Summer of Love

by Sophie Pembroke

  The words felt good. Honest. Real. They felt like Lily again, even if they hurt.

  Now she just had to find the courage to say them to his face.

  * * * *

  Cora was waiting at the kitchen window when Alex pulled up at the cottage, but it was Rhys who opened the door.

  ‘You’re in trouble, mate,’ he said, pressing a glass of wine into Alex’s hand. ‘You’re just lucky she’s making pasta.’

  ‘In my defence,’ Alex said, ‘I was working. And helping out her friend.’ Although given how scared Lily had looked when she’d left, he wasn’t sure how much of a help he’d really been.

  ‘Yeah? Well, save the story for the dinner table. You’ll need it to get back in her good books.’ Rhys ushered him down the hallway.

  ‘I’m sorry I’m late,’ Alex said, as soon as he stepped foot in the kitchen. ‘I got tied up at work.’

  ‘That excuse is less valid now you’re self-employed, you know,’ Cora replied. ‘I’m just putting the pasta on now. Lucky for you the sauce isn’t ruined.’

  ‘I’m sure it’ll be delicious.’

  Cora’s face grew a little less stern. ‘Go sit at the table.’

  How was it, Alex wondered, that he always felt like a small boy around his younger cousin?

  Ten minutes later, once she’d ensured that everyone had wine, pasta and salad in appropriate quantities, Cora turned her gaze on Alex with a determined look that reminded him of his mother.

  ‘So. What were you working on that made you so late?’

  Alex took a breath. He had to tell her. He’d planned on taking it slower, easing people into the idea, once they saw that he could make a viable living. But things were moving too fast. If he got the space at the Mill, it would be all over town in moments. And Cora deserved to know first.

  ‘I was with Lily,’ he started, but didn’t get the chance to go any further.

  Cora dropped her fork to her bowl and scowled at him. ‘Alex. I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I’m telling you now. Leave my friend alone. She’s engaged to be married, if you hadn’t noticed. And this isn’t the City, with a pool of willing women, just waiting for their chance with you.’

  Alex blinked at her in surprise. ‘Working, Cora. Working with Lily.’

  She brandished a piece of garlic bread at him. ‘Nice try. But I happen to know that Edward does her accounts. She doesn’t need you, and you don’t need to start falling back into bad habits. I know you, Alex. You can barely talk to a woman without flirting. You say you want to settle down here, fine. Then find someone who isn’t engaged to have lunch with.’

  Cora’s lack of faith in him stung, and he could feel his temper rising, hot in his chest. Did she really think he’d moved all the way back here just to keep living his old life? He’d told her he wanted something new, something different for his future. But apparently she hadn’t believed him.

  ‘I wasn’t doing her accounts,’ he said, the words coming out clipped. ‘I was photographing her stock for a new catalogue.’

  ‘You were… what?’ Cora blinked at him, her confusion so obvious that he felt some of his frustration and anger bleeding away.

  Alex sighed. ‘Remember when I said I had some other plans, besides the accounting, now I’m here in Felinfach. This is one of them.’

  ‘Photography?’ Rhys asked. ‘Sounds fun.’

  ‘It is. And I’m good at it.’ At least, he hoped he was. ‘I’ve been taking courses for years, and decided to take the plunge when I moved here. I’ll be doing it alongside the accounting, at least to start with. But Lily got me a meeting with Max, up at the Mill, and I’m putting together a portfolio to present to the collective there. See if they’ll let me in to rent the empty studio space.’

  ‘That’s why you had lunch with Lily yesterday,’ Cora said, eyes wide. ‘I thought…’

  ‘I think we all know what you thought, dear.’ Rhys covered her hand with one of his own.

  ‘Well, can you blame me? Given his reputation?’ She pulled a face. ‘Sorry, Alex.’

  He shrugged, the last of his anger fading. He and Cora had clashed often as children, with her tendency to jump to conclusions and his quick temper. But he liked to think they’d got better at controlling themselves over the years.

  Well, mostly, anyway.

  ‘Like I told you. This is a fresh start for me. I’m looking for something new here.’

  ‘And not with Lily,’ Cora said, obviously still needing the confirmation.

  ‘Not with Lily,’ Alex said. And he was almost sixty per cent sure that was true.

  ‘Good.’ Cora’s body slumped in relief. Had she been that tense all evening? ‘Because that would be the last thing I need. Can you imagine? You and Edward need to get along – you’re both ushers, remember? And Lily’s maid of honour, of course.’

  ‘Of course,’ Alex echoed. ‘I promise to try not to let my life and happiness interfere with your wedding planning.’ He glanced up at Rhys, who gave him a “what can you do? She’s wedding crazy” shrug. But Cora didn’t even seem to hear the sarcasm in his voice.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said, perfectly seriously. ‘Because Lily, well, you know. I love her, but she can be a little flighty. And I know she had that crush on you while we were at school…’

  ‘Crush?’ Alex asked, a warm feeling spreading across his chest at the idea.

  ‘Oh, like you didn’t know.’

  But he hadn’t. Not really. Hadn’t even considered Lily in that light, then. Unlike now. ‘Still. Tell me more about this crush.’ He waggled his eyebrows at Cora over the table, and she laughed, and chucked a piece of garlic bread at his head, and suddenly she felt like his cousin again, rather than a scary reincarnation of his mother.

  Until she said, ‘Eat your pasta,’ in her stern voice again.

  Alex grinned at her. ‘Yes, Mum.’

  * * * *

  Things were still strained the following morning, as Lily slipped her engagement ring back onto her finger and pulled on a suitably wedding-y smart dress. Her decision weighed heavily on her heart, but desperate as she was to make a clean break, even she realized that dumping a fiancé on the morning of somebody else’s wedding wasn’t really the done thing. She’d waited this long, when she’d been uneasy from the start. She owed it to Edward to find a quiet time when they could discuss things like rational adults and decide what happened next.

  For instance, did not wanting to get married mean they had to break up? Lily’s hand slipped on her mascara wand at the thought, and she swore quietly, reaching for a cotton bud to tidy up the mess. The thing was, she’d realized, staring at the ceiling for hours after Edward had returned triumphantly with her ring the night before, it wasn’t just that she couldn’t see herself marrying him now. She couldn’t imagine it ever. And if he’d decided that it was time to get married… Well, he was on his own.

  Lily sank onto the stool in front of her dressing table mirror and set about applying lipstick with a shaking hand. Seven years down the drain. God, what was her mother going to say? And their friends? She couldn’t even predict how Edward was going to take it. Would he be upset to lose her? Would he decide that being with her was more important than being married? Or would he be secretly relieved to be free to find someone more suitable?

  More to the point, would she?

  ‘Are you ready to go?’ The too casual tone of Edward’s voice behind her made Lily hit her lipstick against her teeth. He knew something was wrong, and he was trying his hardest not to say anything that might upset her. At least that meant he had to know that things weren’t right, didn’t he? He had to suspect the conversation that was coming. So now she just needed to find the most grownup and mature way to have it.

  ‘Almost,’ she said, rubbing a finger across her front teeth. Any day now, the right moment was going to present itself. She was sure.

  They made the drive to the registrar’s office in silence, Lily staring at the ring still on her finger and practicing o
pening gambits in her head. But when they arrived, and the bride-to-be threw herself into Lily’s arms in tears, she forgot all about her own problems.

  ‘Mabel! What’s happened?’ And why, for heaven’s sake, at a gathering of her nearest and dearest, was Mabel turning to her fiancé’s cousin’s soon-to-be ex? Mabel was nice enough – too nice for Terry, actually – but they’d never been particularly close.

  Mabel sobbed. ‘You need to get Edward to talk to him! Edward will fix it, I know he will.’ Which explained it. Lily was useful because Mabel thought she might be able to persuade Edward to do something. Fat chance at the moment.

  ‘Tell me what’s happened, and I’ll try to help.’ Lily eased Mabel off her shoulder and supported her upright, but at arm’s length.

  ‘It’s the photographer. Terry says he’s trying to overcharge us, so he’s told him we don’t need any photos after all. But it’s my special day!’

  A surge of anger swelled up in her. ‘I’ll talk to him,’ she promised. ‘Make him see sense.’

  ‘It’s too late!’ Mabel wailed. ‘The photographer’s already left in a huff, and I’m supposed to get married in ten minutes and I wasn’t even allowed to arrive late because that would mean bringing two cars.’

  Lily studied her. ‘Are you sure you want to marry this guy?’

  Mabel looked incredulous. ‘Of course I do! I’ve been waiting for this for four years. And I want photos to remember it by.’

  ‘Okay.’ Lily pulled her mobile out of her clutch bag and scrolled to the first name in her address book. ‘Give me one minute. I’ll see what I can do.’

  * * * *

  Alex was looking through the photos he’d taken at Tiger Lily when his phone rang. It took a long moment to figure out exactly what Lily was asking, and even then…

  ‘A wedding? Lily, I’m not sure… I mean, it’s pretty short notice, and not the sort of thing I want to screw up…’

  ‘Trust me, as long as you do it cheap, the groom won’t care. And the bride just wants some record of her big day. God knows why. If I were marrying Terry, the last thing I’d want is a reminder of my stupidity.’

  He tried to laugh at that, but given the situation it wasn’t easy. ‘Okay,’ he said, accepting what he’d known from the start – there was no way he’d be able to say no to Lily Thomas when she really wanted something. ‘Where do you need me?’

  The road outside the registrar’s office was lined with cars, so Alex parked in the small car park round the corner by the library and ran, camera in hands, towards the building. Lily met him at the gate, the bride beside her, fixing her makeup in a compact mirror.

  ‘Thank God you’re here,’ Lily said. ‘Mabel, this is Alex. He will photograph your wedding for you for next to nothing, because he is an excellent person. But you’ll be paying for prints, because that’s only fair. Now, tell him what you want.’

  And just like that, Alex had his first professional, paying gig.

  Two hours later, as he snapped the last shots of the bride and groom with their nearest and dearest, and a few tables of stale croissants, he realized why wedding photographers charged so much. Just the energy expended in getting people into the right positions was phenomenal. But despite everything – the last minute rush, the difficult groom asking price questions he didn’t have answers to yet, the grandmother of the bride who kept shouting about jam – Alex had loved it. So different from his old job, but with the same pressure to perform. He held people’s memories in his hands, and however the day had actually gone, he knew it was up to him to make the reminders perfect.

  Packing away his camera, he looked up and saw Lily standing at the bar, sipping orange juice, and smiled at her. She’d done him a huge favour, getting him the job, and hopefully the place at the Mill. Now it was time to see if he could do the same for her.

  ‘Any more of that around?’ he asked, leaning against the bar beside her and motioning towards her glass. She handed it over and he took a grateful sip.

  ‘Thirsty work?’

  He nodded. ‘So, where’s the famous Edward?’

  Lily’s smile dropped at the corners. ‘Oh, he’s over with his cousins, I think. Talking golf, or business, or whatever it is they do at these things.’

  ‘Aren’t you going to have to learn about that, if you’re going to be the perfect businessman’s wife?’

  She opened her mouth to answer, but before any words came out, they were interrupted by the arrival of a tall blond man in a grey suit. From his mildly disapproving look, Alex guessed this would be Lily’s fiancé.

  ‘Lily? There’s someone I want you to meet.’ After an initial cursory glance at Alex, taking in his jeans and T-shirt no doubt, Edward had dismissed him completely. Alex held back a smile. That kind of underestimation could be very useful, he’d found.

  Beside him, Lily pulled a face, just briefly, before schooling her features again. Edward, looking back at his friends, probably hadn’t even noticed. But Alex had.

  ‘Now?’ Lily said, a distinct lack of enthusiasm in her voice. ‘I’m just talking with Alex. He did save the day, after all.’

  Alex gave a little wave. Edward’s eyebrows dipped as he looked over at him.

  ‘I hardly think a few photos were quite that lifesaving,’ he said, trying to make it sound like a joke. It didn’t work.

  ‘To Mabel they were,’ Alex said, and got another glare.

  Edward turned his attention more firmly to his fiancée, and Alex watched in fascination as he tried to turn on the charm.

  Taking Lily’s hands in his, Edward spoke in a calm, soothing, and – in Alex’s opinion – bloody patronizing voice. ‘Darling. These people are important to me. Terry’s been working with them on a big project, something I want in on. I won’t bore you with the details. All I need is for you to come and smile prettily at them, ask them about their kids or houses or whatever, and make friends with their wives. Just to show them we’re on the same level they are.’

  Alex wasn’t watching Edward any more. His gaze was firmly on Lily as the colour faded from her face and her eyes widened.

  ‘The same level…’ she echoed faintly. Then a pink flush began to work its way up her neck to her cheeks, and suddenly she looked just like the sixteen-year-old he remembered walking into her house after her escape to Glastonbury, unrepentant but willing to take whatever was coming next.

  ‘That’s what this is about to you, isn’t it? Keeping up bloody appearances.’ She didn’t raise her voice, didn’t shriek or shout, which Alex admired, in principle. But part of him really wanted to see her let go. Still, her quiet intensity seemed to be having an effect on Edward, whose expression shifted from patronizing, to confused, to alarmed as she spoke. ‘You didn’t propose to me because you loved me. If you did, you’d have made it about me, not the expected spectacle. You want to marry me because you think it’s what we’re supposed to do next. But we haven’t even talked about how it would work, about kids or my business or anything. You just assumed we’d do what everyone else does.’

  ‘But… I thought this was what you wanted?’ Edward’s hands were outstretched towards her. He looked so blindsided that Alex almost felt sorry for him. But only almost. He was too busy mentally cheering Lily on.

  Lily shook her head sadly. ‘I think we stopped asking what each other wanted a long time ago. We thought that the fact we loved each other would be enough, but it isn’t. It takes more than that to make a marriage. We got complacent. Comfortable. We made too many assumptions. And we never even noticed how far we were drifting apart.’

  Alex looked away as Edward’s shoulders dropped, his face starting to crumple. He shouldn’t be watching this. It was a private moment between them. But how could he walk away now? And besides, Lily might need him, after.

  ‘I do love you, Lily,’ Edward said. ‘Maybe I don’t always show it…’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Lily said, her voice firm but calm. ‘But it’s not enough. I wasn’t… I wasn’t going to do this here,
but…’ She twisted the golden ring from her finger and placed it in his outstretched hands. ‘I’m sorry, Edward, I can’t marry you.’

  Chapter Six

  Lily staggered back against the bar as she dropped the ring into Edward’s hands. She felt suddenly weightless, suddenly free. Firm hands steadied her when she stumbled, and she looked away from Edward’s shocked face into Alex’s warm, concerned eyes.

  ‘You okay?’ he murmured, glancing between her and her ex-fiancé.

  She should be embarrassed, Lily thought. Humiliated that Alex had seen her in such a personal moment of horrified realization. She’d known the night before that she couldn’t marry Edward, but only today had it come home exactly how many reasons there were not to.

  And only in this moment did she realize that she had no idea what happened next.

  What did she do now? Where did she go? Edward remained stock-still in front of her, staring at the ring in his hand. Should she stay, make sure he was okay? She reached out a hand to touch his arm, but stopped, not sure if she’d help or make things worse.

  Edward looked up, meeting her eyes, and she swallowed as she saw the confusion, hurt and pain there. Then one of the men he’d been talking to earlier called his name, and he transformed before her eyes back into the perfect businessman, guy about town. He slipped the ring into the breast pocket of his suit jacket, gave her a tight smile and said, ‘We’ll talk about this later.’

  From the tone in his voice, Lily suspected he meant, “I’ll talk you round later.” But he wouldn’t, not this time.

  ‘I don’t think there’s much left to say, actually.’ The words came out wobbly, but they felt true.

  Edward turned on his heel and walked away, head high, hands loose at his side, confident and in control as ever.

  ‘I don’t know what to do next,’ Lily said, aware as she spoke that her voice sounded very far away. She hadn’t meant to do this today. She had been waiting for a proper grownup moment when they could discuss things. Not losing her temper in public and throwing her ring back at him. That was what teenage Lily would have done. She wasn’t supposed to be that person any more.