“Yes. As soon as you touched it, the light and dark within you would come together. It keeps you grounded. Soon, you won’t have to separate from yourself to tap into either. At least that’s the plan. But my plans lately aren’t going the way I’d thought they would.” A frown tugged at the corners of his mouth as if he was contemplating something to which I wasn’t privy.
Chewing the apple, I mulled this over in my head.
“I almost killed her.” My indifference didn’t bother me.
“True. But you didn’t. Ethan stopped you.”
The head of a wingless Faithful flew in the air just behind him. I was mesmerized by the grace of its flight. I saw it wasn’t Ethan’s head, turned my attention back to Damien and took another bite.
With each bite, I could taste him. I could feel him filling me up, erasing my hunger, fulfilling my needs.
“Samantha, we don’t have to be here. We can walk a bit. We can get away from all this.” He waved his hand casually. “Distraction.”
“Okay.” I took his hand and allowed him to lead me away from the fighting. Looking over my shoulder, I watched as two Exiled grabbed the arms of a Faithful; a third and fourth stripped her of her wings and pierced her heart with a long, thin sword. The sound of their garbled laughter rang in my ears.
“Are they really dead?”
“No, Samantha. It’s just a dream.”
I dropped the apple core at my feet and left the fray with him.
“Why am I not frightened?”
“Because this is inside you. You aren’t afraid of what’s inside you, not really. You’re more afraid of how others will see you, of who you think you’ll disappoint. Once you make the choice it will all be easier. Once you realize what you have to do, regardless of how others perceive you, you won’t feel so torn.”
His grip on my hand tightened and I wondered whether all of it was really just inside me. Was it something I wanted or something that would come to fruition? Had I suddenly figured out a way to perceive the future?
I bent down to pluck a white daisy growing alone in the field of carnage. “I already made my choice. I stand with the Faithful. I’ve chosen to remain the balance between it all.”
Taking the flower from my hand, he smiled slowly. “Oh, Samantha. If that were entirely true, you and I wouldn’t be having this conversation. They’ve made it sound so easy.” He tucked stray strands of hair behind my ear and lifted my chin so I could look into his eyes. “You’re too conflicted to balance anything this way. I think, and this is just based upon my observations, you have to choose a side completely before you can work towards evening the scales.”
“But I just told you…”
Damien shook his head. “No. I must not be explaining it correctly. I don’t think this is a simple matter of choosing sides, despite what we all may have thought. You must live one way or the other. The light inside of you is constantly at war with the darkness. That is no way to live. Not in a constant state of struggle. There is a plan for you. One to which none of us is privy. Again, all of this is mere conjecture on my part.” The ease with which he spoke calmed everything around me. Even the low buzzing sounded like a melody. A song about losing my religion began to play in my head.
“Why are you helping me? Why are you giving me a choice? I thought you wanted me to join you.”
“I do. Samantha you have no idea how long I have waited for you. You and I could do many wonderful things together. But my hands are tied. You must choose me.”
“You didn’t let Malena choose.”
His eyes burned red for an instant and I knew I was right. “Malena couldn’t choose.”
“So you made the decision for her.”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“You’re no better than Sebastian if you couldn’t afford her the opportunity to think for herself.”
“I never said I was any better than him.” His voice was filled with anger. His face twisted for a second to reveal the demon living inside. Fear crept into my heart. The thought of him as a hunter flitted in and out of my thoughts.
He seemed to know he was losing my acceptance. “Here, eat this.” He reached above to the tree branch and plucked a perfectly ripe apple from the limb. Without hesitation, I took a bite. Calm replaced my fears. Knowledge of ordinary miracles replaced hesitation.
“You are beautiful, Samantha. I can feel the heat between us and I know you can feel it too, in here.” His hand reached out and touched my stomach. A swarm of butterflies raged and I ached with desire. “And here.” His hand moved to my heart and it began to race. Sweat beaded along my brow. “And here.” He brought his lips to mine. He tasted as sweet as the apple I’d just eaten. The kiss deepened and I wanted nothing more than to follow him wherever he wanted me to go.
When he pulled away, breathless, he pointed to a small cleared space. Two doors stood, one black and one white. “It’s all a choice, Samantha. Your choice. Which door will take you where you want most to be?”
Tentatively I stepped to take a closer look. Other than the color, the doors were the same. Instinctively I reached out and touched a silver knob, turning it ever so slightly.
***
My eyes flashed open and I looked around trying to figure out where I was.
Curtains.
Ceiling.
Walls.
I sat up and noticed Ethan sleeping soundly in the chair. I was a mess of sweat and jumpy nerves. My head ached like I’d been thrown, headfirst, into a wall. Throwing the blanket off me, I peeked through the closed curtain. It was still dark outside. I had no clock in my room and wasn’t sure what time it was. I tiptoed out of the room and down the hall. If there was one person who could explain the dream I just had, it was Malena.
I found her sitting on her bed, painting her toes a glittery blue. It reminded me of the ocean, the same color as Ethan’s eyes.
“Hey.” I leaned against her open door.
“What do you want?” She concentrated on her toes.
“What time is it?”
“Two.”
“In the morning?”
“No. The sun just decided to take the day off. That’s what you came here to ask me?”
“No. I wanted to talk.”
“Then talk.” She dipped the brush into the little bottle of polish.
“Why are you so angry with me?”
“I’m not angry. I’d have to care about you to be angry. I don’t care. I’m just, indifferent. And of course it’s not like you tried to kill me or anything.”
I stepped into her room and stood, watching her paint with long, smooth strokes, absently rubbing my arms to calm my nerves.
“I’m sorry.”
“Whatever.” She waved her hand, blowing my apology off.
“I had a dream.”
“So did Martin Luther King, Jr.” She blew on her toes.
“Why do you have to be so sarcastic?”
“I’m fluent.” Jesus. She was looking everywhere but at me.
“Malena stop. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”
She sighed loudly, capped the polish and put it on her nightstand. “Fine. Sit. Not there,” she said as I lowered myself at the foot of her bed. She pointed to the chair. I rolled my eyes at her and sat. I stretched my neck to relieve my building tension.
“Okay. So what’s the problem? I mean other than the fact that you’re fucking crazy.”
“I’m not crazy. Why do you have to be so…” I searched my head for the right word but settled on the childish. “Mean?”
“Because my mommy left and daddy didn’t love me.” She continued to fan her toes with her free hand.
“Can’t you stop being such a bitch for one minute?” This was a bad idea.
“Fine. Please tell me what your problem is.” Her sudden eagerness was obviously faked.
I knew this was gonna go nowhere. “I had a weird dream about Damien. There was fighting and killing and I didn’t seem too bothe
red by it.”
“And you’re bothered because you weren’t bothered?”
“Yes. No. It’s just that, I was walking through a field and everyone was fighting. He took me through the woods. There was a snake and apples…”
“Apples, huh?” She interrupted, looking at me cautiously.
“Yeah. Why?” I knew the apples were important.
“Did you eat them? Scratch that, of course you did. You ate them before, when you were…”
“Shackled to the floor?” My interruption made her pause.
She leaned against her headboard, arms crossed, face giving away nothing. “And of course, I gave you one. To control you. He’s controlling your dreams. Remember when you first met him? He gave you an apple then, too. Remember how angry you were… and then you weren’t?”
I nodded, wanting her to continue.
“Well, he can control you that way. Not as well as he can control others, it seems. But that’s his way.”
“I don’t get it.”
“We talked about this.” I swore her eyes would roll into the back of her head.
“Explain it again.”
“What did Eve eat in the Garden?”
“An apple.”
“Right.”
I picked at my cuticles, wishing my hands were as well manicured as hers. “So the apple?”
“Temptation. Easier to tempt you to do what he wants when you’re docile. I bet he’s trying to figure out why it doesn’t work as well with you. I mean, you’re confused enough to be impressionable.”
“You make me sound like a child.”
“In some ways you are. You may be eighteen years old, but all this is new to you. How else are you going to react? If I were in your shoes, I’d probably be nuts, too.”
She’d given me a lot to think about. I sat, staring out the window, feeling a familiar tingle wash over my skin. I rubbed my arms to ward off the chill.
“I’m not nuts.” I felt like I was nuts, but I didn’t want her to know that.
“Okay, so you’re not nuts. Are we done?”
I looked at her. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Good. I need to clear coat my toes or they’ll chip. And I’m missing my favorite show.” She grabbed the remote from her bedside table and clicked on the television. My cue to leave.
I paused at the door and turned to her. “Thanks. You’re really not so bad.”
“Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it get around.”
I began pulling the door closed when she spoke again, this time more softly. “Just be careful, Sam.”
I smiled tightly, still wary that something was off, and walked downstairs to the kitchen. Christian was leaning against the counter eating some yogurt.
“Hey.” I obviously surprised him because he jumped.
“Hello. Can’t sleep?”
“Nah. Bad dreams.” I opened the fridge, took a bottle of water and leaned against the countertop.
“Wanna talk about it?”
Christian wasn’t very talkative normally. As a matter of fact, I realized he and I had never had a proper on-on-one conversation in the weeks that I’d known him. “No, thanks. What are you doing up?”
“We just got back from patrol. Mara went up to bed.”
Patrol. No one would let me patrol. They were afraid I’d be abducted or killed or something. I really need to get my shit together.
“You know, we are all here, on your side. Even Noah and Cal with all their cynical blabbering, we are all here.”
What a strange thing to say. “I know. Thanks.”
“I don’t know you very well, but what I do know is that you mean well. I know you are having difficulty with all this: the whole balance thing, Lucas’ betrayal, Sebastian… Damien.”
I looked at him when he mentioned the last name. “Thanks. I’ll be okay, I think.”
His eyes met mine. “You mustn’t forget, however, that Sebastian still has the Box of Hope.”
The Box of Hope - the thing that had been my focus had left my thoughts over the past couple of days. He was right. First and foremost, I needed to get the box from Sebastian. All this other stuff was distracting me. And for someone who was supposed to lead the search, I wasn’t much of anything but a figurehead. For a moment, I understood what Damien meant when he mentioned his position in the Exiled ranks. I knew then that the Faithful didn’t need me as much as I’d thought.
“You’re right.” Willing leadership to take over, I continued. “Do we have any more information on its whereabouts?”
“Nothing new, from what I can gather. He’s out there, though, blending in with the human population. Last we heard he was in New York, some fundraiser for a crooked politician. He donated a lot of money to get this guy elected. There were photos of him in the paper.” He dropped his spoon in the sink.
“Of course there were,” I muttered, angry with myself for losing focus. “He’s playing with us.”
“Whatever he’s doing, he’s certainly not hiding, Sam. Not really. And that makes me think he’s about to set whatever plan he has in motion. The others, clans of us from around the world are watching him.”
As the words left his lips, darkness churned in my stomach as we heard a bang on the front porch. Christian and I raced to the front door and threw it open. Noah was standing tense, sword drawn, and face angry. Rage filled his eyes and I filled myself up with it until focus returned to him. He didn’t lower his weapon and I turned my head to find where his sword was pointing. Standing with his back against the house, bloodied and bruised with a smirk on his face, was the intruder.
“Hey Sam.”
I stepped in front of him, my eyes searching his for an answer, any answer. Finding none, I slapped him.
Ethan! My silence reached him faster and louder than anything verbal could have.
He and Malena charged outside, confused but ready to fight. Malena gasped, hand flying to her mouth. Ethan stood confused by what he saw on the porch until I moved away from the intruder. I watched as recognition dawned over him and he dropped his sword.
Silent, Ethan took a tentative step forward, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “What the hell?”
“I ruined my pedicure for this?”
I stared at Malena and questioned her priorities.
Chapter 10
“Hey brother.” I was surprised that sorrow, not sarcasm, was evident in Lucas’ words.
Ethan stood, still as a statue, as color drained from his face.
“I found him just beyond the line of trees. He was watching the house,” Noah reported.
“I wasn’t watching the house, douchebag. I was trying to figure out how to come back.” Lucas’ hatred of Noah dripped from his words.
Noah stepped forward and I put up my hand to stop his advance.
“And why would you want to do that?” Ethan’s voice quivered. My heart constricted, hungry for his pain. But I knew I needed him to feel it this time. He needed to let it rise inside him so he could examine it. In the meantime, my own hatred consumed me.
“I don’t trust him.” Malena was standing at the door, staring at her fingernails, no trace of emotion clouding her words. Words that echoed my thoughts.
“Ah, Malena. Long time no see.”
“I didn’t like you when I first met you two years ago and I don’t like you now.”
“That’s right. You liked Ethan.” His wink punched me in the gut but I defiantly held his stare as my wings opened with a crack. Rage became wrath as memories of my father, and Lucas’ hand in his death, barreled through me.
“Calm down, Sam.” Branna had just come outside and placed her hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.
“I can’t.”
“You can. Ethan, do something.”
I felt a surge of light try to invade the darkness. Strength filled me as shadows pushed back, winning the internal battle. I reached to my back for my sword and realized I didn’t have it with me. A swirl of panic nudged at the back of my
mind. A small part of me knew what was about to happen, and knew I was powerless to stop it.
Eyes narrowed, I lifted my palm. Lucas began to rise, legs dangling a foot from the floor. Wind howled and trees cracked in submission. Fire raged until I was unreachable, a mere spectator. I watched in horror as I beat my wings and Lucas screamed in pain. Over and over until I screamed at myself to stop. Blood flowed from his nose and mouth as I watched him fly through the air only to land in a crumbled heap in the grass.
He put up his hands in resignation. “Please, Samantha. Stop. I’m not here to hurt you.”
“Hurt me? After what you did? After you set up my father to be killed? After you betrayed me, betrayed everyone? You deserve to feel pain, the pain I take from everyone else because of you. Hurt me? Not anymore.” Both arms outstretched, I could only look on as I gathered all the despair inside me and force-fed it to Lucas. His eyes widened and he screamed, grabbing his head in an attempt to rid it of the terrible images I pushed into him.
“Enough, Samantha!” Cal ran towards me and I whipped my head in his direction, sending him flying back onto the porch.
“I’ll decide when it’s enough.”
“No, Sam!” Ethan pleaded with the vengeful part of me and I could do nothing to stop any of it.
I watched as they all began to clutch their ears and fall to the ground. The noise was deafening, but I was unaffected. A hum of evil filled the night while I continued to torture Lucas. Blood oozed from Ethan’s ears. I tried to run to myself, to reconnect, anything to stop it, but I was rooted to my spot. A smile traced the lips of my other self as I/she looked in my direction. The girl standing there was almost unrecognizable. She was pure Exiled. Sebastian’s laugh rang in my ears.
Lucas’ scream echoed over the hum yet I continued the onslaught. Terrified, I watched as I began to close my fist.
Pain began to siphon from me and I was losing strength. Lucas stopped convulsing, fell to the ground in a crumpled heap and passed out. The noise quieted and the others slowly began to stand, each backing away from me with distrust in their eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” My voice floated on deaf ears, they couldn’t hear me when I wasn’t in control.
Almost in unison, their gazes turned toward Lucas and the girl I no longer recognized. Someone was standing out there, hand on mine, whispering words I couldn’t catch from up where I was observing. I saw my head fall to my chest and felt the darkness slip away.
Darkness Betrayed (Torn) Page 6