Penthouse of pleasure - uncertain desire (German Edition)

by Blue, A. J.

  “Kate?” he shouts again.

  “I’m in the bath,” I tell him reluctantly.

  I hear determined steps approaching and a few seconds later Marcus’s head peeks through the door.

  “Is everything alright?” he wants to know.

  “I’m fine,” I mumble. “And you? Did you have enough time for yourself?”

  “Why do you always have to be so flippant,” he sighs and sits down on the edge of the tub. “I simply don’t like discussing my past. Can’t you understand that?”

  “I can, actually,” I back down. “It’s okay. And thanks for still telling me a bit more about yourself!”

  Marcus shrugs. “Let’s just change the subject. I just got a call to inform me that one of my charity projects isn’t going so well. I’m flying to Tunisia tomorrow and I still need some things from my own apartment. That’s why I’ll be sleeping there tonight. Shame about our movie evening. But more than likely I’ll be back as soon as Tuesday. And Alex is expected back on Monday. That means from tomorrow on you’ll be on your own with Liam for a few days. I guess you are happy now!“ He eyes me critically, waiting for my reaction.

  But I don’t let him see how glad I am about the news when I quickly dive into the foam.

  Excellent! Some problems just solve themselves. Now I’ll have enough time tomorrow to meet Nicole and don’t have to think of an excuse for Marcus.

  I’m so delighted, I even manage to ignore his stupid comment: That means from tomorrow on you’ll be on your own with Liam for a few days. I guess you are happy now! Could Marcus be jealous of Liam? Or is he just putting on his macho act? I’m better of not knowing. It would get even more complicated if I start analyzing my roomies‘ strange interpersonal relationships.

  Snorting, I re-emerge from the water. “Pity you have to leave,” I say, trying to sound as if I mean it.

  “Right.” He doesn’t seem convinced. “I’ll be back in a bit to say goodbye.”

  Before he walks out of the bathroom, he turns around once more and gazes at me imperviously through slit-like eyes.

  Phew, I think. I really have to learn how to control my facial expressions. I hope Marcus didn’t notice how glad I am to spend some time on my own with Liam. Liam is far less demanding than he is. And I’m into having sex with Liam. Sure, I also have fun with Marcus, but it’s less complicated with Liam. And the ideas he has when we’re making love are so imaginative and incredibly erotic.

  After Marcus has left the apartment, I put on my sweatpants and a comfortable top and decide to watch TV. It feels strange being alone in this place, but also quite restful. I pour myself a glass of red wine and root around the kitchen for some candy. The spoils aren’t great. My roomies seem to be extremely diet-conscious. All I find is a bar of dark chocolate in one of the drawers and the spray cream in the fridge. I grab the chocolate and the wine, sit down in front of the TV and channel-surf. One of the stations is showing a rerun of Apartment 23. I love that series. I’m particularly fond of Chloe. Sometimes I’d like to be just as cocky and blatant as she is. But I’d say I’m more like June, her roommate, although I’m definitely not as naive. Those two ladies‘ living arrangements are also pretty special. But not as special as ours. In the episode I’m watching right now, Chloe is snooping through June’s private stuff.

  Which gives me the idea to do a little snooping myself and take a closer look at the guys‘ rooms. Who knows when I’ll get an opportunity like this again.

  I drain my glass, put it down and start with Marcus’s room.

  I’m reminded of my childhood when I rummaged through my parents‘ closets looking for Christmas presents. I like those butterflies in my stomach and the joyous anticipation of stumbling across something exciting. I was an extremely nosy child and I haven’t changed in that department. And I’m not really doing anything forbidden, or am I? After our first night together, when I asked Liam if Alex and Marcus also had hidden sextoys in their rooms, he more or less invited me to go see for myself. That’s what I’m doing now.

  Curious, I inspect Marcus’s room. His taste in furnishings is markedly different to Liam’s. Liam is into dark colors and expensive looking furniture. His room is quite elegant, but also a tad somber.

  Marcus’s, on the other hand, looks more like a mixture of surfer den, gym and yoga room. There’s no bed. Instead he’s a tatami-mat floor with a mattress in the middle. On the right is a large bookshelf with volumes about yoga, athletics and surfing and some illustrated books about Africa. At the back of the room is some complicated looking exercise equipment. A surfboard is leaning beside the door and the walls are decorated with various photographs of Marcus surfing. No writing desk. Marcus appears to work on the floor. There are some documents and office materials strewn across the mats. If there’s anything interesting hidden in Marcus’s room, it’s presumably in the large white wardrobe.

  Eagerly, I open the door and whistle appreciatively through my teeth. As higgledy-piggledy as Marcus’s room might seem, his closet is perfectly organized. Shirts, pants, jackets – everything‘s tidily sorted and accurately folded. All his clothes look casual and sporty.

  As an amateur psychologist I would say that his room reflects his character. Mad into sports, exercise and slightly chaotic, he’s still somehow looking for order in his life.

  Unfortunately, I don’t come across anything interesting in his closet. That leaves the drawers. I pull out the top one to reveal neatly folded underwear and socks. The underwear is sexy enough but not all that exciting. I close the drawer again and get busy with the next one.

  Ha! What’s that? This looks a lot more promising. The entire drawer is full of toys. Bingo!

  I pick up a pink jar and read: ‘Strawberry flavored lubricant’. I unscrew the lid, dip my index finger in the slimy substance and taste it. Not bad!

  The label on the next jar says ‘Prolong Delay Gel’. Does it make you last longer? I didn’t even know there was such a thing. “

  Way out, I think, pick up a small white box and open it carefully. What’s that? Peppermint bonbons? I extract a small package insert from the box and read: ‘OraloMint for more intensive oral pleasure’.

  Mint bonbons during oral sex? Doesn’t that burn like hell? I’ve never considered using bonbons for that purpose. But who knows. Definitely worth a try. I pull the drawer out a little more. Marcus is pretty well equipped, to give him his due. Dildos in various sizes and colorful condoms, handcuffs and a blindfold. Sexy! I wouldn’t mind trying some of these things with one of the boys. But there’s nobody here, of course. Pity!

  With a sigh, I tidy everything away again and head for the next room. Let’s see what Alex may be hiding. I’m slowly starting to enjoy myself.

  It’s locked! Alex has locked his room. In wise foresight? Maybe he’s scared I’ll snitch one of his compositions. A while ago, when I was briefly inside his room, I spotted a grand piano. Perhaps he works here sometimes. There was no need for him to lock his door; I know about as much about composing as a maybug does about fly-fishing. I can’t even read sheet music.

  What a shame. I would have loved to inspect the contents of his closets. Does he also have a selection of toys? And if yes, what kind of toys?

  I find it extremely difficult to gage Alex. I haven’t yet spent enough time with him. Our date was very intensive, but definitely too short. Perhaps there will be a chance of getting to know him better next week. I believe I’ll get along just fine with Alex. I like his pleasant and calm manner.

  On my way to Liam’s room I quickly glance into the ‘playroom’. But I see nothing apart from the mats on the floor and a few hooks on the walls. Seems that the men bring their toys in ‘as required’.

  Oh, Liam, I think, back in his room. I’m holding the shirt he wore when he slept beside me and sniff it. It still smells of him; a mixture of earthy perfume and his own body odor. I love that smell. It’s so incredibly sexy!

  I know Liam’s room quite well at this stage, but I haven’t
examined his wardrobe and the drawers yet. I catch up with that now.

  Liam’s closet is also neatly organized. His taste in clothes, however, is clearly different to Marcus’s style. Liam owns a lot of shirts and suits and not much casual gear. I guess he frequently drives straight to business meetings from here. But the black lacquered nightstand beside his bed makes up for the lack of anything unusual in his closet. Apart from various penis sleeves and diverse feathers I remember from my first time with him, he also has a selection of dildos in different sizes. But where does he keep his electronic gadgets? There must be more. I walk over to his desk and glance over the office papers. Nothing out of the ordinary here either, just some business files. I keep looking.

  Ha! There it is. Looks like the door of a built-in wardrobe. It’s painted in the same light gray as the walls. That’s why I must have missed it before. Curious, I push against the door, hoping it has one of those modern trigger mechanisms and it will open. There’s no lock or handle.

  I get lucky. The door obliges with a quiet clicking sound.

  Surprised, I whistle through my teeth.

  Behind the door is a smaller room with shelves piled with various objects.

  What the heck is this? It looks like a sex toy depot.

  Oh, my God!

  I’ve never seen some of the things.

  This one here for instance. I study the small, conical object in my hand. Perhaps some kind of anal toy? I feel a little reassured by the fact that I don’t spot any nasty torture instruments or similar implements. Sure, he has a few sets of handcuffs and ropes, but no whips, nipple clamps or masks.

  Phew. Thank God!

  But his electronic toys are something else. I see various vibro- eggs amongst other things.

  No, I shake my head and close the room again. I don’t really want to know what all that stuff is. I’ll let him surprise me. I love Liam’s way of rattling me with his toys. Let him continue just like that.

  I go to bed and snooze a little. I want to be rested when I meet Nicole tomorrow afternoon and see Liam again in the evening. Tomorrow promises to be exciting...

  43

  Saturday afternoon. I’m sitting in the subway and try to read to pass the time. But I can’t really concentrate. I’ve already read that last sentence ten times over. It’s not as if the book is taxing. My thoughts are just elsewhere. I can’t think about anything but the imminent meeting with Nicole. Fifteen more minutes and I’ll be at the agreed venue.

  Before I set out of, I checked my emails again. She didn’t cancel. Hopefully she’ll show up so.

  I can’t wait to see what she’s like. How does she look? Very pretty, I bet.

  I stifle a yawn. I didn’t sleep very well last night. I had a pretty wild dream featuring a chase and an orgy. My subconscious seems to have problems with my new life and to work through it all in my dreams. I don’t blame it. My new life really is quite strange.

  The subway stops and I get off. The art museum is right opposite the train station on the other side of the road. I can see the café from here. It’s on the first floor of the building and accessible from the street as well as the museum. A large glass front provides someone sitting right at the window with a perfect overview. Without a doubt, that’s where Nicole is sitting, watching out for me, if she’s already arrived. I would do the same. I squint my eyes and try to spot a pretty woman sitting at a table by herself. But the café is too far away and I’m blinded by the sun, so I can’t really see a thing.

  With one of my hands, I shield my eyes from the sun and cross the road. And then I suddenly recognize her: a pretty, young woman with long auburn hair sitting on her own, staring intently out the window. It must be Nicole!

  Spontaneously, I wave to her. She reacts immediately with a jerk.

  Definitely Nicole! Jesus, she’s a bundle of nerves. Let’s just hope she doesn’t abscond through the back exit.

  I walk over to the café as fast as I can. I’m nearly tempted to run, but manage to stop myself. I’m not going to achieve anything if I attract the other people’s attention and Nicole does a runner. This is my one chance.

  A little out of breath, I step into the place and look for her. Only a few of the tables are occupied. Most people must still be visiting the museum. I heave a sigh of relief when I see the auburn-haired woman still at her table by the window.

  Relax, Kate, I think and walk towards her.

  The closer I get, the more I frown. From a distance Nicole looked very pretty and well groomed, but up close her clothes seem just carelessly thrown together. The green sweater clashes badly with her olive-colored pants and her hair could do with a wash. When she looks up at me, I see dark rings under her eyes. What the hell happened to her, I wonder.

  “Nicole?” I ask.

  She nods. “Hi!” Her voice sounds tired. “Won’t you sit down?” She points to a vacant chair.

  I sit down opposite her, glad that she doesn’t make a move to shake hands, because my hands are sweaty and trembling with all the excitement. I place them firmly on my thighs so Nicole doesn’t notice.

  “Thanks for coming,” I start.

  “My therapist advised me against it, but I couldn’t help myself. I just had to meet you.” Her voice is so quiet, I find it difficult to hear her properly.

  “Your therapist?” I sound a little out of breath.

  ”Yes, my therapist. I called her after our conversation. She didn’t consider it wise for me to see you. But I had to.” Nervously, she pushes some stray hair from her face.

  I stare at her, baffled. What’s this all about? “You told her about me?” I ask.

  “Of course!” she replies as if that went without saying. “Don’t worry, she’s professionally obliged to maintain clients’ confidentiality.”

  “Please forgive my directness,” I hesitate, “but why are you in therapy?”

  For a few seconds, she doesn’t say anything and just stares at her feet. “I’m a sex addict and suffer from severe depression!”

  Jesus Christ, I think. The woman is totally off her rocker.

  “I agreed to move into the penthouse because I thought the experience might cure me. But everything only got a lot worse since then,” she whispers and sounds as if she’s about to burst into tears. “Those men are evil! First they give you everything and then they drop you like a hot potato.”

  “But you knew that your time with them would be limited,” I observe.

  For the first time, she looks straight at me. “How long do you live in the apartment?” she wants to know while she continues to look right into my eyes.

  “A week,” I say cautiously.

  “Ha!” she smirks. “You have no idea what you’re talking about so. I’ve thought about it a lot and I believe that the men always operate in a similar way. The first week they’re rarely all home at the same time and one of them looks after you more than the others. Who is it with you? Alex? Or Liam?”

  I stare at her slightly dumbfounded. Does she actually believe the guys have a set schedule?

  “I’ve not seen much of Alex. I like Liam a lot, but Marcus is the one who is at home the most,” I tell her.

  Funnily enough she seems to be happy with my answer. I detect a hint of a smile on her face. For one short moment she looks really pretty. But nearly instantly she’s all gloomy again.

  I wonder what she was thinking about. It nearly seems as if she’s glad that I haven’t spent much time with Alex yet. Why?

  A waiter comes over to take our order. We briefly interrupt our bizarre conversation. I order a latte macchiato and Nicole a glass of rosé. “I need some alcohol right now,” she says.

  We wait until our drinks arrive before we continue the conversation.

  “With me it was Alex,” Nicole says. “During the first week I spent a lot of time with him. They poison you really slowly!”

  “I believe that whoever is at home takes care of the woman. I don’t think they have a system,” I tell her and then ask her o
ne of the questions that interest me the most: “You replied to one of their ads, didn’t you? What motivated you to do that?”

  “You’ve no idea what it’s like being a sex addict,” she informs me and nervously nibbles at her napkin. You continuously feel an inner void you can’t fill. That emptiness makes you try more and more extreme things. That’s why I’m always on the lookout for offbeat adventures. The ad spoke to me directly. The moment I try something new, the emptiness disappears for a short while. That’s what happened when I lived in the penthouse. It had been a long time since I had felt as well as I did in my four weeks with Marcus, Liam and Alex. But then everything was worse than before. Much worse! It’s been five months and I’ve still not gotten over it. I sleep badly, have hardly any appetite and feel even emptier than ever before. I miss the men, especially Alex. I miss him a lot! I don’t know what to do anymore. If it wasn’t for my therapist, who knows, I may have topped myself by now.”

  Nicole’s words shock me. It seems as if she’s seriously fallen in love with Alex. I remember our short date and his intensive kiss. Just one afternoon with him was already slightly disturbing – I can easily imagine that the sensitive Nicole was like putty in his hands.

  How mean!

  The boys should have realized that there’s something wrong with Nicole.

  Suddenly, I feel sorry for her. “Couldn’t you still continue seeing Alex?”

  “Don’t you think I tried? He wasn’t interested in me any more after I moved out. None of them were. You have no idea how influential those men are. If you break their rules, they destroy you! They must never find out that we met! I’m only here to warn you. You should move out immediately. Before it’s too late!”

  I’m torn. On the one hand I believe there’s a grain of truth in what Nicole told me. On the other she strikes me as extremely volatile. She’s worked herself up about something and involuntarily fell in love. Besides, she appears to suffer from paranoia. How could the men possibly harm me? Right, I’ve signed a contract, but it’s not as if that’s a legally binding document. It’s only there for the sexual stimulus, or is it?