No more boys for me. Not only was that the single most embarrassing moment of my life, but it was all because I had my mind on other things. No more.
☀☀☀
After that humiliating experience I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and wake up sometime next week, maybe. But when I got into my car I saw a text from Mckayla wanting me to meet her to get our nails done. I responded with a quick yes and drove to the shopping center. I parked next to her car and met her inside.
“Aubrey! Come over here I got us two stations.” Mckayla was sitting in a large massaging chair with her feet soaking in the tub. Next to dance, this has to be my favorite activity.
“Hey. I’m so happy you texted me. I had a rough day at dance and I completely spaced on getting my nails done for tomorrow.” I settled into my chair and dipped my feet into the warm water.
“I figured you had a lot on your mind.” She handed me a magazine and a bottle of emerald nail polish. I didn’t even realize I walked in without selecting a color.
“Thanks, you know me well.”
She laughed and leaned into the chair closing her eyes. “Of course. Now it’s time to relax. No drama allowed.”
I admired her ability to hold still while the women worked through our pedicures. I was fidgeting and giggling as my feet were scrubbed and polished. It was a double-edged sword. It was such a luxury to be spoiled and massaged, but I was so ticklish.
I smiled and apologized to the lady when she asked me to stand to move to a manicure station. At least the majority of torture was done.
Mckayla was still on top of things. She appeared next to me and dropped off a bottle of nude nail polish.
“Don’t match your toes, it’s weird.” Without another word she walked to her station.
Thirty minutes later I was finished and waiting for Mckayla at the front of the lobby. While I was browsing through other polish colors movement caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. I glanced through the window and caught the back of a man walking away from me. From his looks and his walk he reminded me of someone. I thought about it for a brief second before it hit me.
Morgan.
For the third time in a few weeks my ability to breathe was lost. I fell into a chair next to me and put my head between my knees.
There was no way I was seeing him. It had to be a trick, just my mind freaking me out. I knew he was locked up far away from me. My mom told me.
I was gasping for air when I felt a hand on my back.
“Are you okay, Aubrey?”
I struggled to nod and didn’t bother making an effort to sit up.
“What’s wrong? You need to breathe. Just try to do it slowly. In . . . and out. . . .”
I desperately tried to calm myself enough to focus on her words. A few centuries later I got it under control and sat up. Her face was streaked with worry, her brows were scrunched together and she was holding her phone.
“Brandon’s on his way. Are you going to be okay?”
I shook my head trying to tell her not to have Brandon come, but of course she saw it as me signaling I wasn’t okay.’
“Should I call 911?”
I took a shaky breath. “No I’m okay. Tell Brandon not to come. I just had a panic attack. I’m fine now.”
She looked at me for a moment before looking down at her phone and texting. “Fine I told him we would be home in a minute.”
“Thanks. Sorry to freak you out.”
“What was that about? Why did you have a panic attack?”
I paused considering whether or not I was going to sound like a crazy person.
“I thought I saw someone.”
“Who?”
“Morgan.”
She shot up and looked outside.
“He walked away. I’m sure it wasn’t him. It just surprised me.”
“Let’s go home. We can talk to Brandon about this.”
Chapter 27
Brandon knew all about the first panic attack with Carter, but I never mentioned the one with Gage. When Mckayla explained what happened he asked me if it had happened at any other time. He wasn’t very happy with me when I admitted this was the third time. He made me call Dr. Marin and have an emergency video conference with her so she could help me cope with the attacks and learn how to manage them. It was a long night, but I didn’t have the dream so talking to people must be helping. Funny how that works.
I was so exhausted from the night before I completely forgot about the assembly for the formal until the girls saw me. I was stepping out of my car when the three of them rushed over and Talia threw her arms around my shoulders.
“Honey I know you’ve had a rough night, but you cannot go to school looking like a bum, not today!”
I looked down at my yoga pants and sweatshirt. It was a little big but it was the only one I could find in the laundry this morning. I was sure Brandon wouldn’t even notice it was gone.
Talia turned to Alexis and Mckayla. “Do you guys have any extra clothes? I’m going to take her to my car to fix her hair and makeup, meet me over there.”
They dispersed and Talia dragged me a few rows over to her Jeep. She opened the passenger door and ordered me to sit. Wasting no time she pulled out a makeup bag from her glove box and began dusting my face with powder and bronzer.
“I can’t believe you showed up today like this. You’re going to be in front of the entire school!”
I shrugged not really caring. I was just so tired.
“Good thing you have us to take care of you. Now close your eyes.” She blended eye shadow before telling me to open for mascara. The final assault was lip gloss. It took her under three minutes to transform me. When I looked in the mirror I could hardly see the dark circles under my eyes. I looked pretty actually. Maybe I could do this every day . . . how long would it take before they caught on?
I was still examining when Alexis walked up holding out a grey sweater.
“It might not be assembly worthy but anything is better than what you have going on. Oh pretty makeup!”
I laughed at her as I threw off the sweatshirt and pulled over the sweater. It was a fitted V-neck that was surprisingly flattering. I raised a brow and waited for their verdict.
“Not too bad. Nice job Alexis.” Talia turned and scanned the parking lot. “Where’s Mac?”
Mckayla came running up to the Jeep. “I didn’t have any clothes in my car, just some bikinis. I asked Cassie and she had a pair of your jeans in her car from a few days ago. She said you left them there after dance.” She held them out to me and smiled.
“Huh, I forgot about that.” I jumped out of the seat and they formed a human wall around me so I could change into the jeans. “Done!”
Talia shook her head as she looked me over. “We’re pretty fantastic. You look amazing. Just let me fix your hair.” She pulled out my bun and pulled two front sections back. She braided them each back and pinned them in the back of my head. “Perfect, now we have to run! We’re all late now.”
☀☀☀
The assembly took place during second period, so instead of changing out for dance I went directly to the gym. The rest of the senior and junior nominees were already there talking in a back corner. I was relieved my friends had taken over this morning. The other girls looked amazing, some were even wearing dresses. I waved to Mike and walked up to Luke.
“Hey Luke.” He turned and gave me a nod. When did his signature, beautiful smile get replaced with this lame acknowledgment?
“Do you know what we’re supposed to do for this?”
He shrugged and nodded toward the senior class president. “She’s in charge.”
Alright. Before I could ask anything else we were instructed to line up against the wall with our partners since the rest of the students were about to be let in. I looked over at Luke but he was turned away talking to one of the senior nominees.
Hopefully this would be quick. It was painfully awkward standing next to Luke, who I thoug
ht was my friend, as he ignored me. The assembly started and I listened to the announcements and then the senior nominees were called to the center of the court. They introduced each of them then called the juniors over. This was a lot less embarrassing than I expected. The class president for the juniors announced each of our names and cheers broke out from the crowd. I was surprised by how many shouts and hoots we got, and almost felt bad for Sydney when the crowd drew quiet at her name. Poor girl needs to learn how to make friends.
The whole assembly lasted thirty minutes but it flew by. We were dismissed with twenty minutes left before third period started. I grabbed Luke before he could walk away.
“Good luck with your competition tomorrow.”
He looked surprised I remembered. “Thanks. We should hang out tonight, maybe get in the mood for tomorrow.”
What was with him? He was so hot and cold. I couldn’t keep up with him. “Sure, just call me tonight.” Maybe I had imagined things.
☀☀☀
I didn’t want to get my hopes up that Luke would actually call, so when I got home from school and dance I showered but didn’t go through the motions of getting ready. I was laying on my bed reading when Brandon knocked oh my door.
“Hey. You’re home early.”
He walked in and sat down next to me. “Yeah it was a slower day. I was just wondering if you had plans or if you wanted to hang out.”
“Well Luke did mention going out tonight, but he hasn’t called.”
Brandon nodded and moved to stand up. “That’s cool, just let me know.”
I went back to my book and about fifteen minutes later my phone rang.
“Hi Luke.” I tried not to sound too excited but I was surprised he even called. That was a good sign, right?
“Hey Aubrey, I’m sorry but I have to cancel tonight. I had something come up.”
Disappointment flooded through me. “Oh. That’s fine. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah I’ll be there. I promise. Have a good night.”
“You too.”
After hanging up I stared down at my phone. Why did I feel like this? I knew there was a slim chance he would even call. I don’t know who the boy was that taught me to surf and showed me a secret shake shack went, but I missed him.
Brandon stuck his head in my room again. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it sounds like we’re both dateless. Sorry sis.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t think he would come through anyway.”
“Let’s take ourselves out then. Get dressed and we’ll go out.”
Are all big brothers that awesome? Probably not. I got up and changed into the outfit the girls dressed me in and put my hair up in another bun. Too bad Talia wasn’t here to do my makeup I couldn’t find the desire to put any on since I was just going out with Brandon.
Big mistake. Brandon drove us to a restaurant that specialized in wings and had dozens of TVs surrounding the tables so every possible sport had coverage. Carter was there saving us a seat. I almost died when I saw him. I felt my heart stop beating. I swear.
He waved us over and winked at me as I slid into the bench across from him.
“I heard you got stood up. Sucks.”
I fought the urge to laugh but gave in. Between him and Brandon I never had the opportunity to be sad.
“It does suck and it’s super awkward since he’s my formal date tomorrow night.”
“Ouch. There’s no way to play it cool then.”
Brandon hit him in the arm. “It’s not a big deal, right Aubrey.”
I nodded and looked around for the waiter. We needed to speed up this meal before it got uncomfortable. Finally our server caught my eye and walked over. After taking our order and bringing out of drinks I tried to sit back and go unnoticed. I didn’t know how long I could sit across from Carter without saying anything. Was I sweating? I put my hand on my forehead, no fever. I’m just losing it because I’m sitting within kissing distance of him. Ah! Don’t even think about the word kissing. Panic was taking over. Could this trigger another panic attack? We were about to find out.
How could he sit there talking to Brandon like everything is normal? Obviously Brandon didn’t know about what happened since Carter isn’t sporting a black eye. How could he keep something like that away from his best friend?
Carter caught my eye and smiled. “Are you okay, Aubrey? We’re not boring you are we? Sorry we can stop talking about work.”
My brain was struggling to remember how to speak. Seconds passed. “It’s fine.” Ha! I did it!
Brandon gave me a weird look. Could he read my mind? “You feeling alright?”
“Yup.” Score two for Aubrey.
I was saved when our server brought out the wings and I pretended to concentrate on my food. There was no eating contest tonight which was disappointing since I could have used the distraction, but thankfully the sports and wings kept the guys from focusing too much on how weird I was being.
When we were ready to go I stood and made my way to the door weaving a path through the customers waiting for their table. I needed to get outside. Fresh air would clear my mind. When I got outside I turned and collided with Carter’s chest.
He smiled down at me. “Whoa there. You’ve been quiet all night. Is something wrong?”
I looked around for Brandon making sure he wouldn’t overhear us. Carter noticed and told me he went to the restroom.
“It was just a little surprising to see you here. I thought it was just me and Brandon.”
He looked disappointed. “Sorry I ruined your night with him. I didn’t know.”
I sighed and shook my head. “It’s not that. I don’t mind you being with us, I just wasn’t ready for it.”
“Because of what happened?”
Why else would I be acting like a freak? “Yeah.”
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Aubrey. I want you to know that I . . .”
“You guys ready to go?” Brandon interrupted and I wanted to kill him. I looked back at Carter hoping he would finish but he just shook his head.
“Yeah, I’ll see you guys later.” He walked away not bothering to look back once.
“Aubrey, ready?” Brandon stood in front of his car waiting for me. I silently got in and buckled up. What was Carter going to say? What did he want me to know? That he regrets ever talking to me? That he wishes he could take the kiss back? Or could he have possibly have wanted to tell me that he feels something, too?
Chapter 28
We all agreed to meet at Talia’s in the morning to start getting ready together. We were going to do our hair and makeup at one house then go home to change into our dresses so our parents, or brother, could take pictures of us and our dates before we met up again for dinner.
I walked into Talia’s room and was overwhelmed with the smell of hair products. I saw a spread of makeup any girl would envy and there were four sets of pictures to show how each of our hair and makeup should look. Apparently she had been busy.
“You guys really go all out!”
Talia and Alexis turned and laughed at my expression. Alexis stood and guided me through the plans. “Talia put together the ideas based on what would look best for each of our dresses. We’ll take turns helping each other, but Mckayla is the hair master and I’m the makeup girl. Talia just likes being pampered.” She winked and handed me my pictures.
“Since you have a one shoulder dress she has you with loose curls pinned back so they fall over one shoulder, very old Hollywood. And we’re keeping your makeup light with a nude lip so your emerald dress is the focus.”
“Wow that sounds great, thanks you guys.”
“Of course! This is what we all love to do. Mckayla should be back soon she just went to get us some Frappuccinos.”
Over the next several hours we each took turns doing each other’s make-up and hair. I laughed more than I had in weeks. Spending time with just my girlfriends was exactly what I needed after such a dramatic week.<
br />
☀☀☀
We had taken a little too long getting ready together so I had to rush home to get dressed. Hopefully Luke wouldn’t mind waiting for a few minutes. I ran past Carter and Brandon sitting in the living room and yelled hello.
Once I was in my bathroom I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I walked into my closet and unzipped the garment bag that held my dress. I smiled as I lifted it out and saw the brilliant emerald color again. I removed my tank top and shorts and slipped into the gown. After I zipped it up and slipped on my nude pumps I looked at the mirror and smiled. I looked like an Old Hollywood movie star, just like Alexis said. I felt so glamorous as I turned and studied every angle.
I heard the doorbell ring then the soft murmur of the guys talking. I called out to tell them I was ready and opened the bathroom door into my room. I grabbed my nude color clutch and was ready to meet the guys when I stopped cold.
There was something sitting on my bed I swear wasn’t there when I walked in to get dressed.
There was a little white envelope centered on my bed. It looked harmless enough, but my heart was racing. My breath was coming in rapid and shallow gasps. I don’t know how long I was standing there staring at the envelope; it could have been seconds or hours.
I shook off the feeling of dread and took a tentative step forward. I felt like at any moment someone was going to jump out and scream telling me this was some kind of sick joke. The closer I got the more I realized this was real.
I finally reached the side of my bed and extended my arm to take the envelope. In small, neat writing my name was spelt out across the front. I turned it over and broke the seal suddenly wanting this to all be over.
I pulled out the white card inside and screamed.
When I opened my eyes Carter, Luke, and Brandon were surrounding me. I realized I was lying on the ground and struggled to push myself up to sit. Brandon helped me never taking his eyes off mine.
“What happened, Aubrey?”
I looked from him to Carter hoping one of them would read my mind so I didn’t have to say anything in front of Luke. No luck. They all sat there staring back at me wide-eyed and waiting.
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