And for the second time in less than an hour, she was kissed on the head and had to watch a man she loved walk away from her.
* * *
“I was just getting ready to call you.”
Riley laughed out loud. “Because we’re twins! I told you, it’s totally a thing! We’re completely in tune with one another.”
Owen rolled his eyes and settled in. “I’m not doing this with you right now.”
“Oh, lighten up. You’re just upset because you can’t disprove this. We’re freakishly in sync with one another.”
“Then how come it’s been three weeks and we haven’t synced up? Explain that.”
“Simple. We both wanted to talk. We both tried to get in touch with the other, but sometimes things get in the way. I can’t explain how the universe works—that’s your deal.”
“Being busy has nothing to do with the universe,” Owen argued, but his heart wasn’t into it, and he let the rest of his argument go unsaid.
Riley was silent for a moment too. “I did want to talk to you before now, you know.”
“I know.”
“You never did that before.”
“Did what?”
“Stood up to me and then walked away. It felt… I didn’t like it.”
Owen smirked. “Yeah, it wasn’t quite as satisfying as I thought it would be.”
“Then let’s not do that again.”
“Riley—”
“Okay, look. I get it. I was…I was a complete ass and completely out of line. I was a little bent out of shape, and…I took it out on you.”
“What were you… What did you call it? Bent out of shape? Why?”
“You and I talk all the time. All. The. Time. Even when I was on tour or you were traveling and lecturing, we made the time. We tell each other everything. And then you didn’t.”
Damn. Owen didn’t need his brother to clarify. He knew exactly what he was referring to. “It wasn’t intentional.”
“I know. I get that now. But at the time, it wasn’t quite so clear.”
There were so many questions in Owen’s mind that he wanted to ask, things he needed to know, but all that came out was “You hurt me, Riley.”
Silence, then, “I know. I’m sorry. I don’t have an excuse—I wish I did.”
“Do you think so little of me that it’s inconceivable that a beautiful woman would want to date me?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“It kind of is. You said she was out of my league.”
Riley muttered a curse. “Dude, she’s…she was… You’ve never dated anyone like her. I was just surprised.”
“No, you were rude and insulting,” Owen corrected. “Not that it matters.”
“Why? What happened? Are you still dating?”
“For now.”
“Okay, it’s a good thing I have the rest of the day free because we’re not getting off the phone until you tell me everything. And I’m serious. I have nothing else to do. Savannah’s out shopping with her parents, and I’ve got a fully stocked refrigerator to keep me going. The ball’s in your court.”
“Well, damn.”
Riley burst out laughing. “Did you just curse?”
“I do that from time to time.”
“Maybe Brooke isn’t so wrong for you.”
And then it was as if the dam broke. Owen started talking, and no matter how much he wanted to stop—to let Riley comment or say something—he couldn’t. He shared about her brother’s suicide, her fear of the dark, and her “projects” with helping socially awkward kids and how he was feeling like he was now one of those projects.
When Owen finally finished, he was breathless. He rested his head on the back of the sofa and closed his eyes, feeling like he’d run a marathon.
“Wow.”
Owen couldn’t muster a response.
“Am I allowed to say something now?”
“Sure,” Owen replied quietly.
“First off, you’re an idiot.”
That had him sitting straight up. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You’re an idiot. For a guy with such a high IQ, it’s a bit shocking how your brain works sometimes.”
Raking a hand through his hair, Owen struggled for a quick comeback. But he wasn’t fast enough because Riley started talking again.
“So this beautiful woman who, according to you and the girls, is also incredibly sweet and humble—”
“Wait. What girls?”
“Our girls,” Riley said. “Zoe, Aubrey, Anna, Darcy, and Savannah. I got an earful from all of them after you left Quinn’s that day.”
“Oh.”
“As I was saying…you think the way she deals with her grief over losing her brother is somehow related to her relationship with you. Do I have that right?”
“Maybe…” When worded like that, Owen was no longer sure.
“Can I say something without coming off as being a complete womanizing jackass?”
“I don’t know, can you?”
“Ha-ha. Very funny. You’re getting a bit of a snarky sense of humor,” Riley quipped. “I like it.”
“Riley…”
“Okay, here’s the thing. I’ve met a lot of women in my life. I’ve been involved with a lot of women in my life.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it,” Owen murmured.
“No, you don’t,” Riley quickly corrected. “I’ve met all kinds of women, Bro. I’ve dated women who were with me because they liked me and ones who liked the persona and the fame of who I am. They’re fairly easy to spot—especially to the people around you. I’ll admit that I got hurt a time or two because I didn’t want to see the signs, and believe me, everyone was pointing them out to me.”
“So…”
Riley growled a little with frustration. “Look, maybe I’m not making sense here, but…bottom line? Brooke’s clearly not that kind of woman. The girls all figured that out, and the more I thought about it, I knew they were right. And after everything you just told me, it all fits.”
“What fits?”
“Dude, you’re seriously not this clueless, are you?”
“I don’t—”
“I can’t say with any great certainty because I’m not there and I don’t know Brooke like you do. But here’s the thing—maybe her heart was in that place when her uncle mentioned working with you. Maybe she did see it as a chance to do something helpful for someone who shared some common traits with her brother. But as for her turning that into a romantic relationship—a sexual one—for the sake of being a good Samaritan? No way. You’re wrong.”
“But what if—”
“You’re wrong,” Riley said firmly. “Have you tried talking to her about it?”
“And say what? That I hope I’m not just one of her projects? That I applaud her dedication to the cause of helping socially awkward nerds everywhere?”
“Nerds? Did you just use that word? What are you, twelve?”
“What else would you call me?”
“Um…brilliant. Genius. Loyal. Amazing. Talented. Gifted.” Riley paused. “Was that enough, or do you want more?”
“Be serious.”
“I am serious, and you’ve got to get over this complex you have.”
“It’s not a complex. Not really.”
“Okay, then you need to get over this insecurity. You’re not that shy kid anymore. You’re a successful and well-respected scientist. It’s time you owned it.”
Own it? Owen wasn’t even sure what that meant. “I know who I am, Riley.”
“I don’t think you do.”
Owen sighed wearily. Sometimes talking to his brother was beyond frustrating. “Believe me, I do. I know my strengths, and I know my shortcomings. There are far more shortcomings.”
&n
bsp; “Then you don’t know who you are,” Riley stated. “Because from where I’m sitting, you’re pretty freaking impressive. You speak to students all over the country.”
“So? You perform in front of tens of thousands of people.”
“It’s not the same thing. I stand on a stage, and I have the band right up there with me. I’m not engaging one-on-one. I’m singing to the masses. I’m playing a part. But what you do? You go up and stand in front of these classes—sometimes a hundred or more students at a time, right?—and you engage them. Sometimes one-on-one. You make a difference in their lives.”
“So do you, Ry. Everyone knows who you are. Everyone sings along with you.”
“You know what, yes. People know me, and they sing my songs, but you? You change lives. What you do every single day helps the next generation of scientists. Right now some kid is looking through his telescope and wondering about why the stars are shining in the sky, and it’s because of you he’ll be able to learn that.”
“Not exactly.”
“The research you do and the lectures you give? That helps, Owen. Don’t second-guess yourself. And don’t second-guess yourself with Brooke. Talk to her about what you’re feeling. Communication is key in any relationship but especially in a romantic one. I chose to walk away from Savannah rather than talk to her if you remember correctly. And what good did it do? We were both miserable, and it was time together that we lost.”
“Even if I talk to her, knowing Brooke she’ll downplay the whole thing. And then I’ll let it go because I won’t want to argue with her about it. But in the back of my mind, it’s always going to be there. I’m always going to wonder if…”
“If you’re nothing more to her than a project?”
“Exactly.”
“Then don’t be one.”
“What?”
Riley sighed loudly and spoke more succinctly. “You don’t want to be a project, then stop. Acting. Like. One.”
“Okay, repeating the words louder and slower isn’t helping. And I’m not acting like a project.”
“You kind of are. You’re insecure about this trip, and that tells people you lack confidence and therefore need help.”
“That’s not what I’m—”
“It’s exactly what you’re doing. You can deny it all you want, but it’s how people see it. I don’t agree with it, and I don’t like it for you, but…it is what it is.”
“So what am I supposed to do? Just stop being insecure?”
“Yup.”
Owen jumped to his feet and began to pace. “Don’t you think if it was that easy I would have done it already? Do you think I enjoy being like this?”
“You must, or you would have made some attempt at changing,” Riley said.
“I have!” Owen cried out. “I went to Vegas, rode in a helicopter, camped out, and made love in a tent under the stars! I gambled, and I stood up for Darcy against this giant of a man who could have snapped me like a twig! Believe me, I have made more than my share of attempts to change! And you know what? Why should I? For my entire life, you’ve all told me there’s nothing wrong with me. And yet now you’re sitting here telling me I need to change? Which is it, Riley? What the hell am I supposed to do? Which guy am I supposed to be?”
“You’re supposed to be you. Just…you with some confidence. Believe in who you are. You’re a rock star, Bro. No different than me—just in a different field.”
Owen gave a mirthless laugh and collapsed back down on the couch. “Hardly.”
“It’s true. Or don’t you remember what Mom used to call us?”
The quick squeeze of his heart almost made him gasp as he began to smile. “Superman and Clark Kent,” he replied.
“We’re the same, Owen. You’re just my mild-mannered alter ego.”
“I wouldn’t have minded wearing the cape a time or two.”
Riley laughed. “Nah…too much pressure. Trust me. It’s not so great to have the eyes of the world on you. I’d love to be behind the scenes and just be able to live my life. Especially now, with a baby on the way.”
And just like that, the subject changed, and Owen felt good about it. This was who they were and how it was supposed to be. They talked about anything and everything, and it was always comforting when his mega-famous brother was able to show his more human and down-to-earth side. It was special to him mainly because it was something Riley didn’t show to many people.
They talked so long that Owen had room service bring up his dinner while Riley prepared his own, and then they switched to Skype and ate dinner together. They talked about their family and all of the babies and how their brothers were all handling fatherhood. Conversation flowed from one topic to another, and through it all, they laughed and encouraged, and more importantly…they forgave.
* * *
It was after eleven when they finally hung up, and Owen felt completely at peace. He knew what he had to do, and although it didn’t make him happy, he knew it was the only way he could move forward.
Standing, he collected his dinner tray, put it outside in the hall for housekeeping to pick up, and then quietly closed the door. There was paperwork he needed to do, but he was too relaxed to do it. He moved around the room—closing the curtains, turning down the bed—and then stripped down to his boxers and turned off all but one light before grabbing his iPad and sitting on the bed.
He contemplated calling Brooke, but it was late, and even though he knew she would be awake, he had been talking for hours and was relishing the quiet.
It was probably better for them not to talk. Not tonight. Besides being completely talked out, he felt…raw. His emotions had been put through the ringer during his conversation with Riley. Not that it was a bad thing—they had cleared the air, and Owen felt good about it. All of the other topics—especially their family and specifically their mother—were doing Owen in at the moment.
He swiped the tablet screen, tapped on the photo app, and immediately pulled up a picture of Lillian Shaughnessy. So young. So happy. So beautiful. Closing his eyes, Owen inhaled deeply and swore he could smell her perfume. Leaning back against the pillows, he swallowed hard, telling himself not to cry.
“It’s not fair.”
“What’s not fair, sweetheart?”
“Just once I want to wear the cape,” Owen said with a pout. “All the time Riley gets to wear it, and he doesn’t share. You always tell us to share.”
Lillian looked at her far-too-serious child and smiled, smoothing a hand over his hair. “Why do you want to wear the cape so bad?”
“Because that would make me Superman. I want to be Superman! Why can’t Riley be Clark Kent for once?”
She stood, walked over to the pantry, pulled out a plastic container, and placed it on the kitchen table in front of Owen before taking the lid off. Oatmeal raisin cookies. Then she poured him a glass of milk and placed it next to him before taking her seat.
“Do you know why Superman is so great?” she asked, taking a cookie and breaking it in half. She handed one half to Owen and then took a small bite of her own half.
“Of course,” Owen replied, examining the cookie in his hand. “His superpowers. He has superhuman strength and speed, X-ray vision, superhuman hearing, heat vision, he can fly, and he has superbreath! Did you know that? It’s like freeze breath!”
With a smile, Lillian said, “Wow! That is a lot!”
Owen put the cookie down and rested his face in his hand. “Exactly. And Riley gets to do all of it.”
“Does he?” Lillian asked lightly. “I don’t see him flying around the house, and he certainly doesn’t have superhuman hearing or he’d be in here trying to get some of these cookies.”
He looked at her and seemed to consider her words. At age seven, he knew he put a lot of pressure on himself to think things through before acting on them. No one els
e did, but it made him feel better. “But he has the cape—”
“It’s just part of the costume. You and I both know Riley can’t fly. He can sing like an angel, but he can’t fly, baby.” She gently ruffled his hair. “Now you, my sweet boy, you have superpowers that no one else has and you don’t need a costume to bring out.”
His eyes went wide as he turned in his seat to look at her. “I do?”
She nodded. “You sure do!”
“What? What is it? What’s my superpower?”
She studied him for a moment. “You have the ability to see into the sky and talk to the stars,” she said softly. “They twinkle just for you, you know.”
He blushed but couldn’t help but smile. “Mom—”
Lillian nodded, and her expression sobered. “It’s true. You are the smartest boy I know, and when you put your mind to something, you can make it happen. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day, the planets all lined up just because you told them to.”
“I don’t think so. But I wouldn’t mind seeing a bunch of shooting stars or a meteor shower,” he said with wonder. “That would be cool.”
“Ooh…I would like that too. We’ll have to do some research and find out where and when we can see them.”
“You can’t get a schedule for shooting stars, Mom,” he said with a giggle and then picked up his cookie and took a bite. “But maybe we can see about a meteor shower.” He paused. “We’d probably have to stay up all night and camp out.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do.”
“Really? You promise?”
She nodded. “And I’ll tell you what, not only will we stay up all night and camp out, but I’ll get you your very own superhero cape.”
“You will?”
She nodded again. “Even though I think you are the perfect Clark Kent, especially when you wear your glasses. You’re very handsome.”
He blushed again. “Mom—”
“Come on,” she whispered, leaning in close and kissing his cheek. “Let’s sneak a few more cookies before anyone else realizes we have them.”
No one made oatmeal raisin cookies like his mom.
And they never did get to camp out and see a meteor shower. Life had always gotten in the way, and there’d never been the time.
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