *

  Wearing a baseball cap with the brim tugged low, Elliot soaked in the sight of Lucy Ann’s appreciation of the frescoes and ancient tomes as she filled a memory card with photos of the monastery turned library. He should have thought to do this for her sooner. The place was relatively deserted, a large facility with plenty of places for tourists to spread out. A school tour had passed earlier, but the echoes of giggles had faded thirty minutes ago. No one recognized him, and the bodyguards hung back unobtrusively. For all intents and purposes, he and Lucy Ann were just a regular family on vacation.

  Why had he never thought to bring her to places like this before? He’d convinced himself he was taking care of her by offering her a job and a life following him around the world. But somehow he’d missed out on giving her so much more. He’d let her down when they were teenagers and he’d gotten arrested, leaving her alone to deal with her family. Now to find out he’d been selfish as an adult too. That didn’t sit well with him.

  So he had more to fix. He and Lucy Ann were bound by their child for life, but he didn’t intend to take that part for granted. He would work his tail off to be more for her this time.

  He set the brake on the stroller by a looming marble angel. “You’re quiet. Anything I can get for you?”

  She glanced away from her camera, looking back over her shoulder at him. “Everything’s perfect. Thank you. I’m enjoying the peace. And the frescoes as well as the ornately bound books. This was a wonderful idea for how to spend the afternoon.”

  Yet all day long she’d kept that camera between them, snapping photos. For work? For pleasure?

  Or to keep from looking at him?

  Tired of the awkward silence, he pushed on, “If you’re having fun, then why aren’t you smiling?”

  She lowered the camera slowly, pivoting to face him. Her eyes were wary. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

  “Lucy Ann, it’s me here. Elliot. Can we pretend it’s fifteen years ago and just be honest with each other?”

  She nibbled her bottom lip for a moment before blurting out, “I appreciate what you’re doing, that you’re trying, but I keep waiting for the explosion.”

  He scratched over his closely shorn hair, which brought memories of sprinting away from a burning car. “I thought we cleared that up in the limo. I’m not going to wreck tomorrow.”

  “And I’m not talkin
g about that now.” She tucked the camera away slowly, pausing as an older couple meandered past looking at a brochure map of the museum. Once they cleared the small chapel area, she turned back to him and said softly, “I’m talking about an explosion of anger. You have to be mad at me for not telling you about Eli sooner. I accept that it was wrong of me not to try harder. I just keep wondering when the argument will happen.”

  God, was she really expecting him to go ballistic on her? He would never, never be like his father. He used his racing as an outlet for those aggressive feelings. He did what he needed to do to stay in control. Always.

  Maybe he wasn’t as focused as he claimed to be, because if he’d been thinking straight he would have realized that Lucy Ann would misunderstand. She’d spent her life on shaky ground growing up, her mother hooking up with a different boyfriend or husband every week. Beyond that, she’d always stepped in for others, a quiet warrior in her own right.

  “You always did take the blame for things.”

  “What does that have to do with today?”

  He gestured for her to sit on a pew, then joined her. “When we were kids, you took the blame for things I did—like breaking the aquarium and letting the snake loose in the school.”

  She smiled nostalgically. “And cutting off Sharilynn’s braid. Not a nice thing to do at all, by the way.”

  “She was mean to you. She deserved it.” He and Lucy Ann had been each other’s champions in those days. “But you shouldn’t have told the teacher you did it. You ended up cleaning the erasers for a week.”

  “I enjoyed staying after school. And my mom didn’t do anything except laugh, then make me write an apology and do some extra chores.” She looked down at her hands twisted in her lap. “Your father wouldn’t have laughed if the school called him.”

  “You’re right there.” He scooped up her hand and held on. It was getting easier and easier for them to be together again. As much as he hated revisiting the past, if it worked to bring her back into his life, he would walk over hot coals in hell for her. “You protected me every bit as much as I tried to protect you.”