by M. L. Rice
They walked in silence down the stairs to the first floor of the music building and as they entered the room, Riley gasped as she saw every single chair filled and a line of six fully uniformed Marines standing against the wall, waiting to welcome her in.
She looked at them in bewilderment. She knew these faces. They were all in Aidan’s unit. Rafael smiled at her sympathetically with pain in his own eyes.
Craig turned her to face him. “Riley, we all want you to know that, even though it’s not the same, you will never be without brothers.” He gestured to the Marines standing at attention along the wall and then took her hand in his. “We will always be here for you. He was our brother, and now we are yours. Forever.”
Tears spilled down Riley’s face once again. This time, however, she heard other sniffs from the audience and looked to see many wiping their own eyes. Beth, in particular, seemed to have lost her composure.
“Thank you.” Riley hiccupped quietly in between great gasps of air. “Thank you.” They were the only words she could think of that meant enough.
Beth, still sniffling herself, brought over a box of tissues for Riley to use and then said, “Ready?” in a wavering voice.
Riley nodded and sat on the lone chair facing the stepped seating in front of her. She was awestruck by the show of support in the room. There was Beth, now sitting between Koji and Tori on the front row. Koji’s boyfriend sat next to him and on the other side of Tori sat Professor Cryder, beaming with pride. Completing the first row were Mr. and Mrs. Earle, also wiping their eyes and smiling as if she were their own daughter. The rest of the chairs were filled her fellow music school students and symphony orchestra members.
Riley’s heart was immeasurably sore and weary, yet she had never felt so much love in her life. Her soul was positively bursting with it. She realized for the first time that, although she had never had the family she had wanted growing up, a true family was one whom she chose and who chose her. Looking from the audience to the Marines standing against the wall, she saw the love and support of that new family. Aidan, a forever-missing piece of her heart, was gone, but she would never be alone again.
Trembling, she picked up her cello and placed it snuggly between her knees. She glanced back at her accompanist and nodded. The room silenced. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and readied her bow above the cello’s taut strings.
The pianist started playing the first notes of Dvorak’s fittingly titled “Songs My Mother Taught Me.” When Riley pressed her bow down and felt the familiar vibrations of sound, she experienced a true sense of peace for the first time since that terrible day. She saw her mother, eyes closed and smiling, as she played the song on repeat while Riley and Aidan played with Legos on the living room carpet. She saw herself sitting in the Home’s activity room struggling to move her bow in time with her fingers, Aidan teasing her playfully. She saw Aidan glowing with pride from the audience of her first youth symphony concert.
When the piece was finished, she moved on to her mother’s favorite song, “Traumerei” by Robert Schumann. This was the one piece of music that Riley felt captured her desire for happiness and healing in the face of this tragedy. To her it conveyed a feeling of gentle hope, even in the midst of sometimes fiery doubt and fear.
Finally, to end the recital, she played a song that she had only recently discovered. It wasn’t her mother’s and it wasn’t something that Aidan knew. It was a piece she had fallen in love with that she had wanted to share with her brother when he returned from overseas. It was the music she had chosen to thank him for his unwavering love and support. She would share it with him now, in front of his brothers, her colleagues, and her friends.
She looked around the room again, smiling gratefully to those who were there to share the moment with her. Beth and Tori were both weeping openly. Beth mouthed, “I love you.”
Riley swallowed hard, but mouthed the words back, looked to the vast sky beyond the ceiling, and then closed her eyes once more.
The passionate notes of “Gabriel’s Oboe” by Ennio Morricone flowed from her instrument. She swayed, lost in the insistent emotions of the melody. For just a little while, she was part of the music again. She and Aidan were together once more.
As the song neared its end, Riley felt as if she really was saying good-bye. She had fought the knowledge of her brother’s death. She had succumbed to despondency even to the point of wanting to take her own life. And she had known pain beyond anything she had thought she could possibly endure. The pain was still there. It still stabbed. It still seared. But there was also love, a love that would always remain with her. A love that was now being offered and strengthened by so many others.
The finals notes of the piece faded into the air like mist, and she could hear his words once more.
I need you to be strong now, Riley.
She didn’t hear the audience applauding her performance. She didn’t see them wiping their eyes. But she did feel Beth’s warm hand close around her own. She felt Tori take her cello from her, and she automatically rose from the chair and bowed to her friends.
When she straightened, she managed to choke out, “Words…will never be able to convey my appreciation. For all of you. For this. Thank you.”
Loving faces radiated back at her.
Beth stepped in front of her, cheeks stained with a flow of tears, and said, “You are the most amazing woman in the world, Riley Gordon. I love you. I will always love you.”
Riley smiled, wrapped her arms around the woman she knew she would love for the rest of her life, and buried her face in her neck. They stood in their embrace for a long while. The audience filed out quietly until Riley and Beth were left alone in the room. Beth finally pulled away enough to place the softest of kisses on Riley’s lips. They were salty from the mixture of both their tears.
Everything had changed. Nothing in her life would ever be the same. She knew she would never be able to get over her loss, but at the same time she realized that the world would continue to spin on and on. But now, with her soul mate at her side and Aidan in her heart, she would hang on for dear life.
“Are you ready?”
Riley took a deep breath and nodded.
Hand in hand, they walked out together. With Beth leading the way, Riley left the darkness behind and reemerged into the light.
About the Author
M.L. Rice was born and raised in the plains of Texas. She graduated with a degree in radio / TV / film from the University of Texas at Austin, where she was a proud member of the Longhorn Marching and Basketball Bands. After college she moved to sunny Los Angeles, where she currently lives with her wife and three cats. She enjoys scuba diving, hiking, kayaking, swimming, spending too much time on video games, going to the theater, and playing in Disneyland. She volunteers for various nonprofit organizations, travels whenever she can, collects and plays multiple instruments including the trumpet, cello, and great highland bagpipes, and is also a member of the U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary.
Soliloquy Titles From Bold Strokes Books
The Melody of Light by M.L. Rice. After surviving abuse and loss, will Riley Gordon be able to navigate her first year of college and accept true love and family? (78-1-62639-219-9)
Maxine Wore Black by Nora Olsen. Jayla will do anything for Maxine, the girl of her dreams, but after becoming ensnared in Maxine’s dark secrets, she’ll have to choose between love and her own life. (978-1-62639-208-3)
Bottled Up Secret by Brian McNamara. When Brendan Madden befriends his gorgeous, athletic classmate, Mark, it doesn’t take long for Brendan to fall head over heels for him—but will Mark reciprocate the feelings? (978-1-62639-209-0)
Searching for Grace by Juliann Rich. First it’s a rumor. Then it’s a fact. And then it’s on. (978-1-62639-196-3)
Dark Tide by Greg Herren. A summer working as a lifeguard at a hotel on the Gulf Coast seems like a dream job…until Ricky Hackworth realizes the town is shielding some very dark—and deadly—sec
rets. (978-1-62639-197-0)
Everything Changes by Samantha Hale. Raven Walker’s world is turned upside down the moment Morgan O’Shea walks into her life. (978-1-62639-303-5)
Fifty Yards and Holding by David Matthew-Barnes. The discovery of a secret relationship between Riley Brewer, the star of the high school baseball team, and Victor Alvarez, the leader of a violent street gang, escalates into a preventable tragedy. (978-1-62639-081-2)
Tristant and Elijah by Jennifer Lavoie. After Elijah finds a scandalous letter belonging to Tristant’s great-uncle, the boys set out to discover the secret Uncle Glenn kept hidden his entire life and end up discovering who they are in the process. (978-1-62639-075-1)
Caught in the Crossfire by Juliann Rich. Two boys at Bible camp; one forbidden love. (978-1-62639-070-6)
Frenemy of the People by Nora Olsen. Clarissa and Lexie have despised each other for as long as they can remember, but when they both find themselves helping an unlikely contender for homecoming queen, they are catapulted into an unexpected romance. (978-1-62639-063-8)
The Balance by Neal Wooten. Love and survival come together in the distant future as Piri and Niko face off against the worst factions of mankind’s evolution. (978-1-62639-055-3)
The Unwanted by Jeffrey Ricker. Jamie Thomas is plunged into danger when he discovers his mother is an Amazon who needs his help to save the tribe from a vengeful god. (978-1-62639-048-5)
Because of Her by KE Payne. When Tabby Morton is forced to move to London, she’s convinced her life will never be the same again. But the beautiful and intriguing Eden Palmer is about to show her that this time, change is most definitely for the better. (978-1-62639-049-2)
The Seventh Pleiade by Andrew J. Peters. When Atlantis is besieged by violent storms, tremors, and a barbarian army, it will be up to a young gay prince to find a way for the kingdom’s survival. (978-1-60282-960-2)
Asher’s Fault by Elizabeth Wheeler. Fourteen-year-old Asher Price sees the world in black and white, much like the photos he takes, but when his little brother drowns at the same moment Asher experiences his first same-sex kiss, he can no longer hide behind the lens of his camera and eventually discovers he isn’t the only one with a secret. (978-1-60282-982-4)
Meeting Chance by Jennifer Lavoie. When man’s best friend turns on Aaron Cassidy, the teen keeps his distance until fate puts Chance in his hands. (978-1-60282-952-7)
Lake Thirteen by Greg Herren. A visit to an old cemetery seems like fun to a group of five teenagers, who soon learn that sometimes it’s best to leave old ghosts alone. (978-1-60282-894-0)
The Road to Her by KE Payne. Sparks fly when actress Holly Croft, star of UK soap Portobello Road, meets her new on-screen love interest, the enigmatic and sexy Elise Manford. (978-1-60282-887-2)
Swans and Clons by Nora Olsen. In a future world where there are no males, sixteen-year-old Rubric and her girlfriend Salmon Jo must fight to survive when everything they believed in turns out to be a lie. (978-1-60282-874-2)
Kings of Ruin by Sam Cameron. High school student Danny Kelly and loner Kevin Clark must team up to defeat a top-secret alien intelligence that likes to wreak havoc with fiery car, truck, and train accidents. (978-1-60282-864-3)
Wonderland by David-Matthew Barnes. After her mother’s sudden death, Destiny Moore is sent to live with her two gay uncles on Avalon Cove, a mysterious island on which she uncovers a secret place called Wonderland, where love and magic prove to be real. (978-1-60282-788-2)
Another 365 Days by KE Payne. Clemmie Atkins is back, and her life is more complicated than ever! Still madly in love with her girlfriend, Clemmie suddenly finds her life turned upside down with distractions, confessions, and the return of a familiar face… (978-1-60282-775-2)
The Secret of Othello by Sam Cameron. Florida teen detectives Steven and Denny risk their lives to search for a sunken NASA satellite—but under the waves, no one can hear you scream… (978-1-60282-742-4)
Andy Squared by Jennifer Lavoie. Andrew never thought anyone could come between him and his twin sister, Andrea…until Ryder rode into town. (978-1-60282-743-1)
Sara by Greg Herren. A mysterious and beautiful new student at Southern Heights High School stirs things up when students start dying. (978-1-60282-674-8)
Boys of Summer, edited by Steve Berman. Stories of young love and adventure, when the sky’s ceiling is a bright blue marvel, when another boy’s laughter at the beach can distract from dull summer jobs. (978-1-60282-663-2)
Street Dreams by Tama Wise. Tyson Rua has more than his fair share of problems growing up in New Zealand—he’s gay, he’s falling in love, and he’s run afoul of the local hip-hop crew leader just as he’s trying to make it as a graffiti artist. (978-1-60282-650-2)
[email protected] by KE Payne. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you’ve never met? Imogen Summers thinks so because it’s happened to her. (978-1-60282-592-5)
Swimming to Chicago by David-Matthew Barnes. As the lives of the adults around them unravel, high school students Alex and Robby form an unbreakable bond, vowing to do anything to stay together—even if it means leaving everything behind. (978-1-60282-572-7)
365 Days by KE Payne. Life sucks when you’re seventeen years old and confused about your sexuality, and the girl of your dreams doesn’t even know you exist. Then in walks sexy new emo girl, Hannah Harrison. Clemmie Atkins has exactly 365 days to discover herself, and she’s going to have a blast doing it! (978-1-60282-540-6)
Timothy by Greg Herren. Timothy is a romantic suspense thriller from award-winning mystery writer Greg Herren set in the fabulous Hamptons. (978-1-60282-760-8)