Banishing Shadows

by Lorna Jean Roberts

  It was just another form of hell.

  Nerves jangling, she shifted restlessly, gazing around the bar as she silently cursed herself. All the strangers, the noise, it was overwhelming. She longed to go home, to lock her doors and crawl under the bed covers.

  Not that home held the safety it once had. Four months ago, her sense of invulnerability, her belief that bad things happened only to other people had been shattered when she’d been attacked in her apartment.

  Her gaze slammed into Cord’s too perceptive eyes. The noise around her faded as his gaze pierced every shield she’d erected. He arched a brow. Damn him. She had a feeling her days of avoiding him were gone.

  Kayla settled back onto her stool, sending him a haughty look. His lips curled at the corners. Lord, what a fool she was, just asking for trouble and both of them knew it.

  She forced back a blush. Two years had passed and yet she still grew embarrassed when she remembered how she’d chased after him—throwing herself at him only to have him run away from her. She’d given up on being mad, but the hurt still lingered.

  Because she still cared for him.

  Luckily for her, his army career had kept him overseas. And she’d made sure she was busy every time he’d come home. Now, after losing the last of her innocence, well, she didn’t really care what he thought of her, did she?

  Yeah, right.

  “You okay, kid?”

  Jumping slightly, Kayla turned, encountering her oldest brother’s concerned gaze.

  “I’m fine, Luke.” She kept her voice low, although it was doubtful the others could hear her over the noise in the bar.

  “Are you sure you’re coping all right? You know you can come home anytime, don’t you?”

  Kayla smiled and nodded. But she wasn’t going to move back in with her brother—no matter how hard it was to sleep at night or how much she dreaded going home to an empty apartment. It didn’t matter that it sometimes took her half an hour to work up the courage to unlock her apartment door and go inside.

  She couldn’t let fear debilitate her. Not anymore.

  She had to find herself again, to get a life back. It had been four months since the attack and she was sick of hiding.

  “I’m fine, Luke. My apartment is secure. You should know, you helped choose it, remember?”

  Luke and her twin brothers, Quinn and Joe, had helped her move into her apartment three weeks ago. Not only did the building have a security system, but they’d had one installed in her apartment as well as a panic button. Everything they could think of to make her safe.

  And still she couldn’t turn off all the lights at night.

  But moving out of Luke’s place had been a major step in taking back her life. And she’d started working again, as a receptionist for her brothers’ plumbing business. As long as she kept going forward she knew she’d get there in the end. Get her life back to normal. She wanted to have friends again, to date, to go out at night without feeling afraid, to go a week without a nightmare waking her.

  So here she was, at welcome drinks for her brothers’ newest employee, Reed. Not because she wanted to be, but because it was time to fight back. Unfortunately she hadn’t figured on Cord being here.

  It shouldn’t have come as such a surprise. While he’d always been closet to Jed, Cord got on well with all her brothers. Cord had pretty much lived at their house growing up and she knew her other brothers saw him as part of the family.

  Years ago, she’d promised herself that the next time she encountered him she’d show him what he missed out on. How together, strong and successful she was. Any chance of that had been ruined four months ago.

  Belatedly, she realized Luke had asked her something.

  “Umm, sorry, what did you say?”

  “Reed.” Luke nodded his head toward the thin, blond-haired man talking to Joe. “He’s been working for us for a week now. What do you think of him?”

  Their other employees were men she’d know for a while. Pete had worked for them for three years, Evan close to a year.

  Kayla looked over at Reed. “He seems nice. Polite.”

  “Good, that’s good. Kayla, is everything all right between you and Cord?”

  Kayla swallowed heavily. “Ahh, yes, of course, why do you ask?”

  “Well, you used to hang on his every word, yet I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding him for a while now. Did you two have a fight?”

  “Oh yes, just a silly one a couple of years ago. You know how stubborn we both are, we like to hold a grudge.” She laughed, wincing at the nervous edge to it.

  “Life’s too short to stay mad, kid. Talk to him, okay?”

  “Sure,” she lied.

  Luke looked at her thoughtfully. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Swallowing, she found a smile. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”

  He smiled back. “I’m your big brother. I’ll always worry about you.”

  Cord peered across the table at Kayla. Over the past two years he’d barely laid eyes on her. Three days after taking her virginity, he’d left the country, kicking himself for his lack of control. Kayla had deserved someone far better than him for her first time.

  Whenever he’d come home during the last two years, she’d either been away or busy.

  Busy avoiding him.

  Was she still angry over what had happened? Embarrassed? He tapped his fingers on the table, frustrated that he didn’t know what she was thinking. When she’d walked into The Rusty Hammer and seen him sitting there, he knew she’d considered bolting. It was written all over her pale face—in the way she’d paused, quivering. Then her shoulders had straightened and she’d walked over to the table where he sat with her brothers and their employees.

  This was the first time he’d gotten a good look at her in the fortnight since he’d been home and he was worried. Her long, dark hair lay lank and dull against her back, her skin was sickly gray, her eyes glazed. Perhaps she’d been ill. It would explain the fatigue he could see on her face, the weight she’d lost. But it didn’t explain the fear in her eyes, or the way she jumped whenever someone brushed past her.

  Kayla had always been a firecracker. She’d been brought up with a healthy sense of her own self-worth, her ability to do anything. Now she looked more like a frightened seven-year-old girl than a self-assured woman of twenty-three. And he wanted to know why.

  Cord Marsden knew exactly what sort of man he was. He knew his strengths and weaknesses. He lived with the demon inside—his legacy from his father. Restraining that edge of violence had turned him into the man he was today. Others might consider him cold, emotionless. He didn’t care. He wasn’t a man who hesitated, who ever questioned his decisions.

  Except where Kayla was concerned.

  He’d often thought back to that night Kayla had walked into Purgatory. He’d meant to drag her home and give her a brotherly scolding—he’d ended up seducing her instead.

  Now he’d returned with the full intention of seducing her again.

  Only this time he was here to stay.

  “Kayla, you listening?” Kayla shook herself free from her musings, managing a smile for Quinn as he scowled down at her. He might look like his twin but he was the complete opposite in personality. Where Joe was quiet, calm, Quinn was a hurricane, loud and volatile.

  Quinn pulled his cell phone from his pocket as it started to ring and glared at it.

  “Aren’t you going to answer that?” she asked, knowing the answer.

  He grunted, switching it off. Quinn hated mobile phones, using them only when he really had to.

  “I’m going to go to the bathroom.” She needed some space.

  Slipping off the barstool, she avoided Cord’s gaze as she turned to walk across the bar to the bathroom. Inside, she stared at herself in the mirror. She looked pale, stressed. She’d had enough. She’d put in an appearance, faced both Cord and a bar full of strangers. No wonder she felt so on edge.

  Time to go home.
<
br />   She stepped out of the bathroom.

  Rough, bruising hands grasped her harshly, pulling her back against a large body, a big palm covering her mouth. Chilled, starved for air, Kayla fought to take a breath through her panic-stricken throat. Dragged backward, she tried hard to fight through her fear.

  A door opened and she found herself being hauled through the alleyway behind the bar toward the road.

  And then as suddenly as she’d been grabbed she found herself free. Kayla lay on the sidewalk, dazed and disoriented. Turning toward the thick, thudding sound of flesh hitting flesh, she gasped. There was Cord, his face calm, his movements brutal as he beat the shit out of the man who’d attacked her.

  The sound of squealing tires barely registered. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from the scene in front of her. Cord landed a heavy blow to her assailant’s face as a dark van raced toward her, driving up onto the sidewalk. She stared at the approaching vehicle, stunned.

  “Kayla!”

  Time slowed. The air grew thicker, smothering all sound. Sprawled on the ground, she felt numb. Her heart wasn’t racing, her hands weren’t shaking, panic no longer clawed at her. Instead a strange calmness descended over her, shielding her, and she welcomed it with open arms.

  Cord picked her up, his firm arms surrounding her, piercing her tranquility. He jumped out of the path of the racing van, which slowed briefly so her assailant could scramble inside. Cord put her down before turning to race after the van.

  Exhaustion washed over her in a suffocating wave. Kayla sat on the hard ground, eyes closed, willing her body and mind to drift away. It was simply too much. She couldn’t deal with this.

  “Kayla, honey, are you all right? Talk to me!” Hands touched her, moving over her, forcing her to face reality. She opened her eyes to a wall of people. Along with her brothers, it seemed as though most of The Rusty Hammer’s patrons were staring down at her in avid curiosity. Air escaped her lungs with a whoosh, her stomach rolling as sweat coated her skin.

  “Kayla, breathe, you’re having a panic attack. Come on, honey.” Luke’s voice made little impact. Black edged her vision.

  “Kayla. You come back right now. You hear me? Kayla? Hell!”

  Caught in a well of darkness, she struggled to surface. Cord’s voice caught her, dragging her into consciousness. Her first breath was more a hiccup. As she breathed in the second, she caught the mingling scents of sandalwood and sexy man.

  “Kayla, don’t you dare fucking faint!” His face swam in her vision. “Breathe. Breathe. In and out, there you are. Do it again, in and out.” She was trembling, but the tightness in her chest eased with each breath. Scooping her up, Cord carried her inside.

  “Use my office.” She stared over at Tim, The Rusty Hammer’s owner. He was a good friend of Luke’s. By the time they made it to his office, her breathing had evened out, her heartbeat slowing.

  Cord marched in as though he owned the place, slamming the door behind him and quickly turning the key, locking her brothers out.

  “Cord—” She winced when Quinn pounded on the door, yelling.

  “Give us ten,” he called back before turning his glare on her.

  “Don’t talk, Kayla, not yet.” He set her on a scarred wooden desk that dwarfed the small office. His face could have been made of granite were it not for the small tic at the side of his mouth, indicating how livid he was.

  “I’m mad as hell with you, Kayla.”

  Mad at her? She scowled. Where was the sympathy? The soothing words? Would it kill him to smile at her? Yeah, it probably would. The man rarely smiled, probably didn’t even know how.

  “Are you hurt? Did he harm you?” Even as he asked, he was running his hands over her body, checking her. She shied back, causing him to glance up, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully. Kayla forced herself to sit still.

  “I’m fine. He didn’t have a chance to hurt me before you came along.”

  “You’re white as a ghost.”

  “I was just attacked, of course I’m pale,” she snapped back, folding her arms to try to still the trembles running through her. Why was this happening to her again?

  “How did you know I was in trouble?” she asked.

  “You were taking too long. I checked the bathroom and when I saw you weren’t there, I opened the fire exit door that leads to the alley. That’s when I saw him dragging you toward the road.” His fists clenched.

  “Are you sure he didn’t harm you?” He reached out to touch her again, but she held up a hand, shaking her head. “What happened, Kayla?”

  “He grabbed me as I left the bathroom. Put his hand over my mouth so I couldn’t scream and dragged me out into the alley.”

  He frowned sternly. “Why did you just lie there when that van was coming straight toward you?”

  She took a deep breath but remained silent.

  “Do you know why someone would want to kidnap you?”

  She shook her head.

  Cord loomed over her, his voice eerily calm. “Damn it, Kayla. Talk to me. What happened to your spunk? The girl I knew was a fighter. If I said the sky was blue she’d have argued it was green.”

  Shuddering with nerves and shock, she snapped back, “I grew up! I learned that life isn’t always fun or carefree. Anyway, it was only with you that I argued every point. You were so arrogant. No one ever fought you on anything. I was doing you a favor. Your ego was so inflated that if your head had gotten any bigger it would have exploded.”

  “Is that so? Sounds like I was a real ass. And yet you still tried to seduce me.”

  Don’t blush, don’t blush, she repeated the litany over and over, knowing it was a futile wish. “Like I said, I was a child back then. I’ve grown up.”

  “Does that mean you won’t be throwing yourself at me again?”

  Her head flew up as her temper fired. “God, you’re even more arrogant than before, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, baby, I am.”

  Sirens sounded. The police. God, did she even have the energy for this? She rubbed her forehead with a shaking hand before attempting to climb from the desk. She was too vulnerable with him standing over her. But Cord grasped her shoulders, his superior strength easily holding her in place.

  “Why the hell didn’t you fight? Scream? Yell? Kick? Hell, I know you’re capable of defending yourself, Kayla. I helped teach you. Yet you didn’t even try to avoid that van. What were you going to do? Let it run you over? Why the hell didn’t you move instead of lying there like a beached whale?”

  Her jaw dropped as shocked anger surged inside her. “You did not liken me to a whale. You ignorant jerk. How dare you yell at me!”

  “I am not yelling at you.”

  He was right. He wasn’t yelling. She almost wished that he would. Anything would be better than the icy fury in his voice. The angrier he got, the colder and quieter he became.

  “When I saw someone trying to hurt you—” He broke off. Kayla was shocked by the pain in his voice. Stepping back, he turned away from her.

  There was a brisk knock on the door.

  “Police are here,” Luke called out. “They want to talk to both of you.”

  For the next twenty minutes, as the police officer interviewed her, Kayla’s mind continuously mulled over their conversation. Why was he so angry? He acted as if he actually cared about her. But was it because she was his best friend’s little sister or something more? She shook off her thoughts as foolish. He was merely acting like an overprotective brother. Sighing, she stretched, trying to ease the tension in her muscles.

  All she wanted was to go home and forget tonight had ever happened.

  * * * * *

  “Of course you’re coming to stay with us.”

  Kayla winced as Quinn’s voice boomed at her angrily. Stay with him and Joe? Was he mad? She’d only just gotten away from Luke’s overprotective love, there was no way she was going to turn around and move in with the twins. Unfortunately, the stony look on Quinn’s face told her he wasn
’t budging. He was already on edge, worried about her, livid at Cord for shutting them out. She just wished he’d quiet down a little because his temper wasn’t helping calm her anxious nerves.

  “I’m not coming to stay with you,” she insisted, glaring at her three brothers. Overwhelmed, she felt as though there wasn’t enough oxygen in the small office with the four of them crowding around her. Quinn paced while Luke stood by the door. Joe sat behind the desk, his face thoughtful and Cord leaned against the wall, staring at her.

  It wasn’t fair, having four large, stubborn, overprotective men ganging up on her.

  “It’s best that Kayla stays with me.”

  “What?” Quinn turned to Cord, his body stiff with temper. Kayla’s jaw dropped slowly.

  “No it’s not,” she protested.

  Cord’s eyebrows rose. Kayla squirmed, fighting the urge to back away. If she thought she could make it out the door she’d leave. But none of them would let her get far.

  “I don’t know why you think I need watching over. I’m sure this was a random attack, it won’t happen again. I want to be in my own place, with my own things.”

  Actually, the thought of being alone was terrifying. Yet if she moved in with Luke or the twins she’d be going backward. She was scared she’d find herself living with her brothers until she was old and gray.

  And Cord was the last person she wanted around. She didn’t want to be close to him, day in, day out. Didn’t want him seeing how broken she was.

  Luke rubbed his face tiredly. “You can’t stay by yourself, Kayla. You were just attacked. Surely you don’t want to be alone. Your choices are limited to the people in this room, and I may have to leave town at short notice, so I think it’s best you don’t move in with me.”

  All gazes turned to Luke at that statement.

  “Why? What’s happened?” Worry for her oldest brother pushed all other fears aside.

  Luke sighed. “Lily. She texted me last night.”