Lost in the Mist of Time

by Karen Michelle Nutt

  “Bah! I cannot. That woman is driving me mad.” He threw up his hands and paced the other way. “She doesn’t heed a word that I say. She leaves the keep unattended and she refuses to wear the dresses that I have made for her, unless the mood strikes her to do so.”

  “Well soon, milord, ye will nah have to worry, aye?” She chuckled, thoroughly enjoying Dougray’s discomfort. The words spread like wildfire that Aislinn was going to fight the man who would take her hand in marriage. There was not a person for miles around who wouldn’t be attending this event. “Ye will have her married, and she will be some other man’s responsibility.” He shot her a cold look, causing her to lift her brows. “Perhaps ye have reconsidered?”

  “Reconsidered?”

  “Aye. Mayhap ye want the lass for yerself.”

  “Ach!” He openly showed his disgust and he sat down on the moss-laced rock, his mantle draping around him. “I have no time nor need of a woman who does not know her place.”

  “She is nah of this time or have ye forgotten so soon?”

  “Nay, it is always on my mind. It troubles me that I do not know the reason why she is here. I have been at a loss what to do with her. She is miserable.” He rested his head in his hands, rubbing his tired eyes.

  “Ye could change that.” He looked up. “Pray tell.” “Ye could marry her.”

  His laugh was thunderous. “Surely ye jest, old woman. Aislinn would sooner run me through with a sword than wed me.”

  “She may surprise ye, aye?”

  He stood now. “It doesn’t matter.” “Why is this?”

  “I married once and look how wonderful that turned out. Ella was my life, and I couldn’t….”

  She made a disgusting sound causing him to look at her. “Ella was nah yer life, ye young fool.” He was about to say something, but she raised her gnarled hand to him. “Ye will listen first. Ella was a special lass, no one is denying this, but ye are wrong when ye say that she was yer life. She only shared a moment in the circle of all and now she is gone. And here ye stand; ye still have nah let her go. She is a restless spirit wandering around this glen.” “A restless spirit?”

  “Aye. Ye heard me. Ye need to say yer good-byes and get on with yer life, or ye might as well crawl in next to Ella ending it now. There I have spoken.” She turned away from him and threw another peat onto the fire. It blazed hot, casting shadows, making them look like angry phantoms.

  “It was my fault Ella died.” Neala looked up at him. “Ye?”

  “I was the one who tightened the saddle. I led her to her death.”

  She saw the pain etched in his features. He was indeed an honorable man and would grieve to despair, if she couldn’t help him move forward. “Do nah continue to punish yerself. It was an accident, milord. All ye do is prevent yerself from having the happiness ye deserve.”

  “Aislinn wants love, and I cannot give her that.” He felt tormented by his confusing emotions. He wanted her at his side, and at the same time, he couldn’t see him pledging a lifetime commitment to her. She expected too much. Truth be known, he was afraid of failing her, as he had failed Ella.

  “Ye say she wants love and yet ye force her to marry someone she does not know. How do ye manage to accomplish love for her then?”

  He looked away hastily, his movements restless as he struggled with his conscience. He had made the decree. He could not go back on it now. He had tried to convince himself that it was for the best, but in fact he had acted hastily and out of anger. Her defiance had taken its toll, and for once he had thought to show her who had the upper hand. Well he had, hadn’t he? It was unavoidable fact: Aislinn would lose, and she would have to marry. Only now he wasn’t sure that he was going to be pleased with the victory. “Milord? I am waiting. How will ye ensure love for Aislinn?”

  He turned to her with his answer. “Love will have to come later. Surely it can happen. Ye can grow to love a person. Why I loved Ella. I did not know her but a week before we said our vows before God.”

  “Bah! Ye were in lust of her fine features.”

  “How dare ye!” His eyes blazed with fury that she would speak to him in such a manner.

  “I speak the truth as well ye know it. Now sit and stop throwing daggers at me with those looks of yers. It’s quite annoying, and childish I might add.” Dougray continued to stare her down, but she would not look away. Finally he took a deep cleansing breath, lest he forget that she was just an old woman. He again came to sit by the fire.

  “Now…” She came closer. “…ye claim love for Ella and it might have been so, but I ask yerself to be honest with yer heart. What made ye think that

  it was love that drew ye to her?”

  “I do not have to answer such a question.” He was definitely uneasy with this and he knew that the old crone was well aware of it.

  “Do ye nah wish to answer me, or is it that ye do nah know?”

  “That’s absurd. Of course I know.” He clasped his hands to his knees as he tried to think of the answer. “She was beautiful and fair. Her voice was sweet as a melody, and she had eyes the color of….” He paused for a horribly long moment, as he tried to recall Ella’s features to mind. A stab of guilt lay buried in his breast for didn’t know. He didn’t know the color of Ella’s eyes. “They were green as moss with a tinge of brown thrown in, milord.”

  His anguished, gray eyes lifted to hers. “I did not know.” It was a simple thing, but yet it troubled him. If he didn’t perceive something that should have been so obvious to him, how much more did he not appreciate of his wife? “She liked to ride.” He felt almost relieved that he was conscious of this, but then it saddened him for it was all that he knew about her. How ironic that it had been her passion that had ended up killing her.

  He ran his hand through his hair. He had wanted to marry Ella. She was so fair haired and lovely, but he was faced with the fact that he had not known her. “I loved her,” but his conviction seemed hollow.

  Neala sighed. “Aye, then ye did and there is no one that can say otherwise. But remember, young lord, there are many different kinds of love that we share with others. We love our parents for they care for our needs, and in return, we love our children unconditionally. It is an endless giving love we bestow upon our offspring.

  “When we care for whom we take to wed, it is to stand by their side, protect and provide. It may not start out as much, but as years go by, time is laced with joy, as well as sorrow. This is how the bond is formed. This is also love.

  “Then there are those who are fortunate to experience love that runs deep down to the very core of their hearts, to their souls, and that is indeed a special love to know. Wouldn’t it be a shame to let a special love like that pass? Yer parent’s shared such a love.” He looked at her then. “Now, young lord, ye say that it is love that ye felt for Ella, and ye are the only one that would know this. But I ask ye to consider yer feelings for Aislinn in the same manner. I have a hunch that ye will find that not only do ye know the color of her eyes, but ye know what each of her expressions mean.”

  Dougray didn’t reply, but he knew the answer as certainly as if Aislinn were standing in front of him. Her eyes were always full of emotion, letting him know how she felt, and they were a dark alluring color of brown.

  Chapter 37

  “You seem distracted.” Murrough raised his glass to his lips, as he watched Dougray move around the table.

  “Aye, that I am. Do ye think that I am doing the right thing by forcing Aislinn to wed?” He looked at his friend.

  Murrough leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. “She is a most troublesome woman. This stipulation she has set, I am most surprised that you agreed to it, but then I can see yer reasoning for it. She needs to be taught a lesson. A woman should know her place. Aye?” He sat back in his seat again. “Ye are wise to have someone take her off your hands.”

  “Then why does it not set well with me?”

  “Doesn’t set well?” He didn’t understand, bu
t before he could make a comment on it, Aislinn came charging into the room.

  “How dare you!” She pointed her finger at Dougray, who in turned quirked a brow in question.

  “What have I done now, milady?”

  “Are you going to just stand there and pretend that you don’t know?”

  “I assure ye that I don’t. Pretend or not, I cannot say if ye don’t explain it.” “Abbot Kirwan has banned me from the library, locking the doors.” Fire nearly sprouted from her roar.

  “Ye want to read? This is all?” Dougray came forward. “I thought that you would be training for your big day.”

  “Do not worry yourself. I will be prepared. Maybe you should see to the men. Frankly I was not impressed with my competition.”

  Dougray’s eyes narrowed. How she could make his blood boil and not for the reasons that he wished she would. “Ye should be thanking me lass that I have not thrown ye to the wolves. Though it is hard to believe, ye will be presented as a noble woman and only those befitting of that station will be able to participate.”

  “There is not one reason for me to thank you. It’s barbaric to be forced to marry a man that I don’t even know.”

  He sighed. “It is for yer best interest.”

  “My best interest or yours? You dragged me here against my wishes, I might add, and now you want to find a way to get rid of me. The solution would be simple if you could just conjure up that mist so I can go back to my time.”

  Murrough stood now causing Aislinn to take a step back. She hadn’t noticed him there in the shadows. “Yer time, milady?” he questioned.

  Dougray moved forward hand on the hilt of his sword causing Murrough to hesitate. Never had his friend threatened him, but there was no denying the intent in Dougray’s stance.

  “I will show ye to the library,” Dougray said to Aislinn, but he did not take his eyes off of Murrough.

  “Uh…thank you.” How could she have been so careless? “Please wait for me, Murrough.”

  “Aye.”

  Dougray grabbed a hold of Aislinn’s arm and nearly dragged her from the room. “Not a wise move, milady.” She glanced at his hard features and shivered. Even though his voice was controlled, she knew by the darkening of his smoke-colored eyes that his anger was ready to explode. “Ye are lucky that it is Murrough that has heard ye speak of this. He is my trusted friend and will not repeat what he has heard. If anyone else had heard, ye wouldn’t have to worry about a marriage, for ye would have been accused as a witch. Do I

  need to tell ye what that would mean?” His grip tightened making her wince. “No. I think that I can imagine.”

  “Good. Vent yer anger at me, but make sure that there are no other ears around to hear.” They had reached the library doors and she shrugged her arm away.

  “And pray tell, how will I do that once I am married? Do you think that my husband will allow me to seek out your audience?”

  He closed his eyes for a moment. The woman exhausted him. With a deep breath, he looked at her now, noticing that her lower lip trembled. It was slight, but he knew that it was so. She was brave, but was she actually frightened? He was aware that some people showed fear through anger. Could this possibly be the case with her? “Aislinn,” he said so softly that she was taken aback from the gentleness of his tone, “my only wish, is to make ye comfortable. Do ye not think that I feel guilty about taking ye away from yer home? Yer family?”

  She almost believed that he was sincere, but her defenses were up and she dismissed the honesty of his voice. “If this is so, my lord, then try harder to send me back. Now are you going to open the door or not?”

  Dougray bit back his heated retort. Whatever had he been thinking?

  Frightened? The woman was made out of steel, unbendable and definitely unyielding. He took out the key, and unlocked the door. “There ye go, milady.” She walked right past him, but turned to glance his way when he spoke again. “Ye might try to find a book on how to hold yer tongue. Yer husband may not be as lenient as I have been.” He didn’t wait for her to answer but shut the door in her face.

  With a scowl still penetrating his features, he stormed all the way back to where Murrough was waiting for him. “I need a drink.”

  “It is poured.” Murrough pointed to the goblet that was set upon the table. “Thank ye.” Dougray felt guilty that he had not explained everything sooner to his best friend. He easily read the mistrust in the man’s eyes and he couldn’t blame him in the least. He downed the drink, letting the liquid warm his blood. “Remember when ye could not find me after the battle with Fingham?”

  “Aye, it was like ye had disappeared.” Murrough nodded.

  “It was the mist that Neala spoke of. I stepped into another time and place.” He held up his hand. “I know that ye think this is mad and so did I, but truly it happened. I somehow was able to cross the line into the future and that is where I met Aislinn.” He shook his head. “It was an unbelievable place. The future…so much change.” He could see that Murrough was not at all convinced. “I know that this is unbelievable, but can ye at least try to understand, for I swear to ye, as I am standing here, that it is all true.”

  “How do you know that the woman is not a witch, and has cast some spell on ye to make ye think that this tale is so?”

  “Aislinn is many things, that I will grant ye, but witch is not one of them. She is human like ye and me. She is trapped where she doesn’t belong. Remember Neala had told me that I would meet a woman, and that I would bring her back with me?”

  “Aye. I remember that tale well.”

  “I brought her back. It is just that Neala does not know why she needed to be here. Only that she must.”

  “I thought that this woman she spoke of was supposed to be yer true love, or have ye forgotten that part of Neala’s prediction?”

  “Obviously she was mistaken on that part or I have taken the wrong woman.” He sat down. “Maybe I was to take her mother,” he said with a chuckle.

  “Her mother, milord?”

  “Aye. I spent time with Aislinn’s family. It was all so confusing that all I could think about was finding my way home. Aislinn followed me, leaving me no choice but to take her here.”

  “Then it was meant to be.” “Maybe.”

  “Then why do ye wish to have her married off?”

  “She will be wed to someone that is loyal to me. If I uncover the reason that she is here, I will be able to request an audience with her.”

  Murrough considered all that Dougray had revealed. He did not believe that it was possible to travel to the future, but again there have been stranger things that have happened in his lifetime. The point was that Dougray believe it was so. Therefore he was forced to at least consider the possibility. Only there was something that had him baffled. As much as Dougray called Aislinn a nuisance, he also sensed that there was more than just duty that tied the man to the unusual lady. He’d protect her, even if it meant that he would have to test their friendship. He feared that Dougray had fallen in love with the woman, only he refused to see it. “Are ye sure that ye will not be bothered by another man bedding Lady Aislinn?”

  He chuckled uncomfortably. “What do I care?” He poured himself another drink and nearly downed it in one gulp. He hadn’t thought about another man taking her to bed, which was ridiculous since what else would a husband be doing? He closed his eyes, trying to will the disturbing image from his mind.

  “I’m glad to hear this.”

  Dougray gritted his teeth. “Why do ye say that?”

  “Just that we have enough problems with Fingham Butler. It will be good to have yer distraction elsewhere.”

  “Aislinn does not distract me.” His voice held a note of impatience and Murrough noticed that his hands were shaking as he poured himself yet another drink.

  “Of course not. I was just saying that ye’ll have more time to concentrate on other matters. Milady can be most demanding. Is that not what ye have said?”

 
“Aye, of course.” He slammed down his goblet. “Now about what I have confided in ye.”

  “Ye need to ask?” Murrough sighed miserably that it had come to this. “Ye have my word that no one will hear about what was voiced in this room.”

  “Thank ye, Murrough.” He suddenly felt exhausted, the effects of the wine starting to cloud his thoughts. “Murrough?” “Aye.”

  “Do ye know the color of Rhiannon’s eyes?” He raised his gaze to find his friend’s curious expression. “Well, Murrough, do ye know?”

  There was something disturbing in the way that Dougray looked at him, as though this answer weighed heavily on a decision that was most complicated. Slowly he nodded. “Aye. Her eyes are the color of the hills of Ireland.”

  Dougray leaned back in his chair. He couldn’t stop the dull ache of foreboding.

  “Do ye wish to talk about it?”

  Dougray looked at him, being careful to guard his feelings. “There is nothing to say. I am bone weary, is all.”

  “Once this event is over, ye will no doubt feel better.” “Perhaps.”

  Murrough heard the doubt in that response but was unsure why. “Do ye really believe that milady will be able to hold her own? She seemed overly confident of herself.”

  “That will be her downfall.”

  “With all due respect, I have seen the list. The men that will ask for her hand are not…well how should I put it? They are not seasoned. They have had many months of sedentary behavior. I don’t mean to put too much in the woman’s abilities but I have seen her move. She is quite impressive.”

  “Aye, that she is.” He took on a faraway look as he remembered seeing her in action. She was remarkable.

  Murrough cleared his throat. “She is being referred to as the ‘woman warrior.’”

  “Aye. I have heard. Is there a point to all this, Murrough?”

  He nodded. “Only that we should add another name to the list, just in case, milord.”

  Again Dougray felt uncomfortable with this whole sequence of events. “Whom did ye have in mind?”