Make Me a Mommy: A Mother's Day Secret Baby Romance

by Liz K. Lorde

  I’m losing my sense of time. There’s still daylight, but the sun is well-hidden behind thick clouds.

  I trudge some more.

  Melted snow and ice is starting to seep through Jack’s giant boots, soaking my poor feet. I realize that I’m shivering. It wasn’t that cold when I left the cabin, but it’s starting to get unbearable.

  I see what looks like a clearing. I don’t know where I’m going, but I might as well start towards that. I lift my leg up and take another step, breaking through a top layer of ice and pushing down through two or more solid feet of snow.

  And there it is—a slurry of fresh powder and jagged scraps of ice flood into my boot.

  I feel my lower lip pressing against my incisors, my mouth so ready to make an F sound.

  “Ffffff…”

  I never wanted to swear so bad in my life, but I stop myself. I settle for slamming the backs of my hands against the frozen top layer of ice.

  “Ffffffff…”

  Gosh, that stings, but I stop myself from swearing again.

  Looking down at my freezing, red hands, still lying on the ice, I notice that I’m still carrying Jack’s camera around my neck.

  I also notice an unexpected sensation coming from above.

  Is that…warmth?

  And is that sunshine I see glistening off the crystals of snow and ice?

  I lift my hands up from the snow, which is already starting to melt.

  I’m still soaked, but I’m not shivering anymore.

  I stand up straight and see the blue sky, and sunshine coming from almost directly overhead.

  It must still be early in the afternoon, and it’s suddenly much warmer.

  Instead of being ready to celebrate my good fortune, I’m worried that dreaming this, or hallucinating, while I’m actually passed out in a snowdrift somewhere.

  With each step I take, the revolting sound and feeling of melting slush are there to remind me that I’m still very much in reality.

  Wherever I’m going, I’m getting closer to the clearing. But wherever my destination is, it’s further than the few steps I thought hoped it would be.

  The sun sinks below the horizon as I trudge along, and the wind is bringing a chill back to the air. If it wasn’t already below freezing before, it is now. Gusts of wind are blowing snow around chaotically.

  I put a hand up like a visor over my eyes as I approach a clearing. It’s getting dark faster than I expected it would, making it impossible to see much.

  There’s a dense thicket of trees on the other side of the clearing. My goal is to find my way out of the woods, but with the wind violently whipping snow and sleet in every which direction, a shielded spot under some tall trees is starting to seem inviting.

  I step into the clearing. The snow is no longer up to my waist, but my oversize boots are full of thawing mush. Pretty soon, it’s going to be like I’m standing in two pools of water.

  I don’t want that. In fact, I don’t want to be standing at all for much longer. That grove of trees, just across the clearing, looks like a nice spot for a quick rest.

  It can’t be more than fifty feet away, or maybe a hundred. It’s tough judging distances with all this frozen water flying around, not to mention in the dark.

  I hold Jack’s camera up, and in a stroke of genius, fumble with the flash before I take a picture. The flash lights up the darkness, illuminating the clearing around me, if only for a second.

  It also seems to be swiftly getting darker. It can’t be that late, can it?

  What time did I think it was, again? The flash is enough to help me get my bearings and make it a few more feet further in the snow. Plus, I guess this way if I die—which I’m constantly sure I’m going to do out here anyway—at least my last few moments will be documented if anyone develops this film.

  Wow, I’m really shivering. I’m also struggling to keep my eyes open. Getting through snow this deep is hard work, and it’s quickly exhausting me.

  Flash! Goes the camera as I use it to light my way.

  This is ridiculous. How big can these woods be, anyway? I thought I’d find my way to civilization by now—a town, a road, maybe Burlington, or the Ben and Jerry’s factory or something.

  Flash!

  I thought I’d find my way out of all this. I should’ve known it wouldn’t be easy.

  There’s no time for these self-indulgent thoughts. I feel like I’m about to fall asleep in the middle of this clearing. I can’t let that happen.

  Flash!

  I start running through the clearing. It’s blustery and bitterly cold, there’s water sloshing around my feet, and my eyelids are getting remarkably heavy—but I need to make it to the clearing before I pass out.

  I just need to get back into the woods, then I can doze off, and nap.

  I can see the woods, the snow-blanketed pines. It almost looks too perfect, like an old, classic cartoon.

  Like a Disney movie.

  Flash!

  I’m Snow White, fleeing to find refuge in the woods.

  But if I’m Snow White, then who’s the Queen? And who’s the Huntsman?

  Flash!

  Who cares? For a moment, I can see the beautifully drawn forest in front of me. It’s so close, yet just out of reach.

  I’m still running, I think. I must be getting my second wind – it’s like I’m flying right into the forest with no effort at all.

  Flash!

  I wonder which woodland creatures will be there to greet me? They’ll probably be frightened of me at first, but I can win them over with a song.

  Flash!

  I think the bulb on this camera is dying. When it does, I’ll be truly in the dark. From what I can see, I’m in the forest, but it doesn’t look too enchanted.

  I don’t sense any magic in the air, just the same viciously cold air.

  And that wind, it doesn’t let up—neither does my shivering.

  I collapse onto the forest floor, sitting at first, fighting to keep my eyes open. I can’t fight it any longer, though, the urge to sleep is overpowering.

  I collapse again, this time landing face down on the enchanted forest ground. The snow is making a cool, soft pillow to rest my face.

  I let my eyes close, relieved to feel the sweet embrace of sleep.

  But what’s this? I hear the tippy taps of what could only be an adorable woodland creature approaching.

  Enough napping, I feel energized enough by this development.

  “Oh, please don’t be frightened,” I say, lifting my head up to get a good look at my new friend. I clear my throat, trying to get my singing voice ready.

  I aim the camera at the sound. It will allow me to get a better look at the wide-eyed deer or bunny rabbit that’s come to greet me. Maybe the picture I take will end up being actually cute for once.

  Flash!

  “Oh, ffffff…” I’m not singing.

  This woodland creature is not of the Disney variety. In fact, this woodland creature would be much more at home in a Werner Herzog documentary.

  A bear. It’s a freaking bear.

  The bear doesn’t seem interested in answering my question. It looks ragged, like he, or she, just woke up from its own midday badly from a nap.

  And I just flashed a big, bright light right in its big, grumpy bear face.

  I see a hint of fear in the bear’s eyes, but that’s not stopping it from coming closer. I start pushing myself up, but the second I begin to move, the bear slaps the ground with its paws, lowers its head and makes a low, growling noise.

  “Uh… Easy there, big fella. I didn’t mean to wake you from your hibernation or whatever.” Now I really want to move, but I can’t. My head feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, and it falls back to the ground.

  All I wanted to do was make a clean break and try to get a fresh a start in life as I could.

  “And now,” I whimper softly into the ground, “now I’m just going to die.”

  I shut my eyes. This can’t re
ally be happening, can it?

  The bear roars. It’s happening. I keep my eyes shut tight.

  I feel the heat of the bear drawing nearer, and I hear the sound of its paws hitting the ground—followed by what sounds like the bear’s entire body hitting the ground.

  There’s grunting. Huffing. Snorting. Scrambling around.

  Then I hear it: a roar.

  Not a bear’s roar, but a man’s.

  Jack.

  Jack’s come to save me.

  Barking follows, and I hear the bear snarl in response.

  Buck.

  My man and his dog are here to save the day.

  The final thing I hear is a nasty, awful wet sound.

  SNAP!

  I open my eyes and lift up my head once again.

  I can’t see anything.

  Flash! Goes the camera.

  Jack is lying top of the bear, holding its head between his hands.

  “Jack?”

  Jack drops the bear’s lifeless head and stands up.

  “It’s okay,” Jack says quietly. “He didn’t suffer. You’re safe now.”

  “You k-killed it with just your hands, Jack!”

  I can feel him shrug as he comes over to me, scooping me up in his arms.

  “I’m a killer,” he tells me. “That’s what these hands do.”

  But when he smooths his warm palm over my cold, wind-burnt cheek, I know his hands are good for other things, too.

  I’ve felt them. On my skin and between my legs and now, on my face, warming me up with their impossible heat.

  There’s a gentleness inside him that I don’t think even he knows is there. But I’m starting to see it.

  “Let’s get you home, honey,” Jack says, placing a hot kiss on my forehead.

  I feel like my head is growing heavy again, and sleep overtakes me.

  Jack

  What the fuck was she thinking?

  This girl obviously knows nothing about the great outdoors.

  She could’ve got herself killed so easily. The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. If I haven’t been there in time, Avery’s life would’ve ended.

  She must’ve really wanted to get away from me to brave this kind of cold. I can’t imagine what was running through her head. I find myself feeling angry and worried all at once.

  I scoop her up into my arms to begin the long trudge back to the cabin. She’s delirious and on the verge of hypothermia.

  The whole way back I’m thinking of how much I must’ve scared her. Like I said, I’m a danger to everybody. I have to live removed from society.

  But as I feel the slight weight of Avery in my arms, I can’t deny that I have a strong desire for her. Hell, at this point, I can’t imagine ever forgetting about her. She’s got me hooked pretty fucking good.

  I hike through the snow with her in my arms. The wind is against us and it’s blowing snowflakes right into my eyes.

  I can barely see but I know exactly where I’m going. Living out here has given me a certain sense of direction that’s always on call.

  I know how to survive in a snowstorm. Avery obviously fucking doesn’t. I know how to fight off a bear. Avery couldn’t even if she knew how. I know my way around the woods. But Avery, she’s lost as shit out here.

  Not that it stops her from trying to fuck around in my domain anyway.

  I almost lost her today.

  I’m talking to her, trying to keep her conscious, “Avery, are you okay? Do you know who I am?”

  She opens her eyes for a second and says, “You’re “You’re…Hagrid?”

  Even in her frozen little state, I can see her eyes narrow and her lips curl into a smile.

  Christ. Even now, she’s fucking with me.

  “Jack,” she says with a tired little giggle. “Of course, I know you.”

  Her sweet words do a lot to melt my fucking heart. But all I can think about at this moment is getting her back to the cabin and to safety. I’m gonna have to warm her up quickly.

  At last, I see the smoke from the chimney and it leads me to our way home. I have to get her inside.

  I run through the blizzard towards the house with Buck bounding at my heels. I get her up to the bedroom and immediately strip away all of her frozen clothes.

  Then, I peel off my own layers so that I can warm her up with my body heat. It’s the fastest way to keep her conscious.

  “Boof!” says Buck. A little judgmentally, if I’m being completely honest.

  “Out,” I order, and he sulks away, looking at me like I’m misbehaving somehow.

  Silly mutt is just jealous. He cares about this girl as much as I do. Probably wants to be the one curling up around her and getting her warm.

  But this? This is a man’s job.

  I lay her naked body down on the mattress. I add some more logs to the little fireplace near the bed so that the fire is roaring and the heat warms up her lithe and beautiful body.

  Then I lay down next to her and hold her tightly, pulling the blankets up over both of us. My frame envelops her own and I like it that way.

  While I’m bringing her back to life, all I can think about is sending her to the stars and making her come so hard that she’ll never forget this night. I want to punish her for running away from me. I want her to know that it can never happen again.

  What is this newfound sense of possessiveness? I never let anybody enter my life; at least I haven’t for a while now. Avery’s starting to get to me. Makes it especially hard to be curled around her like this in front of the fire.

  Slowly, she comes to.

  She says, “Jack, you saved me out there.”Jack…I almost died.”

  I want to scold her, to remind her that she is no idea what she’s doing out here deep in the woods, but I decide that will make the situation worse.

  Instead, I find myself whispering calming words into her ear, “I would’ve been there in a matter what. You never have anything to fear, Avery. Not when you’re with me.”

  All I can hope is that those words are true.

  She smiles up at me and even in the midst of her degraded state she looks fucking gorgeous. It takes all my effort not to bend her legs back over her head and pound her right here on this rug.

  We stay there awhile, entwined in front of a roaring fire. Slowly I feel her skin start to heat up. She and I are looking into the flames thinking about each other.

  I know she wants me as badly as I do. It takes everything I have, every source of my strength, to hold back from fucking her. I know she wants me to but I have to hold out.

  First, we have to have the conversation.

  After a long silence she finally says, “Jack, you rescued me. You’re my hero.”

  I hold her tighter and say, “No Avery, I did you wrong. I’m sorry for what happened this morning. I’m sorry that you felt like you had to run away from me. That wasn’t me. Can you understand that?”

  “I…I…” She hesitates. “I don’t fully understand it, Jack. But something inside of me is telling me to trust you. I will never run away from you again. I’m so sorry.”

  I tip her face to my own and look into her tear-filled eyes. It kills me that she felt so bad about this. I’m the one who scared her away after all.

  “I will never make you feel like that again. Can you trust me?”

  “I think so. I want to,” she says.

  With that, I wrap myself ever tighter around her little body. I need her to warm up even more. I need to make sure my baby is fully conscious and safe and healed.

  The feel of her so tightly conjoined with my body is enough to make me go crazy. I know she can feel my huge cock pressing against her, hard as ever.

  I make no attempt to hide it. I want her, bad.

  Now that she knows how sorry I am maybe I can take her. Maybe she would have me once again.

  I need to know that she’s fully warmed up though. I need to make sure that she safe. So we stay like that, wrapped up in each other for what feels li
ke an eternity.

  The fire’s starting to die out but my desire has not taken a backseat. I’m burning for her, aching for her.

  And I know she feels it too. The electricity between us is always on. It keeps us both on high alert.

  The feeling is one that I never dreamed was possible for me. To connect with someone in this way is so far beyond what I imagined for myself that I can’t even describe it.

  Suddenly, Avery has become important to me. Suddenly, it’s my mission in life not to lose her again. Today was too close a call.

  I slide my hands down her body and feel her beautiful ass and her soft skin. I can’t help myself. I have to touch her.

  Her body is tense under the feel of my hands and I know she’s simultaneously yearning for it and afraid of it. That makes me happy.

  I’m so wild, robust, and overwhelming. She’s so gentle, cultivated, and sweet-tempered.

  We are disparate, opposites. And yet opposites attract, and I feel myself aiming for, lusting for everything she has that I am not. I feel impassioned by her tender nature and all I want is more and more of her.

  I let my hand graze ever farther down her body.

  I shouldn’t, but I do.

  She’s mine.

  Avery

  Remember being a kid and falling asleep on a long car ride home? You’d wake up just before you got there, and it would take a moment to get your bearings, remember exactly where you were.

  I recall the cozy comfort of being so small in such a large back seat. The safe hug of the seat belt holding me adrift as my body sunk forward, nodding off.

  It’s almost that feeling again right now. The dopey, childlike exhaustion. The intrinsic knowing that I’m so close to home, I have to stay awake—even when all I want to do is drift back into sleep.

  The only difference is that my entire body is frozen in the cold like an icicle, and instead of a seat belt, I’m encapsulated by Jack’s hot, unrelenting warmth.

  The man’s skin is burning. He’s not just warm—he’s almost feverish when it comes to how hot his skin feels pressed against mine.

  My naked body is gooseflesh from head to toe. I can even feel the cold in my bones.

  I burrow against him, finding a place where my body fits against his, seeking to possess his warmth.

  My head goes just beneath his chin. I can feel the thick, wiry hairs of his beard scratch against my scalp like a boar-bristle brush as he tucks his chin over me, locking me into place.