Finding Hope

by K Broas

Stephanie leaned it and added, “We really have everything we need. And what we don’t have, God provides. You just got to have faith.”

  Hope thought about Stephanie’s words and liked the way they sounded. Such a simple notion. Just have faith, and whatever you need will be provided.

  “So how long are you staying Hope?” Angela asked.

  “I’m thinking I’ll catch the next train out if I can. I’d like to get moving before winter sets in ya know,” Hope replied optimistically. “What is it now? November 4th?”

  Grace looked at Hope surprised by her answer and said, “Dear, it’s the fifteenth. Winters just around the corner, and when it comes, you’ll know it. Plus, the train only comes monthly, and it will be three weeks before it comes back this way.”

  Hope was devastated by the news. She had no money and nowhere to stay. “Three weeks, why so long?” Hope asked revealing her predicament. “I can’t wait that long.”

  Angela read Hope’s face and continued, “The next town is almost fifty miles from here, and the train stops there first before arriving here.”

  “You can stay with me if you need a place,” Grace offered like a Good Samaritan. “I’m sure my husband, Chris, will be OK with it. You’d like him. He helped me nurse you back to health yesterday.”

  Hope understood the situation and agreed to Grace’s offer. Having no other options, she’d have to stay put and wait for the next train out of Chapel Hill.

  When Hope reached Grace’s little home near the abandoned elementary school, she feared facing Chris. She felt terrible for the way she had treated him when she left the church earlier that day. They walked through the front door and immediately encountered the thin man.

  “Well, hello there stranger. Fancy seeing you here,” Chris replied kindly.

  Hope tried to avoid eye contact with the smiling man.

  “Hey honey, this is Hope. She’ll be staying with us until the train comes back through,” Grace explained.

  Hope once again felt uncomfortable for her rudeness to the man and apologized sincerely, “Hi again. I’m so sorry I ran off earlier. I just felt like a deer in the headlights and needed to get out of there. I hope you understand.”

  Chris chuckled softly and put his hand on Hope’s arm answering, “No worries. I know how it can be. You can stay with us as long as you need. Are you hungry? I was just about to eat.”

  The three sat to eat a small meal of corn, salad, and fish as Hope began to feel comfortable in the company of her new friends.

  “So tell me a bit about Chapel Hill,” Hope said devouring the meager meal. “Grace was telling me many of the families had left town.”

  Chris offered Hope more fish and continued to explain, “Well, just like everywhere else, this town has seen many dark days. When the country fell apart, we stopped getting shipments of diesel. Without fuel, the farming dried up. It’s amazing how much was grown using things this small town no longer had.”

  Hope shoveled the tasty vegetables into her mouth listening intently to the history of the town. “When we could no longer pull crops from the soil, we had nothing to trade with other communities around here,” Grace explained. “We were cut off, unable to feed the people in this town. When the snow came, many families just up and left. A few of us stayed behind knowing things would get better. We had faith that even in the darkest hours, we weren’t alone. Then, the following spring food pushed up from the earth. It wasn’t easy, but we were able to get what we needed from the land.”

  Hope could see the optimism shining from their faces and the faith the both possessed. She wondered how they’d been able to stay strong through the difficulties surrounding them and asked, “And things just got better each day after that?”

  “No, not at all. We’ve always struggled, but behind every challenge is a greater reward,” Chris replied. “You just need to keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason. The answers for why these things happen are not available to us, but there is a plan – a grand design to everything.

  Chris got up and put another log in their fireplace adjusting the glowing flames and logs with his sturdy iron poker.

  “When I was younger, my parents used to take me to church every Sunday. I was actually in many church activities every Wednesday night, too,” Hope said staring at the iron tool as it rolled and maneuvered the burning logs. “My father was a very spiritual man.”

  Grace sat down on her fine leather couch next to Hope and asked, “Do you still believe?”

  Chris turned his attention from the fire and looked at Hope anticipating her remarks. “I don’t know anymore. There’s so much sadness in the world. It seems that everywhere I go, people are disconnected from anything real,” Hope answered feeling unsettled with the talk of the divine. “If there is a great plan, it seems that I’ve been excluded.”

  They continued to talk late into the night about faith, love, and God. They learned so much about one another, building strong, new relationships.

  Over the next several days, Grace and Chris introduced Hope around Chapel Hill. Consistent with her usual ways, Hope was kind and friendly to everyone she met. Even though she always wore a brave face, she was slipping further into depression and was struggling with her past. They accepted her as she joined them in their lives. The faith these people had was inspirational to Hope who easily pulled her conviction from her experiences as a child. The group formed a cooperative community, dependent on one another. Hope spent time with many people doing daily tasks like fishing, laundry, and cooking. After a week or so Hope ended up working with one of the ladies she met when she first came to town. Stephanie asked her to help make costumes for an upcoming Christmas pageant. Hope agreed instantly to the request.

  “I’m happy to help, but remember, on December 8th when the train arrives, I need to be moving on,” Hope said gently.

  Stephanie could see the insistence in Hope’s eyes and replied, “I know dear. Any help you can give would be great. What you’ve done so far is amazing. These costumes look so professional. We’ll be able to reuse these for years to come.”

  Hope smiled, proud of the work she’d accomplished. She had really done an amazing job on the costumes. Using colorful fabric from discarded garments, Hope pieced together high quality outfits with strong sturdy seams and beautiful authentic detailing. The children in the Chapel Hill nativity scene were going to look like they belonged to any of the best Broadway productions.

  “So Hope, when you leave, where’re you heading next?” Stephanie asked while working on the costumes.

  “Not really sure. I just keep heading east,” Hope said quietly.

  Stephanie watched Hope, admiring her skill with the needle and thread to stitch perfectly sewn lines. “Where’d you learn to sew so well? Did your mom teach you?” Stephanie asked.

  Hope didn’t answer. She was caught up in her memories of the struggles she’d been through. Even though it was weeks since she left her crew in St. Louis, she still felt the need for her chemical fix. She felt tired all the time and was beginning to feel saddened by life. Thoughts of Julian hung heavy within her as did the memories of Mika and his death. She was alone in a town she did not know with people she’d just met. She felt dependent on them, which made her feel trapped. She’d give anything to see Gabe and Faith again. Their faces would pull her out the depression that was pulling her down lower every day. She also thought about Joy. She wondered what happened to her and if she’d found happiness. In the craziness of a broken world, Hope needed to find a friend.

  “Hope, are you listening?” Stephanie quietly asked. “Did your mom teach you to sew?”

  Hope resurfaced for a moment before sliding back into her isolation and memories to answer, “No, I learned to sew because I had to.”

  Chapter 13

  A New Life

  “Hey Dad, I think I’m going to stay here a couple more days if that’s alright with you,” Isaac announced as his father intently read some letters from Washington, D
C. “A couple of friends are coming up from Norfolk, and I’d like to spend time with them. I should be back sometime before the weekend.”

  Mr. Howard looked up clearly lost in his thoughts and said, “Your mom’s expecting us back tomorrow. How will you get home?”

  “It’s no big deal. I’ll just catch the last train to Dover on Thursday,” Isaac anxiously replied. “Come on Dad, I’m almost twenty-two. At some point you need to trust me.”

  Mr. Howard smiled at his son wondering where all the time had gone. “I know you’ll be fine, and I trust you. It’s just that I’ve always protected you, so it’s a change for me,” Mr. Howard admitted feeling guilty. “Go ahead. We’ll see you on Thursday night. Do you need any money?”

  “No, I got it covered. My friends are meeting me here, and we already have a room,” Isaac replied.

  The following morning, Mr. Howard and his aides left the train station heading back to Dover, Delaware. Isaac settled into his room, alone in his childhood town. He spent the morning hanging around the hotel finally having lunch around eleven-thirty. After lunch Isaac walked out to the beach to take a long stroll. He walked for miles along the cold ocean watching the misty foam spray from the surf. As he walked in the afternoon sun, he noticed a small fishing skiff a quarter mile off shore. It was being thrown around by the power of the waves. He fell back on the gritty sand to watch the small boat upon the blue sea. Isaac examined the small craft as it was pushed to shore only to struggle to find its way back out.

  A single fisherman was navigating the wooden boat, oars in hand, paddling like mad. He’d drift in with the currents, catching what he could, only to return to the impossible rowing. The tiny boat continued to toil among the angry depths determined to conquer nature despite its insignificant size. After forty-five minutes of battling the Atlantic, the fisherman gave up. Isaac could feel his frustration as he finally saw the tiny craft row to shore hundreds of yards down the coast. Sadness overcame Isaac. He couldn’t reconcile the imagery before him.

  Why had life become so difficult? Isaac thought back to a time when he was a child. He used to sit and watch large fishing vessels work the coast. Equipped with state of the art technology, these crafts owned the sea. Guided by GPS and deep water sonar, they would drag their nets back and forth across the ocean floor. Ships from far away lands could even be found in these waters. With cryptic names on their hulls, they pillaged the sea. Now a solitary fisherman, without the power of technology, could no longer work the sea. Was it exhaustion that finally got the best of him, or was it something more? Maybe it was the insurmountable task he had taken upon himself? The ocean was just too big, and the boat just too small to make any difference in the grand design. Whatever it was, the fisherman appeared empty handed leaving no answers to the questions Isaac pondered.

  As the tired old fisherman pulled his boat upon shore, Isaac walked down the beach toward him. The sand sunk while he walked the line where land meets the sea. His trail of foot prints slowly disappeared, the tide washing over them erasing his presence from the beach. Isaac reached the man who was putting away his gear.

  “Tough day out there,” Isaac said approaching the fisherman.

  “No worse than yesterday,” the gruff man replied. “At least the sky stayed clear. Rather be dry and tired than wet and tired,” the man said looking up at Isaac.

  “How long were you out today?” Isaac asked trying to sound supportive.

  The man put down his heavy spool of braided rope and lit a smoke. “Ah, just a couple hours I guess. Don’t really know. What time is it anyway?” he asked.

  Isaac checked his wristwatch and answered, “It’s almost six. Dinner time I suppose.”

  The man sighed and reached for his oars carefully placing them in a small homemade cart by the side of the road. Isaac could tell he was bothering the man who was simply trying to get his things put away. He felt like leaving the man behind but was fascinated by the fisherman’s futile work.

  “Do you need a hand?” Isaac asked.

  “Yeah, I could use help if you’re offering. I need to pull the boat all the way up here and lock it up tight for the night,” the man explained exhaling a large drag from his hand rolled cigarette. “She’ll be heavy though. You think you’re up for it?”

  Isaac looked at the old fisherman and replied, “I think I can manage. My name is Isaac by the way.”

  “Alright Isaac, let get this done,” the fisherman said walking by Isaac’s out-stretched hand. “Time is money, oh yeah, and I’m Bruce.”

  As they walked back down to the surf, Isaac followed, tired from walking in the heavy sand. Reaching the skiff, Isaac began to hear a furry of snaps and pops coming from the boat. When he finally reached the craft, Isaac was astonished. The small fishing boat was filled with hundreds of large fish.

  “Wow! You had a good day,” Isaac said in amazement. “What do you have here?”

  Bruce’s hard jaw mellowed, and his wrinkled face broke a short flash of pride as he identified his catch. “Well, got some bluefish, a few sea bass, and those are kingfish. Yeah, I did alright,” Bruce explained. “Fishing has turned around this year. The kingfish don’t spook so easy and the bluefish have come back.”

  Isaac caught his breath examining the catch. “I was watching you out there, and it looked like you weren’t getting much. I thought you were having trouble staying out of the surf,” Isaac insisted unable to believe his eyes.

  “No, I was just where I wanted to be. There’s a small reef out there nobody knows about. I was just drifting back and forth scooping ‘em up,” Bruce explained. “They were gone for several years, chased away by the commercial boats. They’re back now, and between you and me, they’re hungry.”

  Isaac reached in and grabbed a large kingfish. Admiring the weight of the heavy fish, he admired the coloration and streamlined body. “This has got to be thirty pounds. How’d you find out about that reef?” Isaac asked as he struggled with the animal.

  “My grandpa and I used to fish here when I was a boy. I’ve lived in this city my whole life. I know these waters. They’re like home,” Bruce explained as he looked across the horizon. “Ten years ago these waters were dead. There was nothing but small little ones. The big ones stayed deep. Now nobody comes here to fish. No one knows about these waters. So here I am.”

  “What do you do with all these fish?” Isaac asked still amazed.

  “Well, I sell ‘em mostly, but they keep my wife and boys fed too,” Bruce said patting the mound of flopping fish.

  “Well I’m impressed sir. Good for you. I had no idea. I thought you were wasting your time out there. Boy was I wrong,” Isaac said feeling thrilled by the turn of events.

  Isaac and Bruce fought the heavy ship for ninety minutes until it was up along the side of the road. Bruce then chained the old wooden boat to a lamp post that once lit the boulevard. Isaac watched Bruce unload his catch into the small cart while singing an old sailors’ tune. It was a scene lifted directly from the pages of a classic American novel. His heart welled with pride watching the man, smelling the fish, and living the Americana moment.

  “I’m so glad I met you Bruce,” said Isaac as the fisherman continued to sing his triumphant song about the sea. “I’d better get going, there’s a girl I’m meeting tonight.”

  Bruce’s voice raised and climaxed as he reached the final chorus of the song. He was smiling wildly with eyes twinkling as he belted out the song’s lyrics. Isaac chuckled to himself softly returning to the beach and his miles of coast line.

  Around dinner time, Isaac stepped into the dining hall of the hotel which was filled with fish, seafood, and roasted meat. Isaac sat alone eating the feast all by himself looking around the room for the girl. He then walked onto the gaming floor to play cards and roll some dice. Still the object of his desire was nowhere in sight. After losing several hands, Isaac realized Joy wasn’t working. He was hoping to see her again and continue their conversation from the night before. They had hit it off
. They spoke for almost three hours, deeply connected. Joy played her little game where she had met him before while Isaac played along. He was spellbound by her cute little smile and playful attitude. She really made an impression on Isaac who had never had a woman focus on him directly. Even though he was certain they had never met before, he was transfixed on her persistence. He couldn’t shake her out of his head – the reason he had lied to his father.

  After two hours of hanging out on the gambling floor, Isaac knew she wasn’t there. He quietly paid his debt and returned to his room. As he reached his floor, Isaac turned the corner leading down the hall to his room. He spotted the girl leaving a room with a tray in hand.

  “Green eyes, I thought you left this morning. How are you?” Joy asked giving Isaac a warm hug. “Last night was fun.”

  Isaac shyly smiled trying to play it cool. “Yeah, I decided to stay over a couple more days. I have a few friends coming up from Norfolk tomorrow, so I thought I’d stay,” Isaac said with his best poker face.

  “Friends from Norfolk huh, are you sure you didn’t stay just to see me again?” Joy asked in her playful way.

  Isaac could feel his fair skin turn red as he began to blush and said, “No really, they’re arriving in the morning.”

  Joy grabbed Isaac’s forearm and continued to play saying, “Isaac you silly boy, don’t you know you can’t lie to me. We were once husband and wife.”

  Embarrassed, Isaac smiled quietly. “Well, I don’t want to keep you up too late, with your friends coming in and all, but if you’re around later, I’m off at ten,” Joy offered feeling giddy. “They have me working room service tonight, and it rarely goes later than ten.”

  Isaac’s chest filled with joy, happy to have more time with the girl he met the night before. He reached out and grabbed her small hand and said, “You know I’ll be waiting.”

  Isaac returned to his room and anxiously waited until it was time to see Joy again. Trying to read a book, his mind kept drifting to Joy. The anticipation was unbearable as he sat alone in his room. Unable to wait a moment longer, Isaac decided to get some room service.