N is for NOOSE

by Sue Grafton

  Saturday night at Tiny’s was a rowdy affair; two alternating live bands, line dancing, contests, whooping, hollering, and much thumping of cowboy boots on the wooden dance floor. There were six waitresses working in a steady progression from the bar to the crowded tables. I spotted Alice with her gaudy orange hair half a room away and I pushed my way through the jostling three-deep bystanders ringing the room. I had to yell to make myself heard. She got the message and pointed toward the ladies’ room. I watched her deliver a sloshing pitcher of beer and six tequila shooters, then collect a fistful of bills that she folded and pushed down the front of her shirt. She angled in my direction, taking orders as she came. The two of us burst into the empty ladies’ room and pushed the door shut. The quiet was remarkable, the noise in the tavern reduced by more than half.

  “Sorry to drag you away,” I said.

  “Are you kidding? I’m thrilled. This is hell on earth. It’s like this most weekends and the tips are shit.” She opened the first stall door and stepped just inside. She took a pack of cigarettes out of her apron pocket. “Keep an eye out for me, would you? I’m not supposed to stop for a smoke, but I can’t help myself.” She shook a cigarette free and fired it up in no time. She inhaled deeply, with a moan of pleasure and relief. “Lord, that’s good. What are you doing here? I thought you went home to wherever it is.”

  “I left. Now I’m back.”

  “That was quick.”

  “Yeah, well I know a lot more now than I did two days ago.”

  “That’s good. More power to you. I hear you’re investigating a murder. Margaret Brine’s father, or that’s the word.”

  “It’s slightly more complicated, but that’s about it. As a matter of fact, I was just at her place, asking about his last visit.”

  Alice snorted. “What a horse’s ass he was. He hustled my butt off, the randy little shit. I pinned his ears back, but he was hard to shake.”

  “Who else did he hustle? Anyone in particular? Margaret tells me he was horny as all get out ���”

  Alice held up a hand. “Mind if I interrupt for a sec? Something I should mention before you go on.”

  I hesitated, alerted by something in her tone. “Sure.”

  Alice studied the tip of her lighted cigarette. “I don’t know how to say this, but people around here seem to be concerned about you.”

  “Why? What’d I do?”

  “That’s what everybody’s asking. Grapevine has it you’re into drugs.”

  “I am not! How ridiculous. That’s ludicrous,” I said.

  “Also, you shot a couple of fellows in cold blood a while back.”

  “I did?” I said, laughing in startlement. “Where’d you hear that?”

  “You never killed anyone?”

  I felt my smile start to fade. “Well, yes, but that was self-defense. Both were killers, coming after me ���”

  Alice cut in. “Look, I didn’t get the details and I don’t really give a shit. I’m willing to believe you, but folks around here take a dim view of it. We don’t like the idea of somebody coming in here starting trouble. We take care of our own.”

  “Alice, I promise. I’ve never shot anyone without provocation. The idea’s repugnant. I swear. Where did this come from?”

  “Who knows? This is something I picked up earlier. I overheard the fellows talking.”

  “This was tonight?”

  “And yesterday some, too. This was shortly after you left. I guess someone did some digging and came up with the facts.”

  “Facts?”

  “Yeah. One guy you killed was hiding in a garbage can ���”

  “That’s bullshit. He wasn’t hiding, I was.”

  “Well, maybe that’s what I heard. You were lying in wait, which somebody pointed out was pretty cowardly. Word is, the most recent incident was three years back. It was in the Santa Teresa papers. Someone saw a copy of the article.”

  “I don’t believe this. What article?”

  Alice drew on her cigarette, regarding me with skepticism. “You weren’t involved in a shoot-out in some lawyer’s office?”

  “The guy was trying to kill me. I just told you that. Talk to the cops if you don’t want to take my word for it.

  “Don’t get so defensive. I’m telling you for your own good. I might’ve done the same thing if I’d been in your place, but this is redneck country. Folks here close ranks. You better watch your step is all I’m saying.”

  “Somebody’s trying to discredit me. That’s what this is about,” I said, hotly.

  “Hey, it’s not up to me. I don’t give a damn. You can whack anyone you want. There’s times I’d do it myself, given half a chance,” she said. “The point is, people are getting pissed. I thought I should warn you before it went too far.”

  “I appreciate that. I wish you could tell me where it’s coming from.”

  Alice shrugged. “That’s the way it is in small towns.”

  “If you remember where the story originated, will you let me know?”

  “Sure thing. In the meantime, I’d avoid crossing paths with the cops if I were you.”

  I felt a pang of anxiety, like an icicle puncturing my chest wall. “What makes you say that?”

  “Tom was a cop. They’re mad as hell.”

  Alice dropped the lighted cigarette in the toilet with a spat and then she flushed the butt away, waving at the air as if she could clear the smoke with a swishing hand. “You want anything else?”

  I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.

  I waited at the side exit, my hands in my pockets though the chill I felt was internally generated. I kept my mind on other things, defending against a mounting surge of uneasiness. Maybe this was why Macon was suddenly being so protective.

  The night sky was overcast, and where the air should have been crystalline, a ground fog began to drift across the darkened parking lot. Two couples left together. One of the women was blind-drunk, laughing boisterously as she staggered across the icy tarmac. Her date had his arm across her shoulders and she leaned against him for support. She stopped in her tracks, held her hand up like a traffic cop, and then turned away to be sick. The other woman leaped backward, shrieking in protest. The ill woman lingered, holding on to a parked car ‘til she was done and could move on.

  The foursome reached their vehicle and piled in, though the sick woman sat sideways with her head hanging out the door for a good five minutes before they were finally able to pull away. I searched the empty rows of cars, checking the dark. The music from the bar behind me was reduced to a series of dull, repetitive thumps. I caught a flash of light and saw a car pull in. I stepped back into the shadows until I was assured it was Macon in his black-and-white. He pulled up beside me and sat there with his engine running. I moved forward, walking around the front of the patrol car to the window on the driver’s side. He rolled it down as I approached.

  “How’d it go?” he asked. I could hear the racket of his car radio dispatcher talking to someone else. He turned the volume down.

  I put a hand on the door. “Alice tells me there’s a rumor going around that I’m some sort of dope-crazed vigilante.”

  He looked off to one side. He stirred restlessly, tapping the steering wheel with his gloved hand. “Don’t worry about gossip. Everybody talks in this town.”

  “Then you heard it, too?”

  “Nobody pays any attention to that stuff.”

  “Not true. Someone went to the trouble to do a background check.”

  “And got what? It’s all bullshit. I don’t believe a word of it.”

  Which meant he’d heard the same stories everyone else had been treated to. “I better see you home. I got a call to check out.”

  I got in my car and he followed me as far as Selma’s driveway, his engine idling while I crossed the front lawn.

  Selma had left the porch light on and my key turned easily in the lock. I waved from the doorway and he took off. I slipped out of my wet shoes a
nd carried them down the hall to the guest room. The house was quiet, not even the murmur of a television set to suggest Selma was awake.

  I slipped into the guest room and closed the door behind me. She’d turned on a bed table lamp and the room was washed in cheery pink. On the nightstand, she’d left me a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies secured in plastic wrap. I ate two, savoring the flavors of butter and vanilla. I ate two more to be polite before I stripped off my jacket. Apparently, Selma was not in the habit of turning down the furnace at night and the room felt close with heat. I crossed to the window, pushed the curtains aside, and raised the sash. Frigid air poured through the gap left by the storm window, still resting against the bushes three feet down.

  I stared out at the portion of the street that I could see. A car passed at a slow speed and I pulled back out of sight, wondering if the occupants had spotted me. I hated being in Nota Lake. I hated being an outsider, the target of local gossip that misrepresented my actions. I hated my suspicions. The thought of a uniform was beginning to make me salivate like a dog subjected to some odd form of Pavlovian conditioning. Where once the badge and the nightstick had been symbols of personal safety, I now found myself picturing them with trepidation, as if stung by electric shocks. If I was right about the guy’s connection to law enforcement, then his was the badge of authority and what was I? Some little pipsqueak P.I. with a prissy sense of justice. Talk about a mismatch.

  Why couldn’t I just hop in my car and barrel home tonight? I needed to be in a place where people cared for me. For a moment, the pull was overpowering. If I left within the hour, I could be in Santa Teresa by four A.M. I pictured my snug platform bed with its blue-and-white quilt, stars visible through the Plexiglas dome overhead. Surely, the sky there would be clear and the air would smell like the Pacific thundering close by. I visualized the morning. Henry would bake cinnamon rolls and we’d have breakfast together. Later I could help him in the yard, where he’d kneel at his flower beds, the pale soles of his feet like something cast in plaster of Paris. I stepped away from the window, effectively breaking the spell. The only road home is through the forest, I thought.

  Within minutes, I’d peeled off my clothes and pulled on the oversized T-shirt I was using as a gown. Usually I sleep nude, but in someone else’s house, it pays to be prepared in case of fire. I washed my face and brushed my teeth with the usual difficulty. I returned to the bedroom and circled restlessly. The bookshelves were filled with knick-knacks. There was not so much as a magazine in view and I’d forgotten to bring a book this time. I was too wired for sleep. I took the file from the duffel and got into bed, adjusting the reading lamp so I could review the notes I’d typed. The only item that leaped out at me was James Tennyson’s report of the woman walking down the road the night Tom died. According to his account, she was approaching from the direction of Tom’s truck and she veered off into the woods when she caught sight of his patrol car. Was he lying about that? Had he invented the woman in an attempt to throw me off? He hadn’t struck me as devious, but the touch would have been nice since it suggested Tom had been in the woman’s company when he was stricken with his fatal heart attack. I wondered what kind of woman would have walked off and left him in the throes of death. Perhaps someone who couldn’t afford to be seen with him. Knowing what I knew of him, I didn’t believe he was having an affair, so if the woman existed, why conceal her presence? I knew he’d been at the Rainbow Cafe at some unaccustomed hour.

  What was interesting was that James had told me about this alleged female as an addendum to his original comments. I tend to be suspicious of elaborations. Eyewitness reports are notoriously unreliable. The story changes each time it’s told, modified for every passing audience; amplified, embellished, until the final version is a twisted variation of the truth. Certainly, the memory is capable of playing tricks. Images can be camouflaged by emotion, popping into view later when the mental film is rewound. Conversely, people sometimes swear to have seen things that were never there at all. For the second time, I wondered if Tom had gone to the Rainbow Cafe to meet someone. I’d asked Nancy about it once, but it might be time to press.

  I set my notes aside and doused the lights. The mattress was soft and seemed to list to one side. The sheets had a satin finish that felt slick to the touch and generated little traction to offset my tendency to slide. The quilted spread was puffy, filled with down. I lay there and basted in my own body heat. In testimony to my constitution, I fell asleep at once.

  I woke to the distant sound of the phone ringing in the kitchen. I thought the answering machine would pick up, but on the eighth persistent ding-a-ling, I flung off the covers and trotted down the hall in my T-shirt and underpants. There was no sign of Selma and the machine had been turned off. I lifted the receiver. “Newquists’ residence.”

  Someone breathed in my ear and then hung up.

  I replaced the receiver and stood there for a moment. Often, someone calling a wrong number will dial the same number twice, convinced the error is yours for not being who they wanted. The silence extended. I reactivated the answering machine, and then checked Selma’s appointment calendar, posted on the refrigerator door. There was nothing marked, but this was Sunday and I remembered her mentioning a visit to a cousin down in Big Pine after church. The dish rack was empty. I opened the dishwasher. I could see that she’d eaten breakfast, rinsed her plate and coffee cup, and left them in the machine, which was otherwise empty. The interior walls of the dishwasher exuded a residual heat and I assumed she’d done a load of dishes first thing this morning before she’d left. The coffee machine was on. The glass carafe held four cups of coffee that smelled as if it had sat too long. I poured myself a mug, adding sufficient milk to offset the scorched flavor.

  I padded back to the guest room, where I brushed my teeth, showered, and dressed, sipping coffee while I girded my loins. I didn’t look forward to another day in this town, but there was nothing for it except to get the job done. Like a dutiful guest, I made my bed, ate the remaining three cookies to fortify myself, and returned the empty coffee mug and plate to the kitchen, where I tucked both in the dishwasher, following Selma’s good example. I grabbed my leather jacket and my shoulder bag, locked the house behind me, and went out to the car. Phyllis was pulling into her driveway two doors down. I waved, convinced she’d spotted me, but she kept her eyes averted and I was left, feeling foolish, with the smile on my lips. I got in the car, forcing myself to focus on the job at hand. The gas gauge was close to E and since I was heading toward the Rainbow, I stopped for gas on my way out of town.

  I pulled up to the full-serve pump and turned the engine off, reaching into my bag to find my wallet and gasoline credit card. I glanced over at the office windows where I could see two attendants in coveralls chatting together by the cash register. Both turned to look at my VW and then resumed their conversation. There were no other cars at the pumps. I waited, but neither came forward to assist me. I turned on the engine and gave the car horn a sharp toot. I waited two minutes more. No action at all. This was annoying. I had places to go and didn’t want to sit here all day, waiting for a lousy tank of gas. I opened the car door and stepped out, peering across the top of the car to the open bay. The two attendants were no longer visible. Irritated, I slammed the car door and moved toward the office, which had been deserted.

  “Hello?” Nothing. “Could I get some service out here?” No one.

  I went back to the car where I waited another minute. Maybe the two lads had inexplicably quit work or had been devoured by extraterrestrials hiding in the gents’. I started the engine and honked sharply, a display of impatience that netted nothing in the way of help. Finally, I pulled out with a little chirp of my tires to demonstrate my agitation. I slid into the flow of traffic on the main street and drove six blocks before I spotted another station. Hahaha, thought I. So much for the competition. I had no credit card for this rival brand, but I could afford to pay cash. Filling a VW never amounts to that mu
ch. I pulled into the second station, doing much as I had before. I turned the engine off, checked my wallet for cash. There was a car at the adjacent pump and the attendant was in the process of removing the nozzle from the tank. He glanced at me briefly and then I saw the alteration in his gaze.

  I said, “Hi. How’re you?”

  He took the other woman’s credit card and disappeared into the office, returning moments later with her receipt on a tray. She signed and took her copy. The two chatted for a moment and then she pulled out. The attendant went back to the office and that was the last I saw of him. What was going on? I checked myself with care, wondering if I’d been rendered invisible in my sleep.

  I stared at the office window and then checked for another service station within range. I could see an off-brand station three doors down. Even with my gauge showing empty, I knew my trusty VW could soldier on for many miles yet, given the mileage I got. Still, I was reluctant to squander the last of a tank of gas looking for a place to buy the next tank of gas. I started my engine, put the car in gear, drove out of that gas station, and into the one two hundred yards away.

  This time I saw an attendant in the service bay and I pulled in there first. Let’s get this out in the open, whatever it was. I leaned over and rolled down the window on the passenger side. Pleasantly, I said, “Hi. Are you open for business?”

  His blank stare sparked a moment of uneasiness. What was wrong with him?

  I tried a smile that didn’t feel right, but was the best I could manage. “Do you speak English? Habla Inglis?” Or something to that effect.

  His return smile was slow and malevolent. “Yeah, lady, I do. Now why don’t you get the fuck out of here? You want service in this town, you’re out of luck.”

  “Sorry,” I said. I shifted my gaze, keeping my expression neutral as I drove out of the station and turned right at the first street. Under my jacket, the sweat was soaking through the back of my shirt.