The Price of Falling

by Tushmore, Melanie

  Alicia had come to stay with us on her summer vacation. She'd just completed her Sophomore year. Blake's family took us camping in the hills, probably for Alicia's benefit. They liked her a lot, everyone did.

  Blake was still welcoming, he was a real fatherly figure. But as nice as they all were, I was miserable. Alicia's visit was only for a week. She had summer projects to do, a life to lead. I appreciated her coming out to see me so far away, especially when the rest of the family ignored me. After Alicia left I went back into my daily drudgery, feeling worse than before. I gave up all hope that Dad would ever talk to me again.

  Blake must have noticed how down I was. He mentioned a couple of times how he didn't agree with my Dad's actions. But I already knew that. Blake was a real nice guy. He was the one who took me into town to open up a proper bank account once I was eighteen. I'd always thought my Dad would do this with me, and it was kinda sad.

  ‘Son...’ Blake said, one day over breakfast.

  Blake always called me son. I used to call him Sir, but he insisted I use his first name.

  ‘I got a proposition for you.’

  ‘What's that?’ I asked, perplexed. Blake never usually discussed business this early.

  ‘My friend has a position open in his company for a good, young man. And I've put you forward for it.’

  I was anxious and excited at the same time. I had no idea what it was, but worried I'd offended him too.

  ‘You...you want me to leave?’

  ‘Hell, son,’ Blake waved his knife about as he buttered his toast. ‘You're welcome here, you know that. But I know this is boring for a kid. Well, not even a kid, you're a man now!’

  I didn't know how to reply in a polite way. I listened as he carried on. ‘Look,’ he said. ‘This is my company, it's my baby. My family's here now. But you're young, you need to live a life! My friend Dwayne has a company in New York. They need a young, hard-working guy to help them start a new department. I recommended you.’

  ‘You did?’

  ‘Of course, son!’ Blake crunched on his toast, chewed a moment then carried on talking. Crumbs blew out of his mouth with excitement. ‘I told him all about you, we agreed you'd be perfect. The job's yours if you want it.’

  I was dumb-struck. ‘But...’ I panicked, ‘But I won't know how to do the job?’

  ‘No-one will, son! It's a new department. Just go with the flow. Make a few executive decisions, act like you know what's going on. And always kiss ass to the big bosses!’

  ‘But...New York?’

  ‘You'll love it!’

  My heart started to flutter.

  New York.

  Me. In New York.

  ‘Where will I live?’ I asked, coming round to the idea.

  ‘We'll sort it out. I'll come up with you and we'll pick a place. You gotta rent, but your new salary will more than cover it.’

  ‘Oh,’ I said, completely bowled over. ‘I don't know what to say.’

  ‘Yeah, you do, son.’ he grinned at me.

  ‘Thank you,’ I smiled back.

  Chapter 8

  Blake and I took a plane over to New York. I was so excited, actually bordering on happy. I hadn't felt anything like this for almost a year.

  The way Blake was talking it up made me even more excited, and only a little nervous. On the plane over he showed me print outs of different apartments from rental agents. He pointed at one and said it was new and big, and in a neat area apparently.

  ‘But what about the job?’ I kept asking.

  ‘Just make it up as you go, son,’ he said. ‘It's a new department, no-one's gonna know shit. And you're in charge!’

  I smiled as we touched down.

  New York City was amazing. We caught one of the many bright yellow cabs from the airport and drove over the most jaw-dropping bridge and river I'd ever seen, the Hudson. I gaped out of the window at the skyline, the famous Statue of Liberty holding her torch aloft.

  I loved her instantly, she gave me a feeling of new hope. Later on, whenever I felt down I'd get myself over to the river, catch a ferry and just stare at her silhouette against the sky.

  When we first arrived I couldn't get over the almighty scale of the city. The sky scrapers were enormous, towering over the main streets in blocks of concrete and glass. For a small town boy like me it was a little over-whelming. Blake didn't bother with a map, whenever we wanted to go anywhere he just hailed a cab, as he said he hated the subway. He chatted to the different drivers as we went to apartment viewings.

  We picked up a guy from the rental agent's along the way, who would let us into the apartments. He tried to explain to me how the city was laid out but it went in one ear and out the other.

  Blake laughed at my confused expression. ‘Might be worth getting cabs at first before you start driving to work! I don't want you taking the subway until you understand where you're going.’

  ‘Where will I be working?’

  ‘Ah, good point,’ Blake turned to the agent, looking at one of the sheets of paper. ‘The office is on Almont and fifth, where's that?’

  ‘That's uptown,’ the agent replied. ‘Beautiful area, very popular with-’

  ‘Yeah and very expensive too, I'm sure!’ Blake interrupted him, laughing his in big Texan drawl.

  I smiled at him. I was glad Blake was here to look after me.

  We saw four apartments in total, then went for lunch to decide on the best option. I would be moving up here in a couple of weeks, so I had to make a quick decision. All the apartments were available and ready to move in, so it was only a matter of deciding on the journey to work, and the area.

  I told Blake I really liked the third apartment. They all looked kinda similar inside anyway, all big, open plan and modern looking. It was the outside I was more interested in. On this street it had green trees all along it and there was a main street just around the corner with shops and cafés. I felt like I needed to be near people after being stuck in the middle of nowhere for so long.

  ‘Right,’ Blake declared. ‘That's settled then!’ He made a call later to the agent to accept the apartment, arranging the deposit for me and everything.

  ‘You gotta let me pay you back,’ I told him.

  ‘No, son,’ he replied with a smile. ‘My gift. I got spare money anyway seeing as Kelvin can't have it right now. You just enjoy it, that's enough for me.’

  I felt sad all over again. I was pleased to be going somewhere different but I would miss Blake a lot. ‘I don't know what I'll do without you,’ I said, trying to smile.

  ‘Hell, son,’ he patted me on the shoulder. ‘You'll do fine.’

  ‘You're going to New York?’ Alicia was shocked. ‘I'll never see you!’

  ‘You can stay with me,’ I told her over the phone. ‘My apartment has two bedrooms! You can come visit and stay whenever you want.’

  ‘Oh,’ she sounded appeased. ‘That would be cool.’

  ‘Will you come see me over Thanks-giving?’

  ‘Of course I will,’ she promised. ‘Think of all the shopping I can do!’

  I smiled. I had something to look forward to. Thanks-giving would be the first time she could travel that far. I would probably have to spend my birthday alone again; as it was in September she would be starting her Senior year at Ellwood.

  Still, at least I would be somewhere different. Maybe I'd have new friends by September.

  When I packed up my small amount of things and was dropped off at the airport by Blake and Melissa, I had to swallow back the lump in my throat. I suddenly felt nervous, like I was being sent off alone to face the world. I didn't feel ready.

  Blake patted me on the shoulder in farewell. ‘Prodigal son, remember?’ he winked at me. ‘Make us proud, son.’

  ‘I'll try,’ I told him, wrapping my arms round him in a hug. I'd never hugged him before, and I never hugged my own father, but Blake didn't feel awkward. He gave me a big bear hug in return and patted me on the back.

  ‘You're a good ki
d, Mike,’ he said into my shoulder. ‘Don't let anyone tell you different.’

  I had to bite back the tears. I nodded against him, afraid to let go, but I had to. I hugged Melissa and little Tatum as well. They were like my surrogate family, and now I had to leave. They stood at the entrance and waved me off. I waved back, suddenly more afraid than I'd been in my whole life.

  I spent the whole flight panicking. I tried to read but I couldn't concentrate. When we came in to land and I looked out the window, seeing Liberty Island in the distance, it did make me calmer. The twinkling lights below looked impossibly bright, and I soon learned that they never went off.

  I took a cab to my new apartment. I had the keys and let myself in. It had some furniture in, but it was devoid of any real personality. The whole minimal living thing seemed really popular here. I turned on all the lights. I could do what I wanted now, this was my own space.

  I felt a massive relief at that, even if I was scared stiff about starting the new job on Monday. It was Saturday evening, and I had the whole day to myself tomorrow.

  Well, I had the whole rest of the my life to myself now, I thought.

  I went into the kitchen area for a glass of water. There was no food in here yet, I'd have to get a take out later. I opened the sliding balcony window and stood on the slim ledge in the night air, gazing out at the street. I was pretty high up, and could just about see over the first few buildings. I wondered if New York was this noisy all the time.

  I quickly learnt it was. People shouted a lot, people called out, you could hear parties from blocks away, and you could always hear the traffic, the gentle movement of vehicles from down the street then the sudden blare of a horn. But I got used to it, even grew to like it. It was like I was never alone.

  On Sunday I took a walk around my neighborhood. It was pretty neat, one of the expensive places. I was amazed I could afford the apartment but Blake had assured me my salary would cover it. In fact when I looked at the figures he gave me, I couldn't believe they were going to give me so much money. I didn't know how I would ever repay Blake but I hoped I would see him again.

  His last words at the airport went some way to repairing the damage my Dad's words had done to my self esteem.

  I walked around a lot on my days off. I bought new sneakers and clothes and went running in Central Park. I was amazed at all the different smells crowding in from the streets, even the river. OK, most of the time I could smell exhaust from the busy streets, but it wasn't so bad. I thought New York was beautiful, I loved being there. Now all I needed were some friends.

  My first day at work was strange. I had a new suit. Blake and Melissa had insisted on taking me shopping for it. Blake said when I got my first pay check I should go buy lots of suits, as I'd have to live in them. It took some getting used to, especially the ties.

  I arrived at the office, which was a tall, marbled building in one of the business areas uptown. I got a cab and was purposely early, taking after Blake. I'd scribbled the floor I had to get to on a bit of paper, and waited downstairs in the lobby for the elevator. I had a briefcase as well, a gift from Melissa. It was shiny black, and probably looked impressive but it was empty inside. I figured it would soon be full. With what though would be anybody's guess.

  When I got up to the seventh floor a pretty receptionist smiled at me.

  ‘Can I help you?’

  ‘Yeah, hi, I'm Mike Miller. I'm looking for Raymond?’

  ‘Oh, you're the new solutions leader,’ she beamed at me. ‘I'll let him know you're here.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I smiled back. Solutions leader? OK.

  I was shown into a board room where some other business guys and two ladies with big shoulder-padded suit jackets were sitting around a polished wooden table.

  ‘This must be Mike!’ The older man who had been standing next to a flip chart came up to shake my hand. ‘I'm Ray, we spoke on the phone.’

  ‘Hello,’ I replied, as he shook my hand with vigor.

  ‘Welcome to the team,’ Ray gestured to the others with a sweep of his hand. ‘Team, this is Mike, our new business solutions leader.’

  I smiled at them shyly but I was officially crapping myself.

  Ray guided our new 'team' in the first few days, kinda saying what he wanted but not really being specific. I wasn't even that sure what the company, Glenn Corporations, actually did. As far as I could work out they just sort of suggested things to other companies, along the lines of recruiting, training, and 'working together' in the corporate world.

  Everyone said the word 'team' a lot. It was like being back at football practice. OK, I thought, I could work with this. Ray was a little similar to my old coach but with less shouting.

  In fact no-one shouted at me here, no-one told me off. I didn't know what to make of it at first. I even had my own receptionist. Her name was Tara and she kept asking if I wanted coffee. She would bring in a little trolley and pour it out for us all if we were having a meeting.

  We had a lot of meetings. Nothing really happened in them, we just kinda talked. It was ridiculous really. As long as we came up with one simple, sometimes stupid idea or even a catch-phrase for the day, Ray was happy.

  Ray was my boss. He was the operations manager. His office was up on the nineteenth floor but he was always flying about visiting everyone else. He was very hands on, and actually real easy to work for. Sometimes he took me out for lunch. He was probably in his forties, definitely younger than Blake. I wondered if Blake's friend Dwayne, who was one of the bigwig directors apparently, had told Ray to look after me. Either way I didn't care, I counted my blessings that I seemed to be getting through one day at a time.

  At first I spoke to Blake on the phone a lot. He always took the time to talk to me, and asked me in detail what it was like. He coached me on what to do, what to say.

  ‘Never let them forget that you're in charge!’ he would drill into me. ‘Say things like, we need to think outside the box, and be pro-active.’

  ‘What does that mean?’ I asked him.

  ‘Exactly!’ he guffawed from the other end. ‘Just spout shit like that and they'll eat it up.’

  ‘OK,’ I agreed.

  I figured I'd better follow his advice. My team were actually all kinda young, like me. Because our department was going to be focusing on 'the youth of America' they wanted younger people on the team. Some of them could be a little frosty, especially the girls. Some of the guys as well, but I kept my distance and maintained what I hoped was a professional approach.

  One of the guys I warmed to, he seemed very open and friendly, not at all like the others. His name was Aaron, and he invited me out for a drink after work one Friday. I would be nineteen in a few weeks time, but I wasn't sure if I would get served or not.

  ‘Er, I don't think I can drink here yet?’

  Aaron himself was twenty-two, and shrugged away my concerns.

  ‘Hey, we're in suits. We'll be fine.’

  He was right. We went to a cocktail bar and sat near an open window watching people go past. Aaron liked to watch ladies go past, and he would try to catch their attention in his cheerful manner. He made me laugh. I hadn't hung out with another guy near my own age for a long time.

  Aaron liked to work out, and took me along to the gym he went to. I joined up too, I felt like I needed to expel more energy than I could during the week. At the weekends I liked to go running, but after work during the week there were too many people all trying to get home.

  I went to the gym after work with Aaron most nights. One of the other guys, Richard, sometimes joined us. I didn't feel he was as genuine as Aaron though. I felt like Richard was trying to get on my good side, which I found weird.

  At least I had one friend now, and some acquaintances. Occasionally our whole team would go to a bar together, or out for a meal. I never felt particularly relaxed at these things, as I felt people still had their 'work heads' on. I kept up my protective barrier with everyone, especially in groups. I joined in
the talk but tried not to give anything away. It was only alone with Aaron I could relax.

  There was a grocery store near my street, run by an Italian-American couple, that were always welcoming to me. Each night after the gym I would get my cab to drop me off outside so I could do my shopping, then I'd walk around the corner to my apartment.

  ‘Hey, Maria,’ I would greet the lady behind the counter with a smile whenever I walked in.

  ‘Oh, hello, Mike!’ Maria would welcome and make a fuss of me. ‘How are you? What are you cooking tonight?’

  ‘Probably more chicken and pasta,’ I'd reply.

  They had an awesome selection of pasta and sauces which was roughly within my cooking abilities. If I asked about something Maria loved to help me pick out the ingredients and give me tips on how to cook. Her husband Tony was always sat behind the counter, watching his little television or reading the paper.

  ‘Let him pick his own dinner, Maria, huh?’ He often said in his sing-song New Yorker's accent with the Italian lilt. I knew he was only teasing, they liked to tease each other a lot.

  ‘Young man like him needs a good meal inside him,’ Maria would reply, thrusting various products at me. ‘Try this one. You should let me cook for you, Mike! You know my daughter Sophia, she will be a very good cook! You could marry her.’

  She often said that. It made me laugh. I had met Sophia once; they all lived above the shop. Sophia was only about twelve.

  ‘We'll see,’ I'd smile. ‘Have a good evening.’

  ‘Goodbye, Mike! Come back soon!’ Maria always said.

  It felt good to have such friendly contact on a daily basis. I'd thought before I moved here that I would get to know my neighbors and meet people that way. I quickly learnt that everyone in New York was always in a rush, and it was only by chance if you happened to bump into your neighbors.