Christmas Magic in Heatherdale

by Abigail Gordon

  They had something that she was not likely to ever have, a loving family bond, because she had fallen in love with Rhianna and Martha’s father. He was the only man she would ever want to give her a child and as the chances of that were not good, childless she would stay.

  ‘You look very serious,’ Ryan said suddenly from beside her. ‘If it’s about the grave, a few more hours the first chance I get we’ll have it sorted.’

  The grave was the last thing on her mind but thanks were due for his assistance.

  ‘I’m most grateful for you taking over,’ she told him stiltedly. ‘Any improvement will be better than it was and, now, if you will excuse me, I need to change out of these clothes into something less drab than my grave-cleaning outfit.’

  ‘Yes, sure,’ he agreed, and it was there again, the memory of when he’d made love to her, taunting him, reproving him for how he’d treated her afterwards.

  * * *

  The hospital was already full of Christmas cheer, with a beautifully decorated spruce in the grounds and another in the entrance hall, and for the staff there was a ball arranged to take place a couple of weeks before.

  Julian was hoping to be mobile enough to attend and was expecting an enthusiastic response from Melissa at the news, but as far as she was concerned if Ryan wasn’t going to be there because of his domestic duties, or for any other reason, it would put a blight on the occasion.

  * * *

  With Christmas being so near, Melissa was turning her thoughts to presents for the children next door and a wedding gift for the bride-to-be. With regard to Ryan it would be like trespassing into his privacy to buy a personal gift, so it would have to be something basic that didn’t give off any messages other than Christmas good wishes.

  From his manner after those never-to-be-forgotten moments when he’d made love to her it had been clear that he’d felt it vital to point out that it had been just a moment of hunger for her that had been the cause of it. With the hurt of that forever in her mind he need have no concern that she was going to use the magic and romance of Christmas to tempt him again.

  She smiled a wintry smile. What were the least personal of gifts for the opposite sex? Socks, scarf, handkerchiefs, toiletries, book token?

  What about a romp with a junior doctor? From the way he’d described it, there had been nothing personal about that, either.

  * * *

  On the Friday night before the staff ball Melissa went shopping, and as she walked past the house next door on her way to the town centre it was ablaze with light. The curtains were drawn back and she could see Ryan and children seated at the dining table, having their meal. Longing swept over her in a painful tide as any impetus to shop drained away at the sight.

  For a moment she almost turned back, but returning to her empty house would make the evening seem even more desolate. Better to be among the crowds of late-night Christmas shoppers than cooped up on her own.

  It turned out to be the right thing to do. The shops were ablaze with all the reminders of the time of year they could think of, and inside them the public were buying gifts that would be brought out into the open only on the day.

  Choosing a present for Mollie was no problem. A wedding gift voucher from the elegant department store where they’d chosen the girl’s dresses didn’t take long, and neither did a talking teddy bear each for Rhianna and Martha.

  About to take the escalator to the floor above that to Menswear, she stopped, her eyes widening.

  * * *

  Ryan and the children had been on the point of finishing their meal when Melissa had passed the house earlier looking less than happy, and he had immediately gone into the kitchen where Mollie was tidying up and said, ‘I’ve just seen Melissa go past looking lost and lonely. Could you hang on here for a little while longer, so that I can go after her to make sure that she’s all right?’

  ‘Yes, of course,’ she said immediately. ‘That lovely girl has nobody else to care about her except us. Take as long as you like.’

  ‘All right, no need to push it, Mollie. I have got eyes in my head, you know.’ He opened the front door. ‘I’m presuming she was off to do some late-night shopping, would you agree?’

  ‘Almost certainly’ was the reply. ‘The shops are open late tonight. Try the department store where we shopped for the girls’ outfits. It’s classy and so is she!’

  Groaning at Mollie’s second plug in favour of the only woman he’d ever cared about since Beth had been taken from him, he went, heading off towards the town centre.

  * * *

  There was only one man that she knew with hair like gold and eyes as blue as a summer sky. Melissa watched Ryan making his way towards her through the crowds. But how could that be? It was only a short time since she’d seen Ryan and his children having their evening meal.

  He was beside her in seconds, relieved to have found her so quickly. Taking her arm he drew her to one side. Observing him anxiously, she asked, ‘What’s wrong? I saw you eating at home not long ago.’

  He was smiling. ‘That was then, this is now. I saw you pass and thought you looked lost and lonely so I followed you to make sure that you were all right.’

  She felt tears prickle her eyes. He cared enough to come chasing after her from just a fleeting glance through the window, but not enough to want her in his home, his bed and his heart. She knew where she belonged but he didn’t.

  ‘I’m fine,’ she told him with a brittle smile. ‘I came to do my Christmas shopping for the only people I know as I’m short on family and friends. I also came to get a wedding gift for Mollie and Jack. I take it she’s with Rhianna and Martha?’

  ‘Yes, of course,’ he told her evenly, and wondered if Julian was on her list. If what he’d seen outside his office window that day was anything to go by, he might have graduated to the top of it. But for the present the moment was his. He’d found Melissa, and Mollie had said there was no need for him to rush back.

  ‘Let me take you for a coffee,’ he suggested, ‘or we could be more upmarket and go to a wine bar. I’m not too pushed for time.’

  She was wearing the fake fur hat and coat again and was very much the elegant shopper, but there was strain in her expression, her dark hazel gaze was asking for answers to the questions that filled her mind and without setting too much store on his importance in her life he knew that he was most likely the cause of it.

  ‘Yes, all right,’ she agreed, to his surprise. ‘Whatever you decide will be fine.’

  ‘We’ll go to a new place that has just opened near the pump room. I was there the other night and it is quite something.’

  He’d seen her expression and said, ‘It was on a private consultation. The guy and his wife who own the place are the son and daughter-in-law of the chairman of the hospital board and they’d asked for a visit to their small daughter in their apartment above the wine bar. So, you see, I wasn’t living it up,’ he said dryly. ‘Mollie was doing the honours once again and I nearly asked you to go with me for the experience...and the company.’

  ‘But you didn’t,’ she commented, as they made their way out of the store amongst the jostling crowds.

  ‘No, I didn’t. It was Tuesday night and it had been an exhausting day for us both, if you remember. It hardly seemed fair to ask you to work on into the evening.’

  It was only half-true. It had been on his mind to ask her to accompany him ever since the chairman’s urgent phone call that morning. He only felt alive in her presence, and when she wasn’t there he lived on the memory of her in his arms, giving herself to him trustingly, completely, only to be rejected when his sanity had returned.

  And then, hoping to lessen the hurt he’d caused her, he’d got himself involved in the task of cleaning up that filthy grave with Beth’s beautiful white marble gleaming not far away in a wintry sun. He doubted it was enough to earn her forgiveness.

  He was steering her across the busy main street with his hand beneath her elbow and as she looked up at him
questioningly he said, ‘What?’

  ‘The little girl you went to see, what was the problem?’

  ‘I’m not sure until I get the results back from tests that I’ve arranged. There was something rather puzzling about her condition.’

  ‘So are you going to tell me what you think it might be?’

  ‘No. This is the two of us spending a short time together away from everything else in our lives.’

  ‘We won’t be away from everything if the little girl’s parents are at the wine bar,’ she pointed out.

  He shook his head. ‘They won’t be. They’re staying the weekend at the grandparents’ place, the chairman’s house. Otherwise I wouldn’t be taking you there as it would seem rather tasteless, don’t you think?’

  ‘Yes, I do,’ she agreed, and thought it would also be tasteless if Ryan was using their meeting in the department store as an opportunity to spare her some of his precious time, with the get-away excuse, whenever he chose to use it, of Mollie waiting to be relieved from childminding.

  He had stopped outside what had to be the wine bar. Soft lights were spreading their glow onto the pavement outside another of Heatherdale’s attractive stone buildings and she hoped that it wasn’t going to be one of those places with low lighting and intimate corners.

  It wasn’t. When they went inside it was warm, well lit, and crowded. He saw her smile and thought that at least one of them was pleased.

  When he’d gone through the bar area on the Tuesday night to get to the apartment above, it had been deserted, but tonight was Friday of course. ‘Shall we go somewhere else?’ he suggested, not wanting to forego the pleasure of some quiet time together that they weren’t going to get in that place.

  ‘No,’ she told him. ‘Maybe just the one drink and then home.’ She glanced at the shopping that he’d been carrying for her. ‘We’re not exactly dressed for Friday night on the town and Mollie needs to be relieved. I’ll stay with the children while you take her home.’

  He almost groaned out loud. Having got her to himself for once, Melissa was all for rushing back home. She’d been wary of being alone with him ever since they’d made love. Was there ever going to be any clarity in their lives away from the hospital?

  Workwise they were in complete harmony, both with the same dedication, but away from that there was nothing to hold on to. He wasn’t going to let the opportunity to talk about themselves go by, even if only for a short time, and when they’d found a table and he’d been to the bar Ryan asked, ‘Would you like to spend Christmas Day with us, Melissa? The children would love it, if you haven’t already made other arrangements.’

  She smiled a twisted smile. What other arrangements could she have made in a place where she knew no one and had no connections other than those she worked with? The alternative would be booking a solitary meal at some restaurant.

  ‘It’s very kind of you to invite me,’ she said stiffly, ‘and I would love to be with the children on such a special day, but I wouldn’t want the invitation to be a drag on you personally at a time that will have painful memories.’

  ‘Having you with us will help to put them into the right perspective,’ he told her, and was amazed how much he meant it. ‘So what do you say?’ He smiled. ‘Would you be willing to sample my cooking?’

  ‘Yes, I would,’ she said. ‘I really would. I’d love to spend Christmas Day with your children.’

  She hadn’t mentioned looking forward to spending the day with him but between now and then he would work on it, just as long as he didn’t allow himself to be sidetracked by responsibilities that he was hesitant about sharing with anyone else.

  With a lighter heart than when he’d found her in the department store he said, ‘Maybe we should make tracks. As you so rightly pointed out, we ought to be relieving Mollie.’

  As they walked the short distance to their respective houses there was new harmony between them that Melissa prayed would last, and that she wasn’t setting herself up for more heartache.

  * * *

  They found the children asleep and Mollie painstakingly retrieving dropped stitches in Rhianna’s knitting when they got back. On seeing their expressions, the older woman thought thankfully that the short time they’d spent together seemed to have brought them closer.

  When he came back after seeing Mollie safely home, Melissa was ready to leave, and he protested, ‘Surely you have time for a coffee?’

  She was turning to go and shook her head. ‘I have things to do, Ryan.’

  ‘I’m still not forgiven for what happened between us, am I? Our working relationship is second to none, but our private lives are lagging behind, and I’m to blame but, Melissa, I am working on it.’

  She was weakening. ‘It isn’t your fault that you lost the wife that you loved so much, and your devotion to her memory is very special. But what about your children’s needs? Do you remember what Rhianna asked Santa for?’

  ‘Yes. I am hardly likely to forget that. She asked for a mummy, which was not the first time since you came into our lives, but I’m not going to fill the gap for the sake of my small daughter’s request to Santa. It is the agony of such a loss that I couldn’t face again that makes me hesitate. Do you understand?’

  She was across the room and holding him in her arms. ‘Yes, I do,’ she told him softly. ‘It would be so much easier if I didn’t, but I do.’

  Brushing her lips gently across his cheek, she held him closer and when he turned his head the kisses were there and everything became a blur of aching need until he eased himself out of her arms.

  Looking down at her gravely, he said, ‘I don’t want to hurt you any more, Melissa. I’m going to make that coffee and afterwards I’ll see you safely back to your place.’

  She nodded, unable to speak because her heart was racing and her bones melting as he disappeared into the kitchen.

  When he came back with the drinks Ryan said surprisingly, ‘Am I right in thinking that our friend Julian lusts after you? I saw that kiss out there in the hospital car park and let’s face it, he wouldn’t bring any baggage with him, would he?’

  ‘That was Julian trying his hand at matchmaking between the two of us, instead of his usual womanising,’ she informed him with the euphoria of previous moments disappearing. ‘I do not sleep around with the likes of him, neither do I like to be described as husband-hunting, and if ever you decide that we do have a future together I would feel blessed to have Rhianna and Martha to love and care for, just in case you have any issues about that.’

  She was on her feet and placing the coffee cup carefully on to a nearby table when she said, ‘I can see myself out.’ As he came towards her she shook her head and before he could protest she was gone.

  * * *

  Saturday dragged by with the thought of the ball in the evening bringing no feeling of anticipation. If it wasn’t for the fact that Julian was to be there and expecting a fuss from everyone at his reappearance, Melissa would have given it a miss. She couldn’t even muster the enthusiasm to come up with an outfit for the evening ahead.

  One thing she wasn’t short of was clothes, expensive ones that she’d been loath to part with when settling her father’s debts. Her smart car, her jewellery had all gone into the seemingly bottomless pit, but her clothes she’d managed to save and somewhere amongst them were a couple of evening dresses carefully protected against the chill that was ever present in her grandmother’s house.

  They hadn’t discussed the ball since his put-down after they’d made love. When it had been mentioned before then it had seemed that it was one occasion when he was prepared to socialise and let his children do one of their favourite things—spend the night at Mollie’s.

  So she had half expected that they would go together for the sake of convenience if nothing else, but things had changed between them since then and if he suggested they go together now she would refuse. There was no point in starting hospital gossip when there was nothing to comment about.

  S
he was going to go use a taxi to transport her there and back. That way her arrangements could be best controlled. The thought of an early departure might seem tempting as the evening wore on.

  When she tried on the dresses the choice wasn’t easy. A black low-cut number that fitted the smooth lines of her body like a glove or a high-necked sleeveless dress of pale cream silk that accentuated the dark sheen of her hair and luminous hazel eyes were the choices before her.

  She was drawn towards the black with an urge to show her neighbour that she was more than the drab girl next door, much more.

  But the jewellery sold to help clear the debt had left her without the kind of relief that the black dress would need, whereas the cream number’s high neck needed no such adornments.

  So putting the thought of sophistication to one side, when the time came to dress for the evening ahead her choice was going to be that with long elbow-length gloves to match the dress and conceal her lack of finery.

  * * *

  After the rebuff of the night before, Ryan had spent the day cleaning the car in the morning and then taking the girls to the cinema to see a children’s Christmas movie in the afternoon. Mollie had been to collect them and a brooding silence lay over the house.

  There had been no sightings of Melissa all day and as the minutes dragged past he knew that he could not let her make her own way to something like the ball in the town centre when she hardly knew the place.

  It would be churlish not to offer to take her. If she refused, so be it, but at least he would have offered, and if she preferred to spend the evening with Julian and his cronies he would have to endure it because she must be weary of him forever bleating about his responsibilities.

  When she opened the door to him his eyes widened. He had yet to shower and change into a dinner suit, but she was ready, beautiful, and desirable in a fantastic dress.

  ‘I came to ask how you intend to get to the ball,’ he said levelly.

  ‘Why? I’m going by taxi. I was just about to ring for one,’ she replied, hiding her dismay at the sight of him showing no sign of being ready himself. Was Ryan not going because she was?