The Loner

by Josephine Cox

  He led Don outside, through the barns and into the area behind the house. ‘Good God!’ Having wended his way through dilapidated buildings and pitted walkways, he was astonished to see before him the largest, smartest run of stables he had ever seen, and beyond that, the land opening out as far as the eye could see … acres upon acres of fine pasture, with a number of fine-looking horses contentedly grazing.

  ‘Is all this yours?’ Don looked into the little man’s face and saw the answer written there.

  ‘All of it … every square inch.’ Jimmy suddenly appeared ten feet tall. ‘Up to three years ago, I was just a worker here – fetching and carrying, putting the horses out, bringing them in … a general dogs body.’

  He had a story to tell. ‘The old man who owned it had me doing all the dirty work. He hardly ever spoke, and when he did it was to bark out an order.’

  He gave a grateful wink and a cock of the head. ‘When he passed on, I found to my amazement that the old bugger had left me six hundred acres of land and that fine block of stables, complete with the horses that belonged in them. My master even wrote me a note to say how much he’d appreciated my loyalty over the years, and that he had issued instructions that, if any of his family should oppose his will, they were to be shut out of it altogether.’

  He chuckled. ‘I got plenty of black looks from the sons at the will-reading. But there was never a word said.’

  As they walked the fields, he had more to tell. ‘See that big house over there?’ Pointing up to the property, he said, ‘That was where my master lived. I was in the old cottage where I am now.’

  ‘So, he didn’t leave you the house then?’

  Jimmy shook his head. ‘No, and I wouldn’t have wanted it neither. I’m a simple man with simple tastes. The house went to his daughter, a nice lady; very private since the divorce … keeps herself to herself. Yes, she got the house and gardens, and the two sons had all the money split between them.’

  On the way back, Jimmy outlined his plans. ‘I’ve been left some of the best horses you’ll find this side of heaven – all mares, all top pedigree, and most of ’em in foal to a good stallion. It’s a matter of balance,’ he explained. ‘The two sons were left the money but no land, whereas I’ve been left the land and horses but no money – which means I need to sell the foals so I can feed good foodstuffs to the mares, so I can breed more foals and make the money. From there I can start to build a future.’

  Don had an idea. ‘Why don’t you just sell everything, lock stock and barrel – the horses and land, with your little cottage and barns. Then you can live out the rest of your life in luxury.’

  Jimmy shook his head decisively. ‘Don’t think I haven’t been tempted, because I have. The offers have been amazing. I’ve had offers from the best horse-breeders in the country, and from local farmers who would plough up the land and grow crops in it. Even the old man’s two sons want to get it from me for a pittance, and sell it on for a fortune.’

  He tapped his nose. ‘They all think I’m a brick short of a load, but they don’t know me. For the first and only time in my life, I’ve been given a chance to prove myself – a chance I never dreamed would come my way. I have such plans, Don – such ambitions! I’ve worked here long enough to know the ropes, and now I mean to make a name for myself. I want to show I can be the best. If I don’t take the bull by the horns now, I never will, so I’m going for it, all guns blazing!’

  He paused, a glint of fire in his eyes. ‘Look here, matey, I know you want to go looking for your son, and so you should. But I’m asking you to consider if you could use this as your base- work one day, scour the area the next – until you’ve exhausted this part of the country. You could do it, Don; you could help me and still take time out to search for your son. It would be just for a while, please? I’ve never asked any man for help before, and I swore I never would. But I’m asking you this one thing. Will you consider it?’

  Hands in pockets, eyes big and sad, he made a pitiful sight. ‘If, after a few days, you change your mind, there’ll be no hard feelings. Just give it a try, that’s all I’m asking.’ He paused, searching the Irishman’s face for a hint of agreement. ‘You see, I have a feeling you could help me realise my dream. Will you do it, Don? Will you help me?’

  Don was fired by the little man’s big ambitions. He also knew what it was like to be up against the money men, whose sole aim in life was to grab everything they could and send you on your way with nothing.

  Yet although he wanted so much to help him, he had a dream of his own.

  ‘All right, but I can’t stay long,’ he told Jimmy in a serious voice. ‘In the short time I’ll be here, I give you my word, I’ll do what I can to help you achieve your ambitions. But remember, my knowledge of horses is vastly inferior to your own.’

  Jimmy was not daunted. ‘You’re willing and able, and you have the heart for it,’ he said proudly. ‘And when it comes right down to it, that’s all a man needs.’

  The deal was done with a handshake, and back at the house, Jimmy filled two glasses. ‘Here’s to us,’ he said, raising his own.

  ‘No,’ Don corrected him, ‘Here’s to you … a man and his dream.’

  He would keep his promise to this brave little man. Then, God willing, it was back on the road to find his son.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  ‘YOU’VE MADE A wonderful job of this.’ Judy wandered through the flat over the shop; completely renovated and carefully furnished to make the best of each and every room, it was now an attractive, comfortable home.

  She herself had chosen the plain curtains and fitted carpets, which created a spacious feel, and Lenny had gone for the latest Italian furniture, with its clean strong lines. All in all, it was a pleasant and cosy home, a place where the two of them could be alone and spend many a contented hour.Sliding his arm round her shoulders, Lenny sat her down on the new divan bed. He couldn’t wait to be sharing it with her. ‘In two days’ time we’ll be man and wife.’ His hand reached out to stroke her hair. ‘You could have any man you wanted,’ he murmured, ‘but you chose me.’

  ‘You wouldn’t let me not choose you,’ she laughed, a little sadly.

  ‘You don’t regret it, do you – saying yes, I mean?’

  Detecting the nervousness in his voice, Judy felt guilty and was quick to reassure him. ‘I wouldn’t have said yes, if I didn’t want to marry you.’ Cradling her two hands round his face she drew him down and kissed him full on the mouth, a soft and loving kiss that quickly aroused him.

  ‘I do love you so.’ Unbuttoning her blouse, he slid it over her shoulders, baring her small, pert breasts.

  The knock on the front door startled them. ‘Who can that be?’ While Lenny went down to answer the door, Judy quickly buttoned up her blouse and went to put the kettle on.

  It was Annie. ‘Is Judy here?’ she asked, and Lenny thought she looked as though she’d been crying.

  Concerned, he drew her inside. ‘Are you all right?’

  Annie nodded. ‘Yes. Look, I’m sorry to bother you of an evening, but tomorrow’s the last day before the wedding, and there are things I need to go over with Jude.’ She paused, her voice shaking as she added, ‘I’m sorry, Lenny. I just needed to get out of the house.’

  He took hold of her, could feel her trembling. Something tugged at him. ‘I know there’s summat wrong at home,’ he said sharply. ‘I’ve seen you go downhill for some weeks now, and I’m worried about you. Look, Annie, I care for you, and I want to help. But I can’t do anything if you don’t tell me the truth!’

  ‘Annie?’ Hearing voices, Judy had come downstairs, and she was shocked to see Annie there, looking so upset. ‘Come upstairs, sweetheart.’ While Lenny secured the door, she took Annie up to the sitting room.

  ‘I’m in terrible trouble,’ Annie burst out as they went in and sat down on the settee. ‘I just don’t know what to do any more.’

  For a full minute she sobbed in Judy’s arms, then when she became qui
eter, Judy gently urged her, ‘Talk to me, Annie … Tell me what’s happened to get you into this state.’

  Annie wiped her eyes and sat very still and very quiet for a while, deep in thought and now bitterly regretting her weakness in having come here and worried the only two real friends she had in the whole world.

  Raising her face and plastering a false smile on it, she declared in a bright voice, ‘Look, you two need your privacy.’ She stood up. ‘I’d best be off.’

  They were amazed. ‘What are you talking about?’ Lenny blocked her way. ‘You’re obviously very upset. Somebody’s hurting you, and I for one want to know who. Come on, Annie. We’re all friends together here; nobody else need know, if that’s what you’re worried about.’

  She was adamant. ‘I’m just a bit touchy at the minute, that’s all,’ she said. ‘It’s the wedding, I expect. My nerves are all on edge.’ She laughed. ‘Anyone would think it were me getting wed!’ And oh, how she wished it was.

  She refused the hot drink Judy offered, and she refused Lenny’s offer to take her home in the car. She then made her apologies, and only a few minutes after arriving, she was gone.

  Judy saw her away at the door. ‘I know you’re in trouble,’ she told Annie, ‘but there’s nothing me or Lenny can do, if you won’t confide in us.’

  ‘Nothing to tell.’ Annie gave her a hug and went away up the street at a fast pace. At the corner, she turned round and waved, and then she was gone from sight.

  Upstairs, Lenny was pacing the floor. ‘D’you think she’ll really be all right?’ he asked. Like Judy, he was very concerned.

  ‘She seemed all right,’ Judy sighed, ‘but you never know with Annie. She can be very deep when she wants.’

  ‘Do you think we should have a word with her mother?’ he went on.

  Judy shook her head. ‘Annie wouldn’t thank you for that.’

  ‘So, what can we do?’

  ‘We can’t do anything.’ Judy knew her friend only too well. ‘We have to wait until she decides she can trust us. Until then, all we can do is keep a close eye on her.’

  The mood in the flat was changed, and a short time later, Lenny ran Judy home.

  Annie walked faster and faster until now she was running, tears streaming down her face and the fear so strong inside her, she could hardly breathe.

  Cutting across the fields, she ran like she had never run before; brambles snatched at her legs and tore the skin, and when she stumbled, exhausted, she made no effort to get up. Instead, she lay facedown on the grass, sobbing as though her heart would break. ‘I have to do it!’ she kept saying over and over. ‘I HAVE TO DO IT!’For what seemed an age she lay there as the afternoon turned to evening, making her plans, hoping she was doing the right thing; knowing she should not do it, but seeing no alternative.

  Scrambling to her feet, she brushed herself down and combed her hair with her fingers. Fumbling in her pockets, she found a hankie to wipe the tears and dirt from her face. That done, she walked on, more composed, still afraid – but determined to go through with it.

  When at last she came off into Montague Street , she started the long walk down to number sixteen. ‘I can do it,’ she told herself. ‘I have to!’

  She made it as far as number sixteen. Outside, she paused and waited. ‘Go on, Annie,’ she told herself, taking a long, shuddering breath. ‘You’ve got this far. Don’t back out now.’

  She was gathering all the courage she had when the voice spoke in her ear, making her jump. ‘Are you all right, dear?’ A wizened, goblin-like creature of advanced years was looking at Annie through tiny, quizzical eyes. ‘Only you’ve been standing there ever since I turned the corner at the top. Are you lost, dearie? Tell me who you’re looking for, and I might be able to point you in the right direction?’

  Already nervous, Annie began to panic. ‘It’s all right,’ she stuttered. ‘It’s … mmm … it’s the wrong street.’ She backed away. ‘It’s not Montague Street I want. No, not Montague Street at all.’

  The little goblin watched as Annie went away down the street at a quickening pace. ‘Strange lass!’ She shook her head and trotted along to the corner shop, where she had a snippet of juicy gossip for her old friend, Enid. Girls and young women were always coming to number 16. Nurse Pomfret lived here with all her cats – nasty, smelly things they were. No one along here liked the woman, or her blessed animals. But no one dared to say any more than that.

  Having got as far as King Street, Annie sat on the wall outside the picture-house. Her knees were shaky. She thought of making her way back to Montague Street but her courage was shattered for today. ‘Tomorrow,’ she muttered. ‘I’ll go tomorrow.’ Determined though she was, the fear had still not gone away.

  With Lenny gone, and her father off to his bed, for the milk-round still had to be do nearly in the morning and Tom wasn’t getting any younger … Judy made herself and her mother a mug of cocoa. For a time, she quietly watched as Beth took a sip of her drink before carrying on with her knitting, then another sip and another row of stitches, and another sip then another row, and Judy could hold it in no longer. ‘Mam!’

  Looking up, Beth placed her knitting on the chair arm. ‘Sorry, sweetheart, I was concentrating. I’ve got to the sleeves and they’re always the trickiest part. You know how your dad likes his jumpers to be loose about the arms.’ She looked over at the girl. Her daughter seemed unusually agitated. ‘Are you all right?’ she enquired. ‘You seem a bit on edge.’ She smiled reassuringly. ‘Oh, you don’t need to worry. You’ll see, everything will go exactly as planned on Saturday.’‘I wasn’t really thinking about that, Mam.’

  ‘No? What were you thinking about then?’

  ‘I was thinking about Annie.’

  ‘What about her?’

  The girl took a moment to consider her words. ‘I think she’s in some kind of trouble,’ she said eventually.

  Beth grew anxious. ‘What kind of trouble?’

  Judy shrugged. ‘I’m not really sure, only these past few weeks, she’s been like a cat on hot bricks. She hardly ever laughs any more, and when you talk to her, she seems miles away. And tonight she came round to Lenny’s flat and she was crying, and when we asked her what was wrong, she said it was nothing, but I know she’s lying. And I’m really worried about her.’

  ‘Hey.’ Beth came and sat on the sofa beside her. ‘You’re her best friend, sweetheart. If Annie ever had a problem, she all us came to you. If there was anything wrong now, she’d tell you, I know she would.’

  The girl shook her head. ‘There have been a few times lately, when she’s started to tell me something, and then she clams up.’ She looked to her mother for an answer. ‘Has Mrs Needham said anything to you? Is there any trouble at home that you know of?’

  Beth gave it some thought. ‘No, not that I can think of.’ She pursed her lips in that peculiar fashion she had when concentrating. ‘I reckon I can tell you what Annie’s problem is,’ she went on sagely. ‘It’s the wedding. She’s afraid she might let you down somehow. She’s probably convincing herself that something’s bound to go wrong and that it will be her fault.’ She tutted. ‘You know how she is – all us looking to blame her self for everything.’

  Judy saw the sense in what her mother was saying. ‘Oh Mam, do you really think that’s all it is?’

  ‘I do, yes.’

  ‘But she’s got nothing to worry about, and besides, if anything was to go wrong, that doesn’t make it Annie’s fault.’ A shiver of fear went through her. ‘Nothing will go wrong, will it?’

  ‘ ’Course it won’t, lass! Now drink your cocoa afore it gets cold.’

  All the same, and in spite of her mother’s reassurances, come the early hours, Judy was sitting on the edge of her bed, wide awake. Maybe her mam had hit the nail on the head, she thought with a yawn, then slithered between the sheets and pulled the blanket over her head. Maybe Annie really was nervous about the wedding. She closed her eyes, thinking sleepily, Because the closer it get
s, the more nervous I’m getting, too.

  When warm and wonderful memories of Davie came to mind, she made herself think of Lenny, a good man, soon to be her husband. Her heart should be singing for joy, she knew. Instead, she was anxious and worried, and she couldn’t help feeling that something was in the air, something unexpected.Something completely out of her control.

  It was two in the morning in the Need ham household.

  Annie had been sleeping soundly when she was awakened by the touch of a hand against her face.‘Wakeup, darling. Ssh … come on, my beauty, wakeup.’ The voice was rasping, but soft, and close to her ear.

  Before Annie could cry out, his hand was over her mouth. ‘Now, now … don’t start carrying on. Just relax and we’ll be finished in no time at all.’ His hands were all over her. ‘You know you like it. Yes, you love it, don’t you, you dirty little bitch!’ Hegavea low, wicked laugh.

  ‘GET OFF ME!’ Terrified, and amazed at her own strength, Annie lashed out, knocking him off-balance. The spell that had kept her quiet for so many years, enduring the abuse in terrified silence, had finally broken. ‘I’m pregnant! You bastard … you made me pregnant!’ She screamed. ‘MAM! MAM, HELP ME!’

  Her frantic cry echoed through the house, bringing her parents running into the room. ‘Philip! What are you doing in here? What the devil’s going on?’

  A quiet, private sort of man, Derek Needham usually kept out of things. He loved his family and provided for them, and that was his role in life. But when his sleep was disturbed, that was another matter.

  Evie looked from her daughter to her son. ‘Somebody had better explain, and quickly!’ Her eyes fell on Philip. ‘You’re drunk, again! I wish you’d stop going out to that blasted public house, if you come home in this state. Now go back to your own room. Next door! You’ve frightened the living daylights out of your sister, look!’ She assumed he had wandered into Annie’s room and startled her.