Lethal Cruise: A Humorous Cruise Ship Cozy Mystery (Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries Book 9)

by A. R. Winters

  In urgent whispers, Cece and I filled Sam and Shaun in with what we’d found out about Nurse Jessica, how she was actually Jasmine Willow, a beautician who killed one of her clients through administering an overdose of Phytox while high on something else.

  “That’s crazy,” Shaun said, wide-eyed.

  “It is!” Sam said. “So we’re going to arrest her?”

  “That’s the plan. Shaun? Why don’t you stand over there at the end of the hallway to grab her in case she gets ahead of us? We don’t want her getting away.”

  “Yes, ma’am!” Shaun headed to the end of the hallway and held out his arms like he was ready to block anyone trying to get past.

  “Cece, Sam? Let’s try and get in there and grab her by the arms before she knows what’s going on. I don’t want to get in a fight with her. Who knows what she might try and inject us with?”

  “And she’s probably got a gun,” Cece said confidently.

  That had not occurred to me and I didn’t like it one bit.

  “Why do you say that? Firearms aren’t allowed on board.”

  Cece shrugged. “Criminals have guns, especially murderers.”

  “The plan stays the same. We’ll try and grab her by the arms. If she’s got a gun, she won’t be able to get it. Okay?”

  “Yep.”

  “Let’s do it!”

  I rang the doorbell and we waited.

  “Smile, so we look friendly and she isn’t suspicious until we can grab her.”

  The other two dutifully put nervous-looking smiles on their faces, though Cece looked more manic than friendly.

  And we waited.

  And waited.

  “Ring it again,” Sam urged.

  I did, holding the button down to let Jessica know that her guest really wanted her to open the door.

  There was nothing, only silence.

  “Okay then.” I blew out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. It looked like we’d missed her for the moment. “We’re going to search her cabin. If she went to dinner, maybe we’ll be able to figure out where.”

  “She might be pretending not to be there,” said Sam.

  “Right. Let’s be careful. Do your thing,” I said to Cece with a nod.

  Grinning, she used her keycard to unlock the door to the cabin.

  “Let’s go!”

  I pushed the door open hard as soon as the lock whirred open in case the nurse was hiding behind it, and the three of us rushed into the room.

  We did a preliminary search to see if she was in there, but we couldn’t find any sign of the beauty practitioner.

  “There’s no one here,” Cece said. “Let’s see if we can find some evidence. Or a gun. Or a dinner reservation or something.”

  We immediately began a hurried search, yanking open doors and drawers, lifting up clothes draped over chairs, and checking on and beneath every flat surface.

  “Umm, guys?” Sam said nervously. “Come look at this.”

  Cece and I approached Sam, who was standing by the room’s desk, which was against a wall near the bed. Sitting on the wooden surface, was a letter written in blue ink. I immediately thought of Tuff and Canyon, and the letter they had received.

  Two letters in two days. A coincidence? I didn’t think so. I began to read the note out loud.

  “To whoever finds this,

  “By now you must have found out what I did. Ever since that awful incident, there isn’t a day that has gone by where I didn’t feel guilty. I thought a fresh start, in a new city would make me forget it all. It didn’t. But I kept on, persevering, hoping things would get better. They didn’t. This trip was my final attempt at starting over, starting afresh, washing away my sins with a week on the ocean. But of course, my past came back to haunt me. Bruno threatened me and I did something dumb and now he’s dead. That didn’t help either. It just made the guilt worse. Now I have two deaths on my conscience. Twice the agony, twice the anguish.

  “And what’s more, I am nearly bankrupt, and there is no hope in my future. By the time you find this, I will have already left for my final swim. Goodbye. -Nurse Jessica (formerly Jasmine Willow)”

  “Oh no!” Sam sucked in a deep, worried breath.

  “That solves that problem,” Cece said brightly.

  I gave her a Look. “We’ve got to stop her!”

  “Do we?” Cece asked in confusion.

  “Yes! Of course! Justice must be served. We can’t just let her get away with it.”

  “Death seems like a pretty harsh punishment,” Cece said with a shrug.

  “We’re not letting her get away, and that’s final. Come on!”

  “Where are we going?” Sam asked.

  “Outside! She didn’t kill herself in here, and where else is someone going to kill themselves on a cruise ship? She’s going for a final swim, and I don’t think it’s going to be in one of the swimming pools.”

  “Yep. Probably going to jump overboard.”

  Cece nudged me. “You should try and get a picture.”

  “What? No! We’ve got to stop her. Come on!”

  We rushed out of Jessica’s cabin, and I hoped we wouldn’t be too late.

  “She hasn’t come yet,” Shaun said as he saw us approaching.

  “No. She left before we got here. We’ve got to find her. We think she’s going to jump overboard. We’ve got to search the outside decks.”

  “We’ll split up,” Cece said. “Addy and I will take starboard, you two take port!”

  Sam glared at Cece, clearly not enthused by the idea of being sent off with the guy who had a crush on her.

  “Let me send Ethan a message.”

  Nurse J killer! Trying to suicide. Checking decks!

  That would have to do. And I needed to have words with him about running off with the captain when he knew I was about to drop by!

  “Umm, which one is port, and which one is starboard?” Sam asked with a confused frown.

  “How long have you guys worked on this ship? Just go that way,” Cece said, pointing to the left.

  Shaun grabbed Sam’s hand to hurry her away but she yanked it away.

  “Look at those two lovebirds go,” Cece said with a laugh.

  “Come on!” I grabbed her arm and hurried outside.

  I just hoped we wouldn’t be too late.

  Chapter Thirty

  Cece and I broke into a jog as soon as we got to the outside deck.

  It was the main deck that wrapped around the ship and the most accessible, so if she was going to jump from anywhere, it was almost certainly going to be this one.

  Unless we could get to her in time.

  And if we hadn’t made a mistake in heading for the most obvious place.

  Outside, the sun had fully set and darkness had fallen upon the ocean. A stupid thought flitted across my mind, but thankfully not my face — I hoped I wouldn’t run into another bat again. I shuddered to think what it would feel like having one of the furry, winged little critters hitting my face in the dark.

  After less than a minute of our frantic run around the deck, Cece grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop. We both crouched down, the only sound we could hear the rasping pants of our breaths.

  “Look!” she hissed under her breath, pointing ahead of us. Her eyes were better than mine in the dark because it took me a moment to spot what she had seen so easily. We had just been approaching the pool deck, very close to where I had been jumped by the models.

  “What is…? Oh… oh!”

  There was a thumping sound as a cleaner’s cart was tipped over, and a large body-shaped object wrapped in a sheet slumped onto the deck. The tipper of the cart was clearly a woman, and she seemed to be in a rush to get her current task over with. She bent down and grabbed the sheeted figure by one end.

  “She’s got the housekeeper she paid to rob her cabin!”

  At least that’s what I thought was happening. It made sense. If her cabin hadn’t really been robbed, then it must have been someon
e else we’d seen on the camera. The most logical explanation was that she’d bribed a housekeeper to pretend to burgle the cabin. Why hadn’t we interviewed all the ones in the area? I’d have to bear that in mind next time…

  “She’s faking her own death again!” Cece said angrily. “And committing a murder in the process!”

  “No, she isn’t! We won’t let her!”

  Up ahead, Nurse Jessica was now dragging the body toward the edge of the ship. We didn’t have long to act. The time for hushed whispering was over. We needed to do something fast.

  “Hey!” I yelled. “Stop! Jessica, stop!”

  While I shouted, we both began to run toward her. We were there in plenty of time, thank goodness. There was no way she’d be able to throw the innocent housekeeper overboard before we got her.

  As I got closer, I saw that she was wearing a mask over her face again, and she had a housekeeper’s apron with its single deep pocket tied to her front. No doubt she had disguised herself for the cameras on her way out.

  “I’ve got her!” Cece shouted over her shoulder as she sped away from me. She was much faster than me, and it wasn’t just because she was younger. She was a naturally gifted athlete.

  Nurse Jessica dropped the wrapped body she was dragging when she saw and heard us approaching. As Cece charged toward her, she reached into her pocket and grabbed something before spreading her arms wide as if to welcome my friend into an embrace.

  “Watch out!” I yelled, in alarm. What did she have? A gun? A knife? More Phytox?

  But it was too late. Cece flew into Jessica, who wrapped her arms around Cece and spun around, using her momentum to send my poor friend crashing into the railing just behind.

  “Oww!” said Cece as she hit the railing. “Oww!” she yelled again as Jessica jabbed her in the upper arm with something.

  I was near panic. Seeing your own friend hurt was somehow much worse than being attacked yourself. At least I thought it was. When Canyon had jumped me, I’d been shocked and afraid, but not like this.

  Now I was angry, too. I didn’t know what she’d just stuck in Cece’s arm but I was fearful.

  “What was it? What did you do!?” I yelled.

  “She stabbed me!” Cece shouted from the deck. She tried to stand but fell over. “She sh… sh… sh…” And then she stopped talking. From her already slumped position against the railing, she toppled over even further, lying prone on the deck, unmoving.

  “Cece!” I yelled, coming to a stop a few yards away from the murderous nurse.

  “She won’t hear you. She’s gone.”

  “Gone!? You… you…”

  “Gone to sleep, you idiot. It’s a tranquilizer.” She kicked the wrapped body at her feet. “Same as this idiot too.”

  “Jessica! You have to stop this! Now! You’re caught!”

  “Jessica?”

  I took another step closer, sizing her up and down. How was I going to take her down without being stabbed by this deranged medical practitioner myself?

  The woman in the mask slowly undid it, letting it drop to the deck at her feet.

  “You think I’m Jessica? You’re dumber than you look. Wasn’t the model’s fake note clue enough? You didn’t guess that Jessica’s was fake too? Man…”

  I stared at her.

  “B… Brenda?”

  “Yes, Brenda. Now come here. I want to show you something.”

  It was Bruno’s old bartending partner and Darren’s fiancée. It had been her all along. She’d robbed Nurse Jessica’s cabin and provided the note to the models to get them to attack me.

  And she killed Bruno.

  “I’m not coming near you. You’ll inject me with something.”

  She tilted her head at me and gave me a little nod of something akin to respect.

  “Okay, I take it back, you’re not quite as dumb as you look. But nearly.” She reached into the apron pocket in front of her and pulled out another syringe. “Are you sure you won’t let me inject you with this?”

  “Nuh-uh,” I said, taking a step backward. I didn’t want her to get too close to me, but I did want her further away from Cece and the railing.

  Brenda looked down and checked that neither Cece nor the other body was moving. They weren’t.

  “Is that Jessica?” I said, pointing a foot in the direction of the other unconscious person.

  “Yep. She was just about to go for her final swim. Don’t suppose you want to help me toss her, do you?”

  I took another step back and Brenda took one more toward me. She looked down at the deck at my feet, and then behind me. It looked like she was considering lunging at me, no doubt to inject me with the same fast-acting drug she’d used on Cece and Jessica.

  “But why? Why did you do it? Why kill Bruno?”

  “I’m a good Samaritan.”

  “What?”

  “Bruno was a bad guy. He was totally blackmailing people, like, all the time. Who does that? It’s awful behavior. Makes the world a worse place. I was doing everyone a favor.”

  I narrowed my gaze at her. “I don’t believe you.”

  She snorted.

  “Okay, I guess that version had a bit of spin to it. What really happened was that Bruno and I used to be partners—business partners, not romantic. We blackmailed people together. But I didn’t want to do it anymore. I met Darren, fell in love—I mean, I made him fall in love with me—and I was going to put it all behind me. Why blackmail people for cash when you can just marry a lifetime supply’s worth of money? And that isn’t even illegal. Everyone’s happy.”

  “For you. Not your fiancé.” I took another half-step backward. Brenda noticed and matched me, a horrid smirk on her lips.

  She shrugged. “Whatever. He was just a mark. But he was mine. When Bruno showed up, he wanted to blackmail half the ship. And me. He told me, either I go back in partnership with him again or he would tell Darren everything.”

  “So you killed him?”

  She shrugged.

  “I guess you could put it that way.”

  “But you did, right? You smacked him over the head and injected him with enough Phytox to kill an elephant.”

  She shrugged again.

  “If that’s your definition of killing someone, then yeah, I guess I did. I mean, it wasn’t really me that killed him though—it was the Phytox, right?”

  “That doesn’t make any sense. Of course it was you.”

  “Whatever. I’ve got a proposition for you. And your friend, too,” she jerked her head behind but didn’t take her gaze off me. I stepped back again and she followed.

  “What’s that?” I wasn’t interested in whatever proposition she wanted to make, but I’ll admit I was curious. And I also wanted to stall her as long as I could.

  “You work on this ship. I bet you see all kinds of stuff. Especially with a keycard and access to all the CCTV. Help me get a job here, and we’ll make a mint. As soon as I’m done marrying and divorcing Darren, we can team up. What do you say? We’ll be the three musketeers.” She frowned in thought. “Three musketeer-ettes. Muskatettes? Whatever. We’ll be rich, rich, rich. What do you say? Are you in? Going to bring it in for a hug?” She held out her arms wide for me.

  “Nope. No way.”

  Brenda heaved a dramatic, world-weary sigh.

  “Then I guess we’ll have to do this the hard way. You ready?”

  She raised the syringe she was holding into the air.

  “Yep. Now, Shaun!”

  She blinked in confusion and then tried to launch herself in my direction. There was one problem.

  While she’d been talking and talking, Shaun Anderson, the pool boy had snuck up on her.

  Just as she launched herself at me, he wrapped two big, strong arms around her waist and hefted into the air.

  “Agh!” she shouted in shock.

  “Not so smart now, are you?” I called to her.

  I probably shouldn’t have done that. It made her mad.

  She wrigg
led in Shaun’s grasp and then swung her arm through the air, stabbing the poor pool boy in the neck and pushing the plunger down.

  “No!” I shouted.

  “What… wha… wh…”

  Shaun slumped to the ground, the drug working extra fast since it had been administered straight into his neck.

  “Oww!” shouted Brenda in surprised annoyance. She hadn’t accounted for the way he would fall, and instead of being instantly freed she found herself crashing into the deck with the heavy pool boy crashing down on top of her.

  She began to use her arms to wriggle away from under him.

  “Oh, no you don’t!”

  Appearing from the shadows, Sam launched herself at Shaun and Brenda, landing on top of the unconscious pool boy who was luckily in no state to feel it.

  But Brenda was. She groaned as the air was forced out of her lungs with the added weight.

  I walked back over to her, no longer afraid. I crouched down.

  “Now who’s the dummy?” I asked.

  “It’s certainly not you,” said a rich, warm voice behind me. “Well done, Adrienne.”

  I turned around and beamed up at First Officer Definitely Hot Stuff, who was accompanied by Captain Ellman and Kelly.

  “I knew it was her,” said the captain excitedly.

  All I could do was shake my head.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  It was the busiest I’d ever seen Doctor Ryan’s sickbay. The patients all shared one large room, though it could be divided up with plastic blue curtains.

  The whole room smelled of disinfectant, metallic surfaces, and bed linen that was washed with a different set of detergents and softeners than the rest of the ship, a sterner aroma.

  “Yo.” Cece was sitting propped up against a small pile of pillows, the sheet pulled up right over her and clutched against her chest like she was cold. “I feel like I drank a whole bottle of whiskey.”

  I patted her on the hand. “You’ll be glad to know you didn’t.”

  That brought a smile to her lips. “No way. At least I know I would have had fun then…” She closed her eyes a moment. “Oh. Yeah… that wasn’t fun. I remember now.” A frown crossed her brow. “It should be you in this bed.”