One Of The Guys

by Johnson, Ashley

  “I’ll call her back later.” I responded quickly before sliding the phone back into my front pocket.

  “Sam, I know this is none of my business but she called earlier before your fight and I answered the phone.”

  “You did what?! That’s my privacy Cole. What the hell?!” The drink stayed untouched as I pulled myself away from him. He’s just telling me this now? The opportunity presented itself on the ride here for him to tell me and he waits until now. This seemed a little too familiar to me as I found myself standing outside Joe’s leaning against the wall. And it became even more familiar as he stood in front of me.

  “Sam, hold on a damn minute. Why haven’t you called her back? She just wants to talk to you about your dad.”

  My eyes practically bugged out of my head as my mind wrapped itself around what he just said. “I don’t want to talk about him. I’m done with that. Done.”

  “He wants to get help Sam.” He stated quietly. I didn’t want to have this conversation right now. The whole topic put a whole damper on my whole night and brought up things I wished more than anything to be able to forget. I was moving on with my life away from all of that and Dad needed to do the same thing. Nothing he had to say could change anything. Nothing could change the way he treated me, the way he talked to me, and the way he started a fight with me just to have me arrested. If he wants help that’s fine but my heart is heavy and exhausted. Can I forgive and forget? Forgive…maybe? Forget….I’m not so sure.

  I clenched my chest trying to catch my breath. “Look, I don’t want to talk about this tonight ok. Can we just go home?”

  “I’m sorry Sam.” I hate the way he sounds right now but I’m mad. I can’t help but be. I don’t need superman to come in and save me.

  The ride home is so quiet, it’s awkward. Cole reached over to try to and hold my hand; I pulled away just wanting nothing more than to lay my head against this window as he drives. It’s not his fault; I mean it is because he answered it and didn’t tell me until a few minutes ago. Can I hold that against him? I shouldn’t but I seem to be. Fighting wasn’t what I wanted to do tonight, I’ve done my fighting for the night and it was in the ring. I draw in a deep breath before I reach over and lace our fingers together. His body loosens up as he tells me he loves me. I want to be mad, just like he wanted to be mad at me for not telling him about my fight earlier but I can’t help it.

  We lay in bed in absolute silence for the first time in two weeks. I held true to my words inside Joe’s. I didn’t want to discuss this. I didn’t want to fight. What hurt more other than us not talking was neither of us bothered to even try to touch the other. Did I think about it? Yes I did. I wanted him to hold me but like his toast earlier, I am stubborn. It took long enough but I finally fell asleep and when I woke the next morning, I was on his chest where I belonged.

  Chapter 31

  Cole

  Maybe I should have stayed quiet. Her phone rang and she passed the call off yet again. This wasn’t the way I wanted to spend the night, but to wake up with her lying on my chest, well that made it a little better. I don’t want to push the issue of her Dad but as I recall the conversation with her step mom, all I could hear was the pleading in her voice that I tell Sam to call her back. I can’t hold the phone up to her ear and make her talk but I can try like hell to get her to at least communicate with her somehow. She doesn’t realize how lucky she is to have her Dad still alive. Even if he did make some really shitty decisions. If there’s a chance to mend their fences I’m all for it, you never know when it’s your last day. Boy oh boy, what I would do to go back in time and not get that phone call telling me both my parents were killed. What I would do to not have to find Wendy and tell her. What I would do to not be holding her in the cab of the truck as we both cried wondering why this was happening to us. It was the worst feeling ever to sit in that funeral home and stare at both caskets; I never want to know anything like that ever again in my life.

  Sam stirs in her sleep and as she moves her head, I feel the slight dampness of drool on my shirt. I can’t help but lightly chuckle as I run my fingers through her hair. She stirs a little more and those gorgeous blue eyes of hers open to meet mine. “Good morning baby.”

  She returns the smile and stifles a yawn as she replies, “Good morning.”

  “Did you sleep well?”

  “No.” She pouts. “I can’t sleep well at all when I’m not in your arms.” Her hair threatens to fall onto her face but she pulls it behind her ear and before I can blink, she’s straddling me. Aroused is a complete understatement. I moan as she arranges her perfect little frame against my body and no doubt she can feel how much I want her right now.

  “I’m sorry baby.” That’s the only words I can get out before she leans down, her hair falling around my face, as she crushes her lips to mine letting out a soft moan as our tongues begin to tangle. She’s wearing more clothes than I would like her too and it doesn’t take much before her tank top is off and one of her breasts are in my mouth where they belong. Her back arches as she moans in delight begging me for more. I stop for a brief second so she can slide her shorts off. She slides herself on top of me, her mouth forming the perfect ‘o’ as she gets comfortable. I cup her perfect ass as she begins to move up and down, and oh damn, this feels too amazing. There’s no words that can come close to possibly describing how amazing this feels. I’m shook to my core as I feel myself come and when she loses control, her perfect body falls against mine . We’re both trying to gain control of our breathing again that was so hot.

  She steps into the bathroom to clean up and I keep thinking maybe I can convince her to talk to her Dad. No way in hell do I want to ruin this amazing morning we’ve had though. My phone rings and its Wendy. “Hello?”

  “Hey Cole, it’s Rocky.”

  “Is something wrong? What’s going on?” A sudden feeling of panic settles in my stomach and I can’t shake it for anything. I don’t like this.

  “Everything’s fine now. Wendy was hurting and I brought her to the emergency room. Something about some fake contractions…er, Braxton Hicks or something. But she’s fine and we’re heading home. I just wanted to let you know.”

  Thank you God. I was fully prepared to yank Sam out of the bathroom and drive to the hospital. “Shit, you had me worried Rock. Is that normal?”

  “According to the doctor it is. I won’t lie, I was scared shitless.”

  “Damn. I’m glad she’s ok.”

  “We’re going home and she’s on strict orders to rest for the rest of the day.”

  “Yeah, good luck with that one.”

  He laughed knowing just as well as I did that Wendy was stubborn as shit. Trying to get her to sit still and relax would be like pulling teeth. “Yeah man I know.”

  Sam came walking out the bathroom in nothing but a towel and my heart stopped for a brief second. Damn the things this girl does to me. However, she didn’t stick around too long. The door to the bedroom shut and another minute later she emerged wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

  “Everything ok? You look a little worried.”

  “Rocky called and said Wendy was in the hospital for some Braxton Hick’s contractions but she’s fine. She has to stay in bed the rest of the day.”

  Sam laughed, “Well, Rocky will have fun with that.”

  See, we all knew how Wendy was. Sam’s phone rang and she glared, rolled her eyes, and then stepped into the room to answer the phone. The door wasn’t shut but I didn’t dare try to invade her space and listen. Yeah ok, whatever. I casually walked over to the room standing to where she couldn’t see me. Of course, everything was being said in such a hush hush tone, I ended up walking away and grabbing an apple off the table. Before I can take a bite of the shiny red apple, her arms slide around my waist and her head rests against my back. She says nothing for a brief moment and neither do I, until she sighs and asks, “Will you come with me?”

  She doesn’t see my smile as I tell her yes. She ha
s no idea how relieved I am to hear her ask and how even more relieved I am that she’s giving this a chance.

  Chapter 32

  Sam

  The phone rang briefly pulling me away from any form of happiness I was having this morning. When I saw Brenda’s name once again, I knew I needed to answer it. She would keep calling until I did and Cole would keep pressing the issue. I agreed to meet with Brenda alone this first time. Apparently Dad and she have been talking and although there was not a snowballs chance in hell they were working anything out, I suppose this was a good thing. I drew in a deep breath and began to count to fifteen, yes I know that’s a random number, and as I let it out, I made my way to find Cole. He stood in the kitchen about to eat an apple when I slid my arms around his waist. I could feel his body instantly relax under my touch. “Will you come with me?”

  Please say yes. I can’t do this on my own. I need you. There wasn’t a hint of hesitation in his voice when he told me yes. I probably would have thrown myself on the floor like a toddler kicking and screaming if he had told me no. He has no idea how much this means to me and how much I need him there.

  I’m antsy the whole ride to Brenda’s. The fact that we passed Dad’s house didn’t even faze me. There was nothing that could be said or done to calm my nerves or so it seemed. Why did I agree to do this again? Right, because I like to do the right thing and I somehow believe in second chances. Cole pulled up and I was relieved to not see Dad’s vehicle. She had told me he wouldn’t be there but part of me believed they were playing me. As if I weren’t already tense, I couldn’t help but jump when Cole asked if I was ok. I practically shot out the roof of the truck. “Yeah babe. I’m fine. Thank you for coming. You have no idea how much this means to me. I’m just talking to Brenda today. I have to work my way up to talking to him, I know that must sound harsh but this is how it has to be.”

  He leaned in pressing a kiss against my forehead, bringing me to a screeching calm. I needed this calm right now, especially when I looked towards the door and Brenda stood waiting for us to come inside. I griped Cole’s hand for dear life as we began to walk towards her. “Geez babe,” he quietly laughed. Oops, guess I was holding his hand a little harder than I needed to.

  My grip loosened and then fell as I pulled Brenda in for a hug and introduced her to Cole. She gave a very approving smile as she looked him up and down before inviting us inside. I sat on the same couch I sat on every time I came to see her. The same couch that heard about Marsh and I breaking up. The same couch that heard about the black eye I endured. This time, there were no tears to be shed and I felt I could breathe easier. She handed us each a glass of sweet tea, I took a sip quickly to quench my thirst. My throat was suddenly dry from the stress of being here.

  “Thank you for coming Samantha, you have no idea how much this means to your father and me.” Those eight little words keep popping up today: ‘You have no idea how much this means”. My eyes wanted to roll into the back of my head but I wouldn’t let them. Instead I plastered a smile to my face pretending to care to be there. Cole just sat patiently as Brenda continued to speak. “Your father called me a few weeks ago completely broken. I’ve never heard him sound like he did and I agreed to meet with him to talk. It took a lot of convincing on his part, it’s just not something I was willing to do. That’s why I understood your reasoning to avoid my phone calls. I would have avoided them too.”

  “I’m sorry about that Brenda. I just, I didn’t know what to say or do. And I got mad at Cole when he told me he answered the phone. I never meant to ignore you, I know you meant well.”

  She continued, “Your father has started going to anger management classes to try and help him. He wants to talk to you privately, in a few weeks he can bring anyone he’s hurt to his meeting to talk to them in person and he wants you and I to go. He wants to make things right. I know it doesn’t fix anything but it’s a start for him and a chance at healing. He told me everything, I know about you being arrested and I know this isn’t easy.”

  The room feels like it’s closing in on me and the sudden emotion of sadness comes over me as I clasp my hand over my mouth and run for the door. I need air. Lots of fresh air. Why didn’t this happen before I left the house? Why was I getting so damn emotional over this too? Makes no damn sense. Maybe it’s because this is what I’ve wanted all along and now it’s finally happening. Wouldn’t that make these happy tears instead of sad ones? My thoughts are gone like ash in the wind when Cole’s voice flows like velvet through my ears.

  “You ok? I know it’s not easy to hear that, it’s alright you hear me?” He grabs my hand in his and brings my knuckles to his mouth as he plants a kiss on them. Yeah, I definitely couldn’t have done this without him. My eyes focus on the branches on the trees. They focus on how intricate they are and the way they flow causing the green leaves to cascade the way they do. Trees don’t have feelings. They don’t know what it’s like to be hurt; it’s a tree for crying out loud. I’m drawn back to reality when his voice breaks into the thoughts I was now having on how white and fluffy the damn clouds were. “Sam?”

  It’s now or never as I turn to really face him and stare into his eyes. Did I ever think I would find myself in this position? Hell no. Did I think I’d ever be with Cole? Nope. Was I really understanding everything that Brenda was telling me? Kinda hard not to get it. The fact that he’s here with me means more than he could possibly imagine.

  “I know. I should uh get back inside. I didn’t mean to run out like that.” I didn’t let go of his hand as we walked back inside. I mumbled an apology to Brenda before making plans to finally meet with my dad. The nerves sitting inside are more than I feel I can handle and I’m ready to just go back home and crawl into bed. Tomorrow. That’s when I’m promising to meet with him. Brenda tells me she will get back with me with a time and place. My gut says I shouldn’t trust any of this but another part of me tells me that this is something I shouldn’t ignore. Life is too short. I never even knew my mother but had the blessing of having a wonderful father to call mine. So yeah, things happen and these past few months he was a totally different person, a monster even, but people can change I suppose.

  I once was a young girl sitting on her dad’s lap while he read her some of her favorite books. I once was a young girl whose dad played baby dolls with her when he would get home from an exhausting day at work. I was once the apple of his eye, his pride and joy. Maybe he was stressed to the max with work. No excuses, I know. I just remember, like it was yesterday all the times we spent watching football with Brenda and well, you know who. Can he change? I’m not sure but I hope so. Will I ever move back home? Most likely not but to have our relationship again? I’d do anything. There were those moments before I was arrested when he did hold a decent conversation with me and then and even now it breaks my heart. I miss him. If this doesn’t work, then well I’m out of ideas and frankly I won’t give a damn anymore.

  Chapter 33

  Cole

  We talk with her step mom a little longer before Sam begins to show signs she’s ready to go. Her full answers have decreased to single words like ‘yeah’ and ‘ok’. Sitting still was proving to be a real chore no matter how firmly I held her hand in mine. If I could take this pain away from her I would. I don’t know how she’s honestly feeling inside. It’s refreshing to see how at peace she is with talking with her step mom. Their conversation flows easily until her dad gets brought up once again and then Sam tenses up and quickly changes the subject. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, she’s meeting with him and I told her no matter what I will be there for her. I won’t let her do that alone. I shoot a quick text to check on Wendy and within a minute Rocky let me know she is sleeping like she should be. Good. I was worried about her.

  My phone vibrates with a text message from Trey. It worked for breaking the ice and helping make the escape Sam so greatly wanted to make. She just didn’t want to be the one to speak up and say anything.

  Trey: Hey asshat, the fair is in t
own. Bring your ass down here.

  The fair? The wheels begin turning in my head as I think about how good this can be. What better way to take Sam’s mind off everything? I respond quickly.

  Me: Shut up. We’ll be there.

  Sam can read my mind like no other. It’s kinda scary. The minute my phone is in my pocket, she raises her eyebrow at me trying to make me break but I am steady as a rock. I don’t give her the satisfaction. When she notices, she stands and proceeds to tell Brenda bye. Brenda hugs me telling me how thankful she is that I am in Sam’s life. What I really want to tell her is that she has no idea how thankful I am that Sam is in mine, but I don’t. I simply smile. Sam finally lets a breath out and begins to breathe normally once we are in the front yard making our way to my truck.

  Like I’ve done it a million times before, I open the door letting her get in, not shutting it until I get a kiss. She seems scared still, probably wondering if she made the right decision. I know she did and I’m so proud of her. I pull her hand into mine wanting her to feel safe and a smile instantly spreads across her face. I love those beautiful blue eyes of hers so much.