A Breath of Magic

by Tracy Madison

  My flight was on Friday, a mere three days away. We were going to settle the weirdness between us once and for all, and strangely that decision had come about because of Ben and Gabe. They would likely never cross the chasm between them. With what had occurred, I didn’t blame Ben for that at all, but my relationship with my sister was different. We could become close again. At least, I hoped we could.

  There was something else in my mind too, something that I hadn’t yet decided but wouldn’t unless I was sitting across from Sheridan. So yes, this visit had to happen now.

  I dragged my eyes to the clock, noting that Ben should be arriving soon. I’d called him the prior evening after talking with Miranda. Instead of going to his house as originally planned, I’d stayed at home. Mostly because I didn’t trust the strength of my emotions combined with the potency of my magic. I was afraid of myself.

  My heart ached as I considered my plans for the evening, what had to happen after I brought Mari to us and, if things went well, she moved on to be with her mother. But I had to trust myself and my instincts. That’s what I was doing. Either the result would be huge and glorious, or it would be nothing short of horrendous. I drew in a long, deliberately slow breath and then exhaled just as slowly.

  I’d told Ben to come in the rear entrance, so I switched the lights off in the front part of the store and hurried into the back room. There, I continued my methodical breathing and retrieved the candles I’d brought from home. Silly, maybe, but even though I had candles of every size, shape and color here at the store, I wanted the ones I’d used with Miranda. I placed them on the table unlit and collapsed in my desk chair. Ben knocked on the door two minutes later.

  “Punctual as always,” I said, gesturing him inside. He entered, and I faced him, soaking in his appearance. Just in case I never saw him again. Tonight he wore the same jeans he had during our first date, and he looked just as handsome, just as rugged and just as sexy. My eyes traveled up his body. His cobalt blue shirt fit him well, not too loose and not too tight. Somehow, his eyes looked even bluer than normal. Impossible.

  “You look sad,” Ben said, advancing into the room. “Are you worried about me? About how I’ll react to…whatever is going to happen here tonight?”

  I nodded. Not only because his assumption was correct, but also because it extended beyond connecting with Mari. “Just a little. But you’re here now, and I’m really glad to see you.”

  “Are you—? You really think you know how to bring her to us? Is there a chance she’s already moved on, and that’s why you haven’t seen her?” Tendrils of doubt clung to his every word, probably because I hadn’t “seen” his daughter since my confession.

  Well, I’d fix that tonight, if nothing else—assuming Miranda was right. “I’ve…ah…done a little research, so I’m as close to positive as I can be until we try. And no, I don’t believe she’s moved on.”

  “But I won’t be able to see or hear her?”

  I swallowed, trying to dispel the lump in my throat. “If you haven’t seen or heard her on your own, then I don’t believe you’ll be able to tonight. But think of something I can ask her that I wouldn’t know. You need to be one hundred percent sure that I’m being honest with you.”

  This was a must.

  He closed his eyes and his shoulders tensed. Without thought, I approached him and lightly touched his cheek and then his hair. “I’d say that we don’t have to do this if you’re having second thoughts, but we need to. For Mari.” For him too, but I knew his concern for his daughter would outweigh his fears and skepticism.

  He opened his eyes. “I’m trusting you, Red. I don’t know what else to say.”

  I heard his sentiment loud and clear: I’m trusting you, so don’t let me down. “You can have faith in this. I promise.” I rubbed my thumb along his jaw. “Do you want to talk about what I think will happen first, or do you just want to get on with it?”

  He grabbed my hand in his, shaking his head. “I don’t want to have any expectations or assumptions. So yeah, I guess we—you—should do whatever it is you need to. And tell me what I should be doing.”

  I squeezed his hand and then leaned in and gave him a gentle, lingering kiss. He returned it, his fingers weaving into my hair, drawing me closer. The emotions between us were soft, tender and far more about offering each other comfort than anything else.

  When the kiss ended, I forced my legs to take me to the table, where I lit the candles. More nervous than I expected, I skimmed my hands along my pants. “I’m ready. You can stand or sit down, whichever you prefer, and I need you to think about Marissa—her face, her voice, the sound of her laugh. Your memories of her. If you do that, I’ll be able to do my part.”

  He gave a quick nod. “I’ll stand.”

  Then I would too. “There might be wind. Or…um…colors. Or something else. Just so you’re not surprised.” He nodded again, and I moved into position next to him, clasping his hand. “I don’t know if this is necessary, but it can’t hurt.”

  Faint humor touched his face. “It might even help.”

  I grinned. “Yes.”

  With nothing else to say, I closed my eyes and brought every memory I had of Mari to the surface. Again, like with Miranda, once I had the girl’s image I grasped on tight and delved deep inside of myself. The power there had almost become second nature. One long breath in, another out, and I envisioned my energy as a vine, climbing higher and higher, reaching from me, beyond me, toward Mari.

  Electricity—hot, fast and sharp—sizzled in the air, blazed along my skin and funneled through my hand into Ben’s. I heard him gasp, so I gripped his hand tighter but kept my eyes closed. My power swelled, and the vine I’d envisioned climbed even higher, searching for a lost, scared teenage girl who needed her father.

  “Mari, honey,” I whispered, not wanting to yell as I had with Miranda. “Your dad is here with me. It’s time for you to come talk with him, so that together we can help ease your pain. So you can help ease his. Oh, sweetie, he misses you so, and if you can give him the gift of one more conversation, both of you will be able to move on.”

  I opened my eyes and turned my head, locking my gaze with Ben’s. His jaw was clenched tight, but he nodded, as if giving me permission to carry on. I continued to stare at him while my power vibrated within.

  “I plead with you to heed this call, Mari! Come to us now!”

  A gust of wind, not much more than a forceful breeze, touched my face. Ben swallowed and blinked several times. Next, a strong white light washed into the room, the brightest portion of the glow directly in front of where Ben and I stood. I centered my energy, my power, on that light and repeated my call to Mari.

  I blinked, and in the space of that blink, there she was. She stepped out of the middle of the light and stopped before me, before her father. Her eyes went to him first, and I saw her heartache when it became obvious that he couldn’t see her.

  She turned to me. “I’ve tried to stay away because, now that I remember, I don’t want to hurt him anymore,” she whispered. “But you called me, and here I am, and look at him. Look how sad he is. What good is this if my father can’t see me? Can’t hear me?” Her voice caught and her sky blue eyes welled with tears. “I don’t understand how this will help him or me, Chloe.”

  The distress in her eyes, in her very energy, swirled around us. “Oh, honey. I can see you, and I can tell him whatever you want.”

  As I spoke, Ben flinched. “Sh-she’s here?” His words held a mix of doubt and hope. “Are you seriously saying that Rissa’s here right now? And that you can see her?”

  “Yes, Ben, your daughter is with us.” God, I so needed him to believe this. “What do you want me to ask her? The question that will prove to you that your daughter is standing with us?”

  “If…if she’s here, ask her about the April Fool’s joke I told you about. Ask her the name of the boy she said she was going to run away with.”

  Mari’s lips quirked, and the sadness in
her eyes lightened. “Marvin Maypole! I made the name up.” She splayed her fingers over her mouth and giggled, remembering the prank she’d played on her father. “T-tell him, Chloe!”

  “Marvin Maypole,” I said. “She says she made the name up, and she’s giggling.” I watched Ben carefully, worried that as much as he wanted this opportunity, the truth of it might be too much for him to handle.

  He gulped. A series of emotions—shock, hope, happiness and another round of shock—flashed in his eyes, over his features, and he reached his other hand out blindly, as if he could grasp his daughter. “Yes,” he said in a raspy, thick voice. “Marvin Maypole. That’s right. I can’t believe…Rissa? You can hear me, right? Even though I can’t hear you?”

  “She can hear you, Ben.” I watched him struggle, trying to find the words he wanted to say to his daughter, and when I looked at Mari, I saw the same struggle. At least she could see and hear him, but Ben? Talking into the air, believing with your heart and soul that someone you loved was listening, had to be incredibly difficult.

  “I…Now that this is happening, I don’t know what to say. This is—” He swallowed again and shook his head. “How can you see her and I can’t? This isn’t fair!” He searched the area in front of him, and another round of tremors licked through him.

  Mari started crying again, and I knew in that instant that this wasn’t going to work. All of the hope that I could fix this bled away. Why couldn’t I do something—anything—so father and daughter could really connect? What in the hell was my role here? It had to be more than as an interpreter. Otherwise, how was I supposed to heal anything, let alone their hearts and souls?

  “Take a deep breath, Ben. I’ll help you through this.” Confidence I didn’t feel edged into my promise, and I winced, unsure if I’d be able to follow through. I glanced at Mari. Her tears fell harder, almost desperately, and my heart reacted. And then, so did my power.

  It expanded in a dizzying rush. The energy inside me flowed in a burning frenzy through my veins, the power so strong, so forceful, that heat flushed through me, rocking my equilibrium, making my head swim. Ben gasped again, and that’s when I saw that my magic was glowing and glittering beneath my skin. Just like with him at the amusement park, and then again with Mari, right here, right where we now stood. Oh my God! This…this sparkling, glistening display had only happened those two times. Never with anyone else. I latched on to that, knowing it meant something vital. But what?

  “S-something’s happening,” I whispered. “Give me a second. Let me think.”

  Almost immediately, I had the answer. But was it possible? Could I really use my gift, this portion of my magic that sped through my blood with such intensity, to bridge the physical world Ben stood in and the spiritual world where Mari existed? As soon as that thought hit, my power rippled in a new, even more potent push, the heat and the trembles and the energy making my body quake.

  “C-Chloe?” Ben’s voice broke in, awe filled. “You…you look like you’re lit from the inside. You’re…What’s happening now? Is my daughter still here?” he demanded. “Is this like that movie Ghost? Are you like Whoopi’s character? Is Marissa going to…is she inside—”

  “No, but…maybe?” Going on a hunch, trusting nothing more than my instincts, I squeezed Ben’s hand hard and then lunged forward and grabbed Mari’s with my free hand. I was only half-surprised to find that I could touch her, that I could feel her. But somehow, she was as solid for me as Ben.

  The energy whipped from me into both Mari and Ben, and they too began to glow. This display—the tiny embers of light that washed over them in a sparkling, dazzling array—made me believe, made me sure that I’d tapped in to a portion of my power I hadn’t even known about or understood until that very second. I clutched both of their hands tighter and focused all of my magic on them.

  The lights grew brighter, and the air sizzled and zapped, buzzing in my ears, tingling along my skin. “Can you see your daughter now, Ben? She’s right here.” Another blast of energy weakened my limbs, and I almost toppled over. “Oh, please tell me you can see her.”

  He shook his head in confusion, but then his eyes rounded and tears poured out. A heart-wrenching sob erupted from his throat. “Rissa? I…I…You’re…Oh, God, you’re so beautiful. I have missed you so much, baby.”

  “Daddy?” A look of pure happiness filtered into Mari’s face. Stepping closer to her father, she raised her other hand and brushed it along his arm. “Can you feel me? Can I touch you like Chloe’s touching me?”

  “Yes. Yes, I can feel you. I can’t believe you’re here, that I’m with you.” He yanked his arm, as if he were going to drop my hand so he could pull his daughter into a hug, but I tightened my grip.

  “Don’t, Ben,” I warned. “If you let go of me, you won’t be able to see her.” Somehow, my magic had become a conduit, a bridge, for father and daughter. I didn’t understand how, but I knew it to be true. “If we break this connection, I’m not sure I’ll be able to get it back. And I—I know this is private and personal, but I have to be here. I’m sorry.”

  He squeezed harder and nodded but didn’t remove his gaze from Marissa. “C-Chloe says that you’re stuck here, sweetheart. Is that true?”

  Mari lowered her chin slowly in a nod. “I hear Mom calling for me. And I know you’re angry with her, and I was too, but Daddy, I want to go to her. I want to be where she is, but I can’t leave. Every time I try to follow her voice, nothing happens.” Another tear fell. “You’re so sad, and you’re…I don’t want you to be mad at me if I go to Mom. I—I feel bad for wanting to be with her, because it means I have to leave you, but…”

  Ben’s face crumpled. “Baby, you don’t have to be afraid of that. I could never be mad at you for…for moving on. And I have been angry at your mother, but that’s not your fault. She”—he swallowed heavily—“lied to me. And that lie has made it difficult for me to forgive her. But if that’s what you need, then I’ll work harder. I’ll do whatever I can for you.”

  Mari tipped her tear-streaked face up toward Ben’s. “You’ve wondered if I’m your daughter. I am! It doesn’t matter about DNA or Uncle Gabe or whatever they did, Daddy. You were—are—the best father a girl could have. Don’t think I’m not yours. Please don’t think that. Please don’t let this…this thing with Mom change us. She can’t do that. Only you can do that.”

  Ben’s entire body shook with sobs. “Of course you’re my daughter! I hate not knowing for sure, though, because I love you so much that I don’t want to have any doubt. It’s eaten at me, the not knowing, not—”

  “But there isn’t any doubt! You raised me, and you loved me and I love you. You read to me at night and taught me to ride my bike and took me to concerts with my girlfriends and…and…and you did everything that a father does. So why is there doubt?” She spoke with such passion that her body vibrated. “Do you really think anything else matters?”

  “I didn’t know. I—” He broke off, overcome. Reaching out with his free hand, he grasped Mari’s and pulled her close. “But what matters the most to me is that you’re okay. Chloe told me about the accident, how you heard your mom on the phone with your uncle. I’m so sorry you found out that way, baby. I should have told you.”

  She swung a defiant look toward him, 100 percent teenage girl. “You and Mom should have told me! I could have handled it if you had. But hearing the news accidentally made it so much worse. Because of your pain, I thought that maybe you wished you weren’t my dad. That if Mom had married Uncle Gabe instead, you’d have been happier because you could’ve become a doctor. You gave that up for me.”

  “I would give up the world for you, Rissa. Being your father was the most important role of my life. That will never change.”

  “Promise?” she asked.

  Letting go of her hand, he tilted her chin up more and then cradled her cheek. “I promise. Being a doctor would’ve been nice, but I’ve lived just fine without it.” He tugged her head toward him and
then kissed her sweetly on her forehead. “I don’t know how I’m managing without you.”

  “M-maybe it would have been better if Mom had ended up with Uncle Gabe, because then you wouldn’t be so sad now. I’d just be your niece.”

  “No! That’s not true. As difficult and impossible as it has been to lose you, Rissa, the joy of being your father far out-weighs anything else. I would never, in a million years, give that up.” He stared into her eyes again. “Do you understand me, sweetheart? I love you and will always love you, and you will always be with me in my heart. Moving on, being with your mother, will not alter that. You’re mine.”

  “And you’re mine. My dad. Please don’t forget that. Okay, Daddy?”

  “Never. I’ll never doubt that again.”

  Suddenly, Mari’s face was awash with warmth and serenity. “Daddy? I can leave now if it’s okay with you. I’ll…I’ll stay if you want, though.”

  The realization that this was it, the last moment of time, of space, he’d share with his daughter until the day he moved on, coursed through Ben’s features. A tremor racked him, and his eyes—Oh, my heart broke as I looked into those sad, sad eyes! But I watched him shore himself up, become strong for Mari. “You go, baby. Be with your mother and be happy, and know that…know that I love you and am very, very proud of you.”

  “I love you too, Daddy.” She turned to me with beseeching eyes. “Take care of him, Chloe.”

  Choked with emotion, I nodded. “I’ll try. I’ve loved getting to know you, Mari. Thank you for choosing me to help you.”

  She smiled, luminous. “Oh, Chloe. I don’t think I chose you. I think maybe you chose me. But thank you. Thank you for fighting for me. For him.” Stepping as close to her father as she could, she laid her cheek on his chest. “Good-bye for now, Daddy. Try to talk to Uncle Gabe sometime, okay? He’s…he’s hurting too.”

  Ben pulled his daughter close, tears dripped from his eyes and he oh so slowly rubbed his chin on the top of her head. “We’ll see,” he whispered. “I’ll try. For you.” Then he grazed his cheek along her hair in a final farewell. “I love you, baby girl. You go now. Go to your mother.”