Crazy Stupid Love (Blame it on New York)

by Cassie Rocca

  “Do you want to talk?”

  “No.”

  Zoe sighed. “It’s obvious that I’ve picked the wrong time – your head’s elsewhere, you haven’t got time for me. I’d better go.”

  Eric saw her stand up and straighten out her dress and then take a step towards the door. At that point he took hold of her hand to restrain her. He’d be damned if he was going to let her just walk out like that on top of everything else!

  “Forgive me for not jumping to attention and being ready to sit and hear whatever pops into your pretty little head. But tonight I’m not really in the mood for listening to bullshit.”

  Zoe went pale in the shadows, shocked by his tone and especially by the anger in his voice, and her eyes grew sad. She sat down next to him and brushed the hair from his forehead.

  “God, you’re so right… I’ve been unloading all my bullshit onto you for too long. But it won’t happen again. I promise,” she murmured, stroking his cheek. “I don’t know what happened tonight, but whoever got you into this state doesn’t deserve you, believe me.”

  “You’re right, she doesn’t deserve me… But my stupid heart doesn’t care, unfortunately” replied Eric.

  Then, to her complete surprise, he ran his hand through her hair, grasped her neck and pulled her towards him, putting his mouth against hers.

  When she’d rung the doorbell of Eric’s apartment, that turn of events was the last thing she would have expected. She had climbed into a taxi two hours earlier, braving the storm in the hope of spending a fun evening. She had decided to go on the blind date with her mysterious suitor simply to have something to do other than staying at home watching a tearjerker on TV, but she hadn’t been particularly optimistic about it. What would it be but dinner with a man that meant nothing to her, pretending for a few hours that she wasn’t alone and desperate: the usual.

  While the taxi was making its way at a snail’s pace through the traffic, trying to get out of the congestion it found itself in, she had watched the rain beating on the windshield with unparalleled violence and wondered if it really was worth it. The chill of the evening had penetrated her to the bone through the seductive dress she had worn more out of habit than any real intention of seducing anyone, and suddenly she had found herself asking the taxi driver to turn down a side street and drive in the other direction until she told him to stop. The man had seemed sympathetic and, for nearly an hour, had driven aimlessly around the city.

  Zoe had thought long and hard and decided that she was going to stop. No more blind dates with dinner in the company of strangers; she didn’t want any more relationships that served only to give her the illusion of having a man beside her. If it was real love she wanted, it was time to start acting as though she deserved it.

  And then, on an impulse, she had asked the taxi driver to head for the East Side.

  She needed her best friend. On a night like that, she felt the need to be comforted by the only person who was able to give her security.

  Only it was not her usual sweet, tender Eric who opened the door, but a cold, angry and half drunk man.

  A man who was kissing her with barely restrained lust.

  Taken totally off guard, Zoe froze. Eric’s lips were hard and the kiss he was giving had nothing in common with the fairy tale one she had dreamed of months before. On the contrary, it seemed almost like a punishment. But why?

  Was it some other woman he was actually trying to punish…?

  She stiffened in anger and pushed him away. “How much have you drunk? Hey, I’m not Stephanie!”

  “I know damn well you’re not. And don’t worry, I’m not so drunk that I don’t know what I’m doing – the way you did on New Year’s Eve.”

  The way you did on New Year’s Eve?!

  That must mean that…?

  Zoe had no time to reply or to think, though, because Eric’s mouth was once again pressed against hers, this time with less coldness but with the same forcefulness, and her mind began to cloud over. She kept superimposing the image of that night in Times Square over what was happening now until the two kisses eventually began to merge into one.

  So it was all true… She hadn’t dreamed any of it…

  Something inside her seemed to swell and then suddenly explode into dozens of small pieces, each of which seemed to find its proper place. She felt a heavy weight slipping from her shoulders, all her doubts vanishing, while only one desire began to fill her heart: she wanted to kiss Eric Morgan, and this time she wanted to remember it perfectly.

  She put her hot, trembling hands to his face and returned his kiss as gently as she could. She felt the tension in Eric’s body evaporate and his lips soften, and at that point she felt as though she could recognize him again. He no longer seemed angry or determined to take revenge. He just seemed to want to devour her.

  It would really be a pain in the ass if she fainted with joy right now.

  She felt as light headed as if she had been inhaling helium – she couldn’t think straight, all her senses were focused on the contact with those soft lips, and her own reaction surprised her more than a little. Her heart was pounding in her chest as violently as the storm outside, the blood was flowing in her veins like a raging torrent and her skin was getting hot at an alarming rate.

  Was it really Eric who was kissing her? Her best friend? The shy, intelligent and surprisingly sexy guy she worked with?

  A lovely feeling of finding herself face to face with a stranger swept over her. Eric’s familiar scent was comforting, his passion was turning her on, and the whole situation was complete insanity. But it was an insanity that she was in no hurry to recover from.

  She put her hand into his wet hair and pulled him to her, but at that moment the sudden, blinding return of the electric power made them both freeze.

  Zoe opened her eyes to find Eric’s profound, clear eyes staring back at her. They were so close that their noses were touching and only an inch or so separated their lips. On his face was an expression so intense that it made her feel dizzy.

  “Bad timing,” he murmured, with a hoarse and sensual voice that lit a thousand sparks on her skin.

  He was right, the lights had come back on at a very inconvenient time. Had it been fate putting a providential stop to this madness or just a coincidence?

  She had to make a decision: to go back to what they had been doing or to move away before it was too late.

  Kissing Eric could be dangerous, especially given the strange emotions that he had somehow been arousing in her lately. And moreover, he was with another girl…

  The thought struck her like a baseball bat, but for none of the right reasons. She should immediately extract herself from that triangle and feel guilty about what she was doing to another unsuspecting girl. Instead all she could do was feel fierce jealousy.

  This was her Eric, and she wasn’t planning on sharing him with anyone.

  Looking into his slightly misty eyes, Zoe sent her better judgment to hell and bent over to turn off the lamp next to the couch.

  “Are you turning off the light to forget who you’ve got in front of you?” he asked.

  “I’m turning off the light to avoid you getting distracted,” whispered Zoe.

  With the room once again immersed in twilight, she put her arms around his neck and kissed him, sighing with pleasure when she felt Eric’s lips surrender to hers with no trace of hesitation.

  The abruptness of the first kiss was inexorably replaced by a languid passion. Eric didn’t seem to be in any kind of rush, and he savored her so slowly and so deeply that it took her breath away. His hands on her body were delicate, but they knew exactly how to touch the right spots. In a state of stunned euphoria, Zoe felt as though she had been plunged into some parallel reality from which she had absolutely no desire to return.

  He had always been there, right beside her. How many other times could she have enjoyed these wonderful feelings, if only she had been able to imagine them?

  Had Eric
always thought of her that way, or was it just a momentary impulse inspired by the wine?

  A thousand thoughts flowed through her mind, some wonderful and some horrible. Maybe they should break off that wonderful kiss and have a talk to try and work out what was really going on…

  But Eric drew her to him, pulling her onto his lap, his hands moving lazily under her dress, touching her thighs where her stockings ended and pushing higher and higher, his caresses becoming more and more daring.

  Zoe put all thoughts of talking things through out of her mind.

  All in all, the explanations could wait.

  Chapter 12

  An oblique ray of sunlight fell across the bed, caressing the crumpled sheets and stubbly cheek of the man asleep between them.

  It was too early to get up and go to work, but Zoe was already up, fully dressed and gripping her phone tightly in her hand. But she couldn’t take her eyes off the sleeping figure.

  One of his arms lay outstretched on the mattress where not long ago she herself had been, his face was partially hidden by the pillow, and his bare, uncovered limbs contrasted with the whiteness of the sheets. The expression on that face which she so adored was so relaxed and satisfied that it gave her a shiver of pleasure to see it.

  In her mind’s eye, she saw the image of the hypothetical awakening they might have had if she had only stayed in that bed: a sleepy look while he focused on her face, a tender smile spreading over his soft lips and a hoarse voice wishing her good morning as he bent over to kiss her…

  Her stomach tightened and, consequently, so did the hand she was holding the phone in. The powerful desire she felt to see that scene come true was the reason why she had slipped out of the warm bed and hurriedly gotten herself dressed.

  The images of the night before came flooding back into her mind, making her blush.

  She would never again doubt Eric’s talent for lovemaking.

  He had made her tremble with desire. Had been careful, slow, curious, untiring. He had taken everything he wanted and given all of himself in return. She couldn’t remember when she had ever had so much pleasure in a man’s arms in her life, and all without resorting to any kind of erotic trickery. The sweetness of the guy had won her over after the first few kisses, and the rest had been a wonderful, exciting discovery.

  But what did it all mean?

  The question troubled her deeply. Feeling this euphoric after a night spent with someone she’d just met would have been a lot simpler. Feeling like she was walking on air thanks to a guy she had always known and with whom she had shared the joys and sorrows of daily life – that was scary.

  If things didn’t work out, everything would be over between them.

  She was terrified.

  Her tender bosom buddy, her fussy co-worker, the sarcastic critic of her lifestyle, was right there, fast asleep, oblivious to what was going through her head. What would he think when he eventually woke up? Would he be puzzled? Would he too feel confused and frightened? The night before he’d been drunk and angry, maybe it had been that which had set the train of events in motion…

  Still, Eric had said things that left her breathless, and confirmed that the kiss she thought she had dreamed on New Year’s Eve had really happened.

  How could he have dissembled like that? And why had he done it? To protect their friendship? Or because he wasn’t interested in going any further?

  The memory of the passion they had shared that night leapt into her mind: well it was a bit too late now for not wanting to go any further.

  She shivered inside her still damp coat.

  They would have to talk and clear things up. The sex had been great, but it mustn’t in any way destroy their relationship. She could not lose Eric.

  “So why don’t you climb back into that bed and wait for him to wake up so you can see how things actually are?” suggested her conscience.

  Because what she feared most was precisely Eric’s reaction when he did wake up. If he had behaved as though he felt guilty or shocked for having allowed his passion to overwhelm him, Zoe wouldn’t have been able to stand it. She would no longer have been able to pretend that it was all just a dream, the way she had been doing.

  She needed to get some fresh air and be on her own for a while before seeing him again in the shop in a couple of hours time. That would be long enough for her to prepare for any eventuality and, at the same time, to clear her head.

  But she couldn’t just disappear without a word.

  She walked over to Eric’s desk, feeling a deep intimacy as she rummaged through his things. The fact that she knew exactly which drawer to open to find a notebook and a pen underlined just how much time she had spent with him in that same room over the years, mostly for work. She had never imagined that she would find herself one day ecstatically rolling around in that bed with him. Let alone after having been carried away by passion on his couch…

  Feeling her clothes almost evaporate on her body, she bent down to write a note on a piece of paper which she then laid on the empty pillow. A pillow that still bore the imprint of her head.

  As she rose again, she found herself staring at Eric through an imaginary viewfinder, studying his features and amazed once again by how handsome he was.

  She had felt such intense pleasure in undressing him the night before, revealing the agile body that had been giving her sleepless nights lately. Making contact with his warm skin had been a shock, but it had been the soft, extremely sensual and yet respectful way that he had touched her the whole time which had been the coup de grace. After the first moments of overwhelming passion, Eric had treated her like a precious jewel yet somehow had still managed to make her burn like a firebrand.

  Making love to him had been like putting on some particularly comfortable, warm clothes only to find that as well as giving you a sense of security and well-being, they also gave you immense pleasure.

  How had she managed not to fall for him all these years?

  She was afraid to answer her own question. Whatever the reason they had not arrived at that point before was, now it would involve a drastic change in their relationship. And given that Eric was the pivot on which so much of her life turned, she wasn’t sure that the change would be for the better.

  She rushed out of the beloved apartment before she broke down in tears.

  *

  While shivering in the bitter cold of the morning, she stood waiting in the street for her taxi to arrive and felt a powerful anxiety growing in her chest. A crazed terror took possession of her, threatening to crush her.

  She had told herself that she was ready to fall in love again, but was it actually true? Eric wasn’t like the stupid pretty boys she’d been dating the last few years, he was a real man – serious, intelligent, caring and honest.

  She couldn’t disappoint him. Just the thought of it was intolerable.

  But she didn’t want to go through what she had gone through with Stuart again either, denying herself and putting up with everything simply to be loved. She knew deep down that Eric would never take advantage of her weaknesses the way her ex had done, but who could guarantee that?

  Did these reflections mean that she was really in love with Eric? Or had it just been some kind of chemical reaction? Might her desperate need not to be alone on Valentine’s Day meant that her feelings had gotten blown out of all proportion?

  No!

  Her mind recoiled at the thought. She had made love to Eric because he – him, Eric himself – had made her want to – not just because he was the only man who’d been available at that particular moment. She had run to him the previous night instead of giving Stuart a second chance or getting to know her mysterious suitor. That had to count for something.

  Eric was essential for her. What mattered now was understanding exactly in what way.

  A few minutes later, the taxi dropped her off at her apartment, where she had a hot shower and put on dry clothes. Before going to the store she looked at herself in the m
irror, and saw that there was something different about her. The confident, sexy woman had vanished, giving way to the confused and fearful girl she had always tried to hide from the world. Eric was the only one who had ever looked behind the mask and found the real Zoe.

  He had an advantage over her… Especially after last night.

  When she finally got to Giftland, she was so agitated at the idea of seeing him again that her hands were shaking. She wished that Clover, the only one she could really talk about the subject with calmly, had been there, but her friend was in Paris and wouldn’t be coming back for a couple of days.

  Liberty, who had arrived early as usual, was there to welcome her inside, and looked fresh and rested as after a long sleep. Her boss had spent a romantic evening which had probably ended with sex too, so why didn’t she look as devastated as Zoe did?

  She went straight behind the counter, took off her jacket and decided to try and pull herself together, breathe slowly and stay calm.

  Hey, she thought – it’s Eric that I’m going to have to face when he eventually turns up, not some heartless monster. Shy as he was, he would probably be even more uncomfortable with the whole thing than she was. She convinced herself that the whole thing would end in a good laugh while Eric’s ears went bright pink, so there was no need to panic.

  “A night of sex, what’s the big deal?” she thought. It probably wouldn’t have any consequences at all. So why did she feel her heart jump in her chest at the thought of it?

  “Are you okay?” asked Liberty, while she fumbled with the coffee machine.

  “I had sex with Eric.”

  Zoe dropped her bombshell, expecting to see Liberty’s eyes go wide and her cup fall to the floor.

  Her friend, however, just shrugged. “About time. It took you longer than I’d predicted, but the timing was perfect. I bet that you don’t hate Valentine’s Day from now on. It’ll always fall on the same day as your anniversary. Isn’t that sweet!”

  Zoe was the one whose eyes grew wide. Fortunately, she had no cup of coffee to drop.