He groaned. She was making this far more difficult than he’d thought she would. “Vince knows my history. He’s worried about a matchup between you and me.”
“Vince needs to mind his own business. And for the record, Georgie thinks I can handle you just fine.”
“I’m not sure Georgie knows all the details of my divorce. And maybe she’s giving me the benefit of the doubt. But the fact is that I broke Sophie’s heart, and I didn’t even realize I was doing it.”
“Because she has the communication skills of a fence post, that’s why. Or maybe she thrives on drama. Who knows? But she sounds whacked.”
“Well, you’re not. You’re incredible, and if I messed you up somehow I’d never forgive myself. That’s the bottom line. So the best thing to do is call a halt before that happens.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I think you actually believe that bullshit.”
“Well you should believe it. For your own good.”
“I see.” Her jaw tightened and her voice had an edge to it that hadn’t been there before. “So you think you know what’s good for me?”
He could tell she was getting mad, but he couldn’t back down now. “In this case, yes.”
Angry spots of color bloomed on her cheeks. “And if I tell you that I’m plenty strong enough to have a hot, juicy affair with you and not end up an emotional wreck, you won’t believe me?”
He sensed a trap. Whichever way he answered was liable to get him in even more trouble. Besides that, her description of a hot, juicy affair was interfering with his ability to think clearly. “I’m not sure.”
She backed out of his arms. “Well, let me give you my bottom line, Mac Foster. I’m tougher than you think.” She poked him in the chest with her finger. “Ironically, you’re the one who helped me see that.” She poked him again. “So if you choose to view me as some fragile flower that you could unknowingly crush under the heel of your boot, that’s your loss, buster!”
With that she whirled away and stomped back around the building. He heard the swell of music as she opened the door, and then it was muted again when she closed it.
Somehow in the process of trying to do the right thing, he’d managed to insult her. She was upset with him, but not for the reasons he’d expected. His revelation was supposed to destroy her illusions about him. Instead she’d taken his comments all wrong, as if he’d implied that she was too weak to deal with the likes of him.
Well, hadn’t he implied that? She’d been clear about her intentions. She wanted him. And how had he responded? He’d rejected her on the grounds that it was for her own good.
He massaged the back of his neck as he considered what to do. In essence, he’d achieved his goal. She wasn’t likely to make advances to him now that she considered him a patronizing jerk who didn’t respect her as an adult capable of making her own decisions.
So if he really believed he was bad for her, and deep down he still felt that way, then he should do nothing. He’d taken care of the problem. The riding lessons wouldn’t be much fun anymore, but she’d show up because she needed his expertise.
Maybe being her instructor had made him think he had the right to make other decisions for her, too. If so, shame on him. He’d never appreciated people telling him what he should and shouldn’t do. Anastasia was no different.
He considered going back in there so he could at least apologize, but that didn’t seem like a good idea, either. Too crowded and too noisy to make a decent job of it. As he stood there debating, he heard the music swell up again as if somebody was coming out. Maybe it was her.
His heart pumping, he hurried around to the front of the building. He didn’t know what he’d say, but somehow he’d make her understand that he was sorry.
Instead of Anastasia, Vince came out carrying Mac’s hat. “I thought you might still be hanging around stewing in your juice.”
“Did she send you out here with my hat so I wouldn’t have a reason to come back in?”
“No, she did not. I brought it out here to eliminate the possibility she’d turn it into a chip-and-dip bowl.” He handed over the hat.
“Thanks. It’s my good hat.”
“I know that. But more significantly, she knows that, which was why it was in jeopardy.”
“What’s she doing now? Besides threatening my hat, I mean.”
“Dancing with whoever’s available, mostly Travis.”
Jealousy churned in his gut.
“I can also report that she’s not happy with either of us.”
“I screwed it up.” He put on the hat and tugged the brim down. He didn’t feel like making eye contact at the moment. “I made it sound like she doesn’t know what’s good for her.”
“Oh, boy.”
“Yeah, I know. Not smooth. But she was coming on strong and so I decided to tell her about the divorce and the reason for it. I thought that would scare her off.”
“When she took me over in a corner for my private tongue-lashing, she mentioned that you thought the divorce was your fault when it clearly was not. For the record, I agree with her on that point.”
“The fact remains that the marriage was a disaster. I didn’t know what I was doing then, and I’m not convinced I have a clue now. She doesn’t need to get mixed up with me. You told me she believes in the fantasy, but I don’t anymore.”
“Oh, yeah, she said you mentioned my comment on that subject. I was guilty of making some assumptions, but she’s set me straight. I’m no longer allowed to say such things about her.”
“Sorry. I didn’t intend to get you in trouble, too.”
“That’s okay. No permanent damage done.” Vince took a deep breath and let it out. “Look, are you positive that Anastasia is the person you’re worried about?”
“Of course she is. Who else?”
“You.”
“What?”
“I know you don’t want to talk about Sophie, and I don’t blame you. It’s a depressing subject. And you probably don’t want to admit this, either, but she hurt you when she walked out.”
His chest tightened. “It wasn’t pleasant, but like I told Anastasia, I never think about her. It’s not as if I still love her or anything.”
“I believe you. It’s hard to keep loving somebody who doesn’t know how to love you back. She was damaged, Mac.”
“Okay! So maybe that’s true. But I was stupid enough not to see that. Or blinded by lust. When I’m attracted to somebody sexually, that sometimes takes over and I miss other parts of her personality. That’s a failing.”
“That’s testosterone. We’ve all been there. You’re not the first guy to convince himself that a hot time in the sack equals true love.”
“I know, but I don’t want to make that mistake with Anastasia and she really gets me—” He stopped abruptly. “I probably shouldn’t talk like this. You’re about to be related to her.”
“Hey, I’m well aware of your obsession. We almost ended up getting soaked today because you were daydreaming about her. But you think having sex with her is going to mess her up emotionally, right?
“Right.”
“But what if she’s not worried? What if she isn’t going to let you mess her up? Because that’s what she told me.”
“She’d be foolish to take a chance that it might happen. It’s not worth the risk.”
“How about you? Are you willing to take a risk?”
His chest tightened another notch. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I think you do. She’s getting to you.”
He met Vince’s gaze. “Not to the point where it’s a problem.”
“So says you. I’m highly qualified to recognize the signs because I just went through this. I watched you dancing with her. She’s getting to you, and you’re scared to death that she’ll walk away.”
&nb
sp; “Of course she will! She’s going places.” He wished breathing hadn’t become so damn difficult. “She has a bright future. Someday we’ll all be able to say we knew her when.”
“That’s not what I mean and you know it. But I won’t belabor the point. Are you coming back inside?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Probably not. Give her a chance to cool down before you start groveling.”
“Groveling? I plan to apologize, but I don’t think I need to—”
“If you’d seen the gleam in her eye when she picked up your hat and asked for a bowl of salsa, you might rethink your position on that.”
“She’s really mad at me, isn’t she?”
“She is, but you could take that as a good sign. My guess is she’s upset because she’s still into you. Fortunately, she’ll be at Ed’s in the morning because she’s motivated to get good enough for the trail ride. You’ll have the perfect opportunity to grovel.”
“I’ll have to think about that.”
“I’m just saying that if you play your cards right, this could work out for you, after all.”
“Are you telling me I should have an affair with your future sister-in-law? Is that what I’m hearing?”
“Absolutely not. I would never suggest such a thing. But I’ll leave you with this question. Are you a man or a mouse?”
CHAPTER 16
Anastasia went to bed mad and woke up mad. At least she told herself that was the situation. Being mad allowed her to skip the cute mug and the extra coffee. She was through making gestures of friendship or any other type of gesture toward Macario Foster.
Anger accelerated her routine so much that she had time to eat her P B and J and drink her coffee before she walked over to the stable. She started to put her hair in a ponytail and then remembered she couldn’t do that because she had a hat. Quickly braiding it the way she used to when she was nine, she crammed the borrowed hat on her head and left the house.
The pigtails appealed to her quirky sense of humor. He’d wanted to treat her like a child, so she’d play the part and look like one. No way was she going to wear her hair down the way he liked it. She brought her phone and earbuds, though, because although he was a jerk, he had good ideas.
He had some other good things about him, too. She grudgingly admitted that as she walked into the barn and watched him loading hay into the feeders. For some reason he was alone this morning. Maybe Ed had other stuff to do and so Mac was helping out. He was that sort of person.
Once again they were alone in the barn. She wasn’t going to turn that into a romantic opportunity after last night’s conversation. Even so, there was something about a man in a well-worn Stetson and a denim jacket earnestly doing his job.
Mac was one of the good guys, which made it hard to stay mad at him. He thought he was doing the right thing, even though he was taking blame where he shouldn’t and treating her as if she didn’t know her own mind. Also—this was superficial but she noticed—his jeans fit him like a glove, a fact she’d recorded in more than one sketch.
She’d been awake enough this morning to leave her messenger bag at home. Hauling it over here was a silly habit when she never took time to sketch anything. But if she had it now, she’d want to draw Mac the way he looked as he walked down the aisle toward her.
He moved with such grace. There were times she’d wished for a video camera to record that ease of movement, but she wasn’t a videographer and never intended to be. Instead she’d freeze that loose stride in a sketch, suggesting it with the subtle tightening of the fabric encasing one thigh while the other remained loose. It would be tricky, but worth the effort.
Yesterday he’d smiled at her. Today he did not. He was probably remembering their last discussion. She’d expected to spend the night dreaming about their heated interchange, but after dancing until eleven, she’d conked out and couldn’t remember a single dream.
“You’re early.”
“Am I?” She could be. Come to think of it, she hadn’t paid much attention to the clock as she’d gathered up the phone and earbuds before leaving the house.
“Only by a few minutes. I’m glad you’re here, though. I have something to say.” His dark gaze was resolute.
“Did you practice it? You look as if you practiced it.”
The corners of his mouth twitched as if he wanted to laugh but wouldn’t let himself. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I did.”
“Then by all means, let’s hear it.” She folded her arms and waited.
“Why the pigtails?”
“Is that part of your speech?”
“No, but I’ve never seen you in pigtails. I just wondered.”
“They’re practical and they make a statement. Double duty.”
He sighed. “Yeah, I figured it was something like that. And I get it. I was treating you like a kid last night.”
“Well, not all the time.” Apparently she had a small urge to flirt, despite everything.
His determined expression changed subtly. His eyes became a shade darker as if he’d just recalled the adults-only part of their evening together. Glancing away, he cleared his throat. “In any case, my attitude left a lot to be desired.”
“Boy, howdy, did it ever.” She couldn’t help grinning. “I can’t speak for you, but I desired so much more on so many levels.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Horizontal, vertical, perpendic—”
“I can see you’re fully awake.”
“I’m sorry. Am I ruining your speech?”
“Pretty much. Maybe I should just say I’m sorry I treated you like a child and leave it at that.”
“No, no! I like the idea that you practiced a speech to give me when I showed up at this ungodly hour. Please go on.”
“By the way, why are you early? And where’s your thermos and Spider-Man lunchbox?”
“I ate before I came over here.”
“I’ll be damned. You’re adjusting.”
“I seem to be. Now please give me the speech you practiced. I really want to hear it.”
He eyed her as if he’d prefer to forget the whole thing.
“Please.”
“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “My response to you last night implied that I don’t think you’re capable of making your own decisions, running your own life, and accepting the consequences of your actions.”
“You did imply that.”
“But it’s actually the opposite of what I think about you.”
“It is?” That startled her. She’d expected an excuse based on the same premise—something along the lines of how he was older, he’d been around more, and he knew better.
“I think you’re extremely capable.”
“Except on the back of a horse.”
He waved that away. “You’ll have that down in no time.” He took a step closer. “Vince said a few things last night that got me to thinking. And I realized that you’re not only capable, Anastasia. You’re brave as a lion.”
Her throat tightened. “Thank you.”
“The coward is me.”
Too stunned to speak, she just looked at him. She tried to remember if any man had ever admitted such a thing to her. Nope. That put Mac in a whole new category.
“You’re beautiful and talented, and deep in my heart I have to ask why you’d be interested in an ordinary guy like me.”
She had so many answers for that. “Because—”
“That’s okay. I wasn’t asking you to stroke my ego.”
“But—”
“Seriously, I don’t want you to answer the question. I’m just explaining why I’ve been such an asshole about everything. Sophie was . . . She had a great body and I was into great bodies at that stage in my life.” He hesitated. “I guess I still am, come t
o think of it.”
She held back a smile. He was being adorably serious and she didn’t want him to think she found that amusing.
“Anyway, subconsciously I probably knew that Sophie and I had nothing in common besides sex, and the relationship was doomed from the get-go.”
Her stomach suddenly felt hollow. “Do you think that’s all we have in common?”
“No. At least I hope not. But . . . the chemistry’s strong.”
“Yes. I still think there’s more than just sex there, though. We can talk, for one thing.”
He looked into her eyes. “Or we used to. It’s not as easy now. And more is at stake. I’m working for your sister. My best friend is about to become your brother-in-law. If we become lovers and it doesn’t work out, then it’ll be awkward for everybody.”
She took a shaky breath. “I know all that. But it’s not the main issue, is it?”
“No, not really. They’ll do what they have to do. If I become a liability, they’ll fire me. Vince won’t want to, but his loyalty belongs to Georgie and Wild Horse Canyon Adventures, as it should. I’m expendable.”
“I disagree. You’ve become a lynchpin of the operation. I’m just the little sister who draws things, and I could do that anywhere. If push comes to shove, you should stay and I should leave.”
“No. You love it here.”
“So do you. You have a house. I don’t. In some ways, you’re more rooted here than I am.”
He smiled and shook his head. “Are you hearing this conversation? We haven’t even decided whether to have an affair and we’re already dividing up the assets. Doesn’t that tell you that it’s too risky?”
“It tells me that we’re two responsible people who know that things don’t happen in a vacuum.” She searched his expression. “But we haven’t reached the bottom of this barrel of issues. I think I know what’s down there, though. Or rather, who.”
“Yeah, so do I.” He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced away.
She didn’t blame him for wanting to abandon the subject. He’d put a lot of energy into convincing himself that he’d solved the problem created by Sophie. He’d sworn off marriage by declaring he wasn’t good at it. That way he’d never again have to risk being emotionally vulnerable to a woman.
Wild About the Wrangler Page 17