Mail Order Rose (Mail Order Brides #1)

by Cabot, Cara

  Though it was a sunny day, it seemed darker with the cover of the trees, and cooler, too. Finally, David stopped. He was staring at the ground in front of them. Rose was puzzled but then she looked down to see what he was staring and a shiver went down her spine as she gasped, covering her hand with her mouth.

  On the ground were two grave markers, one was a gravestone in the shape of a cross bearing the name Sarah Webb Thompson, who, judging from the dates on the stone, had died when she was only twenty-one. The second stone was flat and bore the name David John Thompson Jr., only a year old when he died...the same death date as Sarah.

  Rose looked from the gravestones up to David. “I had no idea these were here. Who are they?”

  “Sarah was my first wife, baby Davey was our son,” he said, choking back tears.

  Rose didn't say anything, she was in shock trying to absorb this news. David composed himself and went on. “Sarah and I were married back in Michigan. She came out here with me and then gave birth to our son. By the next fall, they both were dead. Scarlet fever. I thought my life was over. To lose them both was more than I could bear.”

  “Oh, David, I'm so sorry! I had no idea.” Rose couldn't believe what she was hearing. He was married before. Another woman had shared his bed. It was all starting to make sense now. The sewing machine she'd found...David didn't buy it for her, it had been Sarah's. And the crib....it had been his son's. She could feel the hair on her arms and the back of her neck stand on end.

  “Why didn't you tell me?” she asked him.

  “Well, when I'd first written the ad up for a mail order bride, I stated in it that I was a widower. But I hated the word, I couldn't call myself that, the very word is just full of grief and pain. I had walked a long journey of healing to get to where I was, to be open to love again and 'widower' wasn't the word I wanted to use. Then when you got here, I figured you were nervous enough without having to learn that I'd had another wife, that she lived here, died here and is buried here. I just thought I'd wait til the right time. Then when you opened up to me, I knew that right time was now.”

  Rose felt a sting of embarrassment as she thought of her own heartbreak, what had happened to her had been painful but she was keenly aware that it was nothing to the grief that David had lived through only a couple of years ago. Her childish heartbreak seemed silly and petty compared to this.

  “I'm glad that you shared with me,” Rose said. “I feel so silly, crying about an unfaithful beau when you lost your whole family. You must think me to be a foolish child.”

  David turned towards her, eyes full of compassion. “That is not what I think of you at all. Your pain is real, just as real as mine was. Like I told you when we were inside, I want to help you through this. You are strong and you will get through.

  He squeezed her hand and looked down at the stones again. “When I lost Sarah and Davey, it felt like my whole world fell apart. I wasn't living, just existing. I didn't want to live without them- and I was angry at God for taking away everything that was important to me. Why did he have to take them both?”

  Rose's eyes welled with tears as she listened to him tell his story.

  “I had so much anger, rage and hatred built up inside me,” he said. “I couldn't even think straight. I was angry not only at God but at the Martinsons, too.”

  “The Martinsons?” Rose asked. She remembered the name, it was a neighboring farm family, she had met them the day of her wedding, they'd been guests at the church. But she had no idea why David would've had anger towards them.

  “Charlie Martinson came to our farm one night, frantic and begging for help. His wife, Tillie and their girls had scarlet fever. He was exhausted and didn't know who to turn to. There were no doctors in town yet, and people came to Sarah often when they needed healing. Her father was a doctor and she'd learned a lot from him. Every woman in town who was having a baby would call for Sarah to be with them at the birthing. She had a big herb garden and knew so much about how to use them for just about everything that ailed a person. It's no wonder that Charlie came for her. She went without even hesitating, without a worry for her own safety.”

  He was getting choked up again and stopped for a moment to collect himself.

  “She nursed Tillie and the girls back to health, staying there while I took care of Davey. The day she came back, I saw it on her face-she was very sick. I tried to do what she told me to do, I tried everything, but I was losing her and I knew it. Then Davey got sick. Watching them both so sick, knowing they were slipping away from me...it was more than I could bear, I thought. I tried to remember that the Lord only gives you what can handle. And Sarah was a good woman, a good mother, I didn't think God would take her from me. She was so young. And Davey, too...” He stopped, giving in to his tears now.

  Rose's tears were flowing down her cheeks. What a horrible tragedy. Poor David!

  “It wasn't fair. I'd done everything right, I was a good man and wondered how God could be so cruel. I hated the Martinsons because I held them responsible for my loss. It wasn't fair that Charlie's wife and girls were still alive, thanks to my Sarah, yet my family was gone. Digging their graves was the hardest thing I've had to do in my whole life. I spent my days in a fog of anger, my nights drinking. I didn't care about the farm, I didn't care about anything. I was contemplating suicide, as I didn't think I had anything left to live for.

  One night after a heavy episode of drinking at the saloon in town, I blacked out. Then next thing I knew, I woke up at the boarding house. Gus had dragged me out of the saloon, unbeknownst to me and he and Emma basically saved my life. I stayed there to sober up and they helped me to find my faith when I needed it most. They prayed with me, prayed for me, and helped to share the burden of the pain I was carrying. I came to realize that turning my back on God and blaming him for my loss was the worst choice to make. That's when I needed him most. It by turning back to God and through prayer that I began my journey to heal. I had to have faith in God's plan for my life. I realized that my wife and son were in the best place to be, in paradise, and that I'd see them again someday. But in the meantime, God still had plans for me here. I learned to forgive the Martinsons and forgive God. That was a huge part of my healing. The anger I had built up was released and the forgiveness brought me peace.”

  He looked up at Rose again and smiled through his tears. “Eventually I got to the point in my life that I knew God's plan for me was to have a family to share the farm with, to be a husband and father and enjoy life. I never take it for granted, Rose. Every day is a gift. And you were a gift. God's sending you to me was part of his plan for me. I want to be there for you, to help you heal like Gus and Emma did for me. To help you find your faith again. Faith will get you through this, my beautiful Rose.”

  Rose felt ashamed. After all he'd been through, and he wanted to help her through the pain that now seemed a much lighter burden than before she heard David's story.

  “As hard as it might be, you need to forgive Grant and Isabel. The anger and pain you hold inside, it is only hurting you, not them. And until you find forgiveness, it will destroy you. Have faith in God's plan for you. Grant wasn't your plan, Rose. He brought you to me. I don't believe in coincidences, I believe that things happen to us, the good and the bad, to teach us lessons.”

  He wrapped his arms around her and she let her tears fall, sad for the both of them, but also, feeling safe in his arms and for the first time in a long time-she felt hopeful. If he could get over his heartbreaking tragedy, she had hope that she could do it, too.

  ***

  The day that her and David opened up to each other was a turning point for Rose's life on the farm. She woke up each day, busy with her work not just as a distraction, but she took joy and delight in it, knowing she was working hard at keeping their home. David prayed with her and they read the Bible everyday. Rose was embarrassed that she'd always referred to herself as a Christian when she'd never read the Bible. She didn't know much about it other than the
stories she'd learned in Sunday School. Oh, how she wished she'd have read it sooner! How could she have lived this long without it's wonderful lessons, it's comfort and wisdom? She couldn't thank David enough for sharing his faith with her. He wanted her to write to her parents right away, to let them know where she was and that she was safe. She told him she would, but just needed a little more time. She wasn't ready quite yet.

  The next couple months she and David became closer. She'd let her guard down and realized that despite her efforts, she was falling in love with her husband. And she loved falling in love. She gave herself to him fully, without guilt, enjoying their tender nights together. She no longer cried herself to sleep facing away from him, but turned to him, letting him hold her in his arms as they fell asleep.

  She was able to bring herself to forgive Grant and Isabel in her heart, and David had been right, the feeling of freedom that came with that forgiveness was like a huge weight lifted off of her heart. She even felt sorry for Isabel, the choices she made in life were based out of her own anger and hate; what a horrible burden she must have carried in life, if only Rose could share her faith with Isabel. Someday, she thought.

  Harvest time kept them busier than ever, and David taught her all of the things they had to do to get ready for winter. She was so proud of him and would stare at him in wonder that she should have been so lucky. What if she would have answered an ad to the rancher from Colorado instead? But she didn't. She remembered back to the day she saw the ad. She answered David's because her instincts told her that he was a good man. She thought back to what David had said about there being no coincidences and smiled. How blessed was she to be David's wife! She didn't have a doubt that he was God's plan for her.

  That is, until one sunny, fall day when she was canning a late crop from her garden. She heard a wagon rolling up the road and looked out the window to see it was Emma Cooper. Emma had been out a couple times to visit and Rose had enjoyed their time together. She had never opened up to her about what had made her leave, she kept that between her and David and wanted it to stay in her past.

  Rose dried her hands and went out to meet her. This visit was an unexpected one. Emma had been at the dry goods store and saw that an order for fabric that Rose had placed had come in, so she thought she'd use it as an excuse to pay Rose a visit. Rose had ordered the fabric to make herself a couple of work dresses. She always felt overdressed working on the farm in the fine dresses she'd brought from home, even if she did cover them with an apron. Emma unloaded the fabric and had also brought along a peach pie to share, knowing it was Rose's favorite. Rose put on some coffee as Emma sliced the pie and went on with her usual happy chatter about what was happening in town. She told Rose she seemed much happier than her last visit and hoped the place felt like home to her know.

  “Oh and I almost forgot, I have this for you too,” Emma said as she handed Rose a letter. “I was at the post office this morning and Hattie gave me this, it was addressed for you. I see that it's from your hometown, must be news from your folks. I told Hattie I'd take it out to you today, so you could get it sooner, I'm sure it's nice to hear from family. I know I try to write my own brother and sisters every week if I get time, there's been a lot of boarders here since it's harvest season...” Emma's chattering went on but Rose didn't hear it. She was frozen, looking down at the letter in her hands, addressed to Rose Greenlee Thompson. There was no name on the return address, which was from Springfield. But Rose didn't need to see a name. She'd know that handwriting anywhere. That letter was from Grant.

  She politely declined Emma's suggestion to open it then and there, not wanting Emma to see whatever he'd written her. She told Emma she'd read it later and shoved it on her lap. And the whole time Emma sat visiting with her, Rose tried her best to be polite and follow the conversation, but her mind was on the letter in her lap. How did he know where she was? How did he know what her new name was? What did he want? So many questions raced through her head as her palms got sweaty and her heart beat rapidly in her chest.

  “Rose? Rose?”

  Rose looked up at Emma, startled. Emma must have asked her a question and was now looking at her with concern. “Did you hear what I asked you? You don't look very well, sweetie, are you feeling okay? And you barely touched your pie,that's not like you.”

  “I'm..I'm fine. Just feeling a little dizzy that's all.” Rose was telling the truth, she was feeling like the room was spinning around her.

  “Oh no, can I get you anything? Should I go get David?”

  “No, I don't want to scare him. I'll be fine, it's going away already.”

  Emma looked at her cautiously. “Are you sure? I'm going to get back to the boarding house so you can get a rest, I've talked your ear off for enough time already today. I'll leave the rest of the pie for you and David to finish tonight,” she stopped abruptly, her eyes lighting up as an idea was forming.

  “Rose?” she asked with excitement in her voice, “Do you think you could be...” she paused and whispered, “expecting?”

  Rose nodded her head as if Emma was on to something. Rose was sure she wasn't pregnant but couldn't admit the real reason she was not feeling well. She played along with Emma's suspicions. “Emma, I didn't even think of that, you might be on to something. If it turns out that I am, you will be the first to know. Well, after David, of course.” They both laughed and Emma looked as happy as if she herself were pregnant. Rose felt bad for fibbing to her but this wasn't the time to unload the truth about her past and she was desperate to find out what was in that letter.

  She let Emma lead her to the parlor to lay down and then said good-bye to her and thanked her for bringing her the fabric, the letter and the delicious pie. Once she heard Emma's wagon long gone down the road out from the farm she sat upright, adrenaline pumping through her. Her hands were shaking as she once again glanced at the address on the outside-written in Grant's own handwriting.

  For a fleeting moment before she opened it, she thought maybe it would be best if she didn't open it-just destroy it. She could tear it up and put it in the stove. But she was too curious, and worried that possibly something had happened to her family. If something had happened to them while she was away and they couldn't get in touch with her, she wouldn't be able to forgive herself.

  She stopped debating with herself and tore the envelope open, pulling out the letter it contained.

  The letter, too, was written by Grant. She tried to hold the letter steady in her shaking hands. It read:

  Dearest Rose,

  I'm sure it's quite a shock to you that I was able to track you down. It took awhile but I was finally able to figure out where you've been hiding (thanks to a little help from Louisa). Do not worry, your secret is safe with me until you want to let the rest of your family in on it, too. They've been quite worried about you and await a letter from you to arrive.

  I'm sure it's also quite a shock to you that I should write to you at all. The last time I saw you was at the engagement party at your house. I only wish I would've had the chance to speak to you then.

  But now I can speak to you freely, as I am no longer betrothed to Isabel. There was an accident, she took a fall and, though she is fine otherwise, she suffered a miscarriage.

  Now before you think me even more of a cad than I'm sure you already do, please know that it was not I who broke off the engagement, but Isabel. Without you around to torment and with no baby to come, she had little use for me and was soon in the arms of a number of other suitors, who were more than eager to receive her favors. I curse the day I ever met her.

  I was only too happy to part ways with her, for, in your heart, you know that it is you that I love. You had to know that it's always been you, Rose. Being away from you, thinking that I had to spend the rest of my life with another woman, it was torture for me.

  Louisa told me what she knew of your whereabouts and had remembered the name of the husband who bought you. Can you imagine my torment that a stranger, some brute, h
ad bought my beloved Rose as if she were a sack of flour or a horse for heaven's sake. But I am writing to you to tell you that it's not too late my darling, I will come and save you from your predicament. We can run away together, my dearest, anywhere you want to go. We can start fresh, a new life together. Remember our happy days of planning our future together? We can still have that future, my dearest!

  There is a road that runs east of Middleton to Harper's Falls. About three quarters of the way is a covered bridge over the river. On afternoon of Friday the 20th, I will be waiting for you in the bridge. Find a way to get away from your home and meet me there and I will take you away to start our life together. Don't worry about packing anything, I'll buy you whatever you want my dearest.

  If you do not wish to go with me, that is your right, and I will respect your wishes. If I do not see or hear word from you by 4 o'clock, I will leave without you. But I hope that is not to be the case, for I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, Rose.

  Yours,

  Grant

  Rose had to read the letter several times before it began to sink in. It was hard to wrap her head around, she couldn't believe what she was reading. For so long this was what she had dreamed about-Grant coming back to her. Of course, not that Isabel would have a miscarriage, the loss of any baby saddened her, but the thought that Grant was hers again, she couldn't believe it. Then she stopped herself as a wave of nausea swept over her. David. She was in love with David, and just as she thought she had forgotten Grant, he was back. Not only was he back, but he had made plans for them to be together again. And Friday the 20th! That was only a few days away!

  She was feeling dizzy again. Suddenly she heard David in the barn and knew he'd be coming in soon. She ran upstairs and hid the letter in her drawer. Why now? Her life was looking up, she was happy on the farm, in love with her husband and growing in her faith every day. Was that it? Was this a test of her faith?