High Desert Haven (The Shepherd's Heart)

by Lynnette Bonner

  William cleared his throat. “Nicki, I’ve been up most of the night thinking. Ron mentioned you planned on staying here and I got to thinking…” He twisted his hat around on the table a couple of times, glanced at her, then back at his hat. He drummed his fingers on the table. “Well, with our spreads sharing one border and all, and you and Sawyer being alone now, I thought—” He stopped again.

  The coffee pot started to boil, sending splashes of water out the pour spout to sizzle on the stove top. Nicki realized she had put it too close to the center, so she got up and went over to move it closer to the edge. Behind her, William sighed. What was he trying to get at?

  Sitting back down at the table, she rested her hands in front of her. “What do you want, William?”

  Reaching out, he laid one hand over the top of both of hers and looked deeply into her eyes. “I want you to marry me.”

  Nicki gasped and jerked her hands from his as though he had poured boiling water on them. Standing up, she pressed the knuckle of her first finger to her suddenly throbbing temple and the other hand to the small of her back, closing her eyes for an instant. The audacity of his preposterous proposal made her dizzy. “No.”

  “Nicki, listen to reason. There is no way on God’s green earth that you are going to be able to run this place on your own. John has five thousand acres here. Do you know how much work it’s going to take to keep this place running? And you have two hands who stayed through the winter. Two hands.” He held aloft two fingers. “You need me, Nicki. There’s no two ways about it.”

  Nicki massaged both temples with cold fingers. She could feel a headache coming on strong. And futility was fast on its heels.

  He was right. She did only have two hands. He was right. She didn’t know the first thing about managing a ranch and keeping things running smoothly. He was right. She needed help. But she couldn’t step into another marriage for convenience’s sake. She had done it once to save her family. Now there was just she and Sawyer, and she intended to give it a go on her own. Not to mention, she didn’t know where William stood in his relationship with the Lord.

  She straightened her shoulders and tried to smile.

  A flicker of hope jumped into his eyes.

  She spoke quickly, holding up a hand to slow down his assumption. “I see that you are just trying to help me, William, and I know I’m going to need help here, but I can’t marry you. Not right now, at least. I need some time.”

  He rose quickly and came to her, placing his hands on her arms. “I’m sorry. I should have given you more time. I know you are a strong woman and that if any woman can run a ranch, it’s you, but I have to warn you. I’ve already heard talk in town. There are some very big men who would give anything to get their hands on this land. I’m worried about your safety.”

  Nicki took a step back, looking into his eyes. “You don’t think they had anything to do with John’s death, do you?”

  He stepped close, smoothing her hair, his face contorted with compassion. “No. Shhh. Shhh.” He pulled her to his chest. “I was there, Nicki. John’s death was an accident.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. She pushed him away, folded her arms, and stared at the floor, trying to assure herself his words were true.

  He touched her cheek and Nicki looked into his face. “You need someone to take care of you, Nicki. You’ve had to take care of yourself long enough.”

  Nicki didn’t like this assault on her emotions. William was so tender and caring, yet something didn’t ring true. She took a slow step away from him, needing distance to think clearly.

  He put on his hat. “If you won’t consider me for yourself, think of Sawyer. I already love him like he was my own, and he’s going to need a father.”

  Nicki blinked and looked toward the bed where the little boy still slept soundly. She shook her head in confusion and took another step away from him, pressing her fingertips to her temple once more. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it. I just need some time.”

  “That’s all that I can ask. Meanwhile, I’ll send a couple of my men over to help out where you need them. Would that be all right?” His tone was gentle.

  “Y-yes. I suppose that would be fine.”

  He started to turn away. “William?”

  “Yes?”

  “Gracias. Thank you. I mean, for thinking of us.” She gestured to include Sawyer. “I know you’re just trying to help, and I will consider your offer.”

  “It will be good forever.”

  Nicki nodded. “Would you like some coffee?”

  “No. I need to be getting back to my spread. It looks like another storm is coming on this afternoon, and I have some things I need to see to. I’ll send those men right away, though.”

  “All right. Would you stop by the bunkhouse on your way out and ask Ron to give me fifteen minutes and then come to the house? I need to talk to him about a few things.”

  William nodded and ducked out the door.

  She hurried to get changed and cleaned up. She was a widow, but that didn’t mean she shouldn’t look presentable. However, she only had one black dress and that one she was wearing. She settled for the dark blue, noticing that it was a little bigger on her today than it had been when she wore it last week. She had lost weight in the past few days.

  She rested a hand on her queasy stomach, closing her eyes against the despair that threatened to overwhelm her. She determined this situation would not get the best of her. With God’s help, she would make it through this valley.

  Fifteen minutes later Ron tapped on the door and Nicki let him in. “Did you and Conner eat yet?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  “Why don’t you go back out and get him, and I’ll throw some things together so we can eat while we talk?”

  Ron nodded and soon returned with Conner. Nicki put him to work peeling potatoes. Ron took flapjack ingredients to the table and began mixing while Nicki dashed through the cold to the henhouse for some fresh eggs.

  Several minutes later when Nicki stepped back into the house, she paused, eyeing her two ranch hands.

  Conner had half-inch-thick potato peelings in the sink and a makeshift bandage wrapped around his thumb. Although he had been working on the potatoes for a good ten minutes, he was just finishing on the fourth one.

  Ron had flour on his forehead, in his hair, and on the shoulder of his shirt, and the flapjack batter looked more like a lump of pie dough than anything. Ron looked from the lump in the bowl to the recipe on the table and back again with a quizzical air that showed he had no idea what had gone wrong.

  Both Ron and Conner glanced at her when she entered and then turned back to their respective duties. By their unflustered manner, this was not an unusual situation for either of them. When she made no move, both men stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at her.

  Merriment traced the edges of her voice. “Well, I can see that the first thing we are going to have to do is hire a cook. How have you two managed to stay alive this winter?”

  Ron poked the lump of offensive pancake dough with the end of his spoon and stepped back, eyeing it as though it might crawl from the bowl. “It hasn’t been pleasant,” he said, picking up the recipe and running a calloused finger from line to line, “but we’re gettin’ real good at makin’ stew.”

  “Well here.” Nicki shooed the men into seats at the table. “The coffee’s done, and I will have some food fixed in no time. You two just sit.” She poured them both coffee and was just turning to start breakfast when Sawyer awoke.

  “Buenos días, Sawyer. How is Mama’s Sunshine this morning?” Nicki approached the bedside and ruffled his dark curls as the little boy stretched vigorously.

  “Mama!” His chubby arms encircled her legs for a split second and then he clambered to his feet, reaching his arms up to be held.

  Nicki picked him up, hugged him to her tightly, then placed a kiss on his cheek before she moved toward the table. “Mama is going to fix breakfast. You sit here wi
th Ron and Conner for now, all right?”

  The little boy stared wide-eyed at the strange sight of the two ranch hands inside the house. Indeed Nicki could not remember Ron or Conner ever being inside the house before, other than when I sent Ron into the house for hot water when John was hurt. She brushed the painful thought aside. The hands had always taken their meals out in the bunkhouse, even in the summer months when the ranch kept a full-time cook.

  As Nicki cooked breakfast and watched Conner and Ron play with Sawyer, she knew that God had truly blessed her to have two such men working for her during this time. Gracias, Jesus, for blessing me with these two wonderful men. Give us wisdom as we discuss what needs to be done around the place. And help us to know what must be done immediately and what can wait for a few months.

  Nicki turned her back on the men as a rush of dismay washed over her.

  Taking a deep breath, she reminded herself that God had never yet deserted her and He wouldn’t do so now. Wiping her eyes, she set the last plate on the table and then seated herself.

  After the meal was over and Nicki had Sawyer changed and playing with some toys on the bed in the corner, she refilled everyone’s cups and settled down to talk.

  “First of all, I want you both to come to the house for your meals from now on.” She raised a hand to stop Ron’s protest. “If neither of you can cook, there is no point in you fixing your own meals. In fact, I’m sorry I didn’t know sooner, or I’d have done this a long time ago. Besides, it will make meal time more pleasant for Sawyer and me to have some company.” She glanced back and forth between the men and saw there would be no further protest. “Bueno. It’s settled, then. Now…” She took a sip of coffee. “Ron, tell me what some of our immediate concerns should be.”

  Ron sampled his coffee, staring into the mug thoughtfully before he lifted his eyes to hers. “Well, ma’am, the first thing I should tell you is that Conner and I don’t know enough about the cattle business to tell you too much. Conner here, this is his first job and he grew up in Boston back east. Me, well now, you know that afore I come to work here I was a hard-rock miner down Nevada way for thirty-odd years. We just did what John told us to do. I’ve learned a few things in the two or so years I’ve been here, but the first thing you need is a man who knows cows and the cattle business to run this place.”

  “You mean a manager?”

  “Yes’m, I reckon.”

  Nicki sipped her coffee, thinking. “William was here this morning. He warned me that he’s heard there are some men who want this land. Things could get dangerous. I’d hate to bring a stranger into that. In fact, I wanted both of you to know as well. You’re free to leave anytime.”

  Silence hung thick in the room as both men merely looked at her.

  Nicki took in their silence with gratitude but decided not to comment on it. Instead, she continued, “William also offered to send over a couple of his men. Do you think one of them might do as a manager?”

  Ron cleared his throat and Conner fidgeted in his chair and looked down at the floor.

  “I’m not so sure that would work.” Ron scratched the stubble on his chin. “I reckon the men William sends will be good help, but they’re employed by William, and I doubt we’d be able to pay ’em what they are getting now. Whoever you get would need to be here all the time and will have to be willin’ to work for very little pay at first.”

  Nicki thought for a moment. “Ron, why is William’s ranch doing so well when ours isn’t?”

  Ron didn’t reply.

  “You can be honest with me.”

  “I don’t rightly know, except that John—he just didn’t like to part with his money none too much. Seems to me that improvements have to be made to a place if you want to keep it workin’ smooth-like. Not meaning to offend, ma’am, but the only improvements that John made to this place in all the years I’ve worked here was to fix the perimeter fences.”

  Nicki nodded and thought back over the past two-and-a-half years.

  When she had first met John, he had spent money like it would never run out. First, his unaccountable purchase of her and then this ranch and several horses that even Nicki had been able to see were very fine animals. They had cost a hundred dollars apiece when a good horse was going for about forty. John had kept the horses in the barn for one day. Then he’d ridden off, leading them all in a string, and she’d never seen them again.

  After that, John had changed his ways and refused to pay for even the most necessary updates, like the chinking that needed to be done to the bunkhouse. His source of the funds seemed to have dried up.

  Where had John gotten the money in the first place? She had never asked him, and he had never talked about it. It was clear now that John did not have the gift for making money. In fact she had suspected him of gambling in the Farewell Bend saloon on more than one occasion. Perhaps gambling was where he had gotten the money. She didn’t think he could have earned enough at the tables to buy this piece of property, though.

  I don’t suppose I’ll ever find out now. She blinked back tears. Had his death really been an accident? She shook the suspicion off again. William had been with John. He’d seen the accident happen. It couldn’t have been murder.

  Her thoughts turned back to the ranch and Nicki nodded to herself, agreeing with Ron’s assessment of the situation as she considered its rundown state. Things were definitely falling apart. Yes, things would have to change if she expected to keep this ranch from dying, and there was no time like the present to start. “All right then. Ron if you will hitch up the wagon, I’ll just bundle Sawyer up and we’ll head into Prineville.”

  “Into Prineville?”

  “Yes. I’ll place an ad for a manager in the papers. I need some supplies anyhow. I have a little money from the eggs and butter I have been taking to Farewell Bend every time I go.”

  Ron nodded, and he and Connor headed to get the wagon. And as Nicki bundled up Sawyer, she prayed that God would send them just the man they needed for the job.

  Nicki pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as they finally crested the last ridge and looked down over the sprawling town. Prineville lay thirty miles to the northeast of Nicki’s land. The largest town in the county, it was a hard-bitten place with more saloons than horses. Well, almost.

  She sat on the wagon seat to Ron’s right, Sawyer in her lap. Thankful for the mild, windless weather, she took in the countryside around her. Miles of rolling hills stretched to the horizon. Here and there a Juniper tree broke through the white, snow-covered plain like a jagged finger pointing at the sky. She shielded her eyes against the glistening vastness. The sun’s reflection glimmered off the snow in radiant beams.

  Below them, as they took the black strip of road down the hill, lay the weather-grayed buildings of the town. Smoke wafted in lazy trails from the chimneys, casting a hazy pallor over the valley below.

  Nicki grinned at Conner, who took in the sights of the town like a starving man who’d stumbled into a cantina. He had ridden his black-brown-and-white paint mare and now urged his horse to a trot pulling up beside her.

  “I see Sid Snow over by the livery. I’ll ride over and have a talk with him, if that’s all right by you, ma’am?”

  Nicki nodded. Sid Snow, Tilly’s brother, was the closest friend Conner had. “Sure, Conner. We will be ready to head home in about two hours. Until then, you are free to see who you will.”

  He tipped his hat at her and urged his mare into a canter, heading for the corral, where several men milled about in seemingly serious conversations.

  Sid Snow had one boot propped up on the bottom rail of the corral and a blade of grass protruding from his mouth.

  Conner slid from the back of his mare and looped her reins around the top pole of the corral as Sid looked up and gave him a hearty hale.

  Grinning, Conner accepted Sid’s handshake. “Whatcha doin’?”

  Sid shrugged. “Jus’ killin’ grass.”

  Conner laughed as he took in the m
ud beneath Sid’s feet. “No grass to kill around here, Sid.”

  Sid lifted his boots, one at a time. “Guess it worked.” Conner laughed.

  “You’re just the guy I’d hoped to see, though,” Sid said.

  “Oh?”

  “Some of the fellows was thinkin’ this’d be a mighty fine day for a race.”

  Conner’s heartbeat quickened. The last time they’d raced he’d beat Sid by head and shoulders only. This time he’d beat him by a full length. “You sure your ego can handle another race against me and my mare?”

  Sid tipped his head back for a quick laugh before arching a brow in Conner’s direction. “You sure you can handle losing to me in front of my sister?”

  Conner swallowed. So Tilly was in town. He’d wondered about that.

  Hands resting on his hips, he scuffed the toe of one boot through the mud of the street. “Maybe when I beat you, she’ll finally notice that I exist.” He looked up hopefully at Sid.

  Sid chuckled and clapped him on the shoulder. “She knows you exist, pal, believe me. I’ve seen the way she looks at you and it’s not a look she offers to any other guys who’ve come callin’.”

  Conner’s movements stilled. “Other guys have come calling?”

  Sid didn’t answer that. “I’ll let everyone know the race is on. Plenty of ’em will want to lay money against you.”

  Conner snorted.

  Sid grinned. “Meet me at the stand of spruce trees the other side of the hill. Finish line will be drawn in front of The Bucket of Blood.”

  Conner nodded and, as Sid walked off, he looked across the street. Tilly Snow stood in front of Hahn and Freid’s General Store, her dark eyes drilling into him. He could have sworn a lasso had just snagged his heart and given it a good tug. Standing there in her summer yellow dress, she was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. He allowed a slow grin to spread across his face and pushed the brim of his hat further back on his head with one finger. She smiled softly, looked down at the boardwalk, then glanced back up at him.