Goddess’s Choice

by I. T. Lucas

  Their plight was not as bad as that of the males. The possibility of having a child to share their long life with, to bear witness to their journey, made the lack of a life-mate tolerable. But for the males there was no such solace. If their dalliance with a human resulted in a child, that child was mortal, with a mortal’s short lifespan and vulnerability. But wasn’t that exactly what she was trying to rectify? Find Dormants that were descendent from other matrilineal lines?

  As all members of her clan were the progeny of one immortal female, they were forbidden to one another.

  A taboo.

  Kian took her hand. “You’re still young, Amanda, so it’s still fun for you. But I bet it will get old by the time you reach my age.”

  Amanda looked into his eyes and spoke softly. “Forgive me for pushing. But I still don’t get what all of that has to do with you attempting to activate Syssi. If she turns out to be a dud, all you did was have sex with another faceless, nameless female. But if she is the real deal, isn’t it worth a try?”

  As his handsome face hardened, Kian pulled his hand away, leaned back in his chair, and crossed his arms over his chest. “Here is the thing, sister of mine. She will not be another faceless, nameless girl. We don’t know how long it takes to turn an adult woman. Don’t pimp me out like I’m some man-whore.” He uttered that last bit acidly, his expression turning to menacing.

  She had known her holier-than-thou brother would find her request objectionable, but she hadn’t expected him to be that adamant about it. Nevertheless, she had to give it another go. Tempt him. Too much was at stake. Shaking off her despairing mood, Amanda straightened her back and leaned forward. “Syssi is beautiful, Kian, and smart. You’re going to love her…” She paused, realizing that the word love did her a disservice in the context of this conversation. “I mean, it’s not like you’ll be suffering. She is exactly your type. She is blond, very pretty, with a deliciously curvy figure. I’m sure you’ll find her attractive. And engaging. Did I mention already how smart she is? And nice?”

  “I’ll take your word for it, but I’ll pass. Ask someone else. If she is so wonderful, I’m sure you’ll have no shortage of volunteers.” There was a finality to his tone that would have deterred a lesser opponent. But Amanda remained adamant.

  “I’m not going to choose someone else,” Amanda hissed, then hushed as she heard Gino climbing the stairs.

  Sensing the heavy tension in the room, Gino’s smile faded. “Here are your salads, and more rolls. Enjoy!” He turned and beat a hasty retreat.

  Amanda waited till Gino was out of earshot before resuming her offense. “You are my only brother, and what’s more, you’re our mother’s only living son. You’re the closest to a pureblood male the clan has. Your venom’s potency is Syssi’s best chance of turning. And when she turns, she will have the potential to create a new matrilineal line. Don’t you want to be the one who creates it with her? Who knows if I will ever find another one? Maybe she is the one lucky shot? Are you willing to bet on it? To forfeit your one chance because of pride and arrogance?” Amanda was practically huffing with righteous indignation.

  Kian regarded her coolly, still leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. “Nice speech, Amanda. One problem, though. The ‘when’, is an ‘if’. If she turns and if I were a betting man, I would not put my money on this one. And the answer is still no.”

  Amanda set her elbows onto the table, dropping her forehead on her hands. “You are such a stu… stubborn old goat. Just sleep on it. Don’t decide anything yet. Maybe when you meet her, you’ll change your mind.”

  “I don’t think so, princess.” Kian’s tone got a shade warmer as he leaned in and patted her cheek as if she was a petulant child. “Look, you will have similar chances of success using another male. The only thing I’m spoiling for you is your romantic fantasy. It’s not a big disaster. Put on your big-girl panties and deal!”

  Amanda smiled at his feeble attempt at levity. Despite his stubbornness and gruffness and bad temper, she knew that he loved her. “If I were leaning that way, I would have snatched Syssi for myself in a heartbeat. I like her that much.” She pouted.

  Kian rolled his eyes and dug into his salad, letting her know that as far as he was concerned, this discussion was over.

  6

  Syssi

  “Why Amanda thought I could do this is beyond me,” Syssi muttered as she stared at yet another printout. The freaking computer had been spouting nonsensical results all morning, and she was no closer to finding the error than she’d been five hours ago.

  Taking a hammer to the thing was looking more and more enticing.

  Heaving a sigh, she ran her fingers through her hair. Again. Sticking out in all directions, it was tangled and knotted from the number of times she’d pushed her fingers through it.

  I probably look like Einstein, and not because of what’s under my cranium.

  It was time for a break, the hollow feeling in her belly reminding her she hadn’t eaten yet.

  The two espressos, one cappuccino, and eight cups of coffee she’d consumed before lunch—which was excessive even for a caffeine addict like her—didn’t qualify as nutrition.

  It crossed her mind that she reached for coffee the way other people reached for alcohol. When agitated or worried, or just in need of a break, the ritual of making it, pouring it, and stirring in the precise amount of sweetener relaxed her.

  Drinking a truly good cup of coffee was her idea of bliss.

  Pushing up from her chair, she stretched her back, listening for the familiar popping sound. A stretch wasn’t as satisfying without it. When it came, she did a couple of side to side twists and then turned toward the two postdocs. “I’m going to grab a sandwich. You guys want anything?”

  Hannah shook her head, pointing to the empty protein shake container on her desk. Her latest diet craze consisted of protein shakes, protein bars, and water. Nothing else.

  David, the other postdoc, smiled his creepy smile and took a big bite of his salami sandwich.

  Ugh, she must have been really engrossed in her work not to notice the nauseating stench.

  “I can bring cookies.”

  Hannah made a sad face. “Rub it in, why don’t you. Waving sweet, delicious carbs in front of the fat girl. Meanie!”

  “Fine, so no cookies.”

  “Hey, what about me? I want something sweet...” David leered.

  “In solidarity with Hannah, no dessert.” Syssi pretended not to get it—her usual line of defense against unwanted advances.

  David was a jerk. He didn’t flirt or tell jokes, or any of the other things guys usually did to get Syssi’s attention. He ogled, made inappropriate comments, and habitually invaded her personal space, believing for some inexplicable reason that he was God’s gift to women everywhere. His delusional beliefs aside, his problem wasn’t that his features were unappealing, David was an average-looking guy, but that he was schlumpy and unkempt. More than his personal hygiene or taste in clothes, it was his personality that needed a major makeover.

  In the lab’s kitchenette, Syssi slapped together her favorite sandwich of goat cheese, tomatoes, and basil on whole wheat, then ate it leaning against the counter.

  She wasn’t ready to go back yet.

  Out there, she would have to deal with David. And unfortunately, as she’d learned from experience, he wasn’t done. Once David started with his idiotic comments, he’d be on a roll for the rest of the day.

  Oh, the joy...

  “Good afternoon, darlings!” Syssi heard Amanda make her grand entrance. “Missed me terribly, I hope? And where is my girl Syssi?”

  “Over here!” Syssi called over a mouthful.

  Amanda poked her head into the kitchenette, then stepped in and leaned against the counter next to Syssi. “What’s up? You look troubled.”

  “I’m dying out there. I can’t find what’s wrong with my programming. The computer has been spouting nonsense all morning, and I
’m ready to go at the thing with a sledgehammer.”

  “Why didn’t you ask David for help?” Amanda crossed her legs at her ankles and her arms over her chest.

  Syssi cast her boss a sidelong glance. “Are you serious? He will never let me live it down, probably demand a hookup as payment. The creep.”

  Amanda’s expression turned serious. “I know you don’t like David, heck, I don’t like him either. But he is very good at what he does, and you need to use him. There will always be people like him trying to mess with you, but if you let them, you’ll find it damn hard to accomplish anything. You need to be forceful and refuse to take shit from anyone. Sometimes a girl needs to be a bitch not to get pushed around. Be a bitch, Syssi! You might even enjoy it.” Amanda winked, her gorgeous face returning to its usual brightness.

  “Thank you for the advice, mommy.”

  Joking aside, Amanda was right. Syssi needed to deal with David, or working in the lab would become intolerable.

  What puzzled her, however, was Amanda’s admission that she didn’t like David either. She was the boss and no one dictated to her who she should employ and who she should not. With a frown, Syssi asked, “What I don’t understand, though, is why you hired him if you don’t like him?”

  “He was the best applicant for the job. And besides, I hired him because I don’t like him.”

  “So am I to assume that you don’t like me either? Since you hired me...” Syssi pretended offense.

  “No, my dear, sweet Syssi, I adore you. You know that!” Amanda slapped her cheek playfully, then kissed it. “I hire females I like and males I don’t.”

  Searching her face, Syssi realized Amanda wasn’t joking. Her boss seemed sincere. “I don’t understand.”

  “Better shun the bait, than struggle in the snare,” Amanda quoted, looking down at her stiletto-clad feet.

  “Oh, Amanda, you’re not that bad. I don’t buy the whole femme fatale act.”

  “Who said it’s an act? I am bad. You have no idea how bad!” Amanda made a wicked face.

  “You witch!” Syssi laughed, mock-punching Amanda’s shoulder.

  Amanda shrugged, pushed away from the counter, and headed for her desk with the sensual saunter of a practiced temptress.

  Syssi didn’t buy Amanda’s sex-on-a-stick act. It was nothing more than the theatrics of a drama queen. Being so strikingly beautiful, her boss naturally expected to be the center of attention wherever she showed her face.

  Except, was it possible that she really was as sexually active as she claimed to be? Maybe.

  And why not? Amanda wasn’t married—didn’t even have a boyfriend—she could and did as she pleased.

  Good for her!

  Reflecting on her own nonexistent love life, Syssi cringed. She hadn’t been on a single date since things had finally fallen apart with Gregg. For two lonely years, she’d mourned a relationship that had been dying a slow death long before it had ended. Though, in retrospect, she realized it was the sense of failure more than any lingering tender feelings that had her stuck on the sidelines while everyone around her was having the time of their lives, or at least pretending to.

  Syssi had met Gregg her first week of college, and they’d stayed together until his graduation four years later. Being her first serious boyfriend, and her first and only lover, there had been this expectation that their relationship would lead to marriage. Except, when he had moved to Sacramento for a job, it had been a relief for both of them.

  So why was she still alone? Syssi had no good answer for that. Men found her attractive, and she didn’t lack propositions, but there was no one she found even remotely enticing. Except the guy from her dreams, that is, but he didn’t count.

  Her relationship with Gregg had left her wary of starting a new one. For some reason, being with him had dimmed her spirit, and two years later it hadn’t bounced back yet.

  Most of the time he probably hadn’t been aware of acting like a jerk, never actually saying or doing anything that could have been perceived as outright offensive or belittling.

  Instead, he’d just always managed to twist things around and blame her for everything that hadn’t been working to his satisfaction. His grades falling short of spectacular had been her fault because she had taken too much of his time. They hadn’t gone out enough because she hadn’t scheduled and planned it. They hadn’t had enough friends because she hadn’t been outgoing enough… and so it went.

  But the worst part had been the sex. There had been no intensity to it, no excitement, it’d felt like a chore. Was it a wonder then, that she hadn’t been looking forward to it? And of course, it had been all her fault. She hadn’t initiated enough, she hadn’t excited him enough. She hadn’t been hot enough.

  Blah, blah, blah...

  Logically, she knew he had been full of shit. Where had been his contribution? Had he been just a bystander in their life together, waiting for her to do everything? But on the inside, in that irrational place where her fears and insecurities hid, she sometimes thought that maybe he had been right. Maybe she really wasn’t assertive enough, outgoing enough, sexy enough...

  Lacking... She felt lacking.

  Syssi shook herself. That’s definitely enough self-pity for one day.

  And besides, not all of it had been bad. Gregg had stood by her side in her time of need. He had been loyal, and apart from the never-ending complaining, a pleasure to talk to.

  But when the relationship had ended, she’d focused on the negatives; the bad parts had been vividly remembered and endlessly reexamined, while the good parts had been marginalized, forgotten.

  It was time to move on, though. Maybe she should try some of the blind dates her friends were trying to set her up on. Or even look into those dating sites Hannah had suggested. But although Syssi had promised herself she would do it, she still hadn’t taken a single step in this direction. Tomorrow, next week…

  “Yo! Syssi! Your cell phone is ringing!” Hannah called from the other room.

  “Coming!” Syssi hurried to retrieve her phone from her purse. But by the time she fished it out, her brother’s call had already gone to voice mail. And if that wasn’t frustrating enough, David’s salami breath assaulted her as he bent over her shoulder to look at her screen, invading her personal space.

  “Amanda said you needed my help,” he breathed into her ear. “For a kiss, I’m willing to do you a favor,” he added with a smirk, amused by his own wit.

  “Cut it out, David, and please move your salami breath away from me. You know I can’t stand the smell of meat,” Syssi snapped. Pushing to her feet, she almost toppled her chair backward, forcing David to back up.

  His eyes widened. “That was such a bitchy retort, so unlike our polite, proper Syssi. It was hot!” He leered before taking the seat she’d vacated.

  “You want me. I know you do. That’s why you’re so flustered.” He winked and started scrolling through the program. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll take good care of you.” His hands flew over her keyboard, his concentration not at all affected by his sorry attempts at flirting.

  She had to hand it to him. David had a way with computers that he definitely lacked with women.

  With his face almost touching the screen, he kept going, “Nothing turns me on like a strong, assertive woman. I’ll scrub my mouth with thorny roses for a kiss from you.” Riding on a wave of his fetid breath, David’s whispered poetic attempt did nothing but trigger Syssi’s gag reflex.

  She couldn’t believe it. Instead of discouraged, he seemed even more determined.

  “Look, David, I’m going to return this call, and you are going to find out what’s wrong with my program. Not as a favor, but because it’s your job. Amanda hired you for your programming skills. It sure as hell wasn’t for your charming personality!”

  “Oh, baby, you have no idea how hot you look when you’re angry.”

  “Ugh! I’m going to strangle him!” Syssi kicked the leg of the chair he was sitting in.


  Snorting, Hannah shook her head.

  “It’s not funny!” Syssi barked and walked out the door.

  She hated confrontations. Especially futile ones like this. But at least David was going to fix her programming. Except, what would it take to fix him? For some reason, a vet with a scalpel came to mind.

  Leaning against the wall, she banged her head. Today was such a shitty day, with her shortcomings and insecurities popping up like teenage zits. Just when she thought she was rid of them for good, they returned sprouting white heads. More than the confrontations themselves, she hated how ill-equipped she was to deal with them. Why the hell was it so hard for her to assert herself or show her temper?

  Even now, her hands were still shaking, and she had to take a long calming breath before returning her brother’s call. If Andrew detected her agitation, he would start a full-blown interrogation. And she was so not in the mood for that.

  He answered on the first ring. “Hi, Syssi, how’s the new job?”

  “It’s okay. Though I really suck at programming. Other than that, Amanda is a great boss and the work is interesting.” Syssi paused before plunging. “You really should come visit. The woman is a stunner, and I would pay good money to see your jaw drop when you see her. The great Andrew Spivak will be speechless!”

  Syssi was joking. Nothing ever fazed Andrew. But he was single and so was Amanda. Who knew what might happen if the two got together...

  “You have piqued my curiosity. Though I doubt she’s all that. Anyway, I spoke with Dad today.”

  “Yeah? How are they? What are they up to?”

  Their parents were volunteering in Africa. Her mother, Dr. Anita Spivak, a retired sixty-six-year-old pediatrician, was working twelve-hour shifts in the harsh conditions of the ravaged region, providing much needed medical care to its children. Syssi’s father, who had spent his professional career as a pharmaceutical sales rep and later as an executive, was enjoying his retirement; photographing nature and wildlife while helping his wife.