Rain (Rain a short story)

by Watson, Michelle

  Rain

  BY

  Michelle Watson

  Copyright©2012 by Michelle Watson

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book can be reproduced in any form or by electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without the permission in writing from author. The only exception is by a reviewer who may quote short excerpts in a review.

  Author’s Note

  This is a short story about how addictive and intoxicating an abusive relationship can be. Many suffer worldwide from people that equally love them just as much as they harm them.

  I don’t want you to come into this blind and unaware about what you’re about to read.

  Michelle Watson

  Part One

  Part Two

  Part Three

  Part Four

  Chapter one of Pure Illusion

  Part One

  Basking in the safety of my meadow…

  My best friend Tate sits across from me as we have lunch at a small restaurant near my apartment in downtown Seattle, Washington. The weather is always wet and cold in December.

  His green eyes are wide and assessing as they burn into me, and I know exactly what he’s doing: mentally cataloging every visible scrap and bruise on my body.

  “You are beautiful,” I murmur, glancing down and picking over my grilled chicken salad.

  He smiles, showing off his dimples. They are adorable too.

  My breath catches in my throat because it feels like I’ve been smacked in the face then ran over by a tractor trailer which is boyish charm.

  Breathe idiot, breathe.

  His brows push together. “What?”

  “You are beautiful,” I repeat, stuffing a forkful of lettuce in my mouth. “Everything about you is beautiful.” His skin is a pale gold color and his hair is wavy, thick, and dirty blond.

  “Mom’s Swedish, dad’s black. Biracial beauty,” he jokes. “You’re not bad yourself.”

  “Mom’s white, father’s Mexican. Biracial beauty,” I tease. I laugh alone as his concerned eyes revert back to the bruise on the side of my neck. “You should eat your cheeseburger before it gets cold.”

  He blinks, then glances down at his plate. Tate switches meals with me. “I never see you eat anymore,” he says with a disapproval expression crossing his angelic face.

  “But I can’t eat this,” I whisper, frowning at him with pleading eyes.

  His brows lift, wanting an explanation. “And why not?”

  “Zack.” One word with a million different meanings.

  His jaw clenches in anger as he comes to realization. “What the fuck? You’re twenty-two and in perfect shape.”

  “He has me on a diet,” I whisper, feeling embarrassed beyond belief. But I have always told Tate everything.

  Always.

  I’ve never lied to him.

  Not once.

  “What the fuck?”

  Pure bewilderment.

  “Yeah,” I confirm, pushing the plate towards him.

  “So?”

  “So?” I repeat, confused.

  “So?” he repeats, his lips set in a grim thin line.

  “So…?”

  He sighs, shaking his head. “Yeah, cupcake. So?” Tate pushes the plate towards me. “You should eat, Rain. And stop listening to everything Mr. Fucking Douchebag says. I’m not fooling around.”

  I purse my lips, crossing my arms over my chest. “Well, ‘Mr. Fucking Douchebag’ is taking care of me. I’m unemployed right now, Tate. And I have nowhere else to go. You know my family is back in L.A. And I’m not returning home because I ‘failed’ in the real world. My mom and dad already have enough stress in their lives. I don’t want to add to that. ” As if on cue, my phone rings.

  It’s Zack, my boyfriend.

  Tate snatches my phone from me and shoves it in the pocket of his jeans, smirking.

  Shit! This is going to get me in trouble.

  “Give me my phone!”

  “Listen,” frustration washes over his face, hardening his features, “you know you can stay with me. You’ve been involved with this fuck-up for an entire year, Rain. We go to the same nursing school anyway; it’ll be fun to have you as a roommate. You’ll give me the company I need.”

  “You think so?” I ask, unsure. I don’t want to burden him.

  “Absolutely,” he assures. “And plus,” his eyes shift back to the bruise on my neck and he frowns, “I know he hits you, Rain. That shit is not cool.”

  My hand flies to the dark spot on my neck. I shrug, staring out the plate-glass window of the restaurant, watching the rain sheet down from the cloudy sky. “He’s going to freak out on me. Can you help me pack?”

  It’s an opportunity to leave and spread my wings a little and it’s with Tate. But I love Zack. Love, love, love him. I’m completely addicted in a terrifying way and I’m not sure I want treatment just yet. I don’t have the strength to stay away from him. I am that weak.

  It’s my best friend Tate. He’s worried about me when I can’t think through the thick and intoxicating haze of Zack to be concerned about myself.

  That face.

  Those eyes.

  How can I say no to him?

  My eyes drift back to him.

  “Yeah, sure, but I will kick his ass if he touches you again,” he pauses and his eyes slowly scan over me, “I can only imagine what you’re hiding under that coat.”

  “Please don’t,” I murmur, pulling the sleeves of my black pea coat down, even though it’s absurdly toasty inside this small and intimate restaurant. “We can do it tomorrow morning when he leaves for work. I want to make this as less difficult and as less complicated as possible. I love him and I don’t want to break his heart.”

  He nods in agreement. “Eat your burger and I’ll give your phone back.”

  Snorting, I say, “You know…I must have a thing for bossy men.” I pick up the cheeseburger and take a huge bite. My eyes widen as the juicy flavors explode in my mouth.

  He raises his brows. “Bossy isn’t bad…as long as you get it in doses. Safe doses. Zack doesn’t know how to control his anger. Exhibit fucking A is that dark ass bruise on your neck,” he shakes his head and the muscles in face tighten. “I know you’re not stupid so I’m at a loss at why you’re still with him. The sex can’t be that good.”

  My brows lift. “Though, it is pretty awesome,” I add.

  “Christ, Rain. Look at yourself and tell me it’s ‘pretty awesome’ to have patches of black and blue marking all over your precious body.”

  My precious body!

  “You think my body is precious?”

  He rakes his hands through his hair, grave eyes on mine. “Yes, I do. Please don’t tell me that’s the only thing you heard.”

  Guilt masks my face for a moment. “It was. I’m sorry…But thanks.”

  “For what?”

  “For calling me precious. Thank you,” I whisper, briefly closing my eyes as his words sink in.

  “You’re stunning, Rain. Unbelievably Beautiful. You need to know your worth,” he says quietly.

  When I open my eyes, he’s gazing at me. This gaze is not a best friend gaze. It’s an I-want-to-jump-you-right-here-right-now scorching gaze.

  Squirming, I take another bite of the delicious cheeseburger. “Mmmm.”

  Tate smiles and wipes ketchup off the side of my mouth with his thumb, sucking the tiny dollop off. “Go
od, right?”

  “Uh-huh, I haven’t had a cheeseburger in five months.”

  His green eyes frost over and his expression is stunned. “Rain, Rain, Rain,” he sighs. “You’re gonna to kill me. Yep. You’re gonna be the death of me. I knew it the first time I laid eyes on your sweet face in high school five years ago. It was like a dagger right through the heart.”

  My lips twist to the side. “I hope not. I need you.”

  Laughing, he leans forward and takes a chuck from the cheeseburger. “I wouldn’t know what to do without you, cupcake.”

  “Why do you call me, cupcake? I never understood your little pet name for me.”

  His smile broadens, twisting my heart further more. “Because you’re cute, small, and sweet as hell. You’re my little cupcake, cupcake. How much do you weigh anyway, one ten?”

  “One twenty-five,” I correct.

  Tate unconsciously licks his lips, eyes growing darker. “You’re perfect.”

  My hearts begins to beat in my ears as my stomach flutters. “Tate, why didn’t we ever happen?”

  He shrugs and leans back in his chair, eyes locked on mine. “I guess wrong timing. When you were single, I was dating what’s-her-face. Now I’m single and you’re with a dummy. But I’d like us to happen, if you want to…I mean, I not trying to push a full-blown relationship on you or anything. Hell, maybe I am. Whatever. Me and you, cupcake, equals perfection. Our kids would be gorgeous.”

  “Yeah?” I ask, smiling ridiculously.

  “Fuck yeah,” he agrees. His phone rings and he frowns at the number, ignoring the call.

  “Who is that?”

  “Nikki.”

  “I thought it was over between you two.”

  He glances up from his phone to me. “It is and it has been for a while. She’s just a psycho ex. I’m sure you’ll understand once you break things off with Zack.”

  “She never liked me, anyway.”

  “Who cares, cupcake. She’s old news.”

  I sit the half eaten burger down, staring into his eyes. “Not really. She called me and said she was going to break my neck if I didn’t leave you alone.”

  His expression turns to stone. “What? She called you?”

  I nod. “More than once, but the calls are always private or unknown.”

  “We’re getting our numbers changed,” he says with sudden solemnity in his tone.

  “It’s not that serious, Tate,” I mumble.

  “Well, you’re that serious to me. Besides, it’s not like we can go to the police—her dad’s the sheriff.” He stares at a fixed spot on the wooden table, dumbfounded. “What was I thinking when I was with her?”

  “Curvy redhead with giant boobs.”

  His eyes have an amused twinkle. “You’re right. I cannot deny the beast inside of me. When I see a pair of nice and fertile hips all I want to do is stick my d—”

  “Okay, Tate. I get the picture.”

  Part Two

  The strong heartbeat of a furious lion…

  I don’t have much, so packing should be a breeze. I just have to wait for the perfect time. Perfect time equals less heartache for everyone. My eyes dart to the digital clock on the dresser that reads 7 P.M. Zack should’ve been home by now, but it is Friday. Maybe he took his crew out for drinks or something.

  I check my dying cell one last time before I shut it off, placing it on the nightstand by the bed. I’ll charge it later.

  No messages from Zack, just five missed unknown calls.

  Anxiety about leaving builds in my gut. This is the second time I’m acting on a bold decision, the first was moving out here two years ago. Maybe a nap can settle me down. I need to get my scrambled thoughts together if I want this move to go off without a hitch.

  Yep, a nap is exactly what I need, I think as I climb into our, I mean, his bed.

  ***

  The covers are thrown off me. I’m woken by an excruciating pain spiking through my scalp. It’s Zack. He’s pulling me out the bed by my hair.

  My hair!

  “Ow!” I yell as he drags me out the bed.

  “What the fuck, Rain?” He lets go once I’m on the floor. “I…called…and…called…and…called! Why the fuck didn’t you answer? You know how I feel about you not answering your phone. I don’t like that shit. Not at all. Are you doing this to me on purpose?”

  My hands reach up in my hair, lightly caressing my stinging scalp. “No. My fucking phone is dead you asshole.”

  He laughs darkly. His fair skin is darkened by the moonlight and his crystal blue eyes are dilated, the tainted black spilling into the pure blue. He’s dressed in his mechanic uniform. He’s still breathtakingly gorgeous. Angry as hell but still beautiful. He crosses his arms at his chest, expression lightly amused and way more annoyed. “Asshole?”

  My stomach flutters, my pulse is erratic like my breathing. “You heard me, asshole.”

  In a movement that happens too fast I barely witness it, he squats down and cruelly cups my chin, staring directly into my wide eyes. The heat emanating off his body is scorching. It’s like I am being roasted alive. His fingers pinch my skin. “You love this fucking asshole?”

  Holding his turbulent gaze, I nod breathlessly.

  He narrows his eyes very slightly before placing a soft and wet kiss on my lips. Zack closes his eyes, resting his heated forehead on mine. He seems heady for a moment. “I love so much, Rain, so fucking much. If you ever leave me…I will kill myself because not having you at my side will drive me fucking insane. You get me?”

  My heart plummets to stomach.

  Damn!

  Damn!

  Damn!

  Damn!

  “Yeah, I got you,” I whisper, shocked beyond my natural capacity.

  “You’re my superstar, my beginning, my ending. I can’t lose you. I won’t. Yeah?”

  “I’m not going to leave you,” I assure. My voice is a small, shriveled, unsteady thing. My plans of moving out have quickly vanished.

  Gone.

  He slowly opens his eyes and takes a deep satisfied breath. “You’re trembling, babe.”

  What I see in them petrifies and excites me.

  How can such a thing be possible?

  I look down at my shaky hands in my lap, letting my long hair fall around my face, creating a dark curtain between us.

  “I’m gonna put you in bed now, yeah?”

  I answer the question with a slight nod.

  He stands, hands hooked around my wrists, lifting me up with him. Zack urges me back to the bed. And I lie back down without complaint, staring at the ceiling with a thousand different thoughts racing through my mind.

  The bedsprings protest as he sits beside me. “I hurt my baby?” he asks softly.

  “Yes,” I murmur, gazing at the white ceiling, trying not to cry.

  He shifts and lies next to me, pulling me on top of him, fitting me into the curves of his warm body. “I’m sorry, babe. Sometimes I thrash out. It’s not like I want to. I don’t, I really don’t. I don’t want to hurt you. But I do, over, and over again. Yet you stay. Empty promises, meaningless apologies, yet you stay. You stay. You fucking stay.” He takes a deep breath but is does nothing to slow his frantic heartbeat. “I’m sorry, babe,” he whispers into the silence.

  “I know,” I reply, the tears spilling out my eyes onto his shirt.

  “Damn,” he whispers, his fingers moving to my cheeks, wiping the tears away. “I made my baby cry. I love you. I don’t want you to cry.” His arms wrap around me like protective wings, squeezing lightly.

  Warmth and forbidden desire surges through me and I melt into him, knowing this is where I want to be. “I’m scared of you, Zack,” I confess in a small whisper. “You scare me.”

  “I know. I don’t want you to be, though. Crazy and intense. That’s me, babe. I don’t know if I can change. I need some serious help, yeah?” His silent laughter ripples throughout his hard chest.

  Smiling, I answer. “Yes.” I
nuzzle my cheek in the fabric of his chest. He smells so good. Zack all ways have smelled good to me. His scent is a mixture of spicy cologne and salty sweat and oil.

  He shudders and gives me another squeeze. “I can’t live without you, Rain. Please stay with me.”

  My throat constricts and my nose stings. I try not to cry but it’s useless, I burst into tears.

  He sits up and holds me close. “Baby, quit crying. You’re killing me.”

  I don’t because I can’t. He presses my head into his chest, providing me with a haven to shed my tears. “You hurt me so much, Zack. Each and every day.”

  He slides his hand down the line of my back, soothing me. “I know. I’m sorry. Love and pain is hand-in-hand with me, Rain. I don’t know how to separate the two. It’s like I can’t have one without the other. It’s been that way my entire life.”

  “If you hit me again, I’m fucking gone. Staying with you is not an option if you that happens again. Our relationship will be void. I’m serious, Zack. Another slap, push, or pinch, I’m out the door. You can kill yourself and I will leave you bleeding to death on the floor while I leave out the door.” I need him to understand that I cannot allow him to harm me in that way.

  Not anymore.

  Every muscle in his body tenses. “I get it, Rain. I’ll control it.” He tips my head back, gazing into my teary eyes. “I’ll control it. I love you.”

  It’s something about his earnest tone and the pleading in his gaze that lets me know he means it.

  This time.

  I throw my arms and legs around him, pressing his warm body close to mine.

  He holds my head between his hands, intently staring into my watery eyes, skimming his lips over mine. “So beautiful, so fucking beautiful.” Zack leans forward as if he’s about to kiss me but doesn’t. He’s close, so close that I can see the specks of gold-gray in the irises of his vivid blue eyes. “You’re mine.”

  I gasp as a shiver runs through me.

  I can’t breathe.

  I can’t move.