The Price of Falling

by Tushmore, Melanie

  Near the end of the class he had shifted sideways in his seat, always ready to rush off. When I glanced at him this time I was surprised again when he suddenly looked at me. Automatically my eyes flickered down, but hopeful for some reason I dared to look up. Jason wasn't looking at me now but as I stared at him, my stomach doing flips, he slowly turned his eyes back to me. I didn't look away and after locking eyes momentarily, he was the one who averted his gaze.

  Unexpectedly, I saw him smile.

  The bell sounded and the class rose to its feet, chattering and shouting. Stunned, I got up slowly and stared after Jason. He left his desk and walked off, but I thought I could see him smile again.

  The thrill I got from this exchange of looks and seeing him smile made me think maybe I shouldn't give up just yet.

  I was confused, longing for something I couldn't quite put into words.

  Being Friday, there was a party on at the quarterback's house. His parents were away and he was making the most of it. I needed to be distracted, have some fun. I went along, drank a beer and made out with a girl who seemed interested in me. As I held onto her neck and kissed her, I couldn't help but feel frustrated that this wasn't really what I wanted.

  When I was leaving the party I overheard a small group of girls by a car discussing how they were getting home. I noticed they weren't the usual girl-next-door or cheerleader types. They wore slightly ripped jeans and had teased hair but weren't totally scruffy. One of those transient crowds that always hang out with everyone, never quite fitting in with one group for long.

  As I walked past they were debating how they were all going to fit in the car, and which direction to go in first. One of the girls said they had to go over to West Hills, which wasn't too far from here. An idea came to me then, and I helpfully offered two of them a ride. After the girls had weighed up whether I was drunk or a creep, they agreed to accept the ride home.

  As I drove and they giggled in the back, I struck up conversation. I didn't know them but I had seen them about at school. I figured if I was going to ask anyone, might as well be these girls. I said I needed to take my sister out somewhere, and casually asked where else was cool to hang out. They shrugged and mostly said ‘I dunno,’ but then one said, ‘We go to Eddy's.’

  ‘Oh, the pool hall, right?’

  ‘Yeah, that’s it,’ she replied.

  Eddy's, I thought.

  I was at my charming best, and asked if they knew my class-mate Jason.

  Oh yeah, they replied.

  And when will Jason be at Eddy's, I asked, pretending I had something I needed to give him.

  ‘Most people go out tomorrow night,’ one of them said.

  Tomorrow then, I thought, nervous energy already coursing through me.

  When Saturday night came around I was determined to talk to Jason again. What probably would have helped was if I'd rehearsed what I could say, but it never even entered my mind. The furthest my plan got was to find Jason and talk to him.

  I drove out to Eddy's and parked outside, hoping my car would be alright. The neighborhood Eddy's was in was known for being a rough place. Outside the entrance a group of shiny motorbikes were parked, with huge guys in leather jackets standing next to them holding beers. They seemed busy comparing their bikes, so I hurried past them through the door and looked around.

  The pool hall was dimly lit, smoky and loud. They mostly played rock music here, which was what made it popular with passing bikers, truckers and kids with ripped jeans. I was probably the only person here with clean jeans on.

  I made my way inside, thankful that the guys I knew didn't ever come down here, and looked for Jason. I walked around all the pool tables but couldn't see him. Disappointment gripping me, I was about to buy a drink to at least have something to do while I waited, when I heard a girl call, ‘Hey Mike! Over here!’

  I looked over to see one of the girls from last night waving at me.

  ‘Oh, hey,’ I smiled at her as I approached.

  She was sitting up on a window ledge with another girl, as they watched some others play pool. ‘What's up?’

  ‘Just playing a game,’ she smiled. ‘You thought you'd come down then?’

  ‘Yeah, well, I was looking for Jason.’

  ‘He'll be here,' she said. 'You wanna play me next?’

  ‘Sure, why not?’

  The girl, Natalie, took me to a new table and I played against her. It was different to what I was used to. A lot of my friend's houses had pool tables but this one was old, scuffed and stained with beer. At least I hoped that was beer. The air was so smoky in here it was starting to make my eyes water.

  During our second game some more of Natalie's friends arrived. These were the dedicated pot-head types; all their clothes were ripped, all of them had hair that was...interesting to say the least. As I stared up from my shot I saw with a thrill that Jason was with them. I made to shoot and unfortunately potted the black.

  ‘Bad luck!’ Natalie laughed.

  ‘Guess I lose,’ I grinned at her, placing the pool cue on the table. ‘Thanks for the game.’

  ‘Any time,’ she replied, smiling.

  She probably liked me I realized, but I didn't want to lead her on. I squeezed past the table and made my way over to Jason, who gave me a bemused look. As I neared him, my heart pounded with nerves.

  ‘Hey, jock,’ he greeted with a sly smile. ‘What d'you want?’

  I was pretty sure I could smell alcohol on him, which might explain why he was smiling. I took it as a good sign. ‘Can I talk to you?’ I asked quietly.

  ‘Hm, maybe. Buy me a drink and I'll think about it,’ Jason grinned and turned away from me. He watched his friends, who were starting to divide up on to two different tables to start playing.

  I blinked in surprise. I hadn't expected this reaction either.

  I stepped closer to him to ask, ‘What do you want?’

  ‘Shot of whiskey and a beer,’ he said over his shoulder.

  I nodded, more from sheer surprise, and did as he asked. I went up to the bar and ordered the drinks, hoping I looked twenty-one. I was pretty tall for my age and no-one knew me here so I should be alright.

  I got served and paid, leaving a big tip in the hope it would warm the bar-tender to me. She didn't even say thank you. Taking the glass with a shot of whiskey and the bottle of cold beer back to the table I looked for Jason.

  He was standing by the back wall with a dark haired boy, leaning in to talk to him. He had even longer hair than Jason and wore several silver chains and necklaces around his neck. When they noticed me approach they stopped talking; I saw the other boy grinning as he turned away and pretended to talk to a girl. Jason looked up as I held the drinks out to him. The sly smile crept back onto his lips as he took one in each hand and swung back the shot of whiskey. He placed the empty glass in my hand and held onto the beer.

  ‘Thanks,’ he smiled, eyes dancing. Then he turned around, clearly about to ignore me and leave me standing there holding an empty glass.

  ‘Hey, hang on,’ I said, reaching out to grip his arm without even thinking. ‘I want to talk to you.’

  Jason turned back with a stern face. He looked me dead in the eye, then pointedly down at my hand on his arm. I swiftly released my grip, my hand retreating. Jason looked back up at me.

  ‘You're crowding me, jock. Get lost.’

  ‘No,’ I said, as a sudden determination took over. ‘I'm not leaving until you answer my question.’

  Jason frowned slightly in what seemed like genuine thought then asked, ‘What question?’

  I leaned in closer to him, not wanting his friends nearby to hear us. I could see a couple of them looking at me, talking behind their hands. Probably wondering what I was doing here.

  To Jason I repeated the question I asked a few days ago, ‘What do you do?’

  He rolled his eyes then gave a small laugh. ‘That's for me to know and you to find out, jock.’

  ‘Why won't you tell me?’ I pr
essed, starting to feel frustrated.

  Jason simply smiled again and glanced over at the pool game, making out like he wasn't interested in talking to me.

  ‘I've got money,’ I said, not sure what else to do.

  This got his attention though; Jason snapped back to look at me, frowning again.

  ‘Good for you,’ he said, sounding annoyed. He swigged back some beer and started to walk away. I noticed a couple of his friends watch the departure, but they didn't leave their game. I decided I didn't care if they looked or not and followed Jason as he sauntered over to a pin ball machine.

  ‘Jason...’ I started, not sure what I should say.

  He looked at me, then glanced at the pin ball machine he was standing in front of, raising his eyebrows momentarily. He seemed to be waiting for something.

  ‘What?’ I asked, oblivious.

  Jason rolled his eyes. ‘Put a quarter in, dummy,’ he said, taking another swig of beer and placing the bottle on top of the machine.

  ‘Oh, sure.’ I fumbled in my pocket for change. I wondered why yet again I got a small thrill from obeying an order from him. As I dropped a couple of quarters into its slot the machine whirred to life with flashing lights and loud bells.

  ‘Alright!’ Jason exclaimed, shrugging off his jacket and throwing it on the floor. He gripped at the sides of the machine and leaned over, concentrating on the balls and paddles.

  I stood next to him and watched, not quite sure what to do. Instead of watching the game I watched his face, illuminated by the red and orange flash of the lights. Even though he seemed pretty drunk he played the game well and got over five hundred points before he lost the ball. He swore, then glanced over at me before he released the next ball.

  ‘So what d'you want, jock?’ he asked me.

  ‘It's Mike,’ I said.

  Jason snorted again. ‘So what do you want, Mike?’ He released the shutter and the ball entered the game, ringing and whooping as he snapped the paddles.

  ‘Well, I wanted-’ The machine clanged loudly as I tried to speak. ‘I wanted to know what you do.’

  Jason, still staring down at his game, raised one shoulder in a shrug. ‘I dunno,’ he answered, as if considering. ‘What d'you want? You want me to suck you off?’

  My heart leapt into my throat as I tried to answer. Jason's sudden change had shocked me but the heat travelling down to my groin answered the question.

  ‘You do that?’ I managed to get out.

  Jason's eyes flickered up at me. ‘Duh,’ he said simply, going back to his game. He soon lost the ball though, and swore again as it went down the hole with a dramatic 'glug glug' sound effect from the machine.

  ‘So?’ Jason rose up and faced me, waiting.

  I nodded, silently agreeing. I could feel myself sweating all over.

  ‘Alright,’ Jason smiled, picking up his beer. ‘You give me cash up front.’

  I nodded again.

  ‘Two hundred bucks.’

  ‘What?!’ I said in surprise. ‘You're kidding?’

  Jason was still smirking, obviously trying to subdue the laughter building inside him. ‘For you, jock, it's two hundred. Take it or leave it.’ He turned back to the pin ball machine and held out his hand. ‘You got any more quarters?’

  My mind was racing. I didn't have more than sixty dollars on me, but I had money at home. I always saved pretty much all my allowance to use at college. I knew I'd have enough. I could be home and back within an hour. I had to get the money, there was no question about what I wanted now.

  This was it.

  I delved a hand into my pocket again and fished out all the quarters I had. I handed them over to Jason, his fingers felt cool and smooth as they brushed mine, accepting the coins. My hand flexed involuntarily after his as he drew it away, but I pulled it back quickly. I didn't understand what had come over me.

  ‘OK,’ I found myself saying. ‘But I need to go home to get the money.’

  ‘Mm-hm,’ Jason had already counted the quarters and placed them in a small pile on the top of the machine.

  ‘Will you wait for me?’ I asked, not entirely trusting him.

  ‘Yeah, yeah,’ Jason smiled and looked at me. ‘I'll be here. You bring the money and we'll-’

  He brought the bottle of beer to his lips. I watched as he placed just the rim of the bottle in his mouth and slowly traced his tongue around in a circle before taking a swig. His eyes danced as I searched them, but with another smile he turned back to his game, placing my quarters in the slot.

  ‘OK,’ I murmured, just barely. ‘I'll be back.’

  ‘Yeah, see ya,’ Jason waved distractedly, starting up another game.

  I turned and quickly left the pool hall, glancing back just once to see him still at the pin ball machine. When I got into my car I had to adjust myself in the seat to get comfortable, my cock throbbing hard in my jeans.

  Chapter 2

  I drove home real fast. My jeans still felt too tight. I tried to think about other things, concentrate on the road. I was more excited than I'd ever been.

  Gliding the car round the drive and up to my house, I parked quickly and badly. I shut off the engine and tried to get my key in the lock with shaking hands. My parents were at a charity function tonight, only my sisters were home and probably watching TV downstairs. I ran in and fumbled about in my room, ransacking the shoebox where I kept my money and important papers. I counted out two hundred dollars and jammed the notes into my wallet. I still felt hot and sighed as I rubbed at my jeans again. My cock was hard and it wouldn't be going away soon.

  In a bid to calm myself down I jumped into the shower, moving the nozzle down so it didn't wet my hair. I set the water to a cool temperature and leaned both hands against the tiles, taking deep breaths. After a few minutes of trying to think about something, anything else, I just gave up. All I could picture was Jason's pink tongue around that bottle top, imagining his lips on me. My cock throbbed at the thought. I realized there was no point fighting it and reached a hand down my body. I hadn't touched myself like this for some time, and before I hadn't thought about anything in particular. Now as I pumped my hand in quick strokes I thought of him, and his mouth.

  After the shower I dried off and dressed in clean clothes, relieved I felt less tense. The thought that Jason was playing a joke on me did enter my mind. Maybe he figured I wouldn't come back with the money. He may not even be there when I get back, I realized. I grabbed my wallet and keys then hurried back down the stairs.

  My sister, Alicia, was near the bottom of the stairs holding what looked like a half empty bowl of popcorn. ‘Aren't you staying?’ she asked.

  ‘I just-’ I gestured vaguely upstairs. ‘Forgot something. Be back later.’ I smiled at her as I passed, but didn't look directly at her.

  ‘See you later,’ I heard her say, as I walked through the door as calmly as I could. I climbed back into my car and started the engine, easing it round the circle drive at a normal speed. I didn't want Alicia to hear me burning rubber.

  Once on the main road I floored it to get back to Eddy's. I checked my watch a dozen times, trying to work out how long I'd been gone. When I got there and parked I noticed there were more motorbikes now. One of the big guys with a long beard and a bandanna was sitting on one and revving the engine. Other guys stood around him, still with their beers, muttering their appraisal. I edged my way past them and entered the hazy, dim glow of Eddy's once more.

  My chest tightened and my heart hammered. I was pleased I hadn't put my sweater back on since I'd changed as I already felt hot. Eddy's was pretty warm anyway but it was busier now; all the pool tables were in use and people were noisier.

  I made my way carefully past the tables and guys taking shots, towards where Jason had been. I saw his friends up ahead playing a game but I couldn't see him. As I neared their table they looked up at me. The only one I recognized was the boy who wore a lot of jewellery. He was standing by the table, holding his cue in front of him as ano
ther girl took a shot, albeit rather drunkenly.

  ‘Um, excuse me,’ I asked.

  The boy looked at me with a slight frown, probably not remembering me.

  ‘Is Jason around?’ I asked.

  The boy then gave me a smile, and nodded as if to himself. ‘Oh sure,’ he smirked. ‘He's outside.’

  I was grateful to get out of the smoky heat into the cool night air. I edged my way past the bikers again at the entrance and walked round the side of the long brick building. The parking space in front was pretty huge, but I figured I'd try at the side of the building first.

  When I rounded the corner I felt sure Jason would be down here; it was a typical pot-head hang out. A large alley way was created by the walled side of Eddy's and the closed convenience store nearby. There wasn't as much light down the alley, only a small lamp over a side door, with crates of empty beer bottles piled up. However I could see the small red glow of joints being smoked at the far end of the alley, and made my way down there.

  Talking and giggling greeted me as I got closer. I saw Jason sitting on some upturned crates in the dark, with another boy and two girls.

  ‘Oh look, its Mike!’ a girl's voice drawled, amidst giggling. As I neared them I realized it was Natalie.

  ‘Hey,’ I greeted, trying to be friendly, but my eyes moved instantly to Jason.

  He looked up at me with that sly smile. ‘Didn't think you were coming back,’ he said, seemingly amused. He held a joint in his fingers and brought it up to his lips for a long drag.

  ‘Well, I have,’ I stated dumbly, not entirely comfortable in front of his friends.

  Jason pressed his lips together as he held in his breath, then offered the joint to me. I'd never smoked a joint before and still wasn't keen to try it.

  ‘Oh, no thanks,’ I told him.

  I heard one of his friends snicker. Jason blew out plumes of smoke and gave a small laugh. He handed the joint to the other boy and muttered something quietly. The boy laughed and started smoking the joint himself.