Lost in the Mist of Time

by Karen Michelle Nutt

  She shook her head. “You are not getting the point here. I respect Dougray. He’s a strong, decent man who seems to care about others, but he is far from perfect. It is up to his close friends to set him straight.” With that she swept around Murrough, who just stood there staring at her retreating back. He failed to understand her. She talked about respect for Dougray and in the same breath she criticized him. Which was it? Did she want the best for him, or did she wish to destroy him? She was a walking contradiction and needed to be watched. He didn’t care that others thought of her as the goddess Scathach. He knew that she wasn’t at all what she appeared to be, and what made it so disturbing was the fact that Dougray obviously knew the secret. This baffled him for his friend had never kept anything from him before, but somehow this woman had managed to convince him to do so. He didn’t like

  it.

  Chapter 24

  They walked into the forest of oaks, with Aislinn taking in the tranquil surroundings. She was finally going to meet the woman who would help her find her way home. The sooner she left, the happier she would be. “How much farther?”

  Dougray glanced at her. “Tired?” His voice was laced with sarcasm.

  “I can out walk you any day. I just wanted to know so that I can count the minutes when I can be gone from here.” She walked up ahead just to prove her point.

  His nostrils flared. “Well, I cannot wait to wash my hands of ye.” He caught up and passed her in one breath. “Keep up, will ye?” he shot over his shoulder. “I don’t want ye dallying and prolonging my responsibility for ye.”

  She clenched her fists. “Oooh!”

  Finally at the same time, they both broke through the clearing to where a beautiful lake seemed to materialize out of nowhere. Dougray continued forward and ducked into Neala’s meager dwelling only to find it empty. He went on ahead to search for her, but Aislinn for the moment forgot her hurry to go home and stood there captivated. Large oaks lined the entire lake giving it a tranquil beauty of enchantment. The truth of what she was feeling washed over her features in a peaceful smile.

  “Aah, ye are spellbound by it, as I was the very first time I set eyes on this place.”

  Aislinn turned surprised to see that the old woman was standing so near. Surprisingly, she was not at all frightened.

  “It is breathtaking,” Aislinn answered her with all honesty. “Aye, that it is.” The old woman held Aislinn’s gaze.

  “You must be Neala.” Aislinn only asked to confirm what she already knew.

  “Aye.” Her smile showed a nearly toothless grin. “Ye must be the traveler.”

  “I suppose that I am. I’m A.J. Hennessy.”

  “Is it, now?” Her brows rose ever so slightly as she waited for her to say more.

  “Well, A.J. is just a nickname. My given name is Aislinn, Aislinn

  Jacqueline.”

  Neala seemed satisfied with that introduction and moved passed her. “Come, Aislinn Jacqueline, and warm yerself by me fire.”

  She followed. “Dougray is around here, somewhere.” “I’m sure that he is.”

  Aislinn sat down on the large rock while Neala threw a peat log onto the fire making the flames spark to life. Then with a seemingly great effort, the old woman sat down across from her. She was covered with endless lines of age and gnarled by arthritis, making her look as ancient as the oak trees that stood around them. She hardly seemed the appropriate candidate to rescue her from her apparent dilemma.

  The old woman stared at her from across the fire. It was like she wanted to read into Aislinn’s mind, but instead of making her feel uneasy, she began to relax becoming aware of the brilliantly intelligent sheen behind Neala’s eyes that beckoned her to trust her.

  Aislinn cleared her throat and leaned forward resting her elbows and forearm on her knees. “So?”

  The old woman lifted her gray brows and waited for Aislinn to speak her mind.

  “I want to go home,” she stated with finality.

  “Ye’ve only just arrived. Is me hospitality so bad that ye want to run back to the keep?”

  “No,” she said hastily, not wanting to offend her. “I don’t mean I want to go back to the castle. I’m saying that I want to go home, to my real home. Dougray said… well he led me to believe that you would be able to…you know…zap.” She snapped her fingers.

  “Zap?” Neala resisted the urge to laugh and carefully kept a straight face so that Aislinn would continue.

  “Pardon me, but are you not the witch?”

  This was too much and she let out a chortle, which indeed sounded like an old crone’s cackle. “Witch to some I suppose, but I wouldn’t go claiming it as fact or the Christian priests would surely have me burned at the stake.” Aislinn sat there for a full minute before the dreaded truth seemed to wash over her, drowning any hope. “You can’t send me back, can you?”

  “Powers beyond me brought ye here. I have no control over such things.

  I can only see what will happen, and even then, it does nah mean they will come to pass. The power is sometimes unpredictable.”

  Aislinn stood, rubbing her forehead as her disappointment started developing into a horrendous headache. “I don’t want to stay.” “Then why did ye come?”

  “I didn’t come willingly.” She threw up her hands.

  “Nay?” The old woman questioned her like she suspected that this was not entirely true.

  Aislinn couldn’t meet her scrutinizing gaze as she stumbled over her words. “Well, I might have…I did follow, but God! If I had known what I was getting into, I would have run back in the other direction.”

  “We seldom listen to reason.” Neala’s eyes became gentle with compassion for her obvious plight.

  Trying to appear calm when in all reality she was ready to scream. She managed to take a deep breath and smoothed her brow with both hands. “Why am I here? Do you know that at least?”

  “Only ye can know for sure.”

  Aislinn in her frustration began pacing, her hands bunched at her sides. “I don’t know why I’m here. You were supposed to tell me.”

  Neala shook her head in dismay. “Young lass, ye must learn to be patient. Ye will see the truth unfold before ye, and then ye will be able to go back to whence ye’ve came, but unfortunately not until then. Ye’re one of the travelers and the power that brought ye here is very strong. It’ll most likely see it through, now that it has begun.”

  Aislinn stopped before the fire to face her with her dark accusing eyes. “You talk in riddles. What power?”

  “Don’t look so hard for the answers. They’re there waiting to be understood; ye make yer own puzzles.”

  “What do you mean? I don’t’ understand.”

  Dougray had thought that he would have to inform Aislinn that he could not find Neala. All the way back, he was preparing himself for what he was sure would be a tirade of accusing disappointment. So he was quite surprised to find that the old witch somehow had been able to sneak past him, and had forgone the formalities of introducing herself. “I see that ye two are already well acquainted.”

  “What game are you playing?” Aislinn shot the words at him causing him to immediately become on guard.

  “What now, lass? You said that ye wished to speak with Neala and I have brought ye to her.”

  “You told me that she would be able to send me back to my time.”

  He looked questionably at Neala, who was sitting so peacefully next to the peat fire as though this was a family gathering and nothing more. “Well, old woman, ye heard her. She wishes to go back. Do us all a favor and quickly do as she bids.”

  She sighed long and hard knowing that they blamed her for something she had no control over. She shook her head in dismay. “Ye young fools understand nothing of the power of the universe. I did none of this. Ye must play this to the end and see what lies before ye.”

  “See.” Aislinn lifted her hands palms up in a jerking manner letting him know just how much she was fed up with t
his whole situation. “This is ridiculous. If you didn’t know how this procedure worked, why in the world did you involve someone else? I was vacationing with my family, and you had to come along and ruin my perfectly organized life.”

  He looked at her with a sardonic expression. “As far as I could see, yer life was not so perfect.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” She glared at him with her hands on her hips. All that was missing from her angry stance was an impatient tapping foot.

  “Oh forget it.” He decided that it wasn’t worth getting into, but she wouldn’t let it go.

  “I won’t forget it. You started this and I want to know what you meant by that loudmouth remark.”

  He knew that he should just bite his tongue, but she had pushed him one too many times. “Well if ye insist.”

  “Oooh, I do.”

  “Fine. Sit down and I’ll tell ye.” She refused to move. “I said sit!” The bellowing demand surprised her into at least somewhat complying. She sat down, but she made such a production out of it that there was no room for doubt that she obeyed his command under absolute protest.

  He circled her before he began his open assessment of her. “I think that ye are running away.”

  “I am not running away. I was….” She tried to stand only to have his hand come down on her shoulder, forcing her to remain seated.

  “Uh uh…I wasn’t finished yet.” She folded her arms across her chest and waited. He began again, “I see a woman that’s courageous beyond belief, but I also see a frightened child beneath that hard exterior ye’ve created for yerself. Yer parents made ye strong and independent, but so much so that ye have fortified an unapproachable wall around ye. Ye simply do not know how to rely on anyone else and not because ye don’t want to. Ye’re just afraid to take a chance with a real man that would treat ye the way ye should be treated. “Yer brother played that family gathering on the contraption ye own and I saw the type of man that ye seemed to take under your wing, trying to shape him into whatever you’re looking for and knowing all along that you will fail. Ye pick mere lads that have no idea how to even begin to be a man. How I loathe whatever made ye retreat behind that insufferable wall of yers.”

  She just sat there stunned and uncomfortable with the fact that he knew her so well. She did choose men that would never stand up to her, so that she could domineer the relationship, and when she wanted to, she would encourage its end without ever allowing herself to get too close. She was well aware that it was a definite quandary, but she had no idea how to rectify it, so that she could have something substantial and fulfilling, things she so desperately craved.

  All of it was true, but she wasn’t ready to admit her faults publicly and especially not to him. She tried desperately to defend herself. “I sabotaged the relationships on purpose because they weren’t…I was waiting for….” Her eyes locked with his gray turbulent ones causing her to lose her train of thought.

  “Ye are waiting for what, Aislinn?” He moved toward her with a look upon his face that showed such tenderness that she should have felt comfortable enough to open up to him, but instead it invoked a multitude of emotions that petrified her. She fought the panic that rose to suffocate her by lashing out with heated words. “It’s none of your business! Just forget it and write me off as a lost cause.”

  Instead of returning a retort of his own, he withdrew for he had heard the faint thread of frightened hysteria in her voice. Whatever it was she was waiting for had put her in a frozen limbo, where all decisions and actions were impossible, but yet he knew that she still could be reached if someone was persistent enough to try. “Ye are not a lost cause, Aislinn. There is always hope, and I envy the man that will unlock yer passion.” His gaze was as soft as a caress and it sent a dim flush racing like a fever across her face. Her mind reeled with confusion, making her feel like she had somehow lost direction.

  She jumped to her feet again covering up her self-consciousness with anger. “Are you finished now?”

  He eyed her unblinkingly for a few seconds before he nodded. “Aye.”

  She looked him over from head to toe in the most condescending way. “You think that you have me all figured out. Well what about you? Hmm?”

  “What about me?” He squared his shoulder not at all sure that he wanted her to give a rendition of what she thought of him. They circled each other like caged animals ready to lunge at each other’s throats. Neala just sat there rather amused over this little turn of events and said not a word to calm the heated passions.

  “You, my lord, are so closed minded when the mood suits you that you have no idea what is really going on. Oh you are indeed heroic almost to a fault, but you fail to realize that not everyone needs or wants your saving.”

  “I think that is….”

  “Oh no, my lord. It is only fair that you hear me out.” He clamped his mouth shut and she continued. “I also see a man who would never stop himself from enjoying the pleasures that only a woman could grant him, if…” She let the “if” hang in the air just long enough to make sure she had his full attention. “…there was not a commitment involved.”

  “And where would ye get a ridiculous idea like that?”

  “Let me refresh your memory. While you groped me, you called out another woman’s name. She’s probably of the past since when we arrived, it was only Miss well endowed that was there to greet you. What was her name? Fiona.” She could see that he was going to deny that claim but she put up her hand to halt his words. “Uh uh. I am not blind, Dougray. There is something between you and Fiona, and it wasn’t the friendliness of a sister.” The clenching of his jaw muscles at work, along with his silence, was all she needed to know that she was right.

  She had wanted to hurt him, but instead she thought that she sounded more like a jealous lover, a claim she had no right to. To try and stifle these unwarranted feelings, again heated words flew from her mouth, as if they had life all their own. “If I were to analyze your aloofness, I would say that you’ve been hurt in the past. Possibly it was the woman Ella? Maybe you thought that you were in love with her, and she left you without warning. Now you are too afraid to expose your heart to another. You want to keep it simple, have a relationship that you know will go nowhere.”

  “Enough!” How close to the truth she had come. Somehow she was aware of his fears, but what she didn’t realize was that when he was with her, she made that emptiness go away. She made him want again only she wasn’t willing to go there.

  “What? Oh I see how it is: I was supposed to just sit there and listen to you tear me down, but when it comes to hearing the truth, you can’t take it. Tsk, tsk, my lord.” As she paused to catch her breath, her own personal fears seemed to crash down on her. He stood there tall and straight like a towering black oak. Despite all her brave words, she was trembling for his ruggedness and vital power attracted her, drew her like a moth to a flame. He thought that she was only attracted to a man that she could control, but he was wrong. She wanted…. She shook her head trying to deny what she felt for him, but the endless silence that they shared only seemed to electrify the tangible bond between them. If he took a step toward her, kissed her as he had before, it would be her undoing.

  She wanted him to make the move, but at the same time her mind screamed to resist. He was not a man to toy with. Like a frightened animal that has only retreat on its side to survive, she somehow made her feet move. She had to get away to sort out her emotions. She purposely turned and walked away, praying he would not stop her.

  “Where are ye going?” His voice was barely edged with control. Something had passed between them, but before he could come to terms with it, she was fleeing.

  She just continued to walk throwing him the answer, confusing him further, “Oh take a load off, will you? I’m just walking down to the water’s edge.” Her obvious sarcasm rang through the air, making Neala chuckle.

  Dougray threw her a lethal glare. It was almost like he had forgotten that she was t
here and was offended that she had not made her presence known sooner. “This is most interesting, do ye nah think?” she questioned him.

  “The woman is impossible.” He waved his hand in dismissal. “I have followed yer orders, Neala. Unbelievable as it may still seem, I brought her back with me and against my will, I might add. And just look where it has gotten me? Nowhere,” he answered himself. “She has done nothing but give me a headache and ye think that she is important to the future. How? Is she to drive me mad? I have enough problems with the Butlers without having a troublesome female to contend to.”

  “There are multitudes of happenings that are important to the future. The power is surrounding ye and that lass.” She nodded to Aislinn’s retreating figure. “I see fire in yer eyes, Fitzpatrick, that I had long thought was gone. She has already done well.”

  “Ye see fire, old woman, because she has pushed me to the brink of distraction. I can only thank God that I was not stranded in her time and place.

  I could not stand to be with a lass who does not know her place.” “And where is a woman’s place, milord?”

  He hesitated, surprised by her question. “Well ye know where… in… well

  in her place is all.” He was beginning to be perturbed with the old crone.

  “I see. Ye favor simpleminded women so that ye can tell her how she should be thinking.”

  “That’s absurd. I do not fancy a simpleminded woman. I welcome one that can challenge a man’s mind.”

  “Aislinn is very capable, aye?”

  He felt like he had just been led into a trap, and his eyes narrowed knowingly. “Aye, but too capable.”

  “Aah, maybe, but…” She studied him through her half-closed eyes. “…I think, ye like her.”

  “Like her? Haven’t ye been listening, old woman?” “Aye. I have heard clearly.” She nodded her head.

  Dougray found her sitting near the water’s edge, her arms securely hugging her knees close to her body, while her chin rested on the top of them. She didn’t give any indication that she had heard him come up behind her, until he sat down. She tilted her head to look at him. Those brown eyes looked so sad and maybe even a little lost, so much so that he had the urge to pull her close to comfort her, but he felt that she would balk against such a gesture. He did not want to have another argument.