How to Save the Universe in Ten Easy Steps

by Allison Rushby

  My thoughts stop as the ticking in my head intensifies and every single cell in my body stands to attention, suddenly hyper-aware of … I don’t know what. The feeling starts in my gut. The exact same feeling I had that time with the Ecens and the goldfish and then, the next day, at my party. The same feeling that made me blurt out that it was time to go and get Jack. But this time it’s stronger, much stronger. Now … NOW! I tell him.

  He grabs that repletor thing. But I can’t say what happens next because after that something weird happens. I feel this huge whoosh and my body is pulled towards something incredibly quickly. Kind of like being sucked up by a vacuum cleaner.

  When I open my eyes, I’m lying flat on my back on some very familiar green dirt in the bright sunshine, Jack licking my face. ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,’ he says, between licks. ‘I promise I won’t complain about dog food ever again. Well, not really, but thanks anyway.’

  I shake my head. Am I dreaming? Hale appears above me, next to Jack, blocking out the sky. I open my mouth to speak and realise I can’t breathe. As in, at all.

  ‘It’s all right,’ Hale says. ‘It’s just your lungs. Take small breaths, then slowly build up.’

  ‘And don’t eat any black slugs,’ Jack adds, unnecessarily. ‘Not even if you really, really want to. Not even if they look super tasty.’

  If I thought I was panicking before, it’s nothing to this. I try kind of panting, but it doesn’t work.

  ‘Smaller than that,’ Hale says.

  In a very uncool, see-how-unlikely-I-am-to-save-the-universe sort of way, I begin flapping my hands.

  And then, to make matters worse, Molly shows up.

  ‘What’s going on?’ She stands over me, her expression menacing. ‘Where have you been? Why have you released Jack from integration and …’ She whips around as if she’s sensed something. ‘Why is the storage area unlocked?’

  And I thought breathing was the worst of my problems.

  CHAPTER 21

  I have never seen Molly look quite so furious. ‘I want the truth. Right now. This instant.’

  You know how they talk about people’s faces being ‘puce-coloured’?

  If Hale thinks he’s going to get out of this somehow, he’s wrong, because Jack’s eyes meet Molly’s and her face goes even redder as he tells her the truth, just like she asked for.

  ‘You lied to me! You lied to me about Jack!’ Molly glares at Hale. She is beyond furious. She shoves him in the chest. ‘You never integrated Jack at all. He’s been gone all this time! Taken by the Terlaedians! And you took Cooper right to them! And into the path of the Rewluts! Why would you do that? Why are you really here? Come on, then! Tell me! Tell me!’ She shoves him again.

  Hale takes a step back, looking slightly bemused. ‘Violence! How … human of you, Molly.’

  Molly sucks in a breath.

  And all the time, alone on the ground, I try to take little sips of breath. Because it doesn’t look like I’m going to get any help from any of the fabulously intelligent aliens around here. Sometimes a guy just has to save himself, I guess. I close my eyes and focus hard. Inhale. And exhale. Inhale. And exhale. A little more this time, a little more next time. Until finally I lose that panicky struggling-for-breath feeling. I push myself up and lean on my arms to watch the fight.

  ‘As to what I’m doing here. I’m here to help.’ Hale doesn’t retaliate in any way. ‘You need to believe that and trust me, Molly. I’m here for you. Not to sabotage anything.’

  At first, Molly’s face is kind of blank, like she can’t quite process what he’s saying. But then her expression cracks and she laughs, a huge, loud, fake laugh. ‘You can’t be serious. Trust you? You left!’

  ‘And now I’m here.’

  She laughs again. It’s just as loud and fake as last time. ‘Oh, well then …’ she begins, but stops, whipping around to look at something. All four of us see Dad disappearing into the open door of the storage area under the house. ‘Great!’ She shakes her head and abandons us, running towards him. Within a minute or two, she brings him back out to us. Not surprisingly, he looks a bit dazed and confused and keeps turning his head to look back into the storage area. I don’t think he saw what he was expecting to see in there. Somehow, I manage to get up off the ground as they approach.

  ‘I should have told you, Dad, sorry. It’s a … school project. A … play we’re doing. We’ve been storing things down there.’ She’s a bad liar.

  ‘But,’ Dad glances between Molly and me, ‘how did you get in? It’s locked.’

  Molly laughs nervously. ‘With the key, of course. We’re not toddlers anymore.’

  ‘Oh, right. Well …’ Dad replies, still looking amazingly confused.

  ‘For goodness sake.’ Hale rolls his eyes and Dad’s demeanour changes instantly.

  ‘Ah, so how was school today? This must be the new kid in town I’m hearing so much about. Hale, is it?’

  ‘Yes, sir.’ Hale shakes Dad’s hand.

  ‘Great to see a new face.’ He looks around vaguely, as if he can’t quite remember what he was doing out here. ‘I’m sure I came to get something.’ He laughs. ‘Old age, hey? I’ll remember as soon as I get upstairs!’ And with that he wanders back up to the house.

  What the—?

  Oh.

  The second I turn back to look at Molly, I get what’s just happened. Her face is that funny puce colour again and she’s staring Hale down like nobody’s business.

  Hale changed Dad’s memory of what just happened.

  ‘You shouldn’t have done that,’ Molly spits at him. ‘You had no right!’

  ‘You’re being ridiculous, Molly. It’s better this way. Surely you’ve seen that by now?’

  ‘You don’t understand. You’ll never understand. You can’t just walk in here and start playing with people’s lives. You don’t know them. You don’t know anything about them! They’re human. They’re not like us. Why don’t you just go. Go back to wherever you’ve been all this time.’

  I cough, because my lungs still don’t feel quite right.

  The pair look over at me as if they’ve both just realised I’m still here. ‘Oh, don’t worry about me,’ I tell them. ‘I’ll just sort myself out.’ Cough, cough, cough.

  They both ignore me. ‘You’re not getting rid of me, Molly, so you may as well get used to my presence.’

  For the first time in her life, Molly is speechless. She stands there for a moment or two looking from Hale to me. And then, without saying another word, she stalks off in the direction of the house.

  When we get back to the house, Mum is still so thrilled to see a new face that she invites Hale to stay for dinner. ‘But no Ethan?’ she asks me again, surprised. ‘You know, he hasn’t been around much lately. Is everything okay between you two?’

  I nod quickly. ‘Fine,’ I tell her. ‘I’ve just been … busy.’

  Mum removes her ikebana flower arrangement to the kitchen bench and sits Hale next to Molly at the table, in the hope they’ll make friends (let’s be frank, in the hope Molly makes a friend). All through dinner – it’s okonomiyaki again, a sort of cabbage pancake full of leftovers that Mum likes to make when she’s running out of groceries – while Hale makes pleasant conversation and charms our parents, Molly looks like she would like to spit on her ‘new friend’.

  Meanwhile, care of the Rewluts, it becomes darker and darker until it is definitely too dark for the time of day.

  It’s our little friends, Hale tells me. Don’t worry. Everything will seem normal to your parents. Molly is fine with changing people’s thoughts when it suits her.

  ‘Your dad and I will clear up,’ Mum says when everyone is finished. ‘You three run off and get to know each other better. After all, it’s not every day we see a new face in Peregrination.’ She’s as excited as an overeager puppy.

  I throw Molly a look. Unsurprisingly she doesn’t look happy about more playtime with Hale.

  ‘Goodness. That was q
uick, Hale.’ Mum says. Molly and I turn and see that Hale has somehow managed to clear the table in seconds.

  Molly gives him an absolutely filthy look.

  ‘It’s my job at home,’ Hale says.

  ‘Well, always a spare bed here, son!’ Dad guffaws.

  ‘It was very naughty of you.’ Mum gives him her fake frown. ‘Now, shoo, shoo! All three of you!’

  This time, Hale does as he’s told and leads us away, out towards the backyard once more.

  ‘Sure you don’t want to do the dishes, spring-clean the house and wash the car before everyone blinks again?’ Molly asks Hale as we head down the back steps.

  ‘Why, if you insist.’ Hale chuckles.

  But I barely hear the two of them bickering like the siblings I suppose they are. Instead, I stand on the top step and stare up at where the sky used to be.

  It’s half blue with a light dusting of clouds and half completely black, the black part inching forward in a slurpish sliding motion. Horrified and mesmerised in equal parts, I watch the Rewluts advance ever so slowly across the dome above.

  ‘Cooper?’ Molly calls out from the middle of the backyard. Obviously I have been standing in the one spot for some time.

  ‘Um, right. Coming.’ I hotfoot it down the back steps and over to the pair of them. ‘So now what?’

  ‘Now we enjoy the show!’ Hale lies down on his back on the dirt, crossing his arms beneath his head.

  How can he relax at a time like this?

  After a sigh, Molly does the same.

  I’m not so convinced it’s okay to kick back. ‘Can’t they tell they’re going over something? Something dome-shaped?’ I ask. I mean, these things can’t be that dumb, can they?

  ‘It’s not dome-shaped on the other side of the dome. On the other side is a copy of Peregrination.’

  ‘Right. Of course. I knew that. And they’re not going to crush the dome or anything? They’re not too heavy for it?’

  ‘Oh, I didn’t think of that,’ Hale says. ‘Did you think of that?’ He turns his head to look at Molly in the now half dark.

  Molly doesn’t reply.

  ‘Are you serious?’ Instantly I freak out.

  ‘He’s not serious,’ Molly tells me. ‘Honestly, Cooper. Just lie down, will you?’

  I exhale. ‘Right. It’s okay. I knew you were joking.’

  ‘Of course you did,’ Molly tells me.

  I take this as my cue and shut up, all the time my heart racing as I watch the slugs move forward until there’s no light left whatsoever. Until everything is pitch black.

  And then, just like that, on the other side of the dome, a flicker of light appears. Then a little more, until the sky begins to appear again, though darker now, because it’s almost evening. Proper, natural evening. You can even see a sprinkling of stars between the weird, slimy snail trails the slugs have obviously left behind.

  ‘I’ll leave the slime clean-up to you.’

  I look up to see Hale above me, offering me a mop. ‘What?’ I start.

  Beside me, Molly laughs, then stops herself, obviously not wanting to applaud Hale’s joke.

  ‘Only joking, as you would say,’ he replies, and the mop disappears once more.

  ‘Dessert anyone?’ Mum calls from the back deck.

  ‘An excellent idea.’ Hale makes for the house. ‘I do so love chocolate ice-cream with my slug slime.’

  Hale downs two bowls, with topping and sprinkles, without any of the qualms about nutrition that Molly has, then thanks my parents and tells them he really needs to be getting back home now.

  ‘It was so lovely having you, Hale,’ my mother gushes at my new ‘friend’. ‘Please come again. You’re always welcome.’

  Molly doesn’t second this statement.

  Molly and I tell Mum and Dad we’ll show Hale out and head down the hallway with him. On our way to the front door, I touch the lucky crack as I pass by and Molly groans.

  ‘Interesting.’ Hale watches my retreating hand.

  ‘Don’t think I haven’t tried to stop him,’ Molly says. ‘It’s ridiculous. A ridiculous superstition.’ She turns and leaves without saying goodbye to Hale.

  In front of Hale, I shrug. ‘I can’t help it. It’s like I’ve got to do it.’

  Hale simply nods as if he understands. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He turns to leave as well.

  ‘Um, hello?!’ I say, making him stop in his tracks. He turns back to me.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Well, do we have some kind of plan happening? Are the Rewlut slug things coming back? Or the Ecens? Or the Terlaedians themselves?’ I can’t get that needle out of my mind.

  ‘I’m sure I have no idea,’ Hale says, not looking in the least bit worried.

  ‘What do you mean?’ I blurt. He’s got to be joking, right? He’s not seriously a subscriber to Molly’s we’ll-just-turn-up-on-the-day-and-it’ll-be-fine plan, is he? The one where I completely wing it and save the universe?

  ‘There is no plan,’ Hale replies. ‘There is only the right place and the right time and you.’

  ‘So, that’s a no on the plan thing …’ I try again. Just to make sure.

  ‘No plan,’ Hale says, way too cheerily. And, with that, he starts off down the steps.

  CHAPTER 22

  When I get up the next morning, everything seems … well, kind of normal, really. I’m not complaining – a normal day has been hard to come by lately. I throw down some cereal and Molly forces me to go swimming with her again, even though I seriously doubt whether my fitness is going to save the universe.

  Anyway, so far, so good.

  We get to school and everything remains ‘normal’, for a while, anyway. Halfway through the second lesson of the day, I find myself standing up beside my desk, with Hale and Molly beside me.

  That wouldn’t be so weird, except that I’m also still sitting at my desk doing a comprehension test. I look over to where Hale was sitting before and there he is – also still sitting at his desk. So is a second Molly, who seems unaware that anything strange is happening at all.

  ‘Um, care to explain?’ I ask the pair of them, my eyes fixed upon myself. And, let me tell you, it’s really freaky watching yourself sit a test that you’re not actually sitting. Though I could get used to it pretty fast. Having another me sit my test, I mean, not watching myself. Nobody likes comprehension tests.

  Hale turns to me. ‘I was listening to your thoughts the other day about your mother. About the cherry blossoms.’

  ‘So was I,’ Molly says. ‘And we had a … discussion about it just now.’

  By the expression on her face, I take this to mean they had an argument. Another one.

  ‘Oh,’ I say, trying to remember exactly what I’d thought. I think it was mostly about how Mum had always wanted to see the cherry blossoms in Japan so badly and that we’d tried to go a couple of times, but couldn’t. Because we were stuck in Peregrination. Because of me. I think I might have also been sort of angry with Molly. For lying. For giving us this faker than fake existence.

  Hale interrupts my thoughts. ‘I thought we could take a little trip.’

  ‘A trip?’ I frown slightly. ‘To where?’

  ‘To see the cherry blossoms. We could take your mother.’

  I look from one of them to the other. Something weird is going on here. Apart from there being six of us. Why are they agreeing to do something? I don’t get it. Still, Mum would love to see the cherry blossoms. ‘Um, okay,’ I say, slowly. ‘But you can’t mean going to Earth, can you? Isn’t that dangerous? Aren’t there people, or aliens, or whatever, looking for us there?’

  ‘Oh, no,’ Hale says. ‘I’d construct a little … replica, as you’d call it. Though I’d make your mother think she had been on a plane, stayed in a hotel, all that sort of thing. It would all be very real for her. I simply thought that it might make you feel a little more comfortable about being stuck in Peregrination with its lack of …’ I can see he wants to say ‘lack of everyt
hing’, but is too polite.

  ‘But if you can make her think she’d been on a plane and—’

  Hale cuts in. ‘Complex memories are a little more difficult. Smell, taste, touch and so on. If you want her to enjoy everything in detail then she must truly live the experience.’

  ‘Is it really okay?’ I turn to Molly.

  She nods, though she doesn’t seem all that enthused.

  Now that is weird. I haven’t a clue what’s going on here, but if they’re both fine about it … I shrug. ‘All right, then.’

  ‘Excellent,’ Hale nods. ‘Now, your mother won’t be able to see me, but she’ll be able to see you. I’ll concoct a little story. Just go along with it and you’ll be fine.’

  ‘You’re not coming too?’ I ask Molly.

  Molly shakes her head. ‘I’ll be there, but you won’t be able to see me either. This is for you and Mum. All right?’

  ‘Um, sure,’ I say. ‘I guess.’ After all, it’s not like anything could go wrong (ha ha ha).

  ‘Oh, I can’t believe we’re finally here,’ Mum sucks her breath in, her hand to her chest. ‘Thank goodness you went in for that competition!’ She turns in a full circle, drinking in her surroundings as it hits me I’m not in the classroom anymore, but standing on a gravel path. Below us is what looks like a small canal. Above us, white and soft pink cherry blossoms stir in the rising breeze. A few drift down onto the water and form a raft of flowers. After the stark surrounds of Peregrination, it’s the most jaw-droppingly beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. ‘There are so many people!’ Mum laughs. ‘Kyoto isn’t anything like Peregrination, is it?’