The Boy Who Has No Belief (Soulless Book 7)

by Victoria Quinn

  I gave her a nudge in the side. “So maybe you should be a little nicer to me.”

  She scrunched up her nose. “That’s just unnatural.”

  I chuckled because I knew she was joking.

  They brought out the pizza, and Derek let us go first before he grabbed a slice and put it on his plate.

  Lizzie blurted out her next question. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

  Derek stilled in mid-bite, covering up his hesitation quickly as if nothing had happened. He took his time chewing like he was stalling for an answer.

  “Lizzie,” I said. “That was rude. Don’t ask personal questions.”

  “I was just curious.” She picked up her pizza and took a big bite.

  Derek never answered the question, probably because he didn’t want to lie, but also because he didn’t want to say yes and have her ask him more questions, which would force him to lie. It was better not to say anything at all. “Are your other teachers like Mr. Franklin?”

  “Um, a couple.” She shrugged as she kept eating. “But my English teacher is cool. Some of the other teachers are stuffy and sometimes just like whatever, but none of them are nearly as bad as Mr. Franklin. I feel like all he wants to do is fail us. He just teaches on the whiteboard and hands out worksheets. He doesn’t take questions. He’s…weird. People in my class say he’s tenured so he doesn’t care.”

  Derek gave a slight nod like that didn’t surprise him. “The tenure idea was established to protect teachers. It’s a good idea. Educators are the people forming new adults to go out into the world. But some people take advantage of that system and basically stop doing their jobs because they know they can’t get fired. Even if a teacher does something really terrible, they can’t be let go. They can be on permanent sabbatical and get an early retirement, basically. They should implement another policy that gives them a reason to keep working hard, like pay raises.” Derek spoke to Lizzie like she was an adult rather than a kid, and I wondered if that was why she liked him so much. He had no experience with kids, so he didn’t know how to treat her in a different capacity.

  Lizzie nodded like she agreed and kept eating. “What’s it like to go to private school?”

  He shrugged. “It’s all the same subjects—just taught differently. When you don’t receive state or city funding, it allows education to adapt and grow, which is something I like about it. Public education is constrained by federal and state guidelines, so it’s prevented from evolving. But it’s still the same subjects, the same hours, stuff like that.”

  She continued to eat.

  I wished I could put Lizzie in private school, but it was just too expensive. I would have to choose—for her to go to private school or to have money for college. I chose college because that would be a huge financial burden for her, and I didn’t have many assets to leave her when I was gone someday. Her education was the only gift I could give her.

  Lizzie ate more than either of us, scarfing down slice after slice.

  Derek stared at her, clearly amused.

  When we were finished, Derek paid the tab, and we walked outside.

  Ronnie was there, and he started the engine.

  “Can I give you guys a ride home?” Derek asked, sliding his hands into his pockets and keeping several feet between us, like he was overcompensating for his real affection for me.

  “You’ve done enough,” I said. “We can walk. It’s only a couple blocks.”

  He didn’t argue like he normally would. He just accepted it.

  “Thank you for the pizza,” I said. “And you know…yelling at her teacher.”

  Derek smiled slightly, the amusement in his eyes. “You’re welcome.”

  Lizzie walked up to him and gave him an unexpected hug. “Thanks for having my back, Derek.”

  He stilled at her affection, his arms rising slightly, like he had no idea what to do. His eyes widened, and he stared at me, asking for direction.

  I moved my arms in front of me, showing him to hug her.

  He moved slightly, but instead of doing what I suggested, he placed his hand on her back and gave her a gentle pat. “I always have your back, Lizzie.”

  She pulled away, gave him a big smile, and then came back to me. “See you later!” She waved then walked beside me. “He’s the coolest guy ever, Mom. You’re so lucky he’s your boss.”

  I was lucky that he was a lot more than that. “Yeah…he’s great.”

  Lizzie faced my mom in the kitchen and told her the whole thing, blow-by-blow. “And then he was like, ‘Oh, why don’t we go down to the principal’s office and tell him you’re a dumbass?’ and then Mr. Franklin just stood there like he pooped his khakis. Derek totally ripped into him, Grandma! He said I was smart and I was gonna get an A in that class, and it’s not my fault that he’s too stupid to understand the math I’m doing that’s being taught by this super genius. It was sooooo cool.” Lizzie kept going on and on.

  My mom stood there with a grin on her face. “Sounds like Derek told that teacher where to go.”

  “He totally did. He’s awesome, Grandma.”

  I gave Lizzie a pat on the back. “Alright, it’s been a very exciting day, but it’s getting late so time to shower and get ready for bed.”

  “How am I supposed to sleep?” Lizzie asked incredulously. “I’m gonna be the coolest girl in school tomorrow.”

  “No one was there, Lizzie.”

  “Oh, but I’m going to tell everyone. And tons of people saw Derek, so I get to tell them I know him!” She grabbed her backpack off the counter and walked into the hallway so she could do what I told her.

  My mom waited until the door was closed before she talked to me. “So…sounds like the two of them are getting along.”

  “She’s pretty enamored of him.”

  “That’s great. I guess I was wrong about him.”

  Yes, she was. “Derek seems to like her too. You should have heard the way he talked about Lizzie…saying how bright she was and that she could do anything, and it seemed like he meant it. And when he looked at her worksheet and saw that she got them all right, he had this look on his face, like that really made him happy.”

  She smiled. “He sounds like a good man, Emmy.”

  “Yes, he is.”

  She came to me and gave me a one-armed hug. “When do you think we’ll be able to meet him? You know, officially? Sit down together and have dinner or something?”

  “I’m not sure. I’m not sure when I’m going to tell Lizzie he’s not just my boss.”

  “Well, from the way she talks about him, it sounds like she’d be thrilled about it, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Yeah…”

  She patted me on the back and stepped away, ready to go across the hall and join my dad in bed. “You know, not a lot of men would have the balls to do something like that.”

  “I know.” Raising Lizzie on my own had been challenging in a lot of ways, but I’d never felt like I needed a partner to do it. But having Derek around made me realize how nice it would be to have someone else by my side, to have someone who could teach her things I couldn’t, to have a strong male figure who showed her what being a man was supposed to be like. My father was the only male figure in her life, but he was her grandfather, so it was a different relationship. It was nice to have Derek walk in there and tell off Mr. Franklin in a profound way that I never would have pulled off. If I’d raised my voice, I would have been called a bitch, and he wouldn’t have budged in his decision to fail Lizzie. He would have pushed back harder and used his power against me because I was a woman. But with Derek, he stood no chance. I’d never needed a man for anything, but now that I had one, it was nice. It was nice to have someone to do the heavy lifting, to defend my daughter in a way I couldn’t.

  My mom stared at me, like she knew the thoughts running through my head. “Tell him he has my approval.”

  I wore a slight smile as I watched her leave my apartment. “Thanks, Mom.”

&
nbsp; Derek had a hectic day, so I left him alone so he could work.

  He’d missed half the day yesterday because he dropped everything to come to Lizzie’s school, and now he had to make up for that lost time. We didn’t even pick him up in the morning because he drove himself to the lab at five in the morning.

  I brought him breakfast since I knew he didn’t eat, I dropped off lunch later, and then I kept myself busy with other things. Every time I saw him, he was working on a 3-D model he built with Jerome and Pierre, troubleshooting hypothetical scenarios and running the simulations on their computers.

  I didn’t even get a chance to talk to him about yesterday.

  I continued to wait, knowing he would tell me when the moment was right. I brought dinner that night, and Jerome and Pierre were still there because they were caught up in the project too.

  I set up the food on the table so the guys could help themselves, and when they didn’t even look, I knew whatever took their focus was more important. I watched Derek for a while, wondering if I should tell him I was about to leave, but I didn’t want to interrupt him, so I grabbed my bag and walked toward the exit.

  He must have seen me with my bag because he said, “Baby?”

  I turned back around and saw him set his things down and walk toward me.

  “I’m sorry. I just got—”

  “Don’t apologize. I know you’ve had a busy day. I just didn’t want to interrupt you to say goodbye.”

  He stopped in front of me, his eyes softening. “Don’t ever leave without saying goodbye to me. I don’t care how busy I am.” His arms circled my waist in front of his colleagues, and he leaned in and kissed me.

  I kissed him back, holding on to him tightly, not wanting to let him go. I wanted to go to his penthouse and be together, but I knew he couldn’t leave. I’d already taken up his time yesterday, time he couldn’t afford to lose.

  He pulled away and wore a disappointed look, like he didn’t want to let me go either.

  My hands moved to his wrists. “You think you could come over tonight?”

  He stilled at the question, his eyes narrowing in confusion.

  “I just…want to be with you tonight. I can’t leave Lizzie alone in the apartment…”

  His eyes narrowed less when he started to understand. “You want me to sneak in?”

  “She’s in bed at eight thirty and asleep at nine, so…”

  He looked down for a moment as he considered the question. “I would hate for Lizzie to find out that way.”

  “She won’t. Our bedrooms are on different sides of the hallway, and there’s a bathroom between us.” And honestly, I didn’t care that much about Lizzie knowing anymore. I knew Derek wasn’t going anywhere, and the two of them had a good relationship.

  He considered it before he looked at me again. “Okay.”

  I kissed him again. “I’ll see you later, then.”

  Derek texted me at ten. I’m outside.

  Coming. I left my bedroom and walked down the hall to Lizzie’s door. I pressed my ear against it and listened. It was hard to decipher, but I could hear her gentle breathing, the sound of someone asleep. I walked to the front door and opened it.

  He stood there in a long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants.

  I pulled him inside, carefully shut the door behind him and locked it, and then we quietly walked down the hallway and into my bedroom, getting there without making a sound. I was in a long sleepshirt with nothing on underneath, so I pulled that off to reveal my naked body.

  He took one look at me and forget my daughter was down the hallway. He stripped off his shirt and his bottoms and then wrapped his arms around me, pressing his mouth against mine aggressively, his big hands squeezing different parts of my body as he kissed me with hot breaths, purposeful tongue, masculine neediness. He directed me to the bed and laid me down as he moved on top of me, our bodies coming together silently, the only sound our lips breaking apart and coming back together.

  He sank inside me, his deep breaths against my lips, and he stifled his moan and replaced it with an audible breath that showed his desire. I struggled to be quiet and scratched his back deeper to compensate, to express how good it felt without using my voice.

  He rocked into me slowly, careful to keep the bed quiet, and our arms held each other close as we made love in silence. I’d been anxious for him the second he’d screamed at Lizzie’s teacher, so at his initial touch, I came quietly, breathing into his mouth as I adjusted to how good it felt, coming around his big dick.

  He slowed down as I came, coming when I did, using my mouth to muffle his own climax. We both finished with a quickness that wasn’t embarrassing but romantic. But he stayed hard, like it wasn’t enough, and kept going, moving inside me as if that release wasn’t enough to satisfy his need for me.

  We cuddled together for a while, lying together in my dark bedroom with the city lights coming through the blinds of the window. His arm was around me, and his face was close, his naked body keeping me warm since we were on top of the sheets.

  He took a deep breath as he stared at me, like he was about to say he needed to leave when he didn’t want to.

  “Thank you for what you did yesterday…with Lizzie’s teacher.”

  “I’m glad you aren’t angry with me. My behavior wasn’t exactly professional.”

  “It’s easy to be professional about things and ideas, but not people you care about.” I probably would have done the same thing, but to little effect. “I can tell that you care about my daughter, Derek.”

  He stared at me for a while before he gave a slight nod. “She’s easy to care about.”

  “She’s never cared about her education because she always assumed she’s not very smart, no matter what I say, but you made her believe in herself…and I don’t know how to thank you for that. A few months ago, the students took an aptitude test to determine what they’re good at and what they should pursue, and she didn’t like her suggestions. I told her it was just a stupid test and it didn’t mean anything, but she took it seriously.”

  He shook his head. “There’s no test in the world that should have the power to influence her life that way. It’s making recommendations based on her abilities in that moment, not taking into account that her abilities can change if she wants, and that’s very misleading to students. They don’t understand that the person they are isn’t finite. It’s just who they are at that moment in time…as a twelve-year-old.”

  I loved it when he said stuff like that, when he disproved negativity with profound logic. “Anyway, you’re the only thing that’s gotten her out of that rut. I’ve never cared what she’ll decide to do for a living, but it’s always bothered me that she won’t allow herself to be passionate about anything because she’s afraid she’s too stupid to accomplish anything. So, she pretends it doesn’t matter to her…when it does. Now, she believes in herself—and that’s because of you.”

  He stared at me like he didn’t know what to say.

  “I knew you were going to be great with Lizzie, but I had no idea how much you would benefit her life.”

  He closed his eyes like he couldn’t accept my compliment. He opened them again when he spoke. “Baby, I taught her a couple things and instilled this sense of inspiration, but you’re the one who takes care of her every single day. Don’t paint me as the hero, when you’re the one who does the heavy lifting. Maybe I inspired her today, but I’m sure you would have inspired her later.”

  I still couldn’t believe this man was mine. All mine. “I think you deserve more credit than that, Derek. But I appreciate what you said. I appreciate you going into that classroom and telling off Mr. Franklin for being a dick to my daughter.”

  “I’m sure you would have handled it on your own, baby. I overstepped my boundaries, and I know it.”

  “No. You protected someone you care about, and that wasn’t a logical decision, but an emotional one. It’s like when I go into mama bear mode. You protected your student because y
ou care. You did not overstep your boundaries, Derek. And honestly, I could have told off that teacher, but it would have gone much differently. I would have accomplished nothing except make him pick on my daughter more.” My hands rubbed over his hard chest, and I leaned in and kissed him. “I just wanted you to know how much that meant to me.” I wanted to say more, but I didn’t. I wanted to tell him I wanted it to be the three of us someday, that I could already picture him being the man in her life that she needed, that we could be a family, that I was so hopelessly in love with him that I would never love another man as long as I lived. But instead, I kissed him again and kept it locked deep inside, hoping I would be able to say those things someday.

  13

  Derek

  “You yelled at a teacher?” Dad sat behind his desk with his lunch in front of him. It was a salmon salad with nuts, berries, and chunks of avocado.

  I sat in one of the armchairs and ate the same thing, since that was what was on the menu. My compound wasn’t too far from his on the outskirts of the city, so I could have stopped by and had lunch with him before…but I never made the time to do it. “Yeah.”

  He grinned and looked down at his food. “Sounds like he deserved it.”

  “The guy’s a piece of shit.” I got a blueberry on my fork and placed it in my mouth. “The guy didn’t even give her partial credit for getting the right answer and marked all over her work on her assignment because it wasn’t the way he taught it. He failed her for doing it in a different way than he demonstrated, which is so fucking narcissistic, and then he accused her of cheating. How stupid does he think she is? All he had to do was talk to her after class and question her about it. She would have said her tutor is teaching her in an alternate way, and it’s easier for her to understand. And that’s it, conversation over. But no, he decided to take the route of destroying a twelve-year-old girl…” How small of a man do you have to be to be threatened by a twelve-year-old? “Fucking bullshit, man.”