AHMM, September 2012
Page 15
“Yes, of course: I know that! I am very willing. Has that monster disposed of many travellers in this frightful way?”
“There's no saying,” replied Waggleswick. “Not above two or three since we got wind of it in Bow Street.”
“And before? It is horrible to think of!”
“Ah!” agreed Jem. “Dear knows 'ow many went into that there copper afore us Runners come down ‘ere!”
On this macabre thought, Mr. Cranbrook retired again to his interrupted repose, if not to enjoy much slumber, at least to employ his time profitably in thinking out what plausible tale he would concoct for Miss Gateshead's benefit in the morning.
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4.
They met in the coffee-room, still shuttered and unaired. Miss Gateshead was unbarring the shutters when John came into the room, and her comments on the lack of orderly management in the inn were pungent and to the point.
“I tugged and tugged at the bell, and who do you think brought me a can of hot water at last?” she said. “The tapster!”
“It is too bad! But the thing is that they were cast into a pucker by the landlady's being taken ill in the night,” explained John glibly. “Should you mind putting on your bonnet, and stepping out with me to partake of breakfast at one of the other inns?”
“Not at all!” replied Miss Gateshead promptly. “I am very sorry for the landlady, but she almost deserves to be taken ill for keeping her house in such a shocking state! I will fetch my bonnet and pelisse directly.” She paused, coloured slightly, and said in a shamefaced voice: “I am afraid you must have thought me very foolish last night! Indeed, I cannot imagine what can have possessed me to be so nonsensical! I never slept better in my life! Is it not odd what absurd fancies one can take into one's head when one is a little tired?”
“Most odd!” agreed Mr. Cranbrook, barely repressing a shiver.
Copyright © Georgette Heyer, 1960. Published in Pistols for Two by Sourcebooks Casablanca, an imprint of Sourcebooks Inc. Originally published in the UK by William Heinemann Ltd. (1960) and by Arrow Books, a division of Random House UK.
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Department: THE STORY THAT WON
The March Mysterious Photograph contest was won by Randy DeWitt of Hudson, New Hampshire. Honorable mentions go to Jason Hunt of Hopedale, Massachusetts; Timothy Engelbrecht of Tampa, Florida; Timothy Hitchens of Middletown, Delaware; Cindy G. Brewer of Mount Pleasant, Michigan; Justin Fleischman of Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania; Ed Farr of Brooklyn, New York; Archer Dales of Brethren, Michigan; Katie Brown of Garden City, Michigan; Jon Brunette of Brooklyn Park, Minnesota.
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Copyright (C) 2012 Smit/Shutterstock.com
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The Cable Job
Randy DeWitt
A white van with temporary magnetic signs of the area's cable provider pulled into the dirt driveway. The driver looked at the house, down at his clipboard, then back at the house. This cannot be the place, he thought.
“My name's Joey,” he told the man who met him at the front door, “I'm here to install cable.” Much to his surprise, the man showed him in. “Let's see here. You ordered our platinum package which includes all the premium channels and sports packages.”
The man nodded. Joey couldn't believe it. What the place really needed, before splurging on cable, was a television from this century. A nice flat-screen mounted to the wall would free up some counter space for a toaster or something. Some curtains—plural——and new furniture couldn't hurt either. Then, all the guy had to do was move out of this crap hole.
“Will I get all the cooking channels?” the man asked.
“You bet,” Joey answered. “Do you like to cook?”
He shook his head no. “Just watch. Mostly Ciao Italia."
Joey suddenly felt queasy. His last boss watched that show. Probably still did in Sing Sing thanks to Joey's testimony. His boss got a life sentence. Joey got a new identity and a job installing cable in the Midwest. He knew someone would be coming after him.
“So how do you like this place?” the man asked. “It's not much to look at, but it's great for trapping rats.”
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Editor's Note: Dell Magazines invites you to take a peek into the publishing world. Join our four fiction titles at the Brooklyn Book Festival, NYC's largest free literary event, for author signings, giveaways, subscription deals, writers’ guidelines, and more.
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Department: COMING IN OCTOBER 2012
CONSTABLE SMITH AND THE LOST DREAMTIME by Rex Burns
CRAZY EIGHTS by David Edgerley Gates
MAD DOG by Jas R. Petrin
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Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine (ISSN:0002-5224), Vol. 57, No. 9, September 2012. Published monthly except for combined January/February and July/August double issues by Dell Magazines, a division of Crosstown Publications. Annual subscription $55.90 in the U.S.A. and possessions, $65.90 elsewhere, payable in advance in U.S. funds (GST included in Canada). Subscription orders and correspondence regarding subscriptions should be sent to 6 Prowitt Street, Norwalk, CT 06855. Or, to subscribe, call ‘-800-220-7443. Editorial Offices: 267 Broadway, 4th Floor, New York
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