Gone Forever

by Diane Fanning

  Mona said, “Susan was a horrible mother.”

  Charlene was stunned—but still compassionate. “No, Susan really was a good mother,” she assured her.

  “Rick worked so hard around here.”

  Charlene sure didn’t remember that, but she did not want to attack this already beleaguered woman. “I never saw him much,” was all that she said.

  “Susan liked to shop at that Central Market because Susan always had to have the best.”

  Charlene explained that a lot of women in the neighborhood shopped there on a regular basis. It was close, convenient and a good source for prepared foods for a quick dinner.

  “Did Susan ever cook?”

  “She was a great cook. She baked cookies for the boys all the time,” Charlene said in defense of her friend.

  “See that pillow over there?” Mona said pointing to the Mary Englebreit pillow bearing the legend “IT’S GOOD TO BE QUEEN.” “That’s exactly what Susan thought. Nothing was ever good enough for her.”

  Charlene was speechless.

  “If she wanted to have a career, why did she have kids?” Mona asked.

  Charlene wanted to snap back and tell her that if her lazy son had held a job, maybe Susan could have stayed home. But she held her peace and said her goodbyes.

  By the time she reached her home, all the sympathy she had for Rick’s parents had turned to dust. She brushed it away and had nothing more to do with either of them.

  45

  In a conversation with his parents, Rick said, “I trust communication goes to David to keep the kids out of a foster home. The proper paperwork needs to be filed.”

  “David understands the custody hearing,” Mona said. “He’s spoken with the social workers.”

  “What’s David up to?”

  “David is coming to the Friday hearing, but they are not able to take any of the kids.”

  “David doesn’t want the kids’ custody?” Even though David had told him so, Rick did not believe it. His voice shook with the shock as if it were a new revelation. “My brain is fried.”

  “Don, David and Julie are talking to Christian homes that can accommodate the kids’ needs.”

  David talked to Rick right before the hearing. “The kids have gone through enough heartache. No more false hopes—they need a permanent home.”

  “What do you mean?” Rick asked.

  “We need to be prepared for the worst. Julie and I are not capable of handling the reality—of dealing with it.”

  “This whole thing sucks.”

  “I can’t wave a wand and save you and the kids. The bottom line is, we’re not taking custody of the kids,” David said.

  “How about temporary custody—eighteen months?”

  “I’m not going to bring a child into my home on a temporary basis and then let him go.”

  “I cannot comprehend why you won’t help,” Rick said.

  With a trial not scheduled for quite some time, the public’s attention turned to Sue’s children. The two younger boys were placed with a foster family and the oldest boy was in a facility with programs and staff specializing in counseling troubled and traumatized kids.

  Rick was fighting to maintain custody of his children. By law, he was innocent until proven guilty, making it necessary for the legal process to plod its way forward on the subject of custodial rights.

  He told his parents to move the kids to St. Louis and put them in a Nazarene or Baptist children’s home in Missouri. “I do not want my kids in a Texas foster home.”

  In another conversation, Dick asked Rick where they could find the children’s birth certificates. If anyone adopted the boys, they’d need those.

  “The point is to get the kids out of state and up in St. Louis. Don’t mess it up,” Rick responded.

  CPS laid out a family service plan that included psychological evaluation for Rick as well as his attendance at parenting classes. In a late March hearing, Rick’s lawyer argued that the plan was designed to set McFarland up for defeat. Judge Peter Sakai overruled her, insisting on compliance if Rick wanted full rights with the boys.

  After the hearing, his attorney told the media, “He doesn’t want to comply with the treatment plan, nor could he because he is incarcerated.”

  The boys’ future remained up in the air. Rick’s parents had physical limitations that prohibited the adoption of the children. Rick’s brothers made no indication that they were interested in pursuing it. The family lawyer expressed their hope that Rick would be exonerated and reunited with his children.

  Sue’s family was not entertaining that possibility at all. They were listening to the advice of CPS workers who assured them that the best interest of the boys was to remain in their current stable situation until the guilt or innocence of their father was determined. They believed this appraisal and, regardless, didn’t think the courts would sanction any other course of action at this time. They did not realize that long-term placement in a foster home gave the foster parents as much power in determining the future of the children as any of the family members.

  While they waited, Sue’s family considered their options for the future. Although the state had taken a position that the boys should all stay together, they questioned the advisability of that proposition. It might be preferable for each boy to be in a separate home—homes where they could get the intense one-on-one care they needed.

  Because of the age difference between Sue and her three older siblings, her sister and brothers were beyond the child-rearing stage and were now welcoming grandchildren into their lives. Nonetheless, Ann and her husband Gary were still willing to adopt one of the boys. Kirsten, closer to Sue’s age, was a single mother—her hands full with the responsibilities of raising her two children and supporting their household.

  They did, however, want all of the children placed with blood relatives. They wanted the boys to remain part of their lives, to be grounded in the security of a shared family history. While they searched for good alternatives within their own family, they also reached out to Rick’s relatives. Ann talked to both of Rick’s brothers, Don and David, about the possibility. She made sure they knew that Sue’s estate was substantial enough to provide the necessary financial assets to help raise the children and that Sue’s siblings were willing to help with some additional funds if needed. But neither of Rick’s brothers would consider adopting even one of the boys.

  Ann was disappointed—but what did she expect? Neither of the brothers had been eager to help out with the difficult situation in San Antonio in any tangible way. When Ann asked David to assume the responsibility for finding a home for Sally the dog, he said, “I don’t want to do that.” He never offered to do anything else in exchange.

  On April 2, 2003, Sergeant Palmer visited Rick McFarland in his jail cell. He delivered the official charges to the prisoner. Count one: Rick was charged with offering “to confer a benefit upon Richard Clemmer, specifically the purchasing of a dinner, if Richard Clemmer would withhold information from law enforcement.” The second count reiterated the dinner offer “if Richard Clemmer would testify falsely.”

  The final charges were murder/murder by injury, accusing that McFarland “did then and there intending to cause serious bodily injury to an individual, Susan McFarland, commit an act clearly dangerous to human life, its manner and means unknown to the grand jury, thereby causing the death of Susan McFarland against the peace and dignity of the state.”

  Rick would not drop his insistence that his brother David and sister-in-law Julie pursue adoption under false pretenses. On May 7, David and Julie each sent him a letter.

  David elaborated on conversations with attorney Laura Heard regarding the concerns he had expressed in an earlier letter:

  Laura Heard said it’s not that easy to just drop a child off and say it didn’t work out. She said family services could accuse you of child abandonment and your own kids could be at risk of being removed.

  I have cut out part of a letter t
hat was sent to mom and dad from Laura H. explaining it. I’m not making this up.

  Rick you must understand where we are coming from. Besides, there are other issues. We are stressed to the max with our own kids and a new puppy! We are concerned what this would do to our family and marriage. We are not equipped to handle the emotional trauma of what they have been through.

  [. . .] The bottom line is whoever does a home study needs to be sincere about permanent custody! Not for one month!

  Julie did not frame her letter with the words of love and compassion that filled her husband’s letter to Rick. She was far more blunt:

  This serious family problem has affected each of us very personally. Susan is dead—maybe eternally, the boys have been robbed of a mother and a father, and you are jailed. Your parents struggle to survive each day not understanding what is going on. And even David, me and our kids suffer. In an effort to protect me and the kids, David had been doing what I refer to as the “McFarland Crap”—lying or not fully disclosing information, mail, etc. I know this is a staple of the Rick and Susan relationship AND the Don and Debra relationship. I refuse to have a relationship short of best friends, soulmates. To that end I am writing to you to fully disclose my feelings and intentions.

  Your family has always been a challenge—lack of boundaries, constant bickering, half-truths. Your children have been suffering for years and now are ultimately suffering worse than I ever imagined.

  After much counseling and discussion, our household will not apply for temporary, permanent, semipermanent, etc. custody of the boys. I realize our decision may put you at risk of losing your parental rights. What incredible guilt!! Whose guilt? The answer lies inside of you—David and I are not to blame for the consequences of your actions. Please note we have attempted to pour out unconditional love to you—whether you are guilty or innocent of destroying Susan and your family.

  It is quite difficult to watch you remain silent—using your Christian-ese—either proclaim your true innocence before us all or show sorrow and remorse and move toward forgiveness.

  She then ordered him not to mention the custody of the boys in any future correspondence with David.

  46

  Rick received a letter from his father in early June that explained the rules requiring both cash and collateral to bail him out of jail. Dick explained his fears about signing over their house, vehicles and IRA accounts to the court.

  Then his letter turned to the Bank of America situation. “We are so sorry that this creative financing got out of hand. We are still devastated as much as you are.”

  After being ripped off for more than $60,000, Dick offered sympathy instead of rebuke to his son.

  A few days later, a letter arrived from Mona. She talked about a downturn in Dick’s health and chatted about the latest news. Then she lashed out at Sue’s family.

  Dad talked with Gary Carr one day the other week and Gary was saying that the surviving spouse is responsible for all debts. Ann wants you to pay half of the house mortgage and she pays the other half; we suggest that you not sign any papers to that effect. Because, we feel that you will not get a nickel out of the sale of the house, because the Smiths and Carrs will see-to-it that you do not get anything. At least, that is our thinking and feeling now. The Smiths and Carrs being lawyers know the angles and how to dodge around the truth. Sorry to say.

  Anyway, again we must trust the LORD to work out the details.

  Rick did not adjust well to time behind bars. In June, Officer Ledesma conducted a pat-down search before returning him from the law library to his cell. He found two Jolly Rancher candies inside Rick’s left sock. This was a violation of simple facility regulations.

  At his disciplinary hearing, Rick said, “They were in my sock. It was impossible for me to remove them. I normally carry them in my sock because my radio is in my pocket. I forgot to take them out. Ledesma came down. I was lying down. I heard, ‘C’mon, hurry up.’ I didn’t get called til 11:05. I was supposed to go at 10:55. I was told by another inmate that Ledesma socialized with another officer on my time. How much time am I supposed to get to get ready?”

  Rick found no sympathy. His phone, visitation and commissary privileges were removed for four days.

  On August 7, Rick’s cellmate, Max Castillo, informed an officer that he and McFarland were not getting along and might end up fighting. Castillo said that McFarland would not stop accusing him of stealing his commissary and he was sick of it.

  When McFarland was questioned, he said that he had not reported the theft to staff, but he had other inmates in the unit keeping an eye on his cell to see what was going on. He insisted that he knew Castillo took his stuff when Rick went to the law library. He asked that Castillo be relocated to prevent any further escalation of the problem.

  Castillo asked that he and McFarland be listed as enemies. The inmates were separated.

  Later that month, Rick’s new cellmate Kerns complained that McFarland woke him up in the middle of the night and kept him from sleeping by making a lot of noise. And, he said, McFarland kept the cell dirty. McFarland, on the other hand, said he had no problem with Kerns. Kerns was relocated.

  In September, a lieutenant distributing inmates’ mail noticed a note addressed to the unit officer slide under the door. It read:

  You better get the inmate in Cell 13, McFarland, move before it’s too late, because we’re going to take care of it ourselfes [sic].

  Problems with staff and inmates continued throughout McFarland’s stay at the Bexar County Correctional facility.

  47

  In late July, Rick wrote to his ailing father.

  Just got your handwritten letter that you wrote from St. Joseph’s Hospital. It means so much to me that you can say that you still love me as a son. I’ve got tears in my eyes as I write this, Pops. I feel so remorseful how my life is affecting and infecting yours and so many other people’s lives in so many different ways. Daddy, what should I do?

  August was a dismal month for Rick McFarland. He had applied to be part of the PATCH—Papas and Their Children—program at the county jail. Participation required prisoners to attend a class every day to learn about better parenting skills, nutrition, personal hygiene and other matters important to their ability to raise a child after their release. Attendance in classes each week earned the inmate a one-hour contact visit with any and all of their children ages 1 month to 16 years.

  On the second of the month, Rick learned that he was not approved. The security issues involved in contact visits prohibited participation for those men who face drug-dealing or murder charges or who are known to be gang members.

  A harder blow hit Rick on August 7—his father passed away. Mona called the jail and asked that Rick be allowed to call her and that a chaplain be provided. “He will need someone to lean on and will need a lot of comforting.”

  Jail officials permitted that call as well as another one that Rick placed to one of his brothers. Daryl Christian, the chaplain from Wayside Ministries visited him that same day.

  Rick was outraged that he could not go to St. Louis with his boys to his father’s funeral. Instead, a CPS caseworker and the court-appointed foster father accompanied William and James. The boys’ foster mother remained in Texas with Timmy, who she decided was too young to go to the services. His Aunt Ann wondered why Timmy could not come up and visit with the family even if he did not attend the funeral.

  Rick wrote a eulogy for his father that, in his absence, was read to the crowd of mourners by another family member. From the pen of a wife-killer, the final words of the missive were heavy with a message of faith and love:

  I was most privileged last summer in July 2002 while visiting my family in St. Louis to confirm in person my knowing that my dad is a Christian, a saved child of God. I had him explain to me that the key to Heaven’s Gate is not earned by earthly good works or because he was a good citizen. Dad verbalized then prayed with me that he yieldingly accepted the gift of God’s salv
ation, by him not earning but receiving the Lord Jesus Christ’s Saving Grace.

  We both put a navy style double square-knot on Dad’s Life Eternal Confirmation.

  What a classic Dad.

  What a friend.

  What a guy.

  What a blessing for all of us who came in close contact with Richard Lyle McFarland.

  He was a man of few words.

  He was a man of uplifting actions.

  Such was my Dad’s earthly life. Gosh, I am going to so very truly miss his presence down here. I really look forward to catching up with Dad in Heaven. Daddy, I love you so much.

  The Smith family wondered where that faith was on the night Rick murdered Sue.

  While they were in town, Ann took the boys out to the cemetery where Sue was interred. They talked about how wonderful their grandfather looked in his naval officer uniform complete with ceremonial sword. They wanted to know if their mom was beautiful in her casket. Honesty forced Ann to tell them that their mother’s body was cremated.

  William and James blanched with horror. “You burned up our mother?”

  Ann paled, inwardly cursed Rick and then explained. “I know that is what your mother would have wanted. We talked about cremation after our mom died last year.” She then quoted scripture about ashes to ashes and the boys seemed willing to accept what happened.

  Thank God, Ann thought, that for the moment, they were unaware of what their father did to their mother’s body before she was found. She knew they would find out one day. She hoped they would have the emotional maturity to cope with it when that time came.

  There was no headstone on Sue’s gravesite yet, but Ann pointed to the patch of ground where she rested. “Here’s your mom. She’s buried next to her mom and dad.”

  “Where are you going to put my dad?” James asked.

  Ann froze. How could she answer this question without causing pain? “Well,” she said, “your dad’s not dead, so we don’t have to worry about that right now, do we?”