Deep Burn

by Abigail Davies

  I stepped toward the door but was halted by Aleste’s hand on my arm. “Shoes off first.”

  “Right,” I choked out, pushing my boots off my feet.

  The door swung open, but Elodie didn’t look up, not until I was crouched down next to her. “Fuck, sweetheart.” Her gaze met mine, her eyes glassy with tears threatening to fall. “I’ve never seen anything like that before.” A lump formed in my throat, one I wasn’t sure would ever disappear. “You were…electric, fascinating, amazing.” I couldn’t help but reach for her, and as soon as my palm whispered over her cheek, a tear fell.

  “I needed to let it all out,” she choked. “I had to get rid of it.”

  “I get it,” I told her, letting my ass drop to the floor. I opened my legs, pulled her toward me, then cocooned her in my arms. Her hand grabbed my T-shirt, holding on as tight as she could. We sat there, in the middle of the floor for what felt like seconds…hours. I didn’t want to move an inch, scared I’d tilt the balance we’d created.

  “I missed it,” she whispered. I tilted my head down as she looked up at me, the torment in her eyes replaced with fascination. “I missed dancing.”

  “I could tell.” I ran the palm of my hand over her head, pushing some sweaty strands off her face. “This was the next step.” As I said the words, I realized how true they were. She still had more steps to take, but this one…this one was a huge leap she’d needed to do on her own.

  Chapter Twelve

  ELODIE

  I stared down the mostly empty hallway as nerves thrashed through my body at high speed. I’d made it this far, but now I was frozen to the spot, too scared to take another step inside the school. It had been nearly three months since I’d last walked through these halls. Three months of pain. Three months of healing. Yet, I felt just as broken as I did back then.

  I’d driven into school early, so I didn’t have to put up with the stares from the other students. I’d figured it would ease me back into it, which was why I’d forgone the ride Asher said he’d give me. I had to face this without him there for me to fall back on, and now I was regretting that decision. I should have just let him bring me to school and begged him to stay with me.

  “Elodie,” a voice said from behind me, and I closed my eyes in relief. “I’ll walk you to your locker.”

  I swallowed, opened my eyes back up, then turned to face Leo. I wasn’t alone here. I had my only real friend, and although he was several years younger than me, he provided a comfort I hadn’t known I’d needed. “Thank you,” I croaked out.

  My legs were stiff as I walked beside him down the hallway. Students were starting to file inside the building, and I could feel their stares burning a hole in me. I couldn’t help but wonder what they thought about me. Did they believe the lies Knox was sure to have told them? Of course they did. He was the popular guy in school, the one who could do no wrong, not in their eyes anyway.

  Whispers echoed the closer to my locker I got, and when I finally made it there, it felt like I’d run a marathon. “Thanks, Leo.”

  He leaned against the locker next to mine as my shaky hands reached for the lock. I didn’t know why I was opening my locker because it wasn’t as if I was going to come back here throughout the day. But it felt like the right thing to do—the normal thing to do. Everyone else was gathering their things, so I was trying to follow suit, trying to mix in with the masses, but I wasn’t doing a very good job of it. I may as well have had a neon arrow above my head.

  I pulled my backpack off and opened up the zip, staring inside it and wondering what the hell I was doing. I should have stayed home. I should have just settled for getting my GED and been done with it.

  “You’re doing good,” Leo murmured, low enough so only I could hear him.

  “Am I?” I asked, moving my gaze to meet his eyes. “Because it doesn’t feel like it.”

  He smiled, the same smile all the Easton men did. “You’d never know.” His attention slid away from mine for a second and he stood to his full height. He’d had a growth spurt over the last few months and was now taller than me. “Come on, I’ll walk to your first class with you.”

  “You don’t have to—”

  “I want to,” he cut me off. “Besides, my first class is near yours anyway.” He shrugged as if it was no big deal, but it was. It was a big deal because I shouldn’t have been scared to simply walk to class. My life had changed so much in such a short amount of time, and I had no idea whether I was coming or going. I was caught in a whirlwind, holding on tight until I was spat back out to land on my feet.

  I closed my locker, took a breath, and then walked through the now packed halls. Whispers and words I couldn’t make out surrounded me. I tried to ignore them the best I could, but the word “liar” was repeated over and over again. They didn’t believe what had happened, and I wasn’t surprised in the least. Knox was the big shot at this school, and now he wasn’t even allowed to attend. It was my fault he couldn’t be here. My fault he couldn’t run these halls the way he always had.

  But it wasn’t my fault. It was his fault. He decided to break into the shop. He walked into my apartment that night. He took what he had no right to. This was all his fault. And the more I reminded myself of that, the more my shoulders pushed back, and my head lifted. I didn’t need to be ashamed. I hadn’t made any of the choices because they’d been ripped away from me. All I’d done was told the truth, and now the pieces were falling into place.

  So, I didn’t care if they didn’t believe me. I didn’t care that in my first class a note was thrown across to me. I didn’t open it because I wasn’t going to give them the time of day. I was here to attend my classes and get my diploma. That was it.

  My second class went much like my first, but by lunchtime, students weren’t whispering. Instead, they were talking about me at a normal level, tearing who I was to shreds with their words. But still, I didn’t let it get to me. Nothing they said or did could compare to what I had already been through. If anything, they were giving me the strength to continue on the path I’d started. They were making me realize how all too often things like this happened. Victims were made to feel ashamed—scared into silence. But not this time. This time I’d take the victim label and twist it, turning it.

  I was a survivor.

  I’d survived my life in a trailer. I’d survived each day with an addict for a mother. I’d survived my days where Knox would wear me down. I’d survived Knox raping me. I was a survivor. And not one person in this school was going to make me feel any less than that.

  So, as the last bell of the day rang, and I packed up my books into my bag, I patted myself on the back for making it through my first day back. I’d done it on my own. I’d faced the people at this school and not given in.

  Until I exited the school and tripped over someone’s foot. My hands came out to save me, my palms scraping against the rough ground of the top step, and my face missed smacking into it by mere centimeters.

  Laughs echoed around me, jeers and applause mixing in with them. I could have kept my face down. I could have waited them out and scampered away. But I was done. I was done with letting people push me around and judge me without knowing me. Done with feeling like the scared little girl I used to be. So, I slowly stood, keeping my gaze fixated right in front of me.

  “Is that all you’ve got?” I asked, feeling my blood pumping through my body. My hands stung from the grazes and I let it fuel me—let it push me forward. “You think tripping me up and calling me names will change anything?” My voice was louder now, carrying over the errant laughs until silence ensued.

  “You’re a fucking liar!” a male voice shouted, followed by several jeers.

  “Were you there?” My breaths came harder and faster, my head starting to spin.

  “Elodie,” Leo said from behind me, but I ignored him. I wasn’t going to stand for this any longer. I wasn’t going to be scared every time I had to come to school. This should have been one of my safe spaces
, not the place I dreaded coming to most.

  “No.” I stepped forward and glanced out at the crowd of students. Their expressions ranged from anger to shock. “None of you were there.” My nostrils flared and my hands clenched at my sides. “You think he’d have been charged if he didn’t do it?” Silence rang out so loudly it almost hurt my ears. “I don’t have to answer to any of you.” I shook my head and took a step forward. “I don’t give a flying fuck if any of you believe me or not. Just leave me the hell alone.”

  I didn’t say another word as I walked down the steps and through the crowd. They parted for me, the whispers starting again, but there was a different vibe to them this time. Shock and understanding.

  “Elodie?” Someone touched my arm, and I jerked, my heart pounding in my chest. “Sorry,” the small female voice said. I turned my head and recognized her as the girl who hung around with Knox. I waited, knowing whatever she was going to say wasn’t going to be good. If there was one person who didn’t believe me, it would have been her. “I…” She glanced around at her friends, all of them having wide eyes and mouths open in shock. “I believe you.”

  “You…what?” I reeled back, not having expected that from her.

  “I believe you.” She looked down, shuffled closer, then stared back at me. “I know he hurt you. I…I saw him hitting you once. I just wanted to say…erm…I wanted to say…if you need anything…” She trailed off.

  “I…” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to react to what she had said, so I simply responded, “Thanks.”

  She nodded, her fully made-up face pale. I wondered if he’d ever hurt her, and for the first time, I realized I may not have been the only person Knox had done this to. I’d been on the outside looking in, making judgements about the people surrounding Knox, but what if he’d led me to believe something that wasn’t there.

  I inhaled a sharp breath as realization set in. He’d fooled me, just like he’d fooled everyone else. The truth had been set free now though, and there was nothing more powerful than that.

  ASHER

  My leg bounced up and down as I waited outside my lawyer’s office. Soft music played throughout the floor mixed in with murmurs and heels clacking on the marble floors. I didn’t know where to look as people milled about, moving from office to office in their pristine pressed suits. I was on edge, unsure what would come from this meeting. The last I’d heard from Mr. Bennet was when Elodie and I were back at the lake house, but that had been a couple of months ago. I was holding out hope that it was a good sign it had taken this long for my lawyer to call me into his office, but my gut told me it wasn’t. I only had three months until my court date, and if something wasn’t worked out by then, I’d be going to trial. A trial where the evidence was stacked against me.

  But I didn’t regret what I did. Not even for a single second.

  My gaze slid to the large dark wood double doors and to the woman sitting behind a desk beside them. She clacked away at her keyboard, her attention solely focused on her computer screen. She paused, tilted her head to the side, and pressed on the device attached to her ear. Her gaze snapped to me, her lips in a straight line as she said, “You can go in now.”

  “Thanks,” I murmured as I stood. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to wear smart clothes to this meeting or not, but I’d figured it wouldn’t hurt, so although I was in a pair of black jeans, I had a shirt and tie on just in case. It was the first time I was seeing my lawyer face-to-face, and I needed him to know what happened that night wasn’t who I was. I’d worked damn hard my entire life to become a person I was proud of. I’d trained longer hours than anyone else I knew. I was top of my class, I’d risen through the military ranks, and I’d put my all into growing my own business, but I was afraid one act would define the rest of my life.

  My body was stiff as I stepped toward the doors. I took a couple of breaths to try and calm myself down, then pulled them open. A man in a suit stood from behind his desk, a smile on his face. “Asher, so nice to finally meet you.”

  I closed the door behind me and shook his hand, not knowing what to say other than, “You too, Mr. Bennet.”

  “Take a seat.” He pointed at one of the chairs around a small round table in the corner of his office. His huge desk sat in the middle of the room surrounded by boxes marked with names and numbers, and his twentieth-floor office windows looked out on the rest of the city. “Let me grab your file.” He moved back to his desk as I sat down. He shuffled several files and finally produced one that he held up in the air as he walked back over to me. “I’ve been in touch with the DA,” he started, flipping the file open. He read over something, then glanced up at me. “Are you still sure we can’t get a statement from your girlfriend?”

  I gritted my teeth and clenched my hands on my thighs. I hadn’t expected him to start out like that, but I supposed there was no way around it. Maybe he’d thought time would have changed my mind, but he was wrong. “No. She’s not making a statement.”

  Mr. Bennet leaned back in his seat, keeping his attention solely on me. “I have to tell you, Asher, without her statement, there’s not much I can do.” He huffed out a breath, looking both tired and frustrated. “I have the statements from the arresting officers, the statement from the victim—”

  I huffed out a laugh. “That piece of shit isn’t a victim.” I needed to keep my cool. It wasn’t my lawyer’s fault, but fuck, just hearing him calling Knox a victim was making my blood boil.

  “In the eyes of the law, Asher, he is.” He raised a brow. “It doesn’t matter what he did for you to have…done what you did. Regarding your case, without the statement from your girlfriend, all we have is the evidence that you assaulted this man and put him in the hospital.” He shuffled the papers again, producing what looked like medical bills. “I have the itemized treatments and expenses here.”

  I picked it up and rolled my eyes. I didn’t give a shit how many stitches he had or that he was in a medically induced coma for a few days. He deserved it, and more.

  I pushed the paper back over to him. “So, what happens now?”

  Mr. Bennet looked at me for a beat, but when all I did was stare back, he finally told me, “The DA has offered you a plea deal.” He inhaled a breath and leaned forward on the table. “Twenty years with the possibility of parole after eighteen.”

  “Twenty years?” My chest felt heavy, each of my breaths harder to come by. Twenty years. I’d be gone for twenty years. I’d be in my fifties before I was a free man again, and Elodie…Elodie would be nearly forty. My fingers started to tingle, a sure sign I wasn’t getting enough oxygen. “I can’t do twenty years,” I croaked out.

  “They wanted thirty, but I got them down to twenty,” Mr. Bennet said, tilting his head to the side. “But if we had your girlfriend’s statement.” He paused. “They’d have no choice but to lower the charges, which would mean there would be a real possibility of no prison time.”

  I didn’t even have to think about it. It wasn’t a choice. “No.” I shook my head and pushed my chair back. “I’m not putting her through that.”

  “Asher—”

  “You heard what I said.” I stood, feeling like I was trapped inside a tiny room. I needed to get out of here. I needed to escape all of this. “She’s got her own trial to go through. I won’t make her do it twice.” I swallowed. “I won’t make her relive it over and over again.”

  “She won’t necessarily have to get on the stand—”

  “Can you guarantee that?” I whipped out, my nostrils flared as I glared at him.

  “I can’t,” he said, his voice low. “We need her statement though, Asher. Without it, you’re…”

  “Fucked?” I laughed and took a step toward the wooden doors. “If it means she’s protected from the interrogation that would happen on the stand, then I’ll do the twenty years. I’d stay locked inside a room for the rest of my life if it meant she was okay.”

  “Asher—”

  “Are we
done now?” I asked, walking past him. I had no intention of staying here any longer than I needed to. If I only had three months until I had to be in court and sign this plea deal, then I was going to live every single second of that time. I was going to soak in each minute that passed by.

  “If you change your mind…”

  “I won’t.” I pulled the door open, walked through it, and left Mr. Bennet standing in the middle of his office. He didn’t understand the need to protect the person who meant the most to you. He didn’t understand how putting her on that stand could break her all over again. She was only now just putting the pieces back together again, and I wouldn’t destroy the progress she’d made.

  I was doing it for her. It was all for her.

  Chapter Thirteen

  ELODIE

  I wasn’t sure how long I stood under the spray of the water coming out of the showerhead, but my fingers had started to wrinkle at some stage, indicating I’d been under the water for too long. My muscles ached in places I’d forgotten they could ache, but it was a good kind of feeling—one that told me I’d danced my ass off.

  I was slowly getting back into my routine, or at least, my new routine. I’d been back at school for a couple of weeks, and with each day that passed, the whispers and echoes in the hallways faded to silence. My classes whizzed by every day with Leo always waiting to escort me to my next class and to eat lunch with. He never failed to be there for me during the day, and although I didn’t need him to stick to me like glue, it added a safety net I hadn’t realized I’d needed.

  But when I was in the dance studio, I was truly alone. It was then that I could let it all out. I unlocked my heart, freed every emotion I pushed down each day, and exposed it for the walls of the studio to see. And today wasn’t any different. I’d danced harder than I had in months, years even, and it had been worth it, both physically and mentally.