Loner's Lady

by Lynna Banning

  Ah, Iona…Iona… Look down from your lofty porch on this poor mortal male who worships you from afar.

  Doc coughed and self-consciously peered up and down the quiet street, then cleared his throat. Might be time to cut short the after-supper poetry reading. But the smell of this morning’s sweet, clear air intoxicated him. Made him feel young and virile. Oh my, yes. Virile.

  He rounded the corner onto Harwood Street and counted the steps to Iona’s white picket fence. There she was! Ensconced like royalty, her tiny feet shod in shiny high-button shoes and propped on a white wicker foot-stool. Glory be, just look at her! A heavenly vision in pale yellow muslin with flounces and ruffles and swooped-up ribbons… She looked like a fairy sculpture made of soft lemon ice cream.

  She’s enough to make a man’s mouth water.

  Buoyed on the wings of his silent adoration, Doc stopped short at her gate, clicked his heels together smartly and, with a flourish, snapped her a salute. He hadn’t planned this, it just happened.

  His darling’s soft gray eyes opened wide, her delicate hand flew to her mouth. And then she laughed. A bubbling laugh, like silvery bells on a frosty Christmas night.

  Stunned, Doc held his pose because at the moment he couldn’t think of what to do next.

  She looked at him for a long, long minute, and then, very deliberately, she rose, a bemused expression on her perfect pink-and-white face, drew her diminutive figure up to its full height and returned his gesture with a crisp salute of her own.

  Doc stared at the slip of femininity standing at attention on her front porch, and slowly lowered his hand. She lowered hers as well, and then her lips curved into a gentle smile.

  Doc ogled her. He had an almost overpowering urge to look behind him, see who the smile was really meant for.

  No, he wouldn’t do that. He would live for days on that smile, and he would tell himself it was meant only for him. For him alone. This evening, after his supper of toast and leftover cheese, he would open his dog-eared volume of Byron and ascend to a still higher plane. She walks in beauty, like the night…

  He moved on down the street in a happy daze, while Iona looked after him, slowly shaking her head. She was unable to stop her smile, even though tears shone in her eyes.

  Dan bent forward and grasped the handle of the frayed leather satchel. With a shout he lifted it shoulder high and spun so the men could see it.

  A yard away, Ellen wrinkled her nose at the scent of rotting leather. With a shaking hand, Dan brushed away the dirt and mold as Gray stalked a half circle around the prize.

  “How much you figure there is, Danny?”

  “Enough to make us all bloody rich, boyo.” He patted the lumpy satchel with reverence, unbuckled the strap and upended it. “Enough for—”

  Three large stones tumbled out at Dan’s feet. The Irishman stared at the ground, his jaw sagging.

  “Whatza matter?” Gray blurted. “Where’s the gold?”

  J.D. took a step forward. “What is this, Danny?” His soft, menacing voice sent a chill up Ellen’s spine.

  Dan’s face had gone white. He shook the satchel hard, then peered inside, his eyes bulging, his mouth cursing. “Where’s me gold?” he breathed.

  Slowly he raised his head, a befuddled expression on his pale features. “Where is it?” His trembling voice hardened. “Which one of you bloody bastards took my gold?”

  Silence. The stunned men stared at each other with suspicion in their eyes. Then as a body, Gray, J.D. and Dan swung their gazes to Jess. The unspoken accusation hung in the hot, still air, and all at once Ellen couldn’t seem to draw breath.

  Dan advanced on him, holding out the empty satchel. “Whaddya got to say, Jess?”

  Jess met the Irishman’s crazed look with steady calm. “Don’t be a fool, Dan. You think I’m stupid enough to steal the money and wait around until you found me out?”

  “I damn well think you’re smart enough to cover your tracks real cleverlike.”

  “And,” J.D. interjected, pointing a bony forefinger at Jess, “what could be more clever than to stick around and throw us off the scent?”

  Jess looked his old enemy in the eye. “For one thing, it’d be too damn risky.”

  J.D. spat at Jess’s feet. “You’re no stranger to risk.”

  Gray wrestled a pistol from under his shirt and shook it under Jess’s nose. “You see this? I oughtta blow your cheating head off.”

  “Put your piece away,” Dan ordered. “You kill him and we’ll never know where the money is.”

  Jess watched Gray’s pistol waver, then disappear into the wide leather belt at his waist. “Like I said, if I’d found the money, I’d be long gone.”

  “Not if you had a good reason to stay,” J.D. rasped. His hard black eyes rested briefly on Ellen. “Like a woman.”

  Jess forced a smile. “You ever know me to let a woman get in my way, J.D.?”

  J.D. glared at him. “No, I can’t say that. What I do know is that you’d let a woman die before you’d change your plans.”

  Ellen’s breath hissed in through her teeth, and Jess groaned inwardly. He couldn’t explain now. Later he’d tell her what J.D. had had stuck in his craw all these years.

  “Besides,” Jess continued, keeping his voice as detached as he could manage, “Miz O’Brian is a married lady.”

  Dan jerked out of his stupor. “That’s right, boyo. And don’t you be forgettin’ it!”

  Jess flicked a glance at Ellen. “I haven’t forgotten it.” Not for one damn minute.

  “Excuse me, gentlemen,” Ellen said in her crisp voice. “I have something to say.”

  The men just looked at her.

  “First, I resent the implication about Mr. Flint and myself. And second, that money—wherever it is—was stolen in the first place. If I knew, if I even suspected, any one of you was hiding these ill-gotten gains, as a law-abiding citizen of this county, I would turn him over to the sheriff.”

  Dan sidled up to her. “Even me, Ellie?”

  She turned stony blue eyes on him. “Especially you.”

  Gray huffed out an exasperated breath. “Well, gosh-dammit, what’re we gonna do now?”

  Ellen drew herself up to her full height. “I will tell you exactly what you are going to do. You are going to saddle your horses and leave my farm.”

  “Our farm, Ellie,” her husband corrected.

  “You have yet to prove that to me, Mr. O’Brian.”

  “Can’t leave yet,” J.D. snarled. “Jess won my horse off me last night.”

  Ellen stiffened. “He did, did he?” She drilled Jess with a look that could ignite kindling. “Then you gentlemen have some decisions to make, do you not? About who rides which horse?”

  Gray chortled. “You mean who goes and who stays, don’tcha, Miss Ellen?”

  “As far as I am concerned, you can all go to the devil. Just get off my land.”

  “Ah, Ellie, lass, it isn’t that simple. ’Tis plain that one of us took that gold. Nobody’s goin’ anywhere till we figure out who.” He turned his gaze on the men. “You got that, J.D.? Gray?”

  “Yeah, we got it.” Gray answered for both of them.

  “Jess?” Dan planted himself in his line of vision.

  Jess met the Irishman’s distrustful gaze with a hard look, then locked eyes with J.D. “Count on it.”

  “Jess?” Ellen stepped into the shadowy barn and pulled the door shut behind her. In the light from the setting sun, chaff floated like shimmering flakes of gold, suspended in the still air.

  “Over here.” A low voice spoke out of the shadows. “In the stall next to Tiny.”

  Ellen moved toward the sound. “Whatever are you doing?”

  “Rasping my horse’s hooves. J.D. must have stolen this one from some farmer’s back forty. Hasn’t been looked to in some time.”

  Jess straightened as Ellen reached the stall. She studied the dun-colored gelding, then moved her gaze to the tight face of the man standing next to it. “T
his horse is yours, then? From the poker game?”

  “It’s mine. Providing J.D. doesn’t steal it back.”

  “Will you be—” it was hard to get the words past her lips “—riding on?”

  He dropped the rasp onto the clean straw and shouldered his way through the gate. In two long strides he stood before her, breathing heavily, his mouth taut. “Dammit, Ellen, you know I won’t do that. Not while you need help.” He grasped her shoulders with hard fingers. “Not while you need me. I’m not leaving you until you tell me to go.”

  “When…when those men ride off, Dan will stay. He’ll help me, so I won’t need… I mean…”

  “You won’t want me to stay,” Jess said in a quiet voice. “Because you’re banking on Dan?”

  She wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I am relying on my husband, yes.”

  “That’s not good enough, Ellen. The time’s coming when you’re going to have to choose.”

  “What do you mean, choose?”

  He took one step closer. “Way I see it, you’re coming to a crossroads. You’ve got to decide what you want for the rest of your life.”

  “I know what I want,” she replied instantly. “I want this farm. This land.”

  “And Dan?” He watched her, his eyes darkened almost to purple.

  “Yes, and Dan.”

  “Why?”

  The question caught her off guard. Her breath hitched in her tightening chest. “Why? Because we are man and wife. Because—”

  “Because he goes with the territory,” he interjected. “Not because you would choose him, but because you’ve bought the whole package. In your mind, the farm and Dan go together.”

  “Yes.” Even to her ears, her voice sounded lifeless.

  “Ellen. Ellen. Is it really Dan you want? Dan you would choose over another man, farm or no farm?”

  She bit her lip until she could trust her voice. “I cannot separate the two, Jess. I cannot pick one part of my life and discard another.”

  “Why not?” His voice rose. “Why the hell not?”

  “Because…because marriage is a commitment. For better or for worse.”

  Jess snorted. “For God’s sake, what are you saying? That you’re willing to sweat and suffer and wait for Dan when he leaves again?”

  “He won’t leave again. He loves me.”

  “That isn’t the important question. What is important is whether you love him.”

  She felt the blood drain from her face. Did she love Dan? A glimmer of understanding flared in her brain, but she quickly pushed it aside. What did she really want for the rest of her life?

  “I can’t think of these things now, with Gray and J.D. here and everything all upside down.”

  “You can’t not think of these things now,” Jess retorted. “You’re making the bed you’ll lie in until the day you die, and Gray and J.D. have nothing to do with it. Soon as that gold turns up, you—not Dan—will have a big decision to make.”

  “You didn’t take it, did you, Jess.” It wasn’t a question. Deep inside she knew things about this man, things she did not know about her own husband. Jess did not steal the money.

  But Dan?

  What do I want for the rest of my life?

  She wanted to be loved. To love a man enough to want his child. Oh God, she couldn’t think about that now.

  “What do you think happened to the money, Jess?”

  Jess shook his head. “Not sure. Only thing I’m certain of is that I don’t have it. That leaves J.D. and Gray. And Dan.”

  “How do you know I didn’t take it?” she whispered.

  Jess brushed his hand under her chin, tipping her face up so their eyes met. “Same way you know that I didn’t. Trust.”

  Ellen choked back a sob. “Never in a hundred years did I dream I would ever trust a man like you. A wanderer. An outlaw. But God help me, I do.”

  Jess chuckled. “God’s going to have to help us both before this is over. You came to the barn looking for me, Ellen. What was on your mind?”

  “I want to ride one of these horses into town tomorrow morning, to see the sheriff. Tiny will be too slow.”

  “If that’s what you’re set on, I won’t stop you. You’re welcome to my horse and my saddle. There’s just one thing.”

  “And that is?”

  “If you see my picture on the sheriff’s wall, you going to turn me in?”

  Ellen stared at him, her blue eyes widening like morning glories unfolding in the sun. “Until this moment, I never even thought of it. Jess, for Lord’s sake, if you thought your photograph might be posted, why did you take me into town last Sunday? You might have been recognized!”

  “I gave it some thought, all right. Then I figured I’d rather take my chances than miss that cake competition.” A smile tugged at his lips. “Guess I hoped after two years there wouldn’t be a wanted poster for me.”

  “Don’t you dare joke about this!” she snapped.

  “Who says I’m joking?” The grin faded. “We’re wasting time, Ellen. Sun’s almost down. Any minute Dan’s going to come looking for you.”

  She gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head. “I don’t think so.”

  Jess stared at her. “Had words, did you?”

  “N-no. Not exactly. I—well, I’m going to talk to him before supper.”

  Jess blinked. “You’re what?”

  Ellen swallowed. “Dan is a good actor. I’m going to let him know that I see through his performance. He’s not going to like what I have to say.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Ah, now, lass, don’t ye know nothin’ on God’s green earth is more important to me than you? You’re my own sweet Ellie, you are.” Dan smacked a loud kiss on her cheek. “Always have been, since the day we met.”

  Ellen settled into the wicker rocker on the front porch, tilted her head up and surveyed her husband in the glow of the fading light. “You were the handsomest man in Willow Flat when you came to town.”

  “Was I, now?” He gave her a roguish smile. “’Tis true, Ellie. But I liked you best, you know that.”

  Ellen looked away. “It’s no wonder I married you, Dan. I was twenty-two, practically an old maid, when you proposed. And you weren’t afraid of Papa, even when he was drunk.”

  “Aye, that’s true enough.”

  Ellen gazed into his evasive, velvety eyes and sighed. “Back then it seemed you were the answer to everything.”

  “And I was, lass. I still am.”

  “Dan, there’s more to being a husband than kissing and…other things. Don’t you see?”

  “Women like kissing. At least you used to.”

  Ellen said nothing. She looked into the grinning face of the man she had married, and felt a dark, heavy cloud settle over her.

  “We’re gonna be rich, Ellie. Just think of it! I’ll take care of you in fine style, I will.”

  “Do you think it’s riches I want? It’s you I want.”

  “’Tis me you’ve got, lass. Here, in my heart.” He lightly cuffed his chest.

  “I want more than that. I want you here on the farm, with me. I want to be able to…well, welcome you to my bed.”

  “You’re tellin’ me you don’t feel that way?” He paced to the edge of the porch, then returned to stand before her. “If that sneak-thief Jess Flint has turned your head, has changed you against me—”

  “Dan. Oh, Dan,” she said wearily. “It isn’t a matter of you or him.”

  “Isn’t it, now? You want him ’stead of me?”

  She opened her mouth to reply but could not make a sound. The word want stopped her. In the carnal sense, she had to admit that yes, she did want Jess. She could not fathom what had come over her in the past few days, but after months and months of feeling half-alive as a woman, she had begun to sense the soft nibbling of hunger. Of desire.

  But not for her husband. Dear God, she didn’t feel that for Dan. She curled her fingers into fists and shut her eyes tight. The truth lay before her
like a handful of dry seeds, shriveled and lifeless. If she did nothing, they would never germinate.

  What about wanting in the larger sense? Wanting to be a helpmate? Wanting to please a man, to make him happy because it made her feel good?

  “Things are different now,” she said, her voice quiet. “You are different. I don’t know how to say this, but I feel I don’t know you anymore.”

  He grabbed one fist out of her lap and pressed it to his midriff. “You know me, Ellie girl. Here I am in front of you, lovin’ you. Same as always.”

  “I dreamed of your coming home. Imagined how it would be, how we would be. But…”

  He moved her hand to his chest. “Feel my heart beatin’ there? It’s all for you, Ellie. The money and everything.”

  “Yes,” she breathed. “I know.”

  “Well then, lass, what else is it you’re wantin’?”

  That word again. She drew in a long, unsteady breath. “I want you to stay home. Stay here with me. I want you to turn your stolen money over to the law.”

  “Woman, I can’t do that. Not after promisin’ the boys—”

  “And,” she interjected, her voice close to breaking, “I want you to swear you will not leave the farm again.”

  “Ellie, Ellie, I’ll never leave you, not in my heart.”

  “In some ways, you already have.”

  The light went out of his brown eyes. “Stayin’ home’s not for me, lass. Me and the boys, we’re headin’ to Mexico to hide out. Why don’t you come with me?”

  “Come with you?” She sucked in air. “You mean travel to Mexico with the Ryder gang?”

  “Sure, Ellie. You’ll be able to ride in a few days, when your leg’s better. You’d be treated like a queen, I promise you.”

  Ellen stared at him in disbelief. “Stop and think, Dan. What kind of life would that be for us? For me?”

  “Why, a fine life! Plenty of money. Pretty dresses and fancy hats with feathers, all the things ladies like.”

  Her stomach roiled. “Do you really think those are the things women long for?” she whispered hoarsely. She had loved this man once. What had happened to him? What had happened to her?