Christmas Island

by Natalie Normann

‘That’s really wonderful, Jack. So, you’re making money on this adventure of yours?’

  ‘Well, it has cost quite a bit to turn the old building into a restaurant, and I can tell you that Norwegians take regulations seriously. God, we had a nightmare getting all the permits. And the building is listed, so we couldn’t do any changes without applying first. But we got there. Thankfully I had loads of help.’

  ‘You really love it here, don’t you, Jack?’ Holly couldn't help smiling at his delight.

  ‘Yes, I do. I feel at home here.’ Jack chuckled. ‘I never thought I could live away from London, to be honest.’

  Holly finished her tea. ‘It sounds so easy, you know. Just picking up all your roots and planting them in a new place.’

  ‘You know how it was for me, Holly. I never fitted in with Dad’s family like you and Danny. I always felt like an outsider. Here, I’m one of the islanders. It feels good, you know?’

  Holly nodded. ‘I’m glad you feel that way. I really do. I just miss you in London. I mean, since you left, I haven’t had a decent meal. No special lunches or dinners at all. I can’t cook and neither can anyone else I know. Maybe that’s the reason I flipped? Which I didn’t.’

  He laughed again. ‘Probably. I’ll make up for it while you’re here. You’ll love the food, I promise.’

  ‘Thank you, I appreciate that. And no weird Norwegian food, if you please.’

  ‘Would I ever?’ Jack stood and cleaned the table before she managed to get out of the chair.

  ‘You’re such a catch,’ she said, teasing him.

  ‘Take your shower and run back to your beau.’

  ‘My beau? What are you, ninety years old?’ Holly grinned.

  ‘No, but we would very much like to meet him.’

  Holly smiled. ‘I’ll have to prepare him first. He doesn’t even know you lot are back yet.’

  ‘Tell him we’re lovely people and we mean no harm. That would work.’

  ‘I’ll do my best.’

  Jack watched her. ‘Will you come back here later? Or will you stay with the hermit?’

  Holly blushed. ‘I don’t know yet. You don’t mind, do you? After all, you’re not supposed to be here yet.’

  Jack shook his head. ‘No, not at all. Let me know if you’re not coming back, that’s all. Oh, and tomorrow there’s this thing at Sigrid and Olav’s, bring your beau with you.’

  ‘What thing is that?’

  ‘A Christmas thing. Food, fun. You’ll like it.’

  ‘What kind of food? I’m warning you. I don’t want anything weird.’

  ‘It’s not weird.’ Jack whistled and Frikk popped up from under the table. Holly hadn’t noticed him there.

  She waited until Jack and Frikk had gone outside, locked the door behind them and headed upstairs for a shower.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The water was choppy by the time Tor had finished checking the nets and the crab traps. He looked at Frøy who was busy trying to jab the crabs.

  ‘You’re tempting fate. One of these days the crab will bite your paw, you know.’

  The cat ignored him.

  Tor turned the boat around and headed home. He wasn’t in any hurry to get there, he needed to clear his head.

  He hadn’t been sure what to expect when he woke up. Certainly not that Holly had left.

  He had gone downstairs looking for her and found her note on the kitchen counter. ‘My brother and his family are on their way home. I have to clean the house. See you later.’

  And then she had signed it with two x’s.

  What did that mean? He had no idea. Who wrote x’s on a note?

  It kept puzzling him, even as he went out to sea.

  The sun was up by the time he arrived at the first trap and Tor pulled out the note and read it again. Nope, still didn’t make sense. Maybe it means x-tra good, he thought, grinning.

  Frøy jumped up on the deck, nudging Tor with his head.

  Tory stroked him. ‘You’ve had your snack. You’re not a void that needs to be filled up constantly, you know.’

  Frøy flicked his tale and decided to ignore him. He stepped over the gunwale and walked primly on the outside of the wheelhouse, until he found his favourite spot in the front.

  ‘Could you move over, please. You’re blocking the view,’ Tor called out.

  The cat didn’t turn around at his voice, but he did shuffle a few centimetres to one side.

  ‘Much appreciated,’ Tor said, shaking his head.

  He steered the boat towards home, planning a late breakfast and trying to think what Holly might have meant with her note.

  Holly hesitated when she came down the narrow path to the pier. There was no sign of Tor’s boat, so perhaps he was out checking the nets and traps. She looked at her phone. It was past two. He should be back by now.

  She decided to wait and sat on the pier. It was mostly dry and the sun was doing its best impression of shining, creating sparkles on the water’s surface.

  When she squinted her eyes, she imagined seeing all the way to Shetland. According to Tor, they were at almost the same latitude.

  Holly took a picture to send to her dad. He would love this, she thought.

  But then she put away the phone again. There was something about sitting on a pier, feet dangling above the water and listening to the waves crashing against the pier posts that made her feel good. Or perhaps it was the night she had spent with Tor.

  Jack’s right about the air out here, she thought. There was something so fresh and crisp about it and it felt as if every shadowy corner of her brain had cleared up.

  The island was such a good place to get grounded again. It felt as if anything could happen, and that would be fine with her, especially as so much already had.

  She heard the sound of Tor’s boat before she could see it. Holly shielded her eyes, and tried to locate the boat, and smiled when it showed up behind the headland.

  The smile turned to laughter when she spotted the cat sitting on the foredeck, clearly enjoying the wind in his face. He looks like a fluffy figurehead, she thought.

  Tor guided the boat to gently glide alongside the pier. The engine stopped and he smiled at her. ‘Fancy seeing you here,’ he said.

  ‘Sorry I left this morning.’ Holly grabbed the rope he threw to her and looped it around the posts.

  ‘See? You’re getting the hang of this,’ Tor said, while putting the crab bucket on the pier before climbing out of the boat.

  Frøy did it with a lot more elegance, then strutted over to Holly and rubbed his head against her outstretched hand.

  ‘You know, he likes you better than me.’ Tor shook his head.

  Holly petted the cat’s silky head. ‘He’s a clever cat.’

  Tor grabbed one of the bench pillows and used it to sit on , then he made her sit next to him. ‘Is something wrong?’

  Suddenly it felt embarrassing to tell him. Holly looked at the sea again. ‘When I got home this morning, Jack and Ninni had arrived before me. It was a bit… awkward.’

  ‘Oh.’ Tor frowned. ‘Is this because your brother minds that you didn’t sleep in your own bed, or is it because you did something you now regret?’

  ‘I don’t regret it for a minute.’ Holly looked up at him. ‘Do you?’

  His smile was slow and utterly stomach pinching. ‘That would be stupid, so no. I don’t regret it at all.’

  ‘Right, because that would be stupid. And it’s not Jack’s business who I sleep with. He would like to meet you, though.’

  Tor frowned. ‘Yes, I imagine so.’

  Holly bumped her shoulder against his. ‘Jack is one of the best people I know. I’m a bit more concerned about you, to be honest.’

  ‘Me? Why? I’ll be nice to him.’ He looked genuinely surprised.

  ‘I know you have been seeing more of the people on this island since you became… friendly with me, and I also realise that meeting my family might not be something you’re altogether comfortable with.
’

  He didn’t say anything for a little while as Holly petted Frøy who had taken up residence partly on her lap. He was too big for anything else.

  ‘When I came here to the island, I was in bad shape. I just wanted to be left alone and I worked very hard to stay that way. The only one I talked too was Jens, and that was mostly to arrange things.’

  ‘Why would you do that? It’s not healthy, you know.’

  Tor shrugged. ‘Because if I talked to people, especially in a small place like this, they would ask questions about who I was, why I was on the island, what I do for a living, all that stuff.’

  ‘It sounds pretty normal, Tor. People are friendly. It’s not a bad thing,’ Holly said, unable to stop herself laughing at him.

  ‘Maybe, but I didn’t want any part of it. I was busy being miserable and didn’t want to have to pretend to anyone.’

  ‘You managed that. Some of them didn’t even know your name. They call you the hermit.’ Holly laughed when he looked at her. ‘You didn’t know?’

  ‘No, how could I? I never talk to anyone.’ He laughed when she laughed.

  ‘Oh, you’re too much. Does that mean that all the socialising you’ve done lately, is because of me?’ Holly suddenly wondered if she had bullied him out of his lair.

  Tor shook his head. ‘I wanted to be with you. And that means meeting the others, too. Including your family. I’ve been moping around long enough. It’s time to stop being miserable.’

  Holly looked down at the cat. ‘Why did you become a hermit, Tor? I mean, you’re hardly the kind who lives in a cage and never uses hot water and soap, but still. Staying away from everybody, that’s not healthy.’

  Tor shrugged. ‘I keep in contact with Henrik and his wife, and with my mother. If I didn’t they would all be here in a minute. When I arrived, I didn’t want company. I didn’t need it.’

  She noticed he still hadn’t told her the why. And she was curious, she had to admit that.

  ‘I was in a relationship,’ Tor said slowly. ‘It didn’t end well.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Holly said. ‘What happened?’

  ‘My partner at the time got pregnant and we lost the baby about six months into the pregnancy.’

  Holly was lost for words for a second. ‘It must have been so hard for you.’

  ‘It was. Mostly because I felt so guilty, you know. I didn’t want to be a father, not then, and I handled it badly. She didn’t really feel as if I supported her, not at first and not when we lost the baby.’ He looked so sad, Holly ached for him.

  ‘The truth is that before she told me, I was going to break up with her, and then I stayed because I felt trapped. When Linn lost the baby, my instant reaction was relief, and I think Linn sensed that. It didn’t matter that I felt such a loss when it sank in that the baby was gone. We never talked about it, and I couldn’t even admit it to myself. We went our separate ways soon after. So, in the end, I was free, except by then I wanted the baby and Linn. Does that make sense?’

  Holly took his hand. ‘I’m sorry, Tor.’

  ‘Life took a different turn. The strange thing was that as time passed, it became this feeling of loss that I didn’t think I would feel. I mean, it wasn’t as if we had lost a baby after it was born, but I grieved even so.’ Tor shook his head. ‘And then about two months ago, Linn called me to let me know that she had had a baby and sounded so happy. She didn’t want to tell me before because she didn’t want me to be sad.’

  Tor looked at Holly. ‘I can’t remember what I said, but I remember hanging up the phone, opening my computer and finding this house. I couldn’t stay in Oslo a minute longer.’

  ‘I don’t know much about grief, Tor. Not of losing a child, anyway, but my dad spoke about his grief sometimes. He said that he could be fine for months, years even, and then, out of the blue, it hits him. It never really goes away. So, maybe it caught up with you.’

  He smiled. ‘Maybe. I feel better now, though. Perhaps meeting you helped, or perhaps I’ve achieved some perspective on what happened.’

  ‘I’m glad you feel better.’ Holly leaned her head against his shoulder. Sitting like this, on the pier, felt so good.

  He rested his cheek on her head. ‘And you. What happened to you?’

  Holly frowned. ‘It’s nothing compared to your loss, and I can’t really blame anyone but myself. Even if I want to.’

  ‘Tell me.’ Tor smiled when she looked up at him. ‘Please.’

  Holly drew a deep breath. ‘Some months back I had a short relationship with another doctor. It was one of those things that happens, and it wasn’t serious for either of us, so we ended it and went our merry ways. Everything was fine.’

  Holly stared at the sea, too embarrassed to look at Tor anymore.

  ‘Did he harass you or something like that? Because that’s serious.’

  ‘No, it was nothing like that. But a few weeks ago we had different opinions on a patient, and Brian became more and more angry because I refused to agree with him. It escalated, with him calling me a man-eating bitch and all sorts of really nasty personal stuff. And the angrier he got, the more I stood my ground. We were standing in a corridor when it happened, with patients and nurses all around us.’

  She fell silent. It didn’t exactly put her in a favourable light.

  ‘What did you do?’ Tor still held her hand.

  Holly pulled a face. ‘I lost my temper and lifted my fists. Before I could hit him Brian stumbled backwards, fell over a chair, and went down like a potato sack. The patients found it hilarious. My boss, not so much. And Brian filed a formal complaint the next day. He wants them to fire me because I refused to follow his orders, and because I yelled back at him.’

  Holly could still feel the anger and made fists of her hands.

  ‘Sounds to me like he deserved it,’ Tor said.

  ‘He did, but I shouldn’t have screamed at him, and especially not in front of patients. I was suspended for a month on the spot, or until they decide what to do with me,’ she said.

  Tor frowned. ‘And because of this you could lose your job?’

  ‘Yes. I made a spectacle of myself and now I have to face the consequences.’

  ‘So, what will happen to you? If you lose your job, I mean.’

  ‘Like I said, I was supposed to start my specialist training in oncology in January, but if they decide against me, that will be lost. I might not even be able to work as a doctor, especially if it goes on my record. Which it probably will. Nobody wants a doctor who has had a screaming fight with a colleague.’ Holly put her head in her hands. ‘God, I can’t believe I did that. I mean, I wouldn’t want to work with someone like me.’

  ‘Wouldn’t they have to take into consideration that you didn’t actually hit him? And that you were seriously provoked?’

  ‘That’s what I’m hoping for, but there are no guarantees. All I can do, really, is to wait for the hospital’s decision.’

  ‘That’s bad. I mean, it’s Christmas and you have to wait for how long?’

  ‘I might still hear something before Christmas Day, but if I don’t it will probably not be until next year.’ Holly looked at him. ‘There’s very little I can do about it.’

  Tor put his arm around her shoulder. ‘Personally I would hire you in a second. You stood to a bully and to hell with him.’

  ‘You’re sweet. Thank you.’ Holly patted her hand on his chest. ‘Sorry. I’m not supposed to say thank you, am I?’

  She could feel him laughing through her hand. It made her breathe easier and suddenly nothing was that bad anymore.

  ‘So, what happens to Brian? I’m assuming he’s suspended too?’

  ‘No, he filed the complaint, and nothing will happen to him unless they decide in favour of me. Then, maybe… I don’t know. This is my first disciplinary case.’

  Tor thought about it for a second. ‘What about the patient? Who was right, you or Brian?’

  Holly sighed. ‘Brian, unfortunately. It would proba
bly work in my favour if I had been right, but Brian was. He thought it was gallstones, I was sure it was appendicitis.’

  Tor nodded. ‘I’m sorry. I hope they reinstate you.’

  ‘Me too, but I wouldn’t mind if they waited until next year now,’ Holly said. ‘I don’t want to fret over it the rest of this holiday. My bum is wet.’

  Tor chuckled. ‘So is mine. This pillow isn’t waterproof. Which it should be, since it says so on the label.’

  He stood and pulled her up after him.

  ‘I think we need to get inside and warm up.’

  Holly nodded. ‘Let’s do that, please.’

  Much later they were sitting on the floor in the lounge, in front of the fireplace, eating weird Norwegian food.

  Tor handed her a piece of rolled potato lefse. ‘Okay, this is gravlaks, with mustard sauce.’

  Holly let him feed her. Tor watched her chew the small nibble, then lit up when she groaned in delight. ‘Oh, that’s better than smoked salmon. Did you buy that on the market?’

  ‘No, I told you, I made that myself, and then a very lovely woman gave me a jar of mustard sauce.’

  ‘Can I have some more?’

  Tor handed her the rest of the lefse. ‘I also have some of the island’s famous fenalår that your brother makes. Have you tasted it?’

  ‘Not yet.’ Holly was enjoying the sight of him.

  Tor was sitting on the floor in his boxers with a blanket across his shoulders, while Holly was wearing one of his sweatshirts that was so long it was practically a dress.

  ‘Then you are in for a treat.’ He gave her a plate with some kind of very thin crispy bread, with a thin slice of meat.

  Holly dutifully took a mouthful. ‘Soft and salty, and even a bit sweet. No wonder people stood in line for these. I can’t believe Jack actually makes this,’ she said, taking the plate out of his reach. ‘No, all mine.’

  ‘I have to ask you something,’ Tor said while they polished off the rest of the food.

  ‘Please do,’ Holly said, feeling happy and content.

  ‘Remember the note you wrote me this morning?’

  ‘Yes, it’s not really a long time ago, Tor,’ Holly said, amused at his serious face.