The Melody of Light

by M. L. Rice

  Riley didn’t know how to respond to that, so she attempted to hide her blush with a large swig of the Sprite she was drinking.

  “So. How are things in your world?” Beth asked.

  Riley set her glass down and shrugged. “College has been…confusing for me. But things are pretty good overall. I can’t really complain.”

  “Making friends?”

  She shrugged. “There’s Koji at work, a couple of people in the music school, and Tori.” Her ears turned pink.

  Beth shifted as if nervous to ask the next question. “What about that guy? The one you were with at the coffee shop at the start of school. You two seemed…close.”

  Riley smiled. Beth was trying to find out if she was seeing anyone. If any other girl had asked about Aidan, she would have assumed they were interested in him. But not Beth. As bad as she was at reading people she could see this. She decided to not let her in on the truth just yet. Just to see what happened. “That’s Aidan. Isn’t he just unbelievably hot?”

  Beth’s face fell. “Oh. Yeah. I mean, if that’s your type. You guys are…cute together.” Her expression showed that she didn’t think they were the least bit cute together.

  “Our parents thought so.”

  Beth looked confused, so Riley decided to put her out of her misery. She leaned forward and said, “Aidan is my brother.”

  Beth looked happily surprised. “Oh. Oh! Yeah, of course he is. Well then, you guys are cute together.”

  Riley sat back and shrugged. “Aidan is the heartthrob. I’m the brain.”

  “I think you’re a lot more than that.”

  The comment was so straightforward that Riley blinked and found herself dumbstruck.

  Beth continued, “Something about you…” She looked muddled. “I’m not good at this, but what I guess I’m saying is that I want to know more about you. You seem…guarded. Like you’re afraid to let people in to see the real you.”

  “Maybe I’m just shy.”

  “Yeah,” agreed Beth. “I get that because I am too, but there’s something else.” She gazed at Riley deep in thought and then must have realized what she was doing. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to pry. You just…intrigue me. That’s all. I’m sorry.”

  Riley shook her head. “No need to be sorry. I’m flattered that you’re interested in learning more about me. That doesn’t happen often.” She smiled but said nothing more because she was still afraid to share her background with Beth. She felt more comfortable with her already than she ever had with anyone else, but her walls were still a fortress of self-protection and not even Beth had the power to breach them quite yet.

  Beth must have realized this so she changed the subject. “So. How are you liking Austin so far?”

  Riley smiled. “It’s so much better than Whitehill I can’t even begin to tell you. Of course, I’ve really only hung around campus, but even sitting at Metro Haus is better than Whitehill. It doesn’t take much.”

  “Have you ever been to a Longhorn football game?”

  Riley shook her head.

  “Okay, that’s on your must-do list as a student here, and Austin is out there waiting too. There’s lots more to see. Have you been to the state capitol?”

  “Nope. Unless you count just looking at it down Congress Avenue.”

  “What about Lady Bird Lake?”

  “Crossed over it a few times.”

  “Have you seen the bats?”

  “What bats?”

  Beth feigned being appalled. “The Congress Avenue Mexican free-tailed bats!”

  Riley looked skeptical. “Yeah, you just put a whole bunch of random words together and lost me.”

  Beth laughed. “Austin is home to the world’s largest urban bat population, and they live under the South Congress Avenue Bridge. That’s only in the summer, though. What about swimming in Barton Springs? It’s too cold now, but add that to your list. Let me think of what else…” She paused and chewed on her bottom lip pensively. “Live music?”

  “Other than class?”

  “Austin is the live music capital of the world! Okay. I know what we’re doing this weekend.”

  Riley looked surprised.

  “Oh. Sorry. I mean, are you free this weekend? To do some sightseeing? I’m a great tour guide. If you want.” She looked hopeful.

  Riley beamed. “Totally free.”

  Beth looked relieved. “Perfect. I promise I won’t let you down. We’re going to have a blast.”

  It was hands-down the most pleasant evening Riley had ever had with a friend. Before the meal was even over, she found herself counting down the hours until the weekend tour.

  *

  Nothing could have prepared Riley for the two days she spent with Beth. True to her word, Beth had proven to be a excellent tour guide, and Riley could now say that she had been an enthusiastic part of the screaming crowd of 80,000 at a home football game which the Longhorns won, she had taken a tour of the state capitol building, and she and Beth had even gone kayaking on Lady Bird Lake after having a picnic in Zilker Park on a breezy and chilly Sunday afternoon.

  Now, following a live acoustic set by a local musician at Emo’s, they sat out on the porch of the Dog and Duck pub sipping on virgin piña coladas and eating French fries. Riley still felt slightly awkward around Beth because she didn’t know if her growing feelings for her were starting to show. Beth, however, seemed more outgoing and open than she ever had.

  “See what I mean?” Beth continued their conversation as Riley poured more malt vinegar onto the fries. “Live music capital of the world. There were so many shows to choose from tonight, but I’ve heard that artist before and thought you might like her.”

  “I did! I had no idea there was so much to do beyond campus. I mean, Aidan, Koji, and I went to Sixth Street once, but that was just kind of meh. The boys drank most of the time and it was fun to hang out, but for the most part, I think I’m more of the quiet type. I’d much rather go to a show or watch a movie.”

  “Oh! That reminds me. Another Austin must-do is the Alamo Drafthouse theater. They serve you food while you watch the movie. Uh-mazing. They play a lot of indie and art house films too, so there’s always something cool happening.”

  Riley smiled and asked, “Are you inviting me to a movie? Haven’t gotten sick of me yet?”

  Despite her outward confidence, Beth blushed. “Yes to the movie. Definitely no to the second.”

  Here they were, flirting again. And with every passing minute, Riley was feeling more and more attachment to her. What worried her was whether her feelings were simply relief that she had finally found someone who liked her so much or whether she was actually starting to have real feelings for Beth. She had never really liked anyone before…except Tori, of course, but this felt different. She didn’t want to stop looking at her in case she missed one of her cute grins. She didn’t want her to ever stop speaking because everything she said seemed to have the weight of the world riding on it.

  This was definitely turning into a pretty major crush, and every second cemented the attraction.

  “Thanks, Beth,” Riley said sincerely.

  “For what? Asking you to a movie?”

  “For all of this. You’ve been really cool and I appreciate that. I had a blast this weekend. Best weekend I’ve ever had in my life if I’m being totally honest.” She shrugged sheepishly.

  Beth laughed. “You must have had a really boring life then!”

  Riley’s smile fell and she looked down to her fingers as she fidgeted with her fork.

  Beth noticed because she said, “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I didn’t mean it. You said you had it tough growing up, and I shouldn’t open my stupid mouth about things I know nothing about. Please forget I said anything, and God, I’m stupid. I’m sorry.”

  Riley looked up to see Beth red and shame-faced. She really seemed horrified that she had said something offensive. Feeling sorry for her, Riley reached out and took Beth’s hand in her ow
n, giving it a small squeeze. “No need to be sorry. Really.” She didn’t want to go into details about her childhood. Not yet. Instead she said, “No, my childhood wasn’t the best, but it could have been much, much worse. I saw and heard about much worse where I grew up. And hey,” she said, brightening, “even if I had grown up going to Disneyland every day of my life, this still would have been the best weekend I’ve ever had and that’s because of you.”

  Beth smiled appreciatively, but she had grown quiet again as if afraid of saying the wrong thing. Riley didn’t want that at all. She was enjoying their growing level of comfort with each other and definitely didn’t want her issues to come between them or drive Beth away.

  Realizing she was still holding Beth’s hand, Riley let go abruptly and placed her hands in her own lap. “So. How are your classes going?” she asked to change the subject.

  “Ugh.” Beth groaned as she tilted her head back and became more animated again. “My sophomore year is harder than my freshman year. And I’m assuming next year will be even worse and on and on and so goes life.”

  “Surely it’s not that bad.”

  “No. It’s not. Just a lot of work. There are parts of this year that are better than last, though.” She smiled at Riley affectionately. “What about yours?”

  Riley’s cheeks warmed and she leaned back in her chair and took a deep breath of the clean Texas air. “My year is definitely better than last too, but there’s not much competition. I…” She paused, wondering how much she should say. “I struggle with things, with how I feel about what happens in my life. It’s not always easy, but I will say that people like my friends Koji and Tori…and now you…you guys have made all the difference in the world. This may have been just a tour around town for most people, but to me it was proof that there’s more out there for me. I just have to be willing to go for it.”

  Beth smiled and they gazed at each other for a long while. Finally, the spell was broken when four drunk patrons stumbled out onto the porch and started singing terrible renditions of classic rock songs at the tops of their lungs.

  Riley winced and said, “I think that’s our cue.”

  Beth nodded and stood to leave. “Agreed. It’s late anyway. I have class early tomorrow.”

  Riley joined her. “Me too. Nothing says ‘good morning!’ like a monotone lecture about the politics of the Civil War Reconstruction period.”

  “Snooze. I get it. I have Chem first thing. It’s such a great idea to have labs with volatile chemicals with students who are either half-asleep, hungover, or even still drunk from the night before in some cases.”

  They got into Beth’s car and started the short drive back to campus.

  Beth yawned as she drove. “God, I’m exhausted. And really out of shape!” She rolled her neck from side to side trying to stretch it out. “I didn’t realize how much work kayaking would be after not doing it for a year.”

  Riley realized that she too was tired and could feel the welcome soreness beginning in between her shoulder blades. “Me too, but I needed that. I don’t get up and move nearly enough.”

  “Anytime you want to go again just let me know.”

  Beth pulled over on the street next to Riley’s dorm. She seemed timid again. “So.”

  “So.” Riley smiled, feeling like every limb was in a stupid position. “Thanks again. Really. I had a blast.”

  “No problem. I’ll see you soon?” It was a hopeful question.

  “Definitely. Have a good day tomorrow. Don’t study too hard.”

  Beth snorted. “That’s like telling steel ships not to oxidize and rust on the ocean floor.” At Riley’s blank stare, she shifted uncomfortably and said, “Sorry. Oceanography student.”

  Riley laughed. “’Night, Beth. Thanks again.” She got out of the car, shut the door behind her, and turned to walk away. She swore she heard Beth curse to herself as she drove away. Riley knew that feeling intimately. She chuckled to herself.

  Walking back to her dorm room, Riley felt a little lighter. The demon of fear and uncertainty that lurked in her chest had quieted some, but still made sure his presence was acknowledged. Still, Riley actually felt excited at the possibility of gaining a best friend. She knew Beth could be that person for her. Never had she connected with someone so easily. Maybe she should stop worrying so much. Things weren’t looking so bad after all.

  She opened the door to her room and was relieved to see that Brooke wasn’t there. Maybe she would spend the night at her boyfriend’s place again. Riley still hadn’t gathered the courage to talk to Beth about how she felt regarding their situation, but at least now she had the time to spend alone working on an English essay.

  Riley opened up her laptop and pulled the power cord out of her backpack. She crawled under her desk and plugged the cord into the wall, but then something caught her eye. There was a brief reflection of light from the edge of her desk on the side that ran along the far wall. She picked up a small object from where it had gotten lodged in the rug. What she held was a small diamond in a gold setting. She had just found Brooke’s lost pendant! Excitement flooded through her. Brooke was going to be so happy about this that Riley was sure that any difficult conversation they had to have would be so much easier. Maybe Brooke would even start to respect her a little now.

  Riley stood with a smile and placed the diamond in a decorative bowl on Brooke’s desk. She also wrote a note telling her where she had found it and expressing her joy at having Brooke not have to worry about it anymore. She knew that Brooke would probably find it tomorrow afternoon.

  Riley plopped down into her own desk chair and powered on her computer, ready to write her English paper and feeling wary, but immensely satisfied with the way things were starting to go in her life.

  Chapter Twelve

  The next afternoon, after she was done with her classes, Riley entered her dorm room and found Brooke sitting cross-legged on her bed, her computer open in front of her. Riley smiled broadly, glancing at the bowl where she had left the found pendant. It was gone so she knew that Brooke had gotten it back. She looked at Brooke for thanks, but saw only a fake smile over pursed lips.

  “Hey! Did you see that I found your necklace?” Riley ventured anyway, hoping for a better reaction.

  Brooke nodded curtly. “Yeah. Thanks.”

  Riley’s smile fell. Why did Brooke look so angry? “Oh. Good. I hope…I hope you feel better now.”

  Brooke nodded again and looked back to her computer screen, typing loudly.

  Riley was so confused. She had pinned so many hopes on her good fortune of finding the necklace helping to repair their relationship. She didn’t know what else to do, so she put her backpack down, grabbed her music folder, and quietly left to go to the music building for rehearsal. She seethed with anger. Nothing she did would ever be good enough for that girl.

  *

  “Riley.”

  She looked up from her music, the cello still resting snugly between her legs. Orchestra rehearsal had ended, but Riley had stayed behind to work on a section of music that all of the other, more experienced cellists seemed to have no trouble with. Riley felt like she was trying to tie her fingers in knots just to get half of the notes right, and she was furious with herself.

  “What?” she asked irritably.

  “Whoa, Miss Piss Pants. What’s up with you today?”

  Riley looked up to see Tori standing next to her. “Oh. Sorry. It’s just this stupid run. I can’t get it right. I’m the only one too. My inexperience is showing.”

  Tori actually laughed. “Youngest cellist in the university’s top orchestra and you’re struggling with a run. Look at me cry my face off.” Tori was still holding her violin, so she played a melodramatic and depressing melody.

  This made Riley feel overdramatic, so she laughed at herself.

  “Come on. Movie night. You and me.” Tori picked Riley’s music up from the stand and put it away in the waiting folder.

  “What?”

&
nbsp; “Did I or did I not say that you needed to relax?”

  “You said—”

  “Just get up. Or is your dance card too full to make time for me?”

  “My dance…what?”

  Tori rolled her eyes. “God, we need to get you out more.”

  *

  “Three and a half stars,” Tori said as they walked from the movie theater to a local bar by campus.

  “Out of five or out of ten?”

  “Out of fifty.”

  “Damn. I’d say at least a four with that scoring system.”

  Tori shook her head as they crossed the street. “I’m sorry I subjected you to that. Who knew a movie about a Nazi-fighting vampire chick could be so bad? I figured that a free movie at the Union would be worth it, but no amount of gratis could make up for those two lost hours of my life.”

  Riley shrugged. “Still better than continuously banging my head against the wall in the music building.”

  “Well, here’s to a better rest of the night.” Tori put her arm around Riley’s waist as they walked into the bar.

  Tori led her over to a table occupied by several other women who were also in various stages of proximity to each other. Riley noticed the other patrons of the bar, mostly fraternity types, staring and smirking at them.

  Oooh, Riley thought. Right.

  “Ladies, Riley. Riley, ladies.” The women at the table waved and made room for them to sit down.

  “You’re starting to get to them young, Tor,” a tall woman with a shaved head said from the other end of the table.

  Tori rolled her eyes and whispered in Riley’s ear, “Ignore them. They’re crass sometimes.”

  “Oh, I’m crass all the time,” said the woman, who had obviously overheard.

  Riley smiled with embarrassment. She had never hung out with a group of lesbians before. She had known she was gay for a long time, but with no crushes and no girlfriends, it honestly never made any difference in her life. Right now she felt uneasy. Not because she was surrounded by lesbians, but because she felt like she didn’t fit in. These girls were like Tori. Older, experienced, and way too cool.