So he’d made do with shallow affairs that he probably ended rather than allowing another woman to dump him. But that wouldn’t work with her. Their affair wouldn’t be shallow, and if he ended it, he’d risk incurring the wrath of Georgie and Vince. Travis, too, come to think of it.
She presented a dilemma that he didn’t know how to handle. Of the two of them, she was likely more resilient than he was. She couldn’t imagine being the one to walk away if they became involved, but was she ready to promise she wouldn’t? Not really. Not yet, anyway.
Maybe instead of him toying with her heart, she’d be toying with his. That put a new spin on things. What right did she have to insist he get involved with her, knowing what he was risking? No right at all.
He met her gaze and tension radiated from him. “Anastasia, I—”
“You know what? We should probably give the subject a rest.”
Relief flooded his expression. “Thank you.”
“I brought my phone and my earbuds. What do you say we test out your theory about music helping me ride a trot?”
“Good plan.”
“I’ll get the lead rope and bring ol’ Jasper out to the hitching post.”
“Are you okay with doing that by yourself? I need to check on Skeeter. The horses got new shoes yesterday and he seems to be favoring his right front hoof.”
“I can do it.” Her stomach did one little flip, but that was so much better than the day before, when it had been performing an entire gymnastics routine at the thought of taking Jasper out of his stall by herself.
When she approached his stall with the lead rope, he made a funny little neighing sound.
“I heard that!” Mac called out from the far end of the barn. “He’s saying good morning to you.”
She was charmed. “Good morning to you, too, Jasper. Did you have a good night’s sleep?” She couldn’t resist a question just to get him to nod. Unfastening the stall door, she lowered her voice. “Am I in over my head with Mac?”
Jasper nodded again.
“Thought so.” She stepped into the stall and clipped the lead rope to the gelding’s halter. “I’m going to concentrate on learning to ride you this morning and stop thinking about that gorgeous cowboy. If I’m not careful, I’m liable to create a real mess.”
Jasper gazed at her with his large brown eyes.
“I’ll bet you’ve seen your share of crazy humans doing dumb things.” She walked him out of the stall. “I don’t need to be adding to the confusion around here. We have a wedding coming up and a film crew will be here the weekend after that. I’m going to cool my jets.”
Jasper walked quietly along. Once he blew air through his nose, but she was used to that now. “You’re an excellent listener, Jasper. That’s a good quality in a friend, and that’s what I think we are now, friends.”
She considered herself Mac’s friend, too, and a friend wouldn’t put an unnecessary burden on him or place him in a difficult position. He might be incredible to look at and even better to kiss, but if she caused him anxiety, that was bad.
With no clouds in the sky this morning, the sunrise was a different kind of beautiful, a deep glow of peach that gradually paled until it was the color of a strawberry shake. She and Jasper stood for a moment to admire it before she led him over to the hitching post and looped the lead rope around it. “I’ll be right back.” She left him there and went to get the plastic tote full of grooming supplies.
Mac was already in the tack room reaching for it. He glanced over his shoulder. “It wasn’t the new shoes bothering Skeeter.” Grabbing the tote from a shelf, he turned around. “He’d picked up a stone. I got it out and now he’s . . .” He stood there looking at her as a smile tugged at his mouth.
“What?”
“Those pigtails. They make you look cuter than a border collie pup.”
“I think you just called me a dog.”
“No, I didn’t. I compared you to a border collie pup, and if you’d ever seen one, you’d know it’s a compliment.”
“I’m going to Google it and find out.” She pulled out her phone and in a few seconds she’d found several pictures of black-and-white puppies with floppy ears. “Awww.”
“Told you.” He came around behind her and peered over her shoulder. “They’re great dogs. Really smart and easily bored so you have to give them plenty to do, and . . . damn, you smell good.”
She stood very still, her heart beating fast. His breath tickled the back of her neck. All she had to do was turn around and they’d be in each other’s arms. “See, this is the problem.”
“I know.” He wasn’t moving, either. “I thought I could just look at pictures on your phone, no big deal.”
“Here’s an idea. Carry the tote outside. I’ll be along in a minute.”
“All right.” He left.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Why did this have to be so complicated? She could partially solve the issue if she discontinued her riding lessons.
But thinking of that option filled her with sadness. She was making rapid progress and he was a great instructor who intuitively seemed to know how to work with her. In another few days she’d be ready to head out to see the Ghost. After all this, she wanted Mac to be with her when that happened.
He’d want to be there, too. He and Georgie might be the only two people who understood why seeing the Ghost was so important to her. Then she had another thought.
Walking back to the hitching post, she found Mac briskly rubbing Jasper with the grooming mitt. “I thought that was my job.”
He didn’t look at her. “You can take over whenever you’re ready. I thought we should get this program started.”
“We definitely should, but I have to ask this. When I first mentioned wanting you to give me riding lessons, did you have any idea what might happen between you and me as a result?”
“Sure I did.” He kept working, his back muscles flexing rhythmically under his denim jacket. “Didn’t you?”
“Not consciously. Then later, when I realized the attraction might cause a problem, I figured I’d be so scared all the time, not to mention sleepy, that it wouldn’t matter.”
“So you’re saying you miscalculated.” He rounded the back of the horse and started on the other side, neatly putting the horse between them.
“Apparently. But you anticipated this all along. Why didn’t you just tell me no?”
“I couldn’t do that.” He didn’t pause or look at her, even though now he was facing in her direction.
“Why not? Why put yourself through it?”
“Because I believe in your art, and if seeing the Ghost is important to your creativity, then I’ll do my damnedest to make that happen.”
So he’d sacrificed for her. Her heart ached. “Did you ever consider having someone else teach me?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Finally he stopped working, tilted back his hat and leaned his forearms on Jasper’s back. His gaze was steady as it met hers. “You confided in me, Anastasia. You revealed a fear that nobody else knew about except Georgie, and you didn’t want her to teach you. You chose me and that was an honor I didn’t take lightly. I still don’t. I told myself I could handle the situation. I’m not doing that very well, and I apologize.”
She cleared the lump from her throat. “You’re doing great. Fabulously. I feel like a selfish little bitch because I’ve flirted with you and taunted you and made everything worse for you. I’m the one who should apologize. And I do. I’m sorry, Mac.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. You didn’t know what was going on with me. You saw what everybody else sees, a happy-go-lucky guy.”
“No, I saw a kind man with a lot more depth than people give him credit for. I saw a trustworthy man with the ability to put himself in someone else’s shoes. My shoes
.”
“Yeah, until last night.”
“You were scared. But when you had a chance to think about it, what did you do? You put yourself in my shoes and practiced a speech apologizing for your attitude. It was a good speech.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“It was! And now I discover you took on these lessons knowing they could cause problems for you. But you did it because you believe in my art and you want to protect my secret. That’s nobility of spirit. And you wonder what I see in you?”
He regarded her in silence for several long moments. When he finally spoke, his voice was husky. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I mean every word.”
“I know you do. I hope I can live up to your high opinion of me. And speaking of that, I’ll turn the grooming over to you while I go fetch the tack.” He rounded the back of the horse and tossed the grooming mitt in her direction. “Catch.”
She missed and had to pick it up off the ground. “See? Klutz.”
He smiled. “Good thing you brought your earbuds, Twinkle Toes.” Then he turned and walked into the barn.
She was guilty of watching him leave instead of tending to her job of brushing Jasper. He’d called her Twinkle Toes, just like he had after their two-step performance last night. She wondered if they’d ever dance that way again, if they’d even dare. Maybe not, and that made her sad.
CHAPTER 17
Mac leaned against the rail as Anastasia walked Jasper around the perimeter. She looked pretty confident up there this morning, although the next few minutes would tell the tale. She had her earbuds in and they’d gone through her music selection until he’d found a rhythm that seemed to go with a trot.
Right now she was listening to the one before it, which happened to be a slower tune not unlike the one the band had played during their slow dance last night. He pushed that memory away. It would only distract him, and he needed to focus in case the music didn’t work the way he hoped.
If it did, though, that could be the key to some really fast progress. And the quicker she progressed, the sooner she wouldn’t need him anymore. Without the daily riding lessons, they wouldn’t have to see that much of each other. When they did, like at Sadie’s, they’d be in a crowd.
He’d pull back, and if he did, so would she. That would be for the best. Although the truth hurt like hell, he couldn’t duck it any longer. He was afraid to be with her because there was an excellent chance she’d leave him.
She’d said it herself—he was more rooted here than she was. With the talent she had, she could end up anywhere in the world. Any day now, her career could expand until it was too big to fit in this tiny town, and he’d never expect her to stay because of him.
He appreciated what she’d said about him a little while ago. He’d been blown away by it, actually. But no matter how much she admired him, and ironically she still did, she’d follow wherever her art led her. And she should do that. She had a gift and he wanted her to share it with as many people as possible.
So he’d cherish moments like this as he watched her ride around and around, listening to a waltz through her earbuds, her cute little pigtails bobbing with the motion of the horse. Aha. Her body language told him the waltz was coming to an end.
They’d agreed that when the faster music started, she’d nudge Jasper and attempt the trot. He held his breath and mentally crossed his fingers. She wanted success and he wanted it for her.
She took hold of the saddle horn and squeezed with her legs. Jasper changed his gait. She bounced a couple of times but then she seemed to look inward, as if concentrating on the music. Gradually she began moving with the trot instead of against it.
It was working. Yesterday she’d flopped around like a ragdoll. Now she was tuned in, both to the music and Jasper. When she let go of the horn and rode holding only the reins, he felt like cheering, but he stayed completely still. He didn’t want anything he did to change the dynamic.
She wasn’t perfect by a long shot. Her back could be straighter and her heels weren’t down where they should be. She could afford to loosen up on the reins a little. But she was doing it and hardly bouncing at all. He grinned with pride. Way to go, Twinkle Toes.
The music was a crutch, but he could wean her off of it. Once she had muscle memory of how to ride a trot, she wouldn’t need the music. Or if she did need it, she could play it in her head after she linked the tune to the gait.
The song must have ended, because she pulled back on the reins and brought Jasper to a halt. Then she took out the earbuds and rode toward him with a megawatt smile that made his chest hurt. God, she was beautiful.
“Congratulations.” He couldn’t stop smiling, either. He was so happy for her. “This is a huge breakthrough.”
“I know.” Her voice quavered with excitement. “I can’t believe how the music changed everything. I imagined I was dancing with Jasper and he was leading, so all I had to do was follow his lead.”
Her description of the process charmed him. “Is he a good dancer?”
“Not as good as you.”
He had to treat her comment as a joke or things would get mushy. “I should hope not. After all, he has two left feet.”
“True.” She flashed him another brilliant smile. “Mac, thank you. If you hadn’t come up with this after our dance last night, I can’t imagine how long it would have taken me to learn to ride a trot.”
“I’m glad it worked. And now that it has, here’s my plan. You can practice some more in the corral today. When you get here tomorrow morning, I’ll have both Cinder and Jasper saddled and ready to go so we can ride partway into the canyon.” Today he’d go out with loppers and trim a few of those overhanging branches he’d noticed yesterday.
“Only partway?”
“I don’t want to push you.”
She hesitated. “Well, I was planning to tell you this later, assuming everything went well with the lessons, but I should probably tell you now.”
“Probably.” He couldn’t imagine what new thing she’d spring on him, but he shouldn’t be surprised by anything when it came to Anastasia.
“Three weeks ago, as I was debating whether I’d ask you to give me lessons, I looked online for strengthening exercises for horseback riders. I thought it would help if I came into it with at least some physical preparation. I’ve been doing those exercises and I might be more prepared than you think.”
“That’s great. Terrific. Excellent foresight on your part.” Her ability to ride a trot today made even more sense, now. Her thigh and calf muscles were somewhat conditioned.
“Does that mean we could ride all the way into the canyon tomorrow morning?”
“Let’s see how it goes. I really don’t want to push it.”
“The next morning?”
“Georgie and Vince will be there with the trail riders.”
“Oh, that’s right. I don’t know why I thought we had the weekend and the canyon to ourselves. Of course they’ll be out there, and I don’t want to show up in the middle of their deal.”
“There are other trails. You won’t get to see the Ghost, but you can test your skills.”
“Monday morning, then?”
“Let me clear it with Georgie and make sure she doesn’t need me for anything that morning. If she doesn’t, and you’re not stove-up from the next three days of trail riding, then, yes, we probably could make the full circuit on Monday.”
“Georgie will be fine with it. She’s the one with the wedding I need to be ready for.”
“Good point. I’ll check with Georgie to make sure, but I guess you can plan on Monday for your first trip to look for the Ghost.”
“I’m taking my sketchbook.”
“I figured you would.”
“I’m going to see him on Monday. I feel it in my bones.”
With
the kind of energy she projected, he didn’t doubt it, but he wasn’t going to make promises. “Let’s hope you do. But before then we have more work to do. Are you ready to turn on your music and show me you can do that a second time?”
She laughed. “Yeah, baby.”
How he longed to haul her down off that horse and kiss her. “A few things. Try to keep your back in line with your hips and watch your heels. They should be down.”
Her expression turned serious as she nodded. “I’ll remember that. I know I still have a lot to learn.” And off she went.
He was impressed by how earnestly she attempted to follow his directions. She had a lot to think about at this stage, and he could see whenever she remembered his instructions. Her heels would suddenly go down and her back would straighten. Then she’d forget.
After she finished the song, he sent her out again. And again. Now that he knew she’d been doing exercises for three weeks he was more optimistic than ever about this project. Obviously her request last Sunday hadn’t been a spur-of-the-moment thing if she’d started preliminary exercises long before asking him. He wondered what she would have done if he’d refused. As determined as she was, she would have found a way.
He had to assume her next candidate would have been Travis. The guy was one of his two best friends, and yet the idea of Travis teaching her to ride made him crazy. Travis might even do a halfway decent job, but Mac shuddered at the thought of Travis standing here instead of him.
When she’d asked if he’d considered turning her over to another riding instructor, he’d made it all about the confidentiality aspect. That was important, but it wasn’t the reason. He hadn’t wanted to let anyone else, especially not any other guy, handle this. She’d come to him, and he would do it. End of story.
When he was thinking logically, he knew that was stupid. He’d already established that she belonged to the whole world and he had no claim whatsoever. But this riding thing was his area of expertise and he didn’t trust anyone else to do it right.
Wild About the Wrangler Page 18