by LJ Swallow
"You're not taking anything I don't want to give, Joss." Still stroking him, I move back to his face, then trail my tongue along his jaw to his ear, working him with my hand. His breathing grows ragged and he fists his hand in my hair. Joss is on the verge of losing control, and I want him to. "
"You can fuck me if you want.”
"Don’t say that.” "Why? Don’t you want to?”
Joss winds a hand into my hair and pulls my head back. I smile down at him, as he crashes his mouth against mine. He grabs my ass and his fingers dig into me. and I push his shirt from his shoulders, wanting his skin on mine, aching for more. Joss breaks away for a moment as he pulls off my bra, and our mouths are together again in seconds. His skin is hot, and my peaked nipples brush against his hard chest adding to the ache between my legs.
"You want me to lose control, don’t you?” he growls at me.
"Maybe.”
He sits and, grabbing me by the ass, he hoists me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist. His hard cock pushes against my clit through my jeans and I groan, hanging onto his firm shoulders. Joss spins me around and pushes the books on his desk to one side before lowering me, lips still on mine again.
Joss kicks off his shoes and we drag at each other’s jeans, adding them to the pile on the floor. He pulls my legs to the edge of the desk and opens them; pressing against me, my panties a barrier I don’t want. I make an soft sound in my throat and wrap a leg around his waist pulling him closer.
"You’re fucking beautiful, Vee,” he says and runs a finger along my panties. I suck air through my teeth, the material between me and his finger too much. Joss silently agrees, hooks his fingers around the edge, and pulls them down.
As I kick them off, my hand finds him again, and I run a featherlight touch along the shaft. Joss sucks in airs, fingers finding my wet centre in response, then shoves me back onto the surface so I’m forced to let go of him.
Gazing down, Joss slides a finger along the seam of my sex and watches as he pushes a finger inside, his breath ragged.
I sink back, head against the cool wood. My chest tightens and breathing comes in short pants as he teases my clit with his thumb, sliding a second finger into me. "I’ll do anything you ask, Vee, but that doesn’t include destroying who you are.”
He has to. Joss needs to let go, to allow his power to take over.
"I need you to show how you feel, Joss,” I murmur. "I need to know you want me.”
"Of course I fucking want you. I was waiting for you to want me.” He leans forward and nips my bottom lip gently as he moves his hand, stroking the sensitive spot inside.
My heart swells again. "Always. I always wanted you. But right now I need you. This.”
He rests his head on my shoulder, taking shuddering breaths. "Vee, I always wanted to go slow with you the first time, but I fucking can’t.” Joss places a hand on the table next to me, the restrained part of him fighting through.
"Don’t then.”
He slides along me, and as his mouth close over mine again, he thrusts into me, hard, taking me by surprise. I shift and grip Joss with my legs, feeling him filling me, our position pushing him against the spot that guarantees me a place in the stars. I grab a handful of his hair and pull his face up, grazing my teeth against his lip. He growls and pushes harder, more frenzied than I ever expected.
He slides a hand between us, and as soon as he pushes his thumb against my sensitive clit, he jolts the hardwiring that sparks my body alight. He watches my response, mouth parted hooded eyes on mine, as I begin to unravel beneath him.
Joss covers my body with his, kissing and nipping at my skin. "I’m not going to lose control, Vee.” His breath heats my ear. "You are.”
I wanted Joss to starve me of emotion, but he’s consuming my self-control and using it for himself. Instead, Joss now has the control I wanted to take away from him. I hold my breath against the wave building with each movement until I tighten around Joss and the shattering bliss hits.
I bite into his shoulder to stop crying out.
Immediately, Joss removes his hand from between us and grips my hips, thrusting into me harder and faster as I climax around him, pleasure pulsing through. Within seconds, Joss matches my release, pushing himself to the hilt before dropping onto me, hand wrapped in my hair.
No.
This isn't what I wanted or expected. Joss's love for me courses between us, pushing away his darker part I asked to starve me. Every emotion we share fills my body and mind; our bodies linked, intensifying the empathic power I share with him. At this moment, I am Joss. I experience every emotion as he does and hear every thought running through his mind. His heart beats against my chest as if it were mine.
Sex with Joss holds more than the intense physical need and pleasure; his love trumps his famine and prevents him starving me the way I wanted. With each guy, something good passes in an exchange and not the powers they use to injure and kill. Maybe I listened too closely to Logan, believed him too strongly, and there's no way I'll lose my humanity soon.
But as I lie with Joss, our breathing stilling as we cover each other’s faces with kisses, the voice that whispered in the dark recesses of my mind speaks again. If I fill myself with each power, I can fulfill what I need to be.
I will be stronger than any of them.
8
VEE
Seth sleeps on the sofa, and I sleep with Joss.
Following our sex in his study, I'm calmer around Joss, and the one I spent time with eating cake and walking reappears, but he also spends the night reminding me again and again the rawer Joss beneath. The natural comfort between us returns, and I fall asleep exhausted in his arms, his playful banter echoing in my ears as he strokes my face.
He's not around the next morning, and within minutes, sleepiness snaps back to awareness. What will happen today when we speak to Seth? Xander's quest for answers won't allow him to leave this house before Seth gives them.
Stealthily I head downstairs, listening for voices, and only hear Joss's and Xander's in the kitchen.
"Ah, great, I didn't need to take the long walk upstairs with your coffee." Joss smiles and holds out a steaming mug as I walk into the room. "Made using your coffee machine, of course."
I gratefully take the mug and circle it in both hands. Joss crosses and places a kiss on my forehead as he runs the back of his hand down my cheek. "Okay?"
I nod, and glance at Xander who gives a slight smile and shakes his head.
"I'm fine. Where's Seth?"
Xander points towards the lounge with his mug. "Sleeping. Still." He yawns. "I could do with some sleep too. Long night."
"Did you sit up and watch Seth all night?" I ask. "Seriously? The guy's injured and terrified, I doubt he'll go anywhere."
"Sure. Just like the other day when he disappeared because we left him." Xander sips and watches me over the top of his mug. "Remember what happened when we were away?"
My heart skips at the double meaning to his question. He hasn't referred to what happened in the hotel room, since our anger spilt over into crazy sex. His attitude towards me has softened, but the walls have definitely rebuilt.
"When someone murdered his friend?" I reply. "Is that what you're referring to?"
Hi studies me intently. "Yes, Vee. That’s what I’m referring to."
Xander often stands in this spot in the kitchen, which allows him the best view between the two rooms, and cranes his head to watch Seth. "I hope he's ready for some questions."
I set down my mug and pull open a kitchen drawer. I stashed a few personal supplies in here when I moved from my flat, including painkillers. The guys don't seem to need them, another example why I want rid of my human side, but Seth must do considering the wound on his arm.
Xander and Joss watch as I fill a glass with water. "What? I'm taking this to Seth."
Xander nods. "Yeah, maybe you should speak to him first. Reassure him I'm not about to hurt him. But if I find out he's bullshitting
us in any way, he's in trouble."
"I think between us, me and Vee can detect if he's lying or how he's feeling."
"I heard you make a great team." Xander's mouth twitches in amusement.
Heat fills my cheeks, and I curse myself for allowing Xander to embarrass me with the idea he could've walked in.
"Did you want something when you were looking for me last night?" asks Joss.
"Just a chat, but you were distracted."
I ignore his pointed comment. "Maybe you could have that chat now.” I head to the kitchen doorway. "Now Joss isn't distracted."
Despite my new ability to read people, sometimes it's impossible to tell how Xander feels. Can Joss? Xander's ambivalence to what happened in the hotel room is a relief because I worried what happened would cause more issues between us. I've a long way to go before he allows himself to fully accept my role.
Seth's asleep beneath a blue blanket in the darkened room. I open the curtains to a dull November day and stare in dismay at the rain clouds. Dreary weather equals dreary moods. I hate winter, but not only the cold. The sun rarely appears for months, leaving behind the autumn decay for a dark winter. Maybe a trip overseas with the guys would help.
Although god knows what I might come across over there.
Seth shifts on the sofa behind me. He takes his glasses from the coffee table and sits, immediately smoothing his hair. He winces as he moves his arm.
"I'm glad I saw you first when I woke up," he says in a hoarse voice, then clears his throat. "Though I'm worried about overstaying my welcome."
I hand him the water and painkillers. "Thought you might like these."
As Seth swallows the tablets, I sit on the nearby armchair. "What happened to Casey?" I blurt.
He straightens and stares at the glass. "I'd rather talk about that with your friends around. I don't want to tell the story twice."
"Okay."
"Are they around?"
"Xander and Joss are."
Seth immediately stands and brushes at his clothes. He peers down at his wounded arm. "I should thank them all for helping me."
"I think they'll expect help and answers in return."
"I'll help because I really need theirs."
I only know Seth from online, or the few times we met, and I'm cautious. I've never picked up lies from him, and his voracious need to uncover truth matches the one I had until a short time ago, but Xander's right about the question marks over him.
I chew my lip, desperate to hear his answers.
Who killed Casey?
And was he there when it happened?
"Can I ask you something?" he whispers.
"Sure."
"The guy. Did I see you...” he swallow. "Did you kill him? Was I hallucinating? My head is fucked and I can hardly remember what happened the last twenty-four hours." Seth clears his throat. "But when he held me against the tree outside his eyes looked bright red and he looked inhuman. I thought it was a joke and somebody trying to scare me, but now I don't know what to believe."
I search for the right words to respond with as Seth drinks, holding the glass in a shaking hand. "No. But the truth is more frightening than you think, Seth."
"More frightening than people wanting to murder every friend I have?"
I meet his eyes with a silent yes, and he drops his gaze again as he finishes the water.
"Okay." Seth eyes the kitchen doorways as if he's headed for a painful interrogation process. "Let's do this."
9
VEE
One or two guys usually stand when we hold discussions around the kitchen table, but I've learned that if they all sit, they're focused and serious.
Seth sits opposite Xander and Heath, beside Joss. Ewan and I sit at either end of the table. Before we spoke to Seth, I asked Xander to consider he's talking to a freaked out human and not a supernatural creature. He gruffly agreed to take the fact into account.
Their combined energy fills the room, almost tangible, charged by the suspicion about the sixth person with us. Sporting teams can fill a space with testosterone; this team project a mesmerising power joined by their physical presence. These Four were definitely created to appeal to people, because the effect on me when I'm around all four at once dizzies me every time.
"First up," says Xander as soon as we're assembled in our strange meeting. "What happened the morning we came to look for you? Do you know where Casey is?"
Seth looks Xander directly in the eyes at his "down to business” words. "I didn't know she'd died until I heard you talking to Taron."
Xander flicks a look at me, and I nod. The truth.
He sinks back in his chair. "Fuck. Did you see anything?"
Seth rubs both hands across his face. "I don't remember."
Again the truth.
"You don't remember what happened, or don't remember who did it?" asks Heath. "Who attacked you yesterday morning? The same guy as last night?"
"No. When the men came into the hall, it was still dark," he says in a low voice. "At first I thought one of the guys was him." Seth points at Xander. "He was the same height and build and held the same aggression."
Xander straightens again and places his arms on the table, leaning towards Seth. "I don't kill humans."
"If you say the guy who attacked us was someone else, then I believe you. After all, you saved me last night." He rests a palm on his cheek. "There were two men—they broke into the hall, and as I switched on a light, one of them hit me hard across the face. He knocked me unconscious, and that's all I remember."
Joss shifts in his chair. "What did that guy look like?"
"I don't know. His face was covered by a black hood. All I know is he had bright blue eyes and was strong. I didn't have a chance to look at anything else before he knocked me out."
"Where did they take you?" Xander's eyes narrow.
"They dumped me in a dark room. I don't know where. They took my phone and car keys, and I had no clue where I was. All I could think about was Casey. And Verity. I didn't know what was happening."
"You can call me Vee, I say in a gentle voice. Despite his weak smile, Seth's fear isn't dissipating and chaos fills his mind.
Xander continues his interrogation of the poor guy. "Tell me everything you remember about where they kept you. Any sounds? Smells? What was around you?"
Seth rests his elbows on the table and places his head in his hands. "Nothing. Just darkness. A musty smell I guess, like a basement maybe? I was unconscious a lot of the time, and when I woke, I felt sick—like I'd been drugged." He takes a shuddering breath. "A guy in a black mask came in—maybe the same one—and injected me with something. I passed out again and woke up back in the hall. For a few minutes, I thought maybe I dreamt it all until I realised how much I hurt and saw the blood on the floor."
The guys look at each other as Seth stares down at the table.
Casey’s blood.
"Why didn't you leave the hall then?" I ask. "Go for help?”
"I hadn't been there long when the guy arrived who attacked me, and you stopped him. I spent maybe ten minutes lying on the floor trying to find strength to do something."
"And you're sure he wasn't one of the guys you saw before?" asks Heath.
Seth shakes his head. "No. The person who attacked me yesterday evening, the guy Vee killed, was taller."
Xander chews his lip and we exchange a look. "Vee didn't kill anybody. You must’ve imagined that. Been semi-conscious, maybe. He died of something else."
"But I’m sure I saw Vee..." He trails off and holds his hands across his face. "I don't know what I saw. I don't know if this is the drugs, or what the hell is going on."
I can tell from Heath's silent communication with the others that they're not about to freak Seth out further with tales of vampires and demons. But he has to know. Seth needs to understand exactly who he's in danger from. And we need to figure out why. Since when did demons target human conspiracy theorists in such a public way?
"Do you trust us?" asks Joss.
He gives a soft laugh. "I don't have much choice. I was attacked twice in the same day. You didn't kill Casey; you're the lesser of two evils."
"We're not evil," growls Heath.
"I don't know what you are. But if Verity—Vee—trusts you then I have to accept you're okay."
"He doesn't know anything. He's telling the truth," I say.
Xander's expression shocks me, as if he wishes Seth wasn't. He wants answers about the situation, and Seth doesn't have them.
Seth chews a nail. "Casey... Is she definitely dead?"
"We never saw the body," Joss replies.
"So she could be alive?" Seth's face brightens with false hope, which disappears when Xander pulls an image from a file on the table. Seth looks away. "Okay. Probably not."
Ewan takes the photos Xander tore from the walls at the hall and slides them until they cover the table. Seth picks through them silently, paling back to the colour he was last night as he does.
"What do the words mean, Seth?" Xander taps on the image with the writing on the wall.
"It's a line from a poem," puts in Joss. "I thought I recognised it, so I googled it this morning. Yeats. ‘The Second Coming.’"
Heath snaps his head around to look at Joss. "Second Coming? What the hell?"
My mouth dries. I don't believe in the Biblical, but how can I deny the connection? These guys were mentioned in the Bible. Joss believes in Lucifer, that Hell exists and is where the demons come from. The room lurches along with my heart.
"The poem is allegorical," says Joss.
Xander drops the photo. "Use normal words, Joss."
"It's about the world being fucked."
Ewan laughs at Xander's expression. "Well, that's not exactly news to us."
"Yeah, but why choose words from a poem?" asks Heath. "The other messages were taunts. What the hell does this mean?"
"What does any of this mean?" I ask. "We've no more answers."
"I know the poem too," replies Seth. "It's about what happens when chaos reigns in the world."