Never More

by Dana Marie Bell

  He nodded. “That begins the process.” He tipped her face up and kissed her softly, stopping her when she tried to take it deeper. “The next step involves something a little more…intimate, remember?”

  Her heart began to beat faster. “I’m still not sure about hiding your jalapeño in my…enchilada.” Ugh. I’m losing my touch if that’s the best I can do.

  “Mm-hm.” Raven didn’t seem to notice her horrible joke. The little butterfly kisses, barely there brushes of his lips against hers, continued driving her insane. “We won’t bond that way until you’re ready. I won’t force anything on you sexually. I give you my word on that.”

  The way he said it, the determination that lit his eyes, had her leaning back. “What happened?” She kept her tone soft, brushing her fingertips over his cheek.

  There was a hardness to his expression she hadn’t seen before, a pain that went deeper than the physical. “Just know that you will always be safe with me.”

  She nodded, more for his sake than her own. She’d ask Robin about her suspicions if Raven didn’t come clean.

  Someone Raven loved had been violated. Someone he cared for so deeply he was willing to make promises like that. “I believe you.”

  “Thank you.” He smiled again, his expression easing immediately. He kissed her fingertips before pulling her close once more. “You said we don’t know each other well enough to bond. I’d like to rectify that.” That green circle near his pupil widened, nearly swallowing the blue. “My favorite color is black.”

  “No, really?” She chuckled when he shrugged. “Mine is blue.”

  “My second favorite.” Another tiny kiss. “Rock and roll.”

  “Ditto.” This time, she kissed him. It was almost too cute, the way he was trying to learn about her likes and dislikes while revealing his own. “Mums.”

  “Hmm. Roses.” The kiss went a little deeper this time. “Favorite food?”

  She giggled. “Mexican.”

  “Of course.” He tucked a loose bit of her hair behind her ear. “Mine’s Italian.”

  “Family?”

  He grimaced. “Dead, other than Robin and some siblings who soon will be.”

  “Huh?” She leaned back, wondering if she’d heard him right. “You’re going to kill your brothers and sisters?”

  “More like they’re going to try and kill me and I’m going to defend myself. If they leave me alone, I’ll leave them alone.”

  “Damn. That’s…”

  “Cold?” He shrugged again, but she could tell the nonchalance was forced. “It’s how the Black Court works. Only the strongest survive there for long. The weakest become playthings of the elite. Power speaks, money talks, and corruption runs rampant.”

  “Sounds like Congress.”

  “The fae make Congress look like a preschool fight.” He toyed with her fingers, refusing to meet her eyes. “Favorite bird?”

  Sneaky bastard. “Cardinals. They’re so bright and cheerful.”

  He gagged.

  “Let me guess. Ravens?”

  “You were expecting me to say chickens?” He pushed her down onto the straw as she laughed.

  “I could totally see you as the Chicken Lord.” On his worst day, maybe. Or for Halloween.

  “Not even on a bet.”

  “Colonel Sanders would be jealous.”

  He blew a raspberry against her neck in retaliation, causing her to squirm and giggle like some teenage girl being teased by her crush.

  He shuddered above her, pulling away slightly. The blue was completely gone from his eyes, leaving them a bright green. “Um. Maybe you shouldn’t do that.”

  “Oh.” His expression was one of pain. “Did I hurt you?”

  One brow went up, and his hips thrust against her. “Only in a delicate area.”

  Her bad boy was packin’ some heat down there. Amanda grinned and slid her hand over his hip. “Liked that, huh?”

  Some dark feathers joined the black locks of his hair. “Just a little.”

  She touched those dark feathers, the feel of silky hair mixed with the stiffer plumage tantalizing her senses. The soft light in the barn glinted off the feathers, turning them black, purple and blue. The dance of colors was dazzling. “So pretty.”

  He tilted his face down and…

  Charmed her completely. “Oh my God. You’re blushing.”

  “Shut it.” He kissed her, his tongue tangling with hers, his lips demanding she respond with the same amount of desire that he obviously had for her.

  Amanda had no problem meeting that demand. She responded, wrapping her arms around his waist, kissing him for all she was worth. Bad boy, goth boy, Raven Lord, it didn’t matter.

  She’d called him beautiful, and he’d blushed. How adorable was that?

  His fingertips brushed against the skin of her waist, inching her sweater up her body. He slowly unzipped her jacket, giving him access to the rest of her. And still, that amazing kiss went on and on, barely interrupted by flesh meeting flesh.

  When his hands were right below her breasts she reached up, burying her fingers in his hair. The feathers in the back of his hair were stiffer than the feathery, downy ones toward the front, but that just drove home to her the dichotomy of the man himself. Harsh and beautiful, soft and protective, he was turning out to be everything she really did need and hadn’t known existed in one human being.

  The fact that he wasn’t human at all still bothered her, but she was willing to let that go. He’d been upfront from the start with her, telling her exactly what was going on. She didn’t want to be some mushroom, stuck in the dark and fed bullshit for the rest of her life, especially when it came to something as important as the fact that her lover wasn’t Homo sapiens.

  Raven groaned and ended the kiss, but before she could do something stupid like beg for his mouth he began kissing and sucking on the side of her neck. Amanda tilted her head, allowing him better access as his hands drifted upward, cupping her breasts for the first time.

  The man sure knew how to use his hands. Despite the barrier of her bra, she could feel every caress, every brush of his fingers. He made no move to take things further, simply kissing the fuck out of her and touching her. She was the one who started reaching for his belt, eager to touch the man in any way he’d allow.

  He grabbed hold of her hand and ended the kiss. His expression was pained, his eyes shut tight. “We’re not going that far, remember?”

  Her brain kicked back in. “Because once we have sex—”

  “That’s it. It’s forever, for both of us.” He shivered hard and opened his eyes. They were still green, still glowing brightly. “And I don’t know if you understand what that means.”

  “You’ve explained it to me, goth boy. We have sex, we bond.”

  “And you live as long as I do.” He kissed her fingers. “If one of us dies, so does the other. A truebond is literally for life and beyond.”

  “How long do fae live?” She began to toy with his hair again, curiosity overcoming the heat of their earlier kiss. The intimacy of their position only added to the overall feeling that they were sharing something meant only for them.

  “Depends on the fae. Since I’m half sylph, half…Robin, I could live the typical four to six hundred years that the sylph do, or a hell of a lot longer than that.” He chuckled. “I think my father remembers when they invented dirt.”

  “So you could live to infinity?”

  “Yes.”

  She whistled softly. “I’m…wow.”

  “And that’s why I stopped you.” He ground up against her with a groan. “Never, for an instant, think I don’t want you. I do. I’m going to kick my own ass later for stopping this, but…”

  “Shh.” She kissed him softly. “You know what?”

  “What?”

  “Keep this up,
and you’re totally getting laid.”

  He laughed, the sound deep and rich, running through her like a warm breeze.

  Liam got out of his rental car and stared at the farmhouse. “C’mon, Red. You only live once.”

  “Says you. I plan on living many, many times.”

  Liam grinned and spun, picking up the tiny little mate of Robin Goodfellow. “Michaela!”

  She giggled brightly as he spun her. “Red!”

  He bussed her on the cheek and set her back on her feet. “How are you today, my lady?”

  “Better now you’re here.” Her grin lit up her face, taking her from pretty to stunning. “Robin’s been waiting for you.”

  “Oh?” Liam eyed the house now with something close to trepidation.

  “Don’t worry, you’re not on the clock. Not as far as I know, anyway.” Michaela placed her arm on his and began pulling him toward the house. “C’mon, I want to introduce you to my family.”

  She was wrong about that. Robin was waiting for him because he was very much on the clock. “I’d love to.”

  Liam allowed Michaela to tug him up the front steps. Honestly, unless he dropped his Seeming, odds were good she was stronger than he was. As a Tuatha Dé Danann, she might be stronger than he was either way, but he wasn’t willing to put that to the test, even jokingly. He liked Michaela, but he loved Robin as a father.

  “Red.” Robin stepped out of the front door, looking impeccable as always. Liam felt like the techno-geek he was in his worn T-shirt, jeans and canvas sneakers.

  Liam smiled and adjusted his black-rimmed glasses. “Hob.” Robin threw his arms wide, and Liam embraced him. “Congratulations. Nothing could make me happier than being here right now.” Even if, deep inside, he was trembling with the need to get his hands on something, anything, with Internet access.

  “Of course you are.” Robin’s laughing tone told Liam he hadn’t fooled the head Blade one little bit. “How bad?”

  “Bad.” He shot Robin a look and handed over a file. “Take a look.”

  Robin opened the file and glanced at the picture inside. “Lady Ernestina Solano.” He read the report from the High King’s coroner, a hobgoblin who’d trained at a human medical school. “Interesting.”

  Li nodded. That was one word for it. She, too, had been decapitated by a single sword stroke. No phone calls, no Internet activity, no signs of broken entry. Nothing to indicate a killer, other than a single black feather hidden behind a desk, as if blown there. “Yeah. And guess who’s getting the blame?”

  Robin stepped back and clapped him on the shoulder. “I’m certain you can finagle your way into the Dunnes’ network,” he said, watching one of Michaela’s brothers inch closer to them.

  “Just call me the little gremlin that could.”

  Robin gestured for Liam to precede him into the house. “I don’t believe you’ve had the pleasure of meeting the Dunnes, my friend.”

  Nope. He’d seen plenty about them online, in places not even Robin could access, but he’d never met them in person. Come to think of it, he’d never really met anyone in Robin’s life. He’d met the occasional Blade when Robin brought one of his operatives to Liam’s lair, but the people Robin loved? Those were kept secret, and safe, even from each other. Only the High King had the honor of Robin’s public attentions, and not one single person who knew Robin could fault that.

  Liam took a deep breath and stepped into the warm chaos that was the Dunne farm, hoping he wasn’t about to make a complete fool of himself, and not just because he wanted to impress Robin.

  Nope. He had another agenda, one he wasn’t sure Robin would approve of if he knew. And it had to do with the pretty little sister of Robin’s truebond, Melissa Exton.

  Robin’s voice whispered in his ear, though the man leaned no closer to him. “You, Raven and I shall investigate what you’ve found so far.”

  Li nodded. Of course he would. He’d do anything for Robin. He cracked his knuckles, smiling at the amused look Robin sent him.

  Li would kill to protect those Robin claimed as his. They were, after all, the only family Li would ever have.

  Immortality. Who the fuck didn’t want immortality? And a hot guy willing to do you whenever you wished?

  Amanda walked around the Dunne farm, wondering if she was crazy or not. Because she wasn’t at all certain she was meant to be immortal. And that was why she was here, alone, wandering around blindly while she tried to sort out her feelings.

  The man kissed like a dream. He promised the world. But Amanda had been burned before, and Raven had the ability to annihilate her already. Her heart was already engaged. Already she looked to the horizon for a sight of black wings, for a footfall that was distinctly his. His scent was forever embedded in her mind, his touch was craved.

  She barely knew him, but he was growing on her.

  She huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, like a wart.”

  Damn it. Now she was talking to herself. Worse, she was doing it out loud, where anyone could hear her.

  She glanced around.

  If anyone was there, that was.

  Ah, damn it. Now she was losing her damn mind.

  One of Raven’s feathers drifted over her shoulder. “You shouldn’t talk to yourself. People might think you’re crazy.”

  Amanda stood stock-still. “I hate you right now.”

  “Do you?”

  She glanced behind her to find him standing about five feet away. How he’d done that, when she hadn’t seen a single sign that he was anywhere near her, made her crazy. “How did you do that?”

  He winked. “Magic.”

  She rolled her eyes and started walking again. “I’m having some trouble with something.”

  “Oh?” That fast, he was by her side, holding her hand. “Anything I can do to help?”

  She nodded. “How can I have feelings for you so quickly?”

  That wasn’t what she’d meant to say at all. She was going to ask about the whole immortality thing, but she’d opened her mouth and her real concern had popped out before she could stop it.

  He shrugged. “I think it has to do with being my truebond. Think about it. Robin and Michaela bonded within days of meeting each other. Leo and Ruby danced around each other for a while, but once they kissed it was over for both of them. It’s that way with all the fae. The fact that you’re human is the only reason you’re questioning it.”

  “But bonding shouldn’t be insta-love.” In that, she was certain.

  “No, it’s not. It’s a jump-start, yes, but I can say that, while I’m drawn to you and always will be, I’m not in love with you quite yet.” He lifted her hand to his lips. “I will be though. Give it time, Amanda. You’re just learning about all of this. That’s all I’m asking for.”

  She nodded. “I know. You’ve made that more than clear, and I’m thanking you for that.”

  He sighed. “Do you trust Ruby?”

  “More than anyone.”

  “Then talk to her. See what she has to say. Of all of us here, she’s the only other human. She knows what you’re going through.”

  “Good point, and I was going to do that after my walk.” She looked down at the ground. “I don’t know how I feel about being immortal, either.”

  He put his arm around her shoulder. “Is there anyone you’ll miss when they’re gone?”

  She shook her head. “I’m not close to my parents, and I was an only child. They didn’t like that I chose the career I did, or that I didn’t care what they thought. They raised me to be independent, then tried to take that independence away.” Not even Ruby knew all of the details of what had driven the wedge between Amanda and her parents, but the one time she’d tried to reconcile with them, showing up on their doorstep with fresh baked cookies, they’d called the cops on her for trespassing.

  Never again. Ama
nda wrote her parents out of her life after that, and hadn’t regretted it since. She’d held out the olive branch and had it burned away in her hands.

  The cookies had been good though.

  “Any friends you’ll miss?”

  She thought about it, blinking in surprise. “All of the ones I care about are here.”

  She walked for a while in silence, simply enjoying the quiet and the man beside her. It wasn’t often since she’d left her parents’ house that day that she felt unsure, but since meeting Raven it was happening more and more.

  “I can feel you thinking.” Raven tugged on her hand, gently halting her. “Let me shoulder some of it. I’m strong enough to fight your demons.”

  She snorted, amused. “I think you have enough demons of your own without adding mine to them.”

  He tilted his head, the gesture oddly birdlike. “Then let’s share them. I’ll give you mine, you give me yours. I’ll slay them, you plan the party afterward.”

  She gazed at him in disbelief. “An Irish wake?”

  “Exactly.”

  She shook her head. “You’re nuts.” She kissed his cheek, feeling much better than she had when she’d started her little self-exploratory journey. “I like that about you.”

  “Thanks.” He took her in his arms and lifted into the air. “I actually came out to tell you that I have to run some errands with Robin and Li, but that I’ll be back in time for dinner.”

  “Are you going to try on tuxes, or are you going demon-slaying?” She clung to him for dear life, trying to ignore the fact that she was ten feet off the ground and moving at what felt like Mach ten.

  “The latter.” He pushed her head against his shoulder. “You’re safe. Trust me. Please.”

  She sighed and tried to let go of her fear. “Promise?”

  “With everything I am.”

  Amanda lifted her head, stared into his eyes and finally let go of the fear.

  Chapter Ten

  “We don’t have much time.” Robin strode into the death scene, gaze darting around, assessing everything. “We don’t want to be late for dinner.”