Tomas: Cowboy Homecoming

by Warren, Linda

  * * *

  BEFORE TUF LEFT TO RODEO, he saw a counselor at the Veteran’s Administration in Billings. He was never good at opening up about his feelings, but he knew if he wanted to be whole again he had to talk.

  Since the counselor had his records from the navy hospital in Maryland, he was already aware of Tuf’s story, so he tentatively began to tell the counselor about the recent nightmare, and about Cheyenne and the girls. He came away with mixed feelings. The man agreed with the counselor in Maryland—Tuf had something deep inside him that he didn’t want to face. After an hour of sharing brutal war memories, it became clear that whatever was bothering him was buried so deep he might never be able to reveal the pain—even to himself.

  But the doctor urged him to remember the good things going on in his life, especially his family and rodeoing. And he encouraged him to continue to talk to Cheyenne, but Tuf didn’t know if that was possible. At least not until he got his head straight.

  Chapter Twelve

  The next morning he and Beau saddled up, so to speak, and headed out to hit the rodeo circuit. Tuf hugged his mom, said goodbye to his brothers and slid into the driver’s seat.

  As they passed the Wright property, he noticed the kitchen light was on. Cheyenne was making jewelry in her green robe and bright slippers. In his mind’s eye, her beautiful features and intense concentration were clear, as were the tiny freckles across her cheekbones and nose.

  “Why are you slowing down?” Beau asked.

  “What?”

  “If you want to stop and see Cheyenne, that’s okay.”

  “No. We’re just friends.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep.”

  “From your expression I’m guessing you wish it was a lot more.”

  “Right now I’m focusing on rodeoing.” It wasn’t a lie—just not the exact truth.

  “If you say so, coz.” Beau pulled his hat over his eyes and went to sleep.

  After a hundred miles, they switched drivers. Beau sang with the country tunes blaring from the radio. Tuf closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but he kept seeing Cheyenne’s face.

  On the way to Jackson, Mississippi, for the Dixie National Rodeo, they stopped for small-town rodeos in Wyoming, Colorado, Kansas and Oklahoma. It wasn’t much money, but it helped to hone his skills and also helped to pay for food and motel bills. By the time they reached Jackson, he was ready.

  The first night he was the sixth cowboy to ride. As always, Tuf had his equipment checked. The rowels had to be filed down so as not to hurt the horse. The stands were full and eager chatter resonated around the arena. Manure and rawhide were familiar scents. The bang of the chutes. The buzzer. It was rodeo time.

  His muscles tensed before a ride. Donning his protective vest, he waited for the signal. Standing in the cowboy-ready area, three cowboys walked up to him. He recognized them: Cory Kinney, Jesse Hobbs and Trey Watson. They were dressed like Tuf, except each had their own signature chaps.

  “Hey, didn’t you ride in Bozeman?” Jesse asked.

  “Yeah.”

  Jesse made the introductions.

  “I’m Tuf Hart from Roundup, Montana.” They shook hands.

  “Wait a minute.” Cory Kinney stepped forward. “Your family owns that black stallion.”

  “The Midnight Express.”

  “Cory’s still talking about him.” Trey laughed.

  “That horse is powerful,” Cory said. “Do you know where he’ll buck next? I’d like another chance at him.”

  “I’ll ask my brother.” Tuf knew this would happen. News of Midnight was getting around. That was good for Thunder Ranch.

  “This is my cousin Beau Adams,” he said.

  “Any kin to Duke Adams?” Cory asked.

  “My brother,” Beau replied.

  “What happened to him? I don’t see him on the circuit anymore.”

  “He got married.” Beau shifted uneasily. Even though he’d come to grips about Duke’s decision, there were times Tuf knew it still bothered him. But because of Beau’s own marriage, he understood Duke’s motivation a little better.

  “Man, he let a woman mess with his head.”

  Before Beau could reply, Trey asked, “Where y’all headed next?”

  “Texas.”

  “We are, too. Maybe we can buddy up and share expenses and fees.”

  “Fine by me.” Tuf loved that about cowboys. They were always friendly and looking for ways to save money. But he worried about the sleeping arrangements and the nightmares.

  “Great.” Trey nodded. “I drive a 2003 Dodge and it’s always breaking down. Probably because it has two hundred thousand miles on it. You drive anything better?”

  “I have a decent truck.”

  The first rider was climbing the chute and they moved closer to watch. When it was Tuf’s turn and he slid onto Black Widow, he heard the announcer. “Now we have a young cowboy from Roundup, Montana. He’s a former marine and new to the circuit. Let’s give a round of applause for Tuf Hart.”

  He worked his hand into the handle while Black Widow moved restlessly, eager to buck.

  “How do they know that?” Tuf asked Beau, who was helping him with his rigging.

  “Word gets around, I guess.” Beau leaned away. “This horse bucks wild. Be prepared for anything. Just maintain your rhythm.”

  It was a grueling week and the competition stiff. He finished third behind Cory and Trey and in the money. He was pleased. But it took a toll on his body as every muscle screamed for relief.

  Later, they met the other cowboys and headed for Texas. There was a getting-to-know-each-other period. The cowboys teased Beau because he was a bull rider, and he took it all in good nature.

  Every night Tuf worried he’d have the nightmare and scare the cowboys to death. But his luck was holding.

  Their next stop was San Angelo, Texas, ten days of nonstop rodeoing. He and Cory were neck and neck through the whole event. Cory edged him out on the last night with an 88 ride. But Tuf still placed in the money, and he was able to send almost all of it home to his mom. He kept just enough for gas, food and lodging, which was much cheaper since his new friends were sharing the cost.

  Next rodeo was Fort Mohave, Arizona, then Marshall, Goliad, Nacogdoches and Lubbock, Texas. By now the cowboys had bonded, and once they saw Beau ride, they had a healthy respect for bull riders.

  Tuf and Cory were fierce competitors, both determined to win and with a little luck make it to the finals in Vegas. Trey was the ladies’ man, and after a lot of rodeos, he didn’t make it back to the room until three or four in the morning. Jesse was easygoing and rodeos were fun to him.

  But the constant traveling was getting to them. At the end of March, Tuf decided they needed a short break. Beau was about as Sierra-homesick as he’d ever seen. They dropped the cowboys in Mississippi, and he and Beau headed for Montana. And home. The first thing Tuf thought of was Cheyenne. As hard as he tried not to think of her, she was always on his mind.

  * * *

  CLASS IN SESSION. THAT’S what the sign said on the closed kitchen door. After breakfast, Cheyenne let the girls play for a bit, and then she dressed them and they went to school, which just happened to be the kitchen. Once class started, the girls knew they had lessons to do. Sometimes they got sidetracked and wanted to laugh and play, but Cheyenne was very strict. She wanted them to be ready for kindergarten in the fall.

  “Write your numbers,” she said to Sadie.

  “I already know my numbers.”

  “Write them anyway and then we’ll count.” Sadie was very good with numbers and counting while Sammie excelled in reading and the alphabet. Sammie followed instructions easily while Sadie usually balked until Cheyenne had to make her. They looked alike but they definitely had different personalities.

  Sadie laid down her pencil and crossed her arms across her tiny chest. “I’m not writing no more numbers.”

  They had this battle almost every day. Sadie seemed to have
a need to test her, and Cheyenne’s patience was wearing thin. “Go to your room and sit in the time-out chair. You will not get any gummy bears after lunch or ride Toughie today. Go.” She pointed toward the girls’ room.

  Tears rolled from Sadie’s eyes and sobs racked her body. At the sight, Cheyenne’s resolve wavered but she remained firm. “Go.”

  Sadie crawled from her chair, her little body shaking, and then she did a quick turn and threw herself at Cheyenne. Sobbing, she blubbered, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

  Cheyenne picked her up and held her. “You have to mind Mommy.”

  “’Kay.”

  “I finished my number,” Sammie said.

  “Good, baby, you get an extra gummy bear after lunch.”

  That immediately grabbed Sadie’s attention, and she scurried back to her chair and finished her numbers. Sitting back, Sadie asked, “Mommy, when is Tuf coming to see us?”

  She wasn’t startled by the question because they asked it every day. “I don’t know, baby. He’s at a rodeo far from home.”

  “But why doesn’t he come home to see us? He likes us.”

  That was the hard part. Trying to explain something she didn’t understand herself. Tuf didn’t want to expose them to his nightmares, and Cheyenne wasn’t sure if she could live with another marine with PTSD.

  She thought of him constantly, though, and she’d been reading about PTSD on the internet. Tuf needed caring and support and for someone to listen when he wanted to talk. It seemed Tuf had done all the right things, but he was still struggling. She wondered if she’d let go of their relationship too quickly because of her own fears. Could she help him? Did she want to help him?

  “I miss Tuf,” Sammie muttered.

  So do I.

  In a short amount of time, she and Tuf had formed a special connection, and she missed him. She missed his early-morning knocks, his cold hands and warm heart.

  * * *

  IN THE AFTERNOON, HER DAD helped Austin at his store, so Cheyenne had the girls’ lesson around the coffee table in the living room. They worked on the alphabet. The workbook had the alphabet listed, but several letters were missing and they had to fill in the blanks. Sammie breezed through hers.

  Sadie paused. “Mommy, what comes after G?”

  “Look at the picture below. It gives you a clue.”

  “It’s a hat.”

  “Think about it and see if you can get the first letter of hat.”

  Sammie whispered to her sister.

  “Sammie,” Cheyenne scolded.

  “I got it. H.” Sadie beamed a big smile.

  Cheyenne scooted to sit between them. She wanted Sadie to finish on her own.

  Afterward, she gave them a choice. “What would you like to read today?”

  “Brown Bear, Brown Bear,” Sadie shouted.

  “The Cat in the Hat,” Sammie said.

  “Go to your room and get the books.”

  They darted off, and she picked up their workbooks and pencils. After she stored everything away, her dad came in.

  “Are you finished?” he asked.

  “Yes. We’re going to read, but we can do that in their room.”

  “I just came in for some water.” He opened the refrigerator and pulled out bottled water. “Austin and I went over to the diner for a cup of coffee, and Beau called Sierra. He and Tuf are on their way home for a couple of days. Sierra was all excited.”

  She tucked a curl behind her ear. “Is there a reason you’re telling me this?”

  “No.” He screwed the top off the bottle and took a swallow. “The girls keep asking about Tuf.”

  “Dad.” She sighed. “Tuf and I agreed not to see each other anymore. He has flashbacks just like Ryan and it’s hard for both of us.”

  “But you want to see him?”

  “Dad…”

  “I’m going to the barn to feed the horses and then I promised Austin to help unload supplies.” He looked at her. “I can see you’re unhappy. That’s all I’m saying.”

  As he left, she thought about what he said. She did want to see Tuf—more than she ever thought possible. But there was so much heartache standing between them. Was there a chance for them?

  * * *

  THE LAZY SUN HUNG LOW in the west as Tuf drove into Roundup. He dropped Beau at the diner and continued on. The girls played on the porch as he passed the Wright house. He had to force himself not to stop.

  When he reached home, he left his laundry in the utility room and walked through the kitchen to the great room. The TV was on, and his mom sat with her feet up watching an old rerun of Bonanza.

  “Now, that’s what I like to see.”

  “Tuf!” His mom jumped up. “You’re back.” She hugged him.

  “Yeah, for a couple of days. How’s everything?”

  “You boys are working so hard. I couldn’t be prouder. Oh.” She reached for her cell on an end table. “I’ll call Ace and Colt and…”

  He held up his hand. “We can meet in the morning. Don’t interrupt their family time.”

  “Okay. Have you eaten?”

  “No, but don’t fix anything. I’m not hungry. I’ll grab a sandwich later.” He trudged upstairs and fell across the bed. His muscles ached and he was tired…and lonely. Empty. Lost, even. There. He’d admitted it. How could he feel that way in a big, loving family? Sometimes he’d felt like that as a kid. Ace and Colt were close in age, and Beau and Duke were inseparable. Dinah had her girlfriends. He was always the odd one out.

  Joining the marines hadn’t helped that feeling. It had only intensified. Maybe he was one of those people who would always be alone. But…when he was with Cheyenne, those feelings weren’t there. He felt alive and full of dreams—for the two of them. And the munchkins. He slowly drifted into sleep

  When he awoke, it was dark outside. After a shower, he walked over to the window and stared toward the Wright property. He wanted to talk to her so bad he hurt.

  His cell buzzed and he hurriedly picked it up from the dresser. Cheyenne. He blinked, not sure he’d read the name right. It was her. He answered.

  “Tuf, it’s Cheyenne.”

  “Yes, I know.” God, he’d know that voice anywhere. He heard it in his dreams.

  “I heard you’re back.”

  “Yeah. We leave again on Friday.”

  “Could we talk, please?”

  “Cheyenne…” As much as he wanted to, he hesitated.

  “I’d like to talk. That’s all.”

  “I’ll be right over.” He couldn’t keep resisting. But he wondered what they could talk about that wouldn’t hurt both of them.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Cheyenne put down her phone and a shiver ran through her. She’d done it. She’d made a choice and followed her heart. Instinctively she knew they had something special, and she was willing to work on their relationship. But was he?

  She applied a touch of lipstick and headed for the front porch. The girls were asleep and her dad was helping Austin unload supplies for the store.

  In minutes he pulled into her driveway. He slid out of the truck and his long, lean legs strolled toward her. The porch light showed off his handsome face and muscled body. Sexy. Brooding. That worked. A flutter of excitement rippled through her lower abdomen.

  Without a word, he sank down by her on the step.

  “How are you?” she asked before her nerves got the best of her.

  “A little tired,” he replied and looked at her.

  She melted into his tortured gaze. He was hurting. That was obvious. All her feminine instincts kicked in and she wanted to help him. Before one word could leave her mouth, his eyes dropped to the necklace around her neck.

  “That’s gorgeous. Did you make it?”

  She glanced down at the stainless-steel chain with embedded crystals. “Yes. The cornflower-blue crystals are Yogo sapphires. I made a necklace for a lady using the stone, and I liked it so much I ordered the smallest crystals they had. It was all I could
afford. They’re mined in Rock Creek, Montana.”

  “They’re almost as beautiful as your eyes.”

  She lifted an eyebrow. “My eyes are green.”

  “And brighter than any jewel.”

  She squinted at him. “You are tired.”

  “Mmm.” He drew up his knees and rested his forearms on them. “What did you want to talk about?”

  “Us,” she answered without hesitation. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reading about PTSD on the internet.”

  He turned his head, his eyes wide, but he didn’t speak.

  She rushed into speech before her brain could shut her up. “We’ve both admitted that we’re attracted to each other and that we’re afraid. I let fear control my reaction that day you said we shouldn’t see each other anymore. I never wanted to get involved with another marine, especially one suffering from PTSD. But it’s different with you and me. We’ve known each other all our lives, and I know in here—” she placed her hand over her heart “—that you would never intentionally hurt me. Do you think you can trust me not to fall apart when you have a nightmare? Do you think we can see each other again?”

  She waited, her nerves stretched taut.

  “The counselor said I have something deep inside me that I don’t want to face. I feel it’s something bad.”

  Scooting closer, she placed her hand on his tense arm. “Tuf Hart, I don’t believe for one minute that you could do anything bad. No one would go back for that marine like you did. And help the man for two years? No one.”

  “Mmm.”

  Going on her own feminine intuition, she wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder. Suddenly his arms cradled her gently against him. The moon engulfed them, and the stars twinkled with a delight that assured her she’d done the right thing. They needed each other.

  She lifted her head and he bent his to steal a kiss. Except he didn’t have to steal it. She gave freely, tasting the coolness that quickly turned heated and beyond her control. He kissed just as she knew he would—tenderly with a passion that promised pleasures beyond her wildest dreams.