A Cold Creek Baby

by RaeAnne Thayne

  “She and John were both friends.” It wasn’t the most adequate of terms, but it was accurate anyway.

  “I can’t say I was surprised to get your phone call that she had been killed. She seemed to live in a pretty rough world. Sad but not surprised.”

  She died a hero, giving her life to avenge terrible wrongs and to try to save untold others. But because that information was classified and the efforts against El Cuchillo’s cartel ongoing, he couldn’t divulge it—even to Soqui and John’s family—without endangering them.

  “Please, won’t you sit down?”

  “I’m good for a minute. I’ve been driving all morning and it feels good to stand, to tell you the truth.”

  She had just come from her father’s funeral, he remembered. He saw the shadow of grief in her exhaustion.

  “I’m sorry for your loss.”

  She accepted his condolences with a tired nod. “It wasn’t really a surprise. My dad has had congestive heart failure for the last five years. But it’s still not easy. My mom’s having a hard time, what with losing Johnny just a year ago.”

  She finally set the toddler down and rubbed at her low back.

  A thin line of mucus dripped from the boy’s nose. He swiped at it with one dirty hand before his mother could whip a tissue from her pocket. The kid jerked his head to get away from the tissue attack but eventually submitted for a few moments, then made his escape and wandered toward the spot where Belle was once more playing with her favorite stuffed puppy dog.

  Cisco didn’t necessarily consider himself a fastidious man—that pretty much disappeared fast in the field—but he found himself heartily wishing for some hand sanitizer after the kid reached out and snatched the dog away with those same grimy fingers.

  He waited to see if Belle was going to cry, but she only looked bewildered, then picked up a different toy, which the other kid also snatched away.

  Cisco had to fight the urge to rush over and tell the little brat a thing or two about picking on creatures smaller than he was.

  “How old is your little boy?” he asked instead.

  “That one? That’s Austin. He’ll be two next month. He’s a real handful.” She curved a hand over her stomach. “This one is a boy, too.”

  “When are you due?”

  “I still have three months to go. Wouldn’t you know, I’m going to have to suffer through the third trimester in the worst heat of the summer. Don’t know why we haven’t figured out yet how to plan these things better.”

  She looked completely exhausted. He thought of the two older children who had gone with Easton into the kitchen and then how much work Belle alone had been for him and unease slicked through him.

  “You seem like you have your hands full,” he finally said. “How will you handle three children under age two?”

  She gave a heavy sigh. “I don’t know. I’ll figure something out, I guess. What choice do I have?”

  He didn’t have an alternative. The only one he could think of was, of course, completely impossible.

  “My brother and his wife wanted me and Sam, my husband, to raise Isabella here in the U.S.,” Sharon went on. “We agreed to take on the responsibility of being named her guardians, knowing that both Belle’s parents were living…precarious lives. No, the timing isn’t the greatest, but I guess that can’t be helped.”

  It bothered Cisco that she hadn’t gone to the baby or picked her up. Belle was her niece and would be living with her family. He would have liked to see a little spontaneous affection, but he supposed he couldn’t have everything.

  “I’ll admit, I don’t know much about babies, but Belle is a great kid,” he said, feeling uncomfortably like a used car dealer trying for the hard sell. “Even though I can tell she misses her mama, she’s been very good-natured and easygoing. She rarely cries at all, just when she’s really tired or hungry.”

  “That’s good. My second one was a real crier. I thought I’d go crazy until he grew out of it.”

  “And she’s smart as can be,” Cisco went on. “She’s not quite nine months old and she’s already trying to say dada and pull herself up to stand.”

  She smiled a little. “Don’t know if that’s always a good thing. The sooner they walk, the better they are at getting into things. Austin, get that out of your mouth, honey. She was playing with it.”

  Cisco couldn’t take any more of the toddler tormenting the baby. If the kid took one more toy away from her, he was going to have to step in and snatch it right back from the little toy thief.

  Since he figured that probably wouldn’t make a good impression on Johnny’s sister, he opted instead to scoop Belle up into his arms, out of the line of fire.

  Somewhat to Cisco’s relief, the pregnant woman finally seemed to tire of standing. She eased her bulk to the edge of the couch. When she held out her hands for Belle, he didn’t know what else to do but surrender her.

  Belle blinked at her aunt for a long moment, her long eyelashes wide.

  Sharon was the first to smile. “Hey, there, little girl. I’m your aunt. This is your cousin Austin. He’s a bit of a tease, but I’m guessing you’ll soon figure out how to give back as good as you get.”

  Belle gnawed on her fist and then blew a raspberry and the little boy giggled.

  “Those eyes.” Sharon’s voice was soft and rather sad. “They’re so much like Johnny’s.”

  “Pretty close, from what I remember.”

  “My brother was a good kid.” Sharon gave him a hard look, as if daring him to contradict her. “I don’t care what kind of trouble he was messed up in down there. I always knew he would eventually straighten himself out and come home. And then he met Soqui and everything changed.”

  The culture of secrecy around undercover agents had never seemed so unfair to him. Didn’t she deserve to know her that her brother, like his wife, had been everything that was heroic and honorable?

  “Your brother was a good man, ma’am,” he finally said. “One of the best I’ve ever known.”

  Instead of taking his words as the comfort he intended, she looked vaguely contemptuous. It took him a moment to realize why. As far as Sharon Weaver was concerned, he was just some low-life expatriate thug who had probably contributed in some way to her brother’s downfall.

  His jaw hardened. Fair enough, he supposed. He hadn’t been able to save Johnny…or Soqui either.

  “How would you like a big sister and a couple of big brothers?” Sharon asked Belle, who pursed her mouth as if considering the question with deep gravitas.

  “Are you certain your husband is on board with this?” Cisco had to ask.

  If he hadn’t been watching closely, he might have missed the hint of unease in her expression. “He’s…not exactly thrilled about having another child in the house when I’m due in a few months. But he signed the guardianship papers, too, and Sam is a man who honors his commitments.”

  Cisco really wanted to be enthusiastic about Belle’s new family. Sharon seemed nice, even if she was tired and would undoubtedly have her hands full in the coming months. But he couldn’t shake his vague unease that he was handing something rare and precious over to people without the first idea of her value.

  “You have all the paperwork?”

  “The custody transfer is all signed and notarized. I’ll leave my contact numbers with you, in case you run into problems with the legalities.”

  “And all her things are packed?”

  He indicated her car seat and the suitcase he had haphazardly stuffed clothes and toys into during those crazy few days in Bogotá after everything went to hell.

  “It should all be here.”

  Sharon released a heavy breath. “I guess that’s it, then.”

  She studied Belle without any trace of joy or excitement at gaining a beautiful dark-haired daughter, only that same weary resignation.

  Cisco’s chest felt tight and his vague misgivings turned solid and real. He didn’t want to do this. But what other choice d
id he have?

  “She eats just about anything mashed up. Her favorite foods seem to be carrots and applesauce. She still has a bottle at night and at nap time. There’s a couple cans of the kind of formula mix she’s used to in there.”

  His stab wound was hurting like a son of a bitch, something he didn’t think was a coincidence.

  “Great. Thanks. I’ll call you if I have any other questions.”

  “She’s due for a nap, so she might sleep a good portion of the way to Boise.”

  She lumbered out of the chair and he tried to picture her trying to juggle a rambunctious toddler, a newborn and a sweet-natured Belle, along with a couple of older kids. A mother’s attention could spread only so far. Which of those would suffer the lack of it? He could guess only too well.

  “I’d like to be back home in Boise by dinnertime, so I’d best gather everyone up and be on my way.”

  He didn’t know how to stop her, so he reluctantly waited while she grabbed her little boy by the hand, then followed her into the kitchen.

  Easton and the older two children sat around the table rolling out Play-Doh she must have unearthed from somewhere.

  Easton looked first at Belle in the other woman’s arms and then at him and the emotion drenching her eyes broke his heart all over again.

  “Look, Mommy.” Obviously oblivious to the simmering tension, the little girl beamed at Sharon. “I made a snake.”

  Belle’s aunt smiled at her daughter, although it seemed edged with impatience. “Can you tell the nice lady thank you and then we need to clean up our mess so we can get back home. Don’t you miss your daddy? I know I do.”

  He had to admit, he was rather impressed when the children didn’t whine or protest, simply began gathering up the cookie cutters strewn across the table.

  She seemed like a nice woman and would probably be a loving mother to Belle, but he still couldn’t seem to shake these blasted misgivings.

  When the mess was cleaned to their mother’s satisfaction, the children raced out the front door to their minivan.

  “Here, let me hook her into her car seat and carry her out for you,” he said to Sharon.

  “Thanks,” she answered.

  He took the baby and had to swallow three or four times when she patted his cheeks with those chubby little hands and gave him that adorable gummy grin.

  He gave her a hug and kissed her cheek.

  “You be a good girl, won’t you?”

  She smiled at him and his throat suddenly ached in a way it hadn’t in years and he had to concentrate hard to focus on sliding her correctly into her car seat and buckling the straps.

  She was probably too big to still be in this kind of carrier seat. That’s what the lady at the rental place had told him, anyway, but he would just have to let her new family address that particular issue.

  As he picked her up and headed out to the waiting minivan, Easton followed him with Belle’s suitcase and she seemed determined to avoid his gaze.

  When they reached the vehicle, he looked inside and winced at the three booster seats already taking up most of the available seats.

  Add another car seat for Belle and one for Sharon’s new baby and the poor woman wouldn’t have an inch of room to spare.

  He could only hope she and her husband would find room in their hearts for a big-eyed little girl with dark curls and an adorable smile.

  Chapter Nine

  She couldn’t go through this.

  Not again.

  Panic clawed at Easton’s chest and she needed every ounce of self-control to beat it back, to keep it from completely devouring her.

  In a few moments, this sweet little baby was going to leave her life completely and the brutal pain of it clutched at her insides with icy fists.

  She had lost one baby. Those dark days and the raw pain of it had faded over the years to a steady ache.

  In the last few days she had fallen hard for Isabella, despite her best efforts to keep her emotions in check. Her pudgy little fingers and the determined way she chewed her stuffed dog’s ears and the intoxicating scent of her soft, silky skin.

  In a moment, this sweet little girl was going to be gone, purged from her life as if she’d never been.

  Again.

  She swallowed hard, panic fluttering just on the edge of her awareness.

  A few more moments. She could make it through a few more moments and then she would fall apart.

  Cisco carried the car seat out to the minivan, while Belle’s aunt shepherded her other children into their respective seats in the car.

  She wanted to rush inside and curl up in fetal position on her bed and weep her heart out, but she forced herself to step forward once Belle was settled in her seat. Her chest aching, Easton kissed the little girl’s cheek and closed her eyes as she felt Belle’s cheek muscles move into a smile against her mouth.

  “God bless, little bug.”

  The baby at last seemed to sense that something significant was going on. Her smile slid away and her little chin puckered. She reached her plump hands out to Easton, just another twist of the knife.

  “I can’t take you right now, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” She stepped away as Belle started to rev up for a full-fledged wail.

  “Don’t forget, you have my cell number and the other contact number in the paperwork,” Cisco said to her aunt over the baby’s cries. “If you have any questions about her care or about the legal details, leave me a message and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.”

  He sounded so matter-of-fact that Easton thought he must be the most callous person alive. She wanted to kick him. To scream and hit and throw something. To wail along with Belle until nobody could hear anything else.

  “How long will you be here?” Sharon asked.

  Cisco’s gaze slanted briefly to Easton, then back to the other woman. “Not long. I don’t know, exactly. I have…business back in South America.”

  Easton clenched her hands into fists. She was dying inside. She had to get out of here before she broke down.

  Belle was full-fledged wailing now, her cries filling the air. A muscle jumped in Cisco’s jaw but he did nothing to comfort her. Instead, he stepped away and her aunt leaned into the open door of the minivan.

  “Hush now, little one. You’ll be all right.”

  She seemed like a kind woman, down-to-earth and comfortable. Easton supposed she had to find solace in that.

  “Holly, can you give your cousin a toy?” Sharon asked before turning back to Cisco and Easton with an apologetic look. “We’ll be okay. I’m sure she’ll fall asleep as soon as we get going.”

  “Car rides do tend to knock her out,” Cisco offered.

  Sharon closed the sliding minivan door and the three adults stood for a moment in an awkward tableau.

  “We’d best get on the road, then. See if we can calm her down a bit,” the aunt finally said. “I’ll call you if I have any problems.”

  “Good luck,” Cisco said.

  He moved around the side of the vehicle and held the driver’s door open for her. She climbed inside and started the van, then put the vehicle in gear and pulled away down the driveway with one last wave out the window.

  And that was that.

  Easton stood watching the van head down the long, winding lane for perhaps thirty seconds, fighting for control, pushing back images of the nurses taking a still, quiet, blanket-wrapped form out of her arms and the gaping pain they left in its place.

  She couldn’t stay here. Not with Cisco. She had to escape before it occurred to him to ask why saying goodbye to Belle, a baby she had known for only a few days, was affecting her so strongly.

  “I’ve got to go check on the flooding situation up near the lake.”

  “Easton—”

  She didn’t wait for him to finish the thought, she only rushed away to the barn and saddled Lucky Star in record time. She was just shoving her boot into the stirrup to mount when he showed up in the doorway.

&nb
sp; “You okay?”

  “Just great. Get out of my way.”

  Her voice hardly even wobbled on the words, she was relieved to note as she pulled herself up and settled into the saddle.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  She walked the horse toward where he stood in front of the barn door. “No. I want you to get the hell out of my way or I’ll let Lucky mow you down.”

  With a surprised look, he stepped aside just as she dug her heels into Lucky’s side and spurred the horse to a gallop, whistling for Jack to come along.

  She knew where she needed to go and she could count on Lucky to get her there fast—and on the wind racing past to dry her tears.

  What was that about?

  Cisco watched Easton tear up the trail on her big, sturdy gray, her border collie fast on their heels. He followed the trio’s progress, concern warring with confusion. Even after Jo’s death, he hadn’t seen such anguish in her eyes. She looked completely shattered, as if something inside her had been crushed into a million pieces.

  All this for a baby she hadn’t even known existed four days ago? He didn’t get it. Something was off. He had thought so ever since he arrived at the ranch with Belle. He thought of that sadness that sometimes flickered in her expression when she looked at the baby, the devastation he had seen earlier.

  A moment later, she and her horse disappeared into the trees. He narrowed his gaze after them. Maybe she just needed a little time to settle down, to work out whatever had hit her so hard.

  The sun pulsed down, warm for a late-May afternoon. He ought to go inside and pack his gear. Nothing to stop him from leaving now, when it would be least likely to result in an awkward scene.

  He couldn’t do it. Not when Easton was so upset. He couldn’t bear knowing she was alone and in pain.

  On impulse, he hurried into the house and quickly threw together a haphazard picnic lunch, though he had a feeling she wouldn’t feel much like eating right now. He didn’t either. But he knew from experience that sometimes a decent meal could at least make the world not seem quite so grim.

  He stuffed sandwiches and some cut-up vegetables and fruit into a bag he could tie onto a saddle, added a couple of icy water bottles from the refrigerator, then grabbed a baseball cap off the hook by the door and headed out to the barn.