One Of The Guys

by Johnson, Ashley

  “Sam, he wouldn’t dare put his hands on you. He loves you. He won’t shut the hell up about you. I like you and all but damn the boy doesn’t stop. In a little, you need to let him know I’ve got you so he doesn’t worry.”

  Letting out a sigh, I stare out the window until Trey taps my arm handing me a bottle of beer. Immediately, my nose scrunched up. Obviously he doesn’t know I don’t like the taste of beer. He reaches down and pulls out a water bottle.

  “Water Trey? No thanks I’ll wait til we get there.”

  “Water? Please. What kind of man do you think I am? It’s vodka.” My eyes practically bugged out of my head as I opened the bottle and tried to smell it. Eventually I put the plastic bottle to my lips and threw a quick sip back. The liquid burned sliding down my throat and continued to burn for another few seconds before I could open my eyes. Once he parked, I had taken a few sips out of the bottle and stepping out of the vehicle was quite the task. Groups of people walked past heading towards the doors. Trey stood beside me for a minute and then nudged my elbow. Shit, I needed to text Cole now. That was why he handed me vodka, to loosen me up and make this not so hard.

  The phone is sitting in my hand opened to his name but I can’t find the strength to begin typing. “Get to typing missy or I’ll do it for you. You don’t want that.” Oh dear lord he was right. No telling what he would type to Cole.

  You can do this Sam. It’s just a damn text message. Suck it up and just type something. The sooner I send this text, the sooner I can go inside so without thinking too hard on it I just type.

  Sam: I’m with Trey. Don’t worry.

  Short and sweet. I don’t even wait for his answer when I slide the phone back into my pocket. Flashing Trey a smile to let him know it’s done, he motions for me to walk towards Joe’s and once I’m inside I’m standing in front of the bar waiting. Trey has some red head practically sucking his ears clean and I want to barf as I sip my long island iced tea. The bartender suggested it and it seemed like a good idea until I drank it too fast and had to catch myself. Laughing uncontrollably, I decided to order a second one.

  “Sam, we getting fucked up tonight!” Trey high-fived me before slamming back his shot glass. That sounded fine to me. My mind was a little too heavy and needed to be cleared.

  A few drinks later we were both pretty toasted. His eyes took on a sad tone as he began talking, “I didn’t use to come out a lot you know. I was a mellow guy. My mom has cancer and she’s dying. How fucked up is that? She’s dying and I’m out getting fucked up.”

  “Trey, I’m so sorry.” I had no idea. This was the first I’ve ever heard of this. I can’t imagine what he must be feeling.

  “I fight to help pay her medical bills. No one but Rocky and Cole knows this but we’re good friends so I know I can trust you. I even met a girl….” He stopped mid-sentence when a song came on catching his attention. I was so lit I didn’t pry like I should have because I could swear he just said he met a girl. And ever since I’ve known Trey, I know he doesn’t meet girls. Not in the normal sense anyway.

  We danced like there was no tomorrow. It should have felt a little awkward to be grinding my ass on Trey but I was so drunk I could have cared less. My dancing partner strayed when some girl began practically stripping on the dance floor. His eyes jumped out his head and he shot me an I’m sorry look as his now hungry eyes rested on her almost bared chest. I wiped the beads of sweat from my brow as I walked clumsily towards the bar. My heart raced as thoughts of Marsh in that uniform came creeping back up. Oh. My. God. What I would do to get him out of that uniform. He’s still working I think. My eyes roam the packed dance floor for Trey and when I see him, I make my move outside. Except I’m not sure it should be considered walking, more like tripping. I laugh at myself as I fumble for my phone and ignore a message from Cole. Two can play this game. Once again, his face flashes in my head and it’s the face that scares me so much but then I see the face that I love more than anything. Ugh this is so damn confusing. I push it away and dial the one number I know I shouldn’t even be thinking about right now.

  Chapter 35

  Cole

  I could pace this apartment all night if I need to. I’m such a damn idiot. I just couldn’t stand to see him talking to her. This is why I don’t need relationships. She’s mad I know it. She just up and left to go out. Without me. I wish I could explain why I got so mad about it. Maybe it’s I’m terrified to lose her. Whatever it is, I don’t like how I felt and I’m not sure I can forgive myself for acting like a complete ass. I felt a little better when she texted and said she was with Trey. That pretty much figures, but I know he will keep her safe and no douche in their right mind would go anywhere near her. Despite feeling a little better about the situation, I’m still on edge waiting for her to come home. She deliberately said not to wait up but I’ll wait no matter how late it is.

  One bowl of ice cream and well make that two bowls of ice cream later, my nerves are sitting on end and I’m pacing again. I grab my phone and call Wendy hoping she can help me make this mess better.

  “Hello?” She sounded like she was in the middle of something. Oh damn, I hope not.

  “Hey sis, what’s going on?” I wipe my sweaty palms on my shorts trying to calm down but nothing is working.

  “I’m resting like the doctor told me to. It sucks ass completely. Rocky keeps fussing at me. What are you doing?”

  Here goes nothing. “Well, I’m sitting here alone. Sam went out with Trey.”

  Silence. “Why’d she do that?”

  “I kind of flipped at the fair because her ex told her hi.”

  “The hot guy? Mmmm he is scrumptious.” I could practically hear her drooling and I prayed she would stop soon; it was making my stomach turn.

  “Yeah Wendy that one. Now she’s mad and she said she wanted to get out the house alone. How bad did I fuck up?”

  “Well, I can’t tell you how bad because I wasn’t there. How bad did you overreact?”

  The events play through my head once more and I feel like an ass as I personally relive it. He walks up to her, she talks. That’s it. I am so stupid. Nothing happened. Sam was right. It was nothing more than a conversation. He was in uniform for crying out loud, obviously working the fair. It’s here in this moment that I can see how much I blew it out of proportion. Did I really raise my voice to her? Fuck, I did. No wonder she wouldn’t talk to me.

  “I raised my voice….”

  “WHAT?!” She screeched through the phone sending pins stabbing me in the eardrum. She continued to scream while I held the phone away from my throbbing ear. When the coast seemed clear to talk again, I returned the phone. “Cole Johnson, tell me you didn’t.”

  “I didn’t mean to.” I run my fingers through my hair as I throw myself on the couch frustrated as hell. I didn’t mean to at all and if I could go back, I never would have brought that up at the fair. I could have let it go but instead I was an asshole and now she’s upset.

  “Have you ever thought that maybe you scared her? Do you not remember the things she’s been through at home?”

  Fuck. It makes sense now. “I’d never hurt her Wendy. You know that.”

  “Yeah but does she? Look I’ve got to pee and I doubt you want to hear that. Just talk to her when she gets home. Everything will be ok. Trey’s with her, she’s safe.”

  “Love you Wendy. Thank you.”

  “Love you too brother.”

  I end the call and contemplate texting her but I don’t want to suffocate her. She can have her space for the night and when she gets home, I’ll get down on my knees if I have to. Anything I have to do to beg for her forgiveness, I’ll do it. Anything to get Sam back to me in my arms where she belongs. Anything to get these thoughts of possibly losing her out of my head. Nothing scares me in this world, nothing scares me like the thought of being without her. I turn the TV on and settle for some Tosh.0 reruns on Comedy Central while waiting for her to come home. For the first time in weeks, this apa
rtment feels empty and hollow, just like I feel and I hate it. I almost have the urge to jump in my truck and go down to Joe’s but I stop myself. Why was I so stupid? I get up and search for the giant pink teddy bear and once it’s in my arms, I cling to it as if it were her in my arms and the feeling is so comfortable, I almost fall asleep.

  Chapter 36

  Sam

  Marsh answered almost immediately and I burst into a fit of giggles on the other end of the phone. “Sam, is that you? Are you ok?”

  “Who the hell else would be calling from my phone?” Here comes another fit of giggles as I slide my body down the brick wall until my ass rests firmly on the ground.

  “Are you drunk?” He asked, his voice laced with concern.

  “If I am, will you arrest me? I’ve been a bad, bad girl.” More giggles. The phone almost falls from my hands as my body shakes from laughing. Lucky for myself I catch it.

  “Sam,”

  “Say my name one more time.” I jump in unwanted I’m sure.

  “Samantha, tell me where you are. Please tell me you aren’t driving.” Oh no, I must be in trouble because he called me Samantha. My slave name. Ok no more drinking tonight.

  “I’m at Joe’s. What’s it matter to you whether I drive or not?”

  “I’m coming to get you.” The call ended abruptly and I caught myself staring at the screen willing his voice to appear again.

  Within a few minutes, his truck pulled up to the curb and once again I threw my head back laughing. I tried to stop to keep myself from looking like a complete idiot but I couldn’t. My legs tried to stand but felt like jello. Marsh helped me up not once complaining about the fact that his ex-girlfriend called him because she was drunker than Cooter Brown. “Where is Adryian? She joining the party?”

  “She’s out of town Sam and there’s no party. Where are you staying so I can bring you home? I know it’s not with your dad.”

  Ugh, the dreaded conversation comes up. For a brief moment, I seem to be a glutton for punishment as I open my mouth to speak. “I really really have to pee like really really bad. Please Marsh.” One flash of puppy dog eyes at him and he sighed as he turned down an upcoming street pulling up to his apartment. The apartment that should have been ours. I feel sick to my stomach as the truck stops and he opens the door for me.

  “You remember where it is?” He asks as if I’ve been here more than once. But I remember. I remember everything from that day we found this place. The thought to lose all the liquor in my stomach comes when I see a picture of him and Adryian hanging on the wall by the bathroom door. The ocean colored tile meets my eye as I walk into the bathroom. That floor is one of the things that attracted me to this apartment and now she gets to walk on it every day.

  My eye catches a box in the trashcan. My vision is blurred as I stare at it trying to make sure I’m reading this right. A pregnancy test? What the hell?

  Stupidly, I ask, “What the hell is this Marsh?”

  “Oh, uh. Sorry. She had a scare the other day.” He says it like its nothing.

  “Oh, well I, uh sorry…” Dammit, I’m babbling. A pregnancy test. She could have been pregnant for Marsh’s baby? This reality sucks big time.

  A wave of nausea hits me as I realize I don’t have to pee anymore. Instead, I find myself kneeling over the toilet talking to the porcelain gods. Nothing sits in my stomach any longer but I can’t quit dry heaving. I feel like an idiot, especially when Marsh begins rubbing my back while pulling my hair out of my face. Any attempt made to move is deeply regretted and I mutter once or twice for him to just leave me here. He doesn’t listen though. He scoops me up, my arms immediately wrapping around his neck. He lays me in his bed; I would notice this brown checked comforter anywhere. I kick to remove my shoes and I hear him groan as I feel my pants getting removed. He doesn’t try anything though. I hear him mumble that my clothes are splattered with vomit as he replaces my clothes with simply one of his t-shirts. The last thing I remember was curling up in the fetal position and forgetting everything.

  **************

  My head wants to explode. My eyes stay shut for fear of just how horrible this hangover really is. After countless debates in my head over whether I should or shouldn’t, I open them and try to scream but nothing comes out. What. The. Hell. Why am I in Marsh’s bed? And more important where is he? I groan as I slowly climb out of the bed and its then I realize the blue t-shirt I’m wearing is not my own and where the hell are my pants. Fuck. My feet are stable on the floor when Marsh comes walking in like nothing.

  “Ohmigod can you knock?!” I scrambled to wrap the sheet around me, bringing myself to the ground in the process.

  “Chill out Sam, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” He’s acting so cool about this. Did we sleep together last night? Oh god please tell me we didn’t.

  “Did we….”

  “No.” He interrupted. “You threw up and had vomit on your clothes so I took your pants off and washed them. Here, I’ll step out so you can change.”

  I grabbed a hold of the jeans as if they were a first place trophy and quickly put them on. I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life. At least I didn’t go home with some random stranger, that could have been totally brutal and how would I explain that to Cole? Oh. My. Hell. Cole. He has got to be furious.

  “Marsh,” I yell from his room. “Where’s my phone?”

  He stepped into the room shirtless, damn I can’t breathe, handing me the phone. I was scared to look at the little screen that I held onto so tightly. Drawing in a deep breath, I looked to find about thirty missed calls and around fifty text messages. Deep shit, that’s what I’m in. Rocky and Wendy called then Trey and the bulk of the calls were from Cole.

  I cringed as I opened text messages especially the ones from Cole. What in the hell was I thinking last night?

  Wendy: Sam, where are you?

  Trey: Where did you go? I can’t find you….Cole’s going to shit.

  Cole: Sam where are you…Trey said you disappeared

  Cole: Baby, I’m sorry for our fight please call me. I’m worried about you.

  Trey: Call me Sam

  The messages went on and on saying the same thing. Wondering where I was. I had to slide the phone into my pocket to keep from having to remind myself of last night. The one place I actually wanted to be was probably the last place I should be but I ask Marsh to bring me to the gym. More like I ask him to bring me to the Starbucks across the street and I can walk to the gym.

  “Thank you for helping me.” I mumble as I climb into his truck. Mentally I’m trying to prepare myself for the backlash that is sure to come shortly. Cole’s already tried to call the phone this morning and I can’t bring myself to answer. Seeing him is going to hurt enough, doing it all at once will be painful enough.

  “I told you we’re friends Sam. I will help you anytime you need it. I would ask about your Dad but after that night, I pretty much know. You have no idea how much I worried about you after you walked out.” He pulls out his driveway and I swallow still trying to prepare myself. This sucks.

  “You didn’t seem to have been that worried. Adryian got her claws into you.”

  “Sam,” he sighed. “I tried to call you. I tried to talk to you and you ignored me. She came up to me one day and asked me out what was I supposed to say?” I couldn’t help but gag as he told me how she asked him out.

  “Please Marsh, I really don’t want to hear this.” Staring out the window is the only thing that seems to help release me from this personal hell I’m reliving. “Does she live with you?”

  Wrong question. “She does.” He answers without moving his eyes from the road. I can’t even read the expression on his face. Wow. Every breath I had was just sucked from me.

  “Oh.” Saved by the Starbucks, we pull in and I glance across the street to see everyone there and panic washes over me as I put on my best smile and look one more time at the guy who once held my heart. “Thank you Marsh. I’m sorry about la
st night, really. I can’t apologize enough. I’m sorry I opened my mouth about what I saw, that wasn’t my business.”

  “Stop,” he chuckled. “It’s ok Sam, I promise. Everything’s ok. It was good to see you.” I simply nod my head as I step out the truck and watch him drive away. Once the road looks clear I make my way across the street.

  My feet move fast but slow at the same time. This torture has to end now. Although in my drunken state I called Marsh, all I can think about now is how much I love Cole. Chaos, my life has turned into nothing but a swirling ring of chaos and with some luck Cole just may forgive me for my Houdini act last night. If I had slept with Marsh, I would have never been able to forgive myself.

  Slowly I pull the door to Lou’s open and draw in a deep breath as I step inside. All eyes are on me as I walk across the floor and here in this moment I want nothing more to break out into ugly sobs as Cole locks eyes with me.